Another round bartender (875 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.4 on 44 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by knucklesnelson (View user info) at 2005-07-29 20:59:33 EDT
Tonight im gonna get drunk and be somebody. Im not a big drinker, more of a pothead. But once every blue moon i like to catch myself an alcohol buzz. Its funny the magic that a few drinks can hold. For some it makes them the biggest bad ass on the planet. Well at least until they get there ass beat. For others it makes them the bravest person in the world. I've seen some of the fugliest guys get a little too much in them, trying to rap to some chick that is way out of his league. Then you got the honest drunk, this guy/gal gets so drunk they spill all their dirty secrets. I once had a buddy break down out of nowhere, and tell us "my uncle used to play with my naughty bits". Of course after we laughed, and he cried some more we felt bad.
Cant forget the the sorry drunk. You get this fucker drunk, he pukes on your shoes, then the rest of the night its "Aw jeez, im so so sorry, im such a fucker, wah wah wah wah". Nigga please you only got to say sorry once, and shut the fuck up. Then theres the clumsy drunk, you all know who they are. When this bastard gets to drinking. Dont let them near any of your shit with a burning cigarette, or anything less than a childs sippy cup. This fucker will ruin your shit, carpet:stained, couch:burn holes. Watch this fucker at all times. Then finally the category i would like to think i fall under. The happy drunk. This guy just lets the good times roll, lets the chips fall where they may. But most of all this person usually has to watch all the above mentioned.
So to make this post a little more interesting, so that just maybe dont -2 and flame me.... what kind of drunk are you? Is there one that i might have missed?
User Reviews
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-08-05 19:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm a clumsy drunk. most drinks spilled in one night = 6
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2005-08-04 02:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:03:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a very silly drunk who sometimes winds up topless.
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Fancy a drink?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-31 02:02:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
RATING THE POSTER AND NOT THE POST
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-07-30 18:10:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"My uncle used to play with my naughty bits."
______________
This saved you from a rank less than or equal to 0.
Naughty bits, hahaha...
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-30 17:45:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Filthy, why does everybody always take me so damned seriously?
Don't you know that I love you with all of my shallow, blackened, empty, amnesiac little heart?
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-07-30 16:49:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-30 16:29:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Filthy, why are you always so angry?
===
Dude, giving a rubbish post a -1 does not constitute 'being angry'. If I was angry I would be throwing chairs, punching walls and shouting about god - not making thinly veiled references to people's tendancy to rate posters rather than posts.
There's a joke about wall decorations and fences in there somewhere, but I'm not going to be the one to make it.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-30 16:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Filthy, why are you always so angry?
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-07-30 13:03:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Was there a memo on +2ing horseshit that I missed?
This was barely coherent and of little interest to anybody who has had access to a pub in their lifetime.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-30 12:46:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pfffft
nigga please
hahahahahaa
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-30 12:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmm.. .pukey shoes...
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-07-30 08:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:18:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah riffs, you picked me up hitchhiking on the way ubercon michigan. of course you only picked my up cause i was in my daisy dukes and tube top. I felt so cheap.
____
That night I lost myself to ruby red lips, milky white skin, and baby blue eyes.
Name was Russell.
And I'm the not-drunk drunk. You know, the one who seems fine, and coherent, and reasonable... but refuses to drive anybody anywhere because they know they're slaughtered.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-07-30 07:44:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am the drunk that you don't know is drunk, because I'm smarter than everyone, and that includes the alcoho itself.
Hence, I am, as they say, an "expensive date".
It takes me approximately 13 drinks before I'm noticably buzzed, and I don't drink cheap liquor. I don't know why but for a little guy, I sure have a high tolerance for booze.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-30 02:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude. I want to fuck your face.
WTF?
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-07-30 02:33:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm a sleepy drunk. Boring I know, but if I have more than a couple beers I lose the buzz and get tired instead.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-07-30 00:35:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a happy drunk. Of course, that could be because the alcohol is interacting with all of my psyche Meds and making me silly. I have a tendency to stare at a girls chest for a little too long also (so I'm told)
Nefarious - I appreciate a man with a taste for Scotch. I prefer to add a bit of sours to it myself. Always the first drink of the night when I go out...
Submitted by Nefarious (user info) at 2005-07-30 00:25:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Depends what I'm drinking and who I'm with. If I'm drinking beer, I'm relaxed, mellow, content with the world. On scotch I am the most fascist man who ever lived. I would make Adolf Hitler look like The Wiggles. After the first couple of shots I become a cross between Mussolini, and the character from Dostoevsky's "Notes from underground". I am a sick man. I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I am rude to others, and take pleasure from being so. If I'm drinking scotch you'd better believe there are consequences. This morning I woke up holding a bottle of Glenfiddich and half of France. I am the scotch nazi.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-07-29 22:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
knuckles - we pretty much the same on the alcohol vs. pot thing.
I enjoy a good drunk from time to time.
I'm a drunk buddy drunk. When I'm drunk, we'll be pals man. We'll get in fights with people, drink till we puke and be the last ones up at the end of the night.
Yeah, I'm that kind of drunk.
I'm drunk tonight....buddy.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-07-29 22:32:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would, Mike, but I've got to work tomorrow. :( I'm saving up my "going out" time for tomorrow night.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-29 22:29:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well good night ladies and germs, I'll be at the Heidleberg in Ann Arbor, MI drinking ale watching all the mexicans passing through the bar for salsa night in the upstairs club. Any of you bitches feeling froggy? Come on down, i'll buy you a drink!
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-29 22:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahhh break time. Time to go chain smoke for 15 minutes.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-29 22:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dag nabbit corrine, i was hoping you say you were the easy drunk.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:58:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm an honest drunk... I just start telling people all of my secrets.
I'm also a flattering drunk... I tell people how great they are, etc... when really I think they suck.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha if you cant remember what kind of drunk you are, then you are a hard core drunk. The one that doesnt remember shit the next day.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah i was privy to your little tussle with toxic (i think thats who it was), as well as your little proposal to Mr. Manci for Mrs. manci
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:43:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not sure what I am. Hopefully a happy one. Hopefully. Ask Fabit.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:42:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i don't remember you being around for anything other than the epi-pen
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:41:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahh ah ah val, i got to see some of your more dramatic moments after you epi pen incident. Damn im slow today.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:38:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:24:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
wait... the time you were at the camping trip was when i was quiet in a chair being grumpy because i'd had to stab myself with an epi-pen.... how the FUCK was i interesting to you?
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:37:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nor did i understand your last remarks
touche
turtle
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:32:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
honey... i'm betting that when you're drunk... you're going to find some girl who just had an epi-pen and benadryl cocktail and find her to be amazingly stimulating.
i don't understand you.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:26:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think im getting cabin fever, 1 hour 20 minutes left. Damn that first beer will taste mighty fine.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cool then i can make an urbane sock puppet, and jerk off with it. Ahh i can feel them sock fibers now!!!!!
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:24:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wait... the time you were at the camping trip was when i was quiet in a chair being grumpy because i'd had to stab myself with an epi-pen.... how the FUCK was i interesting to you?
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:23:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
next time you're in boston, mike.... we're going sock shopping
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:19:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah right val, im sure you could even make sock shopping interesting.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah riffs, you picked me up hitchhiking on the way ubercon michigan. of course you only picked my up cause i was in my daisy dukes and tube top. I felt so cheap.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:08:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't I know you from somewhere, Sonic?
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:08:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...but don't take out the Lithium. That would be very, very ugly.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:07:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think you've really seen me just be me... uninfluenced by chemicals (or silly boredom that drives me to uber replying/posting).
I'm actually really fucking boring if you take out the booze, weed and hormones
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:04:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn val you got more personalites than i got tires on my car.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:03:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a very silly drunk who sometimes winds up topless.
I get really REALLY loud and I tend to mouth off at people.
Sometimes I get into fights.
...eventually i fall asleep in the front seat of my car with my legs hanging out the window. People then come up and take pictures of me.(well, that's how it happened on the camping trip)
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:03:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oops didnt mean to rate my own shit.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:03:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah i forgot the horny drunk. I know a couple of them. Those are the guys who end up with a chick in his bed the next day thinking "what the fuck was i thinking?"
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:01:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a happy & horny drunk.