Quack Quack – Yea, I Rode a Duck (892 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.67 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by krissi (View user info) at 2005-08-01 16:38:31 EDT
I must say that this past weekend was the best weekend I've had since I went back to Jersey for summer vacation. I refuse to call Jersey home because Jersey sucks and I don't want to stay here very long. That said, maybe I had a great weekend because I wasn't in the Garden State. Instead, I was in New England.
I have officially decided I am a fan of whoever Tim chooses to call his friends because every single person I met this weekend was absolutely awesome.
A group of us had dinner in Providence at the Trinity Brewhouse which was awesome. I highly recommend it to anyone whoever has plans to visit the wonderful city that I love and live in. Then it was off to Wickenden Pub which had the largest glasses of beer that I have ever seen. Maybe I just don't get out enough, but 34 oz was pretty large to me. In mid-beer I convinced Jen that shots were incredibly necessary and we each had 2. Yum. I'm still not sure how I was still kind of sober by the end of the night.
At Wickenden Pub we saw a huge-mungous Great Dane... with even larger balls. There's nothing like throwing a huge glass of beer because there's a pony sized dog right behind your bar stool. Have I mentioned I'm afraid of dogs? Yea, waste of half a gigantic glass of beer if you ask me.
Saturday, we spent the day drinking. There was free wine to be chugged at the hotel, delicious beer at Boston Beer Works for lunch and our second dinner. More beer was to be had at Cask n' Flagon for dinner and after our second dinner drinks. Think I'm a lush yet? You should.
After hopping between Boston Beer Works and Cask n' Flagon for a few hours, we stayed in Cask n' Flagon and proceeded to run into what seemed like a thousand people to my drunk self that Tim just happened to know. I swear, the man knows everyone.
Highlights of Saturday night:
- Getting very angry at the scalpers for charging too much. I wanted to go to a damn baseball game. I think it's one of the only situations I haven't been able to flirt my way into getting exactly what I wanted.
- One of Tim's friends girlfriends and I decided that playing basketball was a wonderful idea for our intoxicated selves. We gave up on playing each other and tried to make it a joint effort to score. We're laughing and carrying on when this sketchy guy comes up to us and tells us that we should follow through. He tried to show me by touching my elbow which quickly pissed me off. I told him we were having just having fun and didn't really care. Besides, who expects to be good at basketball when they're drunk? And, why would you hit on us when our huge muscle-bound boyfriends are standing less than 5 feet away?
- Tim running out of the bathroom screaming something about how he told some guy in the bathroom that he had fucked his daughter. Details here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/72207
- Tim continuing to play basketball against his friend Ben although Ben kept beating him. Tim kept saying that he was off his game and that the next round he would do better. Ben was later beat by a girl. A girl who was VERY good at basketball.
- Tim passing out early. Again. Bored, I try to figure out what would wake him up from his drunken slumber - and I tried everything. Yes, everything. Turns out talking very loudly and shaking him violently is the only way to get him to wake up enough to just get under the covers.
Sunday, oh, here comes the part about me riding a duck. We took a Duck Tour which was so amazingly fun. The guy kept picking on Tim and it was great. He would ask him all sorts of engineering questions and then would give him advice on how to save money on coolers. Apparently, according to the driver, if you duck-tape a Styrofoam cooler, it keeps beverages cooler - which saves money that Tim should be spending on buying me flowers. This is all according to our very fun Boston tour guide.
We headed home early on Sunday because it was my mom's birthday. The car ride home was much longer than it should have been but was filled with Tim trying to inappropriately grope me while driving. We received odd stares from people as I laughingly fought him from groping my chest. After not being allowed to grab boobage, he goes for the cooch. After being denied that too (for just general automotive decency) he starts to just fiddle. I end up proclaiming things like "Would you PLEASE stop trying to finger-fuck my knee?" His replies usually ended up being something along the lines of "Tickle my balls, woman!" Needless to say, it was an entertaining trip.
I want to move to Boston, but I think I'm going to need a better job. There's no way I can keep affording to drink like this.
User Reviews
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-08-02 10:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-08-02 10:25:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think after one of my other uber posts, it's referred to in passing as 'California.'
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Does that mean that it is full of mexicans?
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HAHAHA!
No: http://www.ubersite.com/m/71627
HAHAHA. I appreciated that comment.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-08-02 10:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:43:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:41:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought "duck" was what you call Tim's squatty little knob.
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I think after one of my other uber posts, it's referred to in passing as 'California.'
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Does that mean that it is full of mexicans?
I was on one of the duck boats in Hot Springs one time, and the engine caught on fire in the middle of lake Catherine, pretty cool watching everybody jump into the water screaming.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-02 08:14:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-08-01 18:23:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-01 18:16:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like you. I think you guys are perfect together.
Now you MUST attend any and all ubercons from this day forward.
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As long as we're together, I most certainly will.
Warning: OktUBERcon will be the first time I'll see Tim in two weeks due to moving back to college in Providence on September 5th.
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thus the end of the relationship
well, maybe not but it's early tue and I'm still waking up
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-08-02 00:24:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Id like to hear more about the drive home, its ok Tim knows im a old perv hehehehe.
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-08-01 18:23:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-01 18:16:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like you. I think you guys are perfect together.
Now you MUST attend any and all ubercons from this day forward.
======================================
As long as we're together, I most certainly will.
Warning: OktUBERcon will be the first time I'll see Tim in two weeks due to moving back to college in Providence on September 5th.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-01 18:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like you. I think you guys are perfect together.
Now you MUST attend any and all ubercons from this day forward.
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-01 17:30:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yep
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:50:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
but krissi, what will we read on Mon's....
It's like crack, don't just give me a sample and then take it away
Monday's from now on are the Tim and Krissi show
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i was there!
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:44:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
I see whats happening here. Every Mon we get to hear about your awesome weekend with teh Timster. We get to hear how you appearently are horny only when Tim passes out. We get to hear how he tries to have some 'road' activity just to be shot down. This is a running journal that I expect to see every Mon.
Don't let us down!
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At least someone's around to chronicle the drunken antics he can't remember. :)
I'll aim for a Wednesday next time. Or I'll let a week or two pass before posting about him again to throw you off.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I see whats happening here. Every Mon we get to hear about your awesome weekend with teh Timster. We get to hear how you appearently are horny only when Tim passes out. We get to hear how he tries to have some 'road' activity just to be shot down. This is a running journal that I expect to see every Mon.
Don't let us down!
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:41:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought "duck" was what you call Tim's squatty little knob.
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I think after one of my other uber posts, it's referred to in passing as 'California.'
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:43:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
but then again, a friend of tim is a friend of mine.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:42:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I stopped reading after this:
"I refuse to call Jersey home because Jersey sucks....."
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:41:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought "duck" was what you call Tim's squatty little knob.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-08-01 16:39:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't I just read this story...?
It's ok. Still good.