I Love Abortion. Women Smell Like Vomit. I Try Too Hard To Get People To Repond. (1889 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.36 on 52 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (View user info) at 2005-07-31 15:04:56 EDT
I just woke up about twenty minutes ago. Here's how it is. I'm still wasted. You might ask how I can type, but the truth is that I am a robot. This is my brain: I'm here. How did this happen? Drunken. DRUNKEN FUCKING PATN.
I'M GETTING PHILOSOPHCIAL. I just really can't get beyond the thought process that opinions are fucking worthless and words only open the calvicade to lying and making up new words. I want someone to feel my pain!
I have a few points to make with this. This isn't supposed to be funny to you, I entertain myself all the time. I'm gorgeous, look at my pictures. Gorgasmotron. I had a black girl tell me that i'm handsome.
This is how my day has been. Wake up on the floor of some random house, drive home, get home, realize I could have killed myself, drink a beer, eat some chili spaghetti, and then say shit. Say shit all fucking day and just go with whatever phrases are the most confusing to you. I love my hair.
You don't think i'm drunk do you? You don't think i'm going to regret this right? RIGHT. Know why I like gun powder and pancakes? Because Sundays suck.
fuck you i'm done typing. I liked the funny. Someone please talk to me. Here's a picture to prove the seriousness of my genetics. I think i'm balding, and I need to shave. I wonder if i'm being sarcastic. I can't even tell anymore. God i'm so pretty. My mom has a canker sore. Pray for me.
I heard that two people died today in Alabama, Alabama. They got their tittes cut in half by a wild boar. Don't you think that abortion is wrong? I like skiing, music, trees, flowers, dirt, hair, jelly, fran drescher. Tell me about your mom getting covered in jelly during the 1982 Olympics in Madrid. I eat corpses. B@W.
On a serious note, I want to ask how did everyone decide that they were going to live past the age of 15? You guys are so fucking interesting that I must know every single stupid and inane fact about your boring lives. I might sound mean, but it's all love. I love you guys. Like a faggot loves men. I love you like that.
User Reviews
Submitted by minimumdino (user info) at 2006-01-10 18:21:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i love my full head of hair
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-05 05:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh, dude, you aren't a string player unless you use a bow regularly.
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-08-05 04:56:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As a fellow string musician I demand you cut the excess strings off your bass and guitar, so you don't look like a fool.
That is all.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-08-02 00:01:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We will have to look about that.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-08-01 08:13:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you want me
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-08-01 07:51:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your whole fishing for ratingsness...
dont know who you've got away with it, but i admire the style.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-01 07:06:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My translucent severed penis plays bass slightly worse than you.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-01 06:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I live in constant fear that one day I will look at Uber and find GLALL has had some sort of meltdown and killed himself or something. Never happen though. Uber will always sponser GLALL with all the JD, chicked wings and blow jobs he will ever need.
It better do anyway.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-08-01 01:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My translucent severed penis plays bass better than you.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-07-31 21:54:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-07-31 21:30:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're really funny in that nuclear power plant 'neon-flipper-baby' kind of way.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 20:08:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is going to be the best adoption day ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11eatingcrayonsisthesecrettoeternalyouth!!!!!!!!!!4
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-07-31 20:03:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if you're having a mexican, I WANT A PHILLIPINO, and he has to be entirely under MY instruction.
They can both hide in the cupboard under the stairs whenever my mum comes around.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 19:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You think we could handle it? I work all the time and you with your crazy schedule being a veterinarian and all.......I think we might need a Mexican guy to help out around the house.
I also want him to wear a jester outfit when he's with the children. I don't fucking care how he "feels" about it. I'll call your mom tomorrow and let her know beforehand, that crazy-ass racist wench is liable to kill a man with her tongue sometimes.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-07-31 19:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
good plan
one each would be best i think
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 19:33:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-07-31 19:25:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
at least i let them go the coathanger option, you PATRIARCHAL OPPRESSOR!
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Jesus christ shandy, you make me laugh like a piece of chicken. Let's adopt one of those slant-eyed kids.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-07-31 19:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
at least i let them go the coathanger option, you PATRIARCHAL OPPRESSOR!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 19:22:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Didn't you also tell me that your ovaries are deformed or something to that effect?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 19:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Really? You're talking to a guy that cums peanut butter, Vicious. You sure it wasn't shandy that creepy mask he has of my face? STOP TAKING MY LIFE, YOU BASTARD.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-31 19:13:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude.....
I'm pregnant.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-07-31 19:03:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
abortion is every woman's right!
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-07-31 19:01:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude...you keep confusing the shit out of me man.
First of all, you make no sense.
Secondly, you're drunk as hell.
Thirdly, I am retarded.
Secondly, you say "secondly" way too many times.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-31 18:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are well and truly on your way to being retarded.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-31 17:51:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have smoked yourself retarded.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 17:33:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks but no thanks, buddy. I used to actually try and write, but then I realized that my current situation with the alcoholism and crippling addiction to pot makes it harder each day to......think........spell..................................words.................
Seriously though, I've got a few pretty decent ideas floating around that are about 80% finished. My return to greatness will be glorified and I will get free pizza for the rest of my life.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-07-31 17:24:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are sick, perverted, and kinda cool. The undertone of your posts shows a bright guy. Write more.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-07-31 17:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Right on.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 17:20:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just make sure that you cover the floor in fruity pebbles, Swamps. Otherwise the milk gets confused and doesn't know where to go. When the milk sees the cereal it knows it's place.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-07-31 17:16:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just got some new roto toms and as luck would have it, a fresh gallon of vitamin D. FUCK YEAH!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 17:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's just what I needed: pirate endorsement. Dude, anyone want to fight me now? Sully has a blade that can slice cars in half.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 17:15:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Like, how? My mental health? I still need to shave. That's what you're talking about, right?
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2005-07-31 17:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love Manny.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-07-31 17:10:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I worry about you.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 17:08:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's what I call fucking rock and roll, man. Ever thought of doing the thing where you pour like a gallon of milk on your drums, and then you hit them and the milk goes everywhere? I tried it with my guitar once. Nothing is cooler than hitting the strings and seeing all that delicious vitamin d shooting off of them. Maybe a milk and glitter combo would be cool. BETTER YET, they need to make milk and glitter Combos, with maybe a dash of nacho cheese to spice things up.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-07-31 17:02:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One night after a bottle of Tequila, I played mine totally naked.
The next day I furiously wiped my stool with Clorox. At least my sticks didn't smell like ass.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 16:39:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude, swamps, or san diego if you will, I wish I could play the drums without my shirt. We should hang out and drink vodka with a urine chaser and listen to Metallica on my cassette player. I can still see my ass-print in the grass.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 16:37:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?user_id=3101
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-07-31 16:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You look somewhat like Lars Ulrich in that "Method is a Fag" pic.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 16:22:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Walking down Babylon Lane / Trying to live my life in peace / Two young men call me not their brother / try to make me feel ashamed / Chorus: But I luv I Jah yeah, he tell me not to be that way / I luv I Jah yeah, I gotta keep my P.M.A. / My lovely sister, judge me by my clothes, yeah / Only to learn to her mistake not everyone's alike / We're not all uptight / Ah no fuss no fight / Cool that way / Cool that way / Chorus / I luv I Jah / I luv I Jah.
Watch when I'm 50 and I still have hair, and I own a car dealership. We'll see who's penis is bigger. At least people think i'm a real person. I fart in your general direction, which is east I'm guessing.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-07-31 16:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-31 15:16:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep this +2 for the day when you are as bald as a fuckin egg, maybe it will make you feel better.
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Heheheh. I like Jack a little bit more every day.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 16:12:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and every time an angel get it's wings, my penis gets filled with jello pudding. I think i'm still drunk.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-07-31 16:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Every time a drunken man jacks off, an angel gets their wings.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 15:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude what? I have standards? Fucking hell. This was more of a satirical view on the stat of uber anyways. This is how it had to be. YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ONE DAY.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-31 15:49:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not anywhere near your usual stuff, man. You need to keep posting while you're still drinking.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-07-31 15:39:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's wrong with lying naked in the grass?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 15:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have an inner ear? Birth? Outdoors? Gorgasmotron is confused. On the upside, I'm not laying naked in the grass anymore. Seriously. I can still see my ass-print from the window.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-07-31 15:27:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Um GLALL......you need to get out more. +2 for the jumbled mass above. AND GO OUTSIDE!
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-07-31 15:26:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you, GuhLahl. Please grant me permission to impregnate your inner ear with my birthing spores.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 15:18:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks Jack. Other than the fact that I think you can be a pompous asshole, I respect you and your overall abilities as a human being. Let's never speak of this again.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-31 15:16:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep this +2 for the day when you are as bald as a fuckin egg, maybe it will make you feel better.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 15:11:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I fucked up the title. My life, is over. Why am I not outside right now?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-31 15:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OH I"M SO EVIL WHEN I HAVE A SLIGHT BUZZ GOING ON FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE