Britain. 400 Years Of History. (1035 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.93 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dervel (View user info) at 2005-07-29 06:36:31 EDT
In Memoriam.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 10:15:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Guido Fawkes was a nobber.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-08-22 06:42:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-22 06:19:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
29th of July? When are you going to post again idiot?
---
I half wrote one then I got bored and scrapped it.
Then I got half way through making a stupid thing in MS Paint, but got bored.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-08-22 06:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I missed this- cool post.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-22 06:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
29th of July? When are you going to post again idiot?
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-05 07:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love this post
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-05 06:48:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I loved 'Killer Queen'
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-08-04 06:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-04 05:49:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-29 16:50:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-07-29 10:10:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-29 08:24:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your Queen is a German.
---
so is yours
---------------------
I've have renounced her.
---
TREASON!
------------
It was right after she released her last album, it was bollocks - I hated it. That and she let Paul Keating feel up her fat bottom girl, she's a tramp, and a killer queen, a 'queen killer' if you will, don't think I haven't put two and two together and come up with eight. She murdered Diana and made the French the scapegoats, the Germans hate the French. But hey, who doesn't?
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-04 05:49:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-29 16:50:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-07-29 10:10:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-29 08:24:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your Queen is a German.
---
so is yours
---------------------
I've have renounced her.
---
TREASON!
Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-08-04 05:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plenty of dead seagulls where I live old cheddars.
Dent is dead seagull savvy! Ubersite is saved! Poor Dervel is rejuvinated, he need no longer fear the gulls! Good old Dent saves the day!
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-08-04 04:53:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where did you dig that up from?
I still haven't seen a dead sea gull.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-08-04 04:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha...
Candy floss!!!
AAAAAHAHAHA!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-04 04:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-04-21 09:49:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Whilst nearly on the subject, we were talking about sea gulls last night in ye olde yonder pub.
None of us have ever seen a dead one, now bear in mind we're all in our mid 20's and live by the coast.
We could only conclude that sea gulls are, in fact, immortal.
Never seen a baby pigeon either.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I concur.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-04 04:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-07-29 13:45:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
We have had a recorded message being played about every 15 minutes over our Bus radios.
For the first few days it was fine, but now the cassette they are using, (yes it must be a cassette), has stretched or warped or something.
the message goes.
"Drivers are reminded to check their buses at regular intervals for unattended or suspect paka.... (long pause) .....ges......."
The accent that it is recorded in makes it sound so much like "Paki......" with the "...ges" added as an afterthought.
I know it is wrong but it still makes me laugh.
-Dave
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-29 17:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-29 16:50:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-07-29 10:10:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-29 08:24:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your Queen is a German.
---
so is yours
---------------------
I've have renounced her.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-07-29 16:25:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-07-29 10:58:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
"God save the Queen? No. God ATTACK the Queen. I've seen her. She's pretty fucking saved. Should be more like: 'God attack the Queen, send big dogs after her... they'll bite her bum.' And then, the Queen would have to fight the dogs off with nothing but a handbag with a brick in it. 'Oh! Crazy dogs! Crazy dogs!" And what if she won?! Then, she would have self respect for the first time in her LIFE!"
***********************************************************************************************************
Cookielass has quoted Eddie Izzard - I'm now in love with her...
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-07-29 14:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-07-29 13:45:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We have had a recorded message being played about every 15 minutes over our Bus radios.
For the first few days it was fine, but now the cassette they are using, (yes it must be a cassette), has stretched or warped or something.
the message goes.
"Drivers are reminded to check their buses at regular intervals for unattended or suspect paka.... (long pause) .....ges......."
The accent that it is recorded in makes it sound so much like "Paki......" with the "...ges" added as an afterthought.
I know it is wrong but it still makes me laugh.
-Dave
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-29 13:30:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That was a joke, Bob.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-29 13:29:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-07-29 12:56:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Guy Fawkes is shooting like a gangsta in that picture.
---------------
"Wazzup now, muthafucka!"
I noticed that too... I just didn't want to be the idiot who pointed it out.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-07-29 12:56:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Guy Fawkes is shooting like a gangsta in that picture.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-07-29 11:12:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As I said in an earlier comment ETS, it's a tedious link but:
Guy Fawkes and his boys were from Yorkshire, so were the 7/7 lot.
Guy Fawkes 1605, London bombings 2005.
1605 - British subjects, 2005 - British subjects.
Post Guy Fawkes there was a violent backlash, as there is today.
400 years down the line people remember Guy Fawkes but no-one will remember what happened in London in 400 years time, which is a shame. The victims got a 2 minute silence and that's about their lot.
History repeats and the only thing that is remarkable is that you can nearly always draw comparisons, i.e. Lincoln / Kennedy.
I could strain it further by saying that both lots had beards and dark hair. Oooooh! The parallels!
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-07-29 10:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"God save the Queen? No. God ATTACK the Queen. I've seen her. She's pretty fucking saved. Should be more like: 'God attack the Queen, send big dogs after her... they'll bite her bum.' And then, the Queen would have to fight the dogs off with nothing but a handbag with a brick in it. 'Oh! Crazy dogs! Crazy dogs!" And what if she won?! Then, she would have self respect for the first time in her LIFE!"
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-29 10:55:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
ok, I know the history you're talking about, but I don't fucking get why you're bringing it up or how it connects to anything.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-07-29 10:37:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-2 for not mentioning Monty Python.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-07-29 10:21:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish my History teachers were as cool as you. Maybe I would have payed attention.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-07-29 10:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-07-29 10:10:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-29 08:24:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your Queen is a German.
---
so is yours
------
HAR HAR!
Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-07-29 10:17:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just reading the lyrics to Three Lions gives me goosebumps.
In my trousers.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-07-29 10:10:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-29 08:24:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your Queen is a German.
---
so is yours
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-29 10:05:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
???
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-07-29 09:30:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope there won't be a written test.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-07-29 09:24:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
England is way cool
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-07-29 09:21:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And...he he he...Churchill was "Half-American." His mom was a divorcee. He he he he.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shut up! Churchill was a fat, boozing, numpty, motherfucker but he was our fat, boozing, numpty, motherfucker.
Neville Chamberlain was underated.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-07-29 09:11:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck I dunno. I'm from lil' ole' Texas. I like cows. And guns. And barbeque. And oil. And, of course, everything is bigger in Texas. "It's like a whole nuther country!"
Some of that shit kinda rings a bell from old history classes though.
And I kinda dig the whole "Rule Britania" thing.
And...he he he...Churchill was "Half-American." His mom was a divorcee. He he he he.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-07-29 09:09:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dervel Im sure you're that poor sod outside changing of the guards getting poked by tourists all day...
Be strong mate - keep repeating in your head "I love my queen I do... I love my queen I do"
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-07-29 08:40:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like how this has a perfect rating, makes no sense, and has only been reviewed by Brits and Aussies.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-29 08:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For centuries your cuntry was raped and pillaged by the Romans, Vikings and Germanic tribes.
One day the French rocked up and said, "Fuck it, we'll stay."
Your Queen is a German.
(i think it's bad news for the English game)
(we're not creative enough)
(we're not positive enough)
It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming,
footballs coming home (we'll go on getting bad)
It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming,
footballs coming home
It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming,
footballs coming home
It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming,
footballs coming home
Everyone seems to know the score, they've seen it all before
they just know, they're so sure
that England's gonna, throw it away, gonna blow it away
but i know they can play,
'cus i remember
three lions on a shirt
Jules Remet still gleaming
forrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty years of hurt
never stopped me dreaming
so many jokes, so many snears
but all those 'oh so near's
when your down, through the years
but i still see that tackle by Moore
and when Linaker scored, Bobby belting the ball
and nobby dancing
three lions on a shirt
Jules Remet still gleaming
forrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty years of hurt
never stopped me dreaming
(England have done it, in the last minute of extra time)
(what a save, what now)
(good old England, England that couldn't play football)
(England have got it in the bag)
i know that was then, but it could be again
It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming,
footballs coming home
It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming,
footballs coming home
(England have done it)
It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming,
footballs coming home
It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming,
footballs coming home *REPEATED IN BACKGROUND*
three lions on a shirt
Jules Remet still gleaming
forrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty years of hurt
never stopped me dreaming
three lions on a shirt
Jules Remet still gleaming
forrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty years of hurt
never stopped me dreaming
three lions on a shirt
Jules Remet still gleaming
forrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty years of hurt
never stopped me dreaming
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-07-29 08:04:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent. I've got a Paki in my boot. How does one hang-draw-and-quarter again, sonny?
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-07-29 07:44:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-07-29 07:04:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Cromwell was a fucking legend.
We should forgive that fact that his motivations were largely religious as the power that he gave to the parliament is the major reason why we don't have those imbred royal fuckers doing anything other than waving to people today. Educated power rather than inherited power.. its gotta be a better deal.
-=-=-==--=-=-=-=-=-=
In defense of monarchy or even totalitarianism, it's much, much more stable.
Although I'd agree in most cases it's not a good thing.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-07-29 07:39:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm going to stretch this tedious link a bit furtherby pointing out that Guy Fawkes was from York!
OH NO! BEARDY PEOPLE FROM YORKSHIRE!
DUN DUN DUNNNN!
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-07-29 07:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cromwell was a cunt. A fucking prejudiced, aggressive, puritan cunt.
Old Ollie's greatest achievements:
Being a bit useful on a horse.
Things he fucked up royally (ha ha! crap pun):
England.
Ireland.
Scotland.
Then after committing regicide and putting parliament (an act which cost 100,000 people their lives) in charge he sacks parliament, arrests half a dozen MP's and takes totalitarian control of the country and declares himself Lord Protector.
What a guy. Smoke me a kipper and all that.
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-07-29 07:15:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
in 400 years I reckon people will put effigies of tube trains full of people on bonfires instead of guys.
"penny for the tube?" just doesn't have the same ring though.
damn I love bonfire night.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-07-29 07:14:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-07-29 07:04:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Cromwell was a fucking legend.
---------
No he wasn't he was a big gay 'air, nobbite who only managed to make this country better by accident.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-07-29 07:04:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cromwell was a fucking legend.
We should forgive that fact that his motivations were largely religious as the power that he gave to the parliament is the major reason why we don't have those imbred royal fuckers doing anything other than waving to people today. Educated power rather than inherited power.. its gotta be a better deal.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-07-29 07:03:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well spotted young Dervel.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-07-29 06:38:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is mainly because I didn't know that rhyme had more to it. But the post is true as well