Double-Oh-Uber: The Secret Lives of Uberposters (985 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.5 on 44 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by mush (View user info) at 2005-08-01 16:02:34 EDT
I've always had a problem with the possibility of my Uberworld colliding with my physical world. This is something I've been thinking about for a while, and a prime example fell into my lap just now when I read http://www.ubersite.com/m/70501 by Envenom. Go read that story, and then come back. It won't take very long... Go ahead.
...
...
...
Ok, now there's a chance that everything he wrote is totally bogus. Fine. It's a funny story, and it entertained me. But if that story is true, there is no way he would ever want his girlfriend to read it. We all have our little uber regrets. There are plenty of times where I have written true shit thinking to myself "God, I hope [insert name] never reads this." A little while ago, one of my friends wrote a post that was very entertaining. Problem was that the story was true and involved the female cousin of a friend of his and some penises. The friend found the post on Uber, and things got awkward between them for a very long time. This kind of collision of worlds is an unavoidable risk that anyone runs when they post personal, real-life shit on the internet.
My problem is not so much with these collisions. My problem is that I don't want anyone I know in real life to ever see this shit at all. Family, friends, roommates, girlfriend -- none of them. Not just the offensive stuff like when I posted about having a big tittied girl ride me and decide to go get a few sausages from the kitchen: http://www.ubersite.com/m/69266. That stuff is bad enough, but even beyond that, I don't want to tell anyone in the real world about Ubersite. It's not that the stuff I write on here is somehow fake. I don't think that I betray myself by the stuff I write on Ubersite. Timmy is one of my best friends, and he'd probably back me up that I'm very much the same person whether you're in the room with me or whether we're separated by two computer screens. Nonetheless, I never want anyone I know to see the shit I write here. Is that weird?
What do you guys think?
User Reviews
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-08-02 10:23:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One of my good real-life friends is an uberuser...
In a way, it makes me think more before I post, so it's probably a good thing.
Submitted by mush (user info) at 2005-08-02 10:06:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-02 07:56:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Really?
I'm surprised by the number of people that agree with you.
My husband and sister read my stuff; they find me amusing, apparently.
A couple of my husband's friends read my crap sometimes. No-one else really knows about it, but I wouldn't mind if they stumbled across it.
I'm just me; the anecdotes I tell here are just like the ones I tell when we get together and have drinks, etc. I've always been the one who'll do anything for a few cheap laughs.
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That's kind of the point. Most of the shit on here I've said to people (political views, stories, etc...), but I still feel like I wouldnt want people to see it written down.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-08-02 09:36:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I only tell my friends and family about the posts with ratings over 1.5, that's safe enough.
A penis larger than 9"? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Wait, that's not funny for me...
Who makes more than 75K on their own? In my lifetime? Yeah, sure, no problem. Oh, you mean yearly...
Who has banged more than 30 women in thier lifetime? Well, I've had sex more than 30 times, no problem... BUt I only have 10 fingers, so do I count each one seperatly?
Who has an IQ of over 160? nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-08-02 08:56:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A penis larger than 9"? They call me travel size for a reason
Who makes more than 75K on their own? Well over halfway there.
Who has banged more than 30 women in thier lifetime? Maybe by the time I die. But I wouldn't count on it.
Who has an IQ of over 160? No clue. Kinda doubt it, though.
I have shown my mom MOST of my posts, before they go up. She doesn't know how to find me on here. She thinks I'm dangerously obsessed with emus. Thankfully, she doesn't know about that inflatable one in my closet.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-02 08:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-01 18:23:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't care. My family has read my stuff.
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you haven't written anything in two years
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-02 08:21:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-08-01 21:15:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:09:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
I got both my roommates into reading Uber too. One of them used to post under the name Robin Goodfellow/drankallmywine. The other only logs in to rate my posts. Her user name is KBCommando.
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I loved that guy - what happened to him?
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Robin Goodfellow, AKA my roommate A.S., kind of lost interest in Uber I guess. He still reads sometimes but he never posts anymore. He prefers Livejournal, if you can believe it.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-08-02 07:57:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-08-01 17:04:25 (#)
Ranking: 1
read my disclaimer: http://www.ubersite.com/m/51117
This website sucks, 95% of the people are fucking morons. (i.e smarter than me). Don't bother clicking the link. It was a post that I wrote and is therefore all about me and my impregnable forehead and will bore you to tears.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-02 07:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Really?
I'm surprised by the number of people that agree with you.
My husband and sister read my stuff; they find me amusing, apparently.
A couple of my husband's friends read my crap sometimes. No-one else really knows about it, but I wouldn't mind if they stumbled across it.
I'm just me; the anecdotes I tell here are just like the ones I tell when we get together and have drinks, etc. I've always been the one who'll do anything for a few cheap laughs.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-08-02 07:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've only posted a few times since my 3000 user signup, so I shouldn't have too much to worry about.
You'd think.
I mentioned my friend's band in a review and he must have googled it and found my comment. I have NO idea what I said, and he sort of gave me a funny look so I'm not sure it was good.
Stupid Google. I didn't think it was THAT refined!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-08-02 04:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-08-01 21:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:09:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
I got both my roommates into reading Uber too. One of them used to post under the name Robin Goodfellow/drankallmywine. The other only logs in to rate my posts. Her user name is KBCommando.
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I loved that guy - what happened to him?
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-08-01 19:59:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't posted in a asstime.
*laughs uncontrollably*
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-08-01 18:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A penis larger than 9"? Thank God NO. I'm rather attached to my vagina.
Who makes more than 75K on their own? I sure as hell don't. Must be nice. Props to the folks that do (IF it's legal).
Who has banged more than 30 women in thier lifetime? I'm also rather attached to my heterosexuality. Poon tang has never interested me.
Who has an IQ of over 160? IQ scores are controversial because a myriad of variables influence performance. Actually, IQ tests only reliably screen for retardation, not intelligence. I've taken various IQ scores over the years. Averaging out all the scores, I score approximately 127. Therefore, I'm only a half-wit, i.e. not a complete idiot.
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2005-08-01 18:42:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Wouldn't be so bad if Draqus and Kilean didn't keep telling people about the posts I make about masturbation...
Who has....
A penis larger than 9"?
Ha. I wish
Who makes more than 75K on their own?
I don't work
Who has banged more than 30 women in thier lifetime?
See number 1
Who has an IQ of over 160?
I *might* have this - it's a hundred and something, I know that :-p, and it may well be 160. I hope.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-08-01 18:39:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-08-01 17:04:25 (#)
Ranking: 1
read my disclaimer: http://www.ubersite.com/m/51117
This website sucks, 95% of the people are fucking morons. I've just about had enough..... but sometimes it's funny too. Especially my stuff.
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Well now, have we been doing our Stuart Smalley affirmations?
"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."
Geeze, the ego!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-01 18:23:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't care. My family has read my stuff.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-01 18:21:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:09:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
I got both my roommates into reading Uber too. One of them used to post under the name Robin Goodfellow/drankallmywine. The other only logs in to rate my posts. Her user name is KBCommando.
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get out!!! Robin was awesome! why don't they post anymore?
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-08-01 17:43:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
UBERPOLL:
Who has....
A penis larger than 9"? er... no
Not me.
Who makes more than 75K on their own? nope
Damn, I'm close.
Who has banged more than 30 women in thier lifetime? nope
Yes, but I'm 44. I've had lots of time.
Who has an IQ of over 160? nope
I have no idea.
I think if you are afraid of people seeing what you write, then you shouldn't write it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-08-01 17:30:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Join the club. This place is like a fucking porta-potty that hasn't been emptied for two months...near a construction site.
Shlongy will never let the retards "win" though. Fuck them.
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-08-01 17:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
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Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:50:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
this site is like crack.
i wish i never started it, but now that i'm here, i can't fucking STOP.
FUCK YOU BART FOR MAKING SUCH A DELICIOUS DRUG
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I know what you mean. I've been on this site constantly for so long now it's just started to piss me off. I think I am going to take a break from it for a while.
And yes, if anyone read my post about fucking a dead cat, I would be extremely embrassed.
Huh?
I've never written a post about fucking a dead cat?
WELL THEN IT'S TIME TO START WRITING ONE!
Just kidding, fuck this site. It's pissing me off.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-08-01 17:04:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
read my disclaimer: http://www.ubersite.com/m/51117
This website sucks, 95% of the people are fucking morons. I've just about had enough..... but sometimes it's funny too. Especially my stuff.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:50:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this site is like crack.
i wish i never started it, but now that i'm here, i can't fucking STOP.
FUCK YOU BART FOR MAKING SUCH A DELICIOUS DRUG
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I only show Mrs. Shlongy the stalker posts...so she knows who to look out for.
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:40:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually encourage people to to read the stuff I wrote. Usually.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:35:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow. i'd never want anyone i know about this.
i think i'd be more comfortable meeting people from uber than anyone i know reading my uber stuff.
you people have already seen most of my bad side.
most, but not all.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:34:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:17:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's a website, you're not supposed to tell the truth.
Watch this:
UBERPOLL:
Who has....
A penis larger than 9"? er... no
Who makes more than 75K on their own? nope
Who has banged more than 30 women in thier lifetime? nope
Who has an IQ of over 160? nope
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I get the point, I just wanted to make my own.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A penis larger than 9"? - Yeah right, I'm Irish!
Who makes more than 75K on their own? - No.
Who has banged more than 30 women in thier lifetime? - Well as long as the girls in Korea count (and I didn't pay for it)
Who has an IQ of over 160? - What's an IQ?
Submitted by mush (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:17:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
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You're kind of missing the point.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:17:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's a website, you're not supposed to tell the truth.
Watch this:
UBERPOLL:
Who has....
A penis larger than 9"?
Who makes more than 75K on their own?
Who has banged more than 30 women in thier lifetime?
Who has an IQ of over 160?
ect...
I'd bet you over 100% of this site would gladly tell you all the above are true, then debate it with you for the next hour.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:16:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't give a shit who reads my stuff. Except the one post I did about my dead grandmother. I would be upset if she read it, but since the afterlife has no intarweb connection (I hope) I don't really have to worry about that.
I have told my friends about this site, but not given the name. They think I'm weird enough already. I don't want them to know how very right they are.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:16:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i post shit so that some people i know will read it.
kind of a fuck you to the people i know who read my shit but pretend they don't.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:15:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah...when my buddy found that i was wicked upset. i really wished i hadn't posted it. now i just use some tact in deciding what to post.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:11:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
All the shit about my actual life is true, but I mostly post fiction anyhow.
If someone were to find my stuff, I'd actually find it amusing. I keep my life so sectioned and separated that a "spillover" occurs now and again.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:06:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's to not giving a fuck...
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Though I have yet to write anything about people I know, so it doesn't really matter either way.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:11:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm concerned that anyone at work finds this stuff since I make fun of them all in my post and rip on my stupid job. I also don't want any ex's to read since I write about them as well. Basically I don't want anyone I know to read anything from this site for fear they stumble on my shit.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:10:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I worry about this nonsense too. I am going to be visiting my girl in hoboken during the ubercon, so I want to go into the city to see some of you retards in real life, but that presents me with a dilemna. Do I want my girlfriend to meet you guys, do I want her to know about this site, can i ditch her for a few hours in a city I swear to hate? It is going to be interesting.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:09:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I send my dad links to funny Uber posts sometimes. He and I have the same sense of humor, so I know when I see something he would enjoy. I don't think he's registered as a user yet though. If so, he's under some deep cover.
I got both my roommates into reading Uber too. One of them used to post under the name Robin Goodfellow/drankallmywine. The other only logs in to rate my posts. Her user name is KBCommando.
Those are the only people I've told about my Uber addiction so far.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:07:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
I know when I go back to school I'm going to write about all the hilariousness that takes place when 6 girls live in one apartment. However, I never want ANY of them to find it or read it. I think I'll create a fake (tame) journal about them to throw them off.
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I can't wait for that series.
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:07:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know when I go back to school I'm going to write about all the hilariousness that takes place when 6 girls live in one apartment. However, I never want ANY of them to find it or read it. I think I'll create a fake (tame) journal about them to throw them off.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:06:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's to not giving a fuck...
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:06:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep...sometimes I feel that way too.
All my stories are true. But the fear of
telling a full truth that might come back
to haunt me.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:06:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Tell me about it.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually broke down and linked a post to my wife the other day, of course it was of my choosing and I didn't tell her how to find the rest of my stuff.