What the fuck is so special about Maryland? (562 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 0.92 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HZRD (View user info) at 2005-08-02 13:55:50 EDT
I'm from New Jersey. Go ahead, hurl all of your insults, jokes and quips at me, I'm ready. I've heard them all:
"What exit you off? HAR HAR"
"Jesus, can you even swim at your beaches?"
"You must live in a shithole!"
"EW! Jersey? It fucking reeks!!!"
My comebacks, depending on my mood are "I'm not even off the Turnpike, dipshit - and yes, that's what you are referring to."
"Yes, I can swim at my beaches, and contrary to ten years ago, there is only two or three stretches of public beach you cannot swim at, unlike the 20-something in Maryland. Wait, aren't you from Ohio? Idiot."
"No, I grew up in an upper-middle class suburb that was a 30 minute drive from Manhattan."
"You obviously have never been anywhere but on or around the Turnpike, AKA I-95. Besides, did you hold your nose through Baltimore and the Virginia/Maryland border or what?! The shore reeks no matter where you are, princess."
You can tell that I understand a certain level of pride in your home state, even if it's kinda crappy. But, I'll probably never live in NJ again. I'd really like to see the rest of the country and the rest of the world.
----
I spent a lot of time getting to my point, didn't I? Anyway, when I was looking to move out of DC into a house in May, and I wanted the cheapest deal with the largest amount of people. Most of my friends around here live in Maryland and a lot of them want to move out of their parent's house. When I compared MD and Northern Virginia house rental prices, guess who came out on top, not only for rental prices, but insurance, gas prices and utilities? VA. In MD I would have had my choice of 3 shitty houses that were over an hour by public transport to my job. No basement, no study, no porch, not even a driveway.
I told my buddies about my decision to live in Virginia and the reaction from all of them went the exact same way: A look that might give me leprosy of I looked too long, followed by a smiling "Are you joking?" When I would reply "No." they would all basically tell me to go fuck myself. Huh, That seems sensible. I would ask why, and they would all reply "Virginia's all hicks, man! No WAY!"
That's anything but true. I live right outside DC, a ten minute drive. I have yet to meet a hick, let alone white trash (yes, there is a difference, anyone from the Northeast will tell you this). My roommate and I actually live in a really nice town with all the amenities. All of my buddies have been to my house now and agree it's pretty cool, but they still wouldn't want to live here. Why not? I'm a five minute walk to the train station and the Metro, right off I-95 and seconds away from route 1 that connects to 295 and 395 to DC.
Around the same time, my girlfriend actually was looking to live with me because her roommate was moving out. I said I was going to move to VA, and the same reaction. She also mentioned that she couldn't keep getting the in-state rate for UMD Grad School if she moved. I pointed out that she wasn't even in grad school yet (which kept me from oral sex for a month) and the fact that she didn't even have to register in VA as a resident because they never checked your parking tags on my street. She was still listed at her parent's place on her driver's license, despite having lived on her own in MD for two years. Also, it would be a shorter transit to work. Like a stubborn turtle, she didn't budge.
Now my girl and I are planning our first "you and me" type of beach vacation weekend. She said Ocean City, MD. Fine, I said check out the prices. The prices turn out to be HUGE. I mentioned Delaware, right up the coast. No. Virginia Beach? No. So I went and checked out prices in Virginia Beach. Cheap, with vacancies, what a fucking novel thing! Still no, her friends are going to be in Ocean City the same weekend! HOORAY! I calmly asked, without getting upset (even though the her-and-I thing was her idea) "Do they have a place for us to stay?"
"No, they are with their family and don't have room."
"Well have you found a reservation for us in Ocean City?"
"FUCK YOU!!!!!"
What the hell? Don't you people ever want to get away from Maryland? Don't you want to see what the rest of the country is like? Don't you want to save money? Experience culture? Trust me, Baltimore isn't that cool. Neither is Ocean City for the most part, I've been there many times. It's overcrowded, expensive and in no way relaxing.
Seriously, if you are from Maryland, I want to know what the damn deal is. Why the hate for NoVA? I mean, I don't hate Pennsylvania or Connecticut. Why is Ocean City so fucking cool? Why the love for the Terps? WHAAAT THE FUCK? I said I understood pride in your home state, but this is freakin' ridiculous. Really, I'd love to understand this retarded cultural phenomena.
User Reviews
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-08-03 16:23:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by alragusa (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:33:33 (#)
Ranking: 1
I am a New Yorker looking to move down to No VA with my future wife.
We love DC and (she having lived in MA) think Maryland is meh.
My brother swears by OC but then again, he likes Olive Garden (we are Italian).
BTW, Jersey is for HOMOS.
---------------------------------------------
BTW,
OH! FUHGEHDDABOUHTIT!!!
See you at the construction site, Vinnie. (An Italian constuction worker? In New York? Nooo, go on!)
Seriously, move to Arlington if you like the nightlife and have the money. The Olive Garden... ugh, I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-08-03 11:05:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Born and raised in Annapolis.
Maryland rules, if for no other reason, because it's the home of Old Bay.
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2005-08-03 10:48:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Lived here most my live and the best thing about MEHrland
is we still have a cool official state song calling for the
armed overthrow of the Yankee government(i.e. "the Northern Scum")
140 years after the Civil War ended.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-08-02 17:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have never heard of anyone acting like that here. I would not mind moving to a cheaper state either.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2005-08-02 17:08:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I haven't graduated Adam. Technically, I'm still a senior there.
Firefly and I met in college. I had my family earlier than I was expecting, and a 30 hour a week job as a computer programmer, so I went to the job full time and left school behind for now.
I'll graduate some day, but I'm not in any rush as I have a high paying job and years of experience that keep me secure should I ever need to go find another job.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:34:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The only thing I know about Maryland is that they lose to Clemson every year. Sorry Adam.
Submitted by alragusa (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:33:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I am a New Yorker looking to move down to No VA with my future wife.
We love DC and (she having lived in MA) think Maryland is meh.
My brother swears by OC but then again, he likes Olive Garden (we are Italian).
BTW, Jersey is for HOMOS.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:12:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
LETS GO TERPS!
Razor when did you graduate from UMD?
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-08-02 14:39:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where's your camaro?
--------------------------
I thought it was all IROC-Z's. But fuck yes, I own a bitchin Camaro (I ran over my neighbor).
EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-02 14:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait -
- Where's your camaro?
- What's up with those jughandles?
- Isnt all of NJ built on landfills?
- It 'Joisey'.
- Is your name Paulie or Nicky (those are the only 2 options)
sorry bout that, I live in Jersey too, these are some of what I have heard
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-02 14:37:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Americans are silly.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2005-08-02 14:33:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Adam, I didn't know we were both Terps.
Maryland rocks, we're just kind of overcrowded more than anything else... it's the fifth most populated state.
And I don't know what your friends problems are... nova is more like souther maryland than it is northern viriginia.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-08-02 14:23:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm not particularly fond of Jersey or Maryland. I have a lot of relatives in both states, and go there on business before you jump all over me saying that I've never been there.
Submitted by Lmarie22000 (user info) at 2005-08-02 14:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I lived in Carroll county MD from '01 to '04. My immediate family still lives there.
I now live in Colorado, work for an awesome ski resort, and have a blast living here.
And I completely understand the close-mindedness of Marylanders!!!!
They love Baltimore and O.C. They never want to leave. The love the Ravens.
Ok, I happen to like Baltimore. It's a fun town. I love it, actually. And Ocean City is the closest beach Marylanders have. Mind you, Delaware is only minutes away, I guess MD'ers just take pride in their overcrowded, fast paced, full of high school graduates beach. Whatever. I just like going there to get drunk.
Since I moved from MD last November, I've lived in beautiful Colorado in the Rocky mts. and in Whyoming in the Teton mts, which are amazing. My Maryland friends' replies: "What the fuck are the Tetons?"
"Where the hell is Whyoming?"
They're so close minded, stuck in Maryland. They couldn't help themselves if they tried.
I've tried to tell my friends, my sisters, anyone! Maryland is a black hole that you can't get out of. I've tried to get my sisters and friends to move out west with me...or just visit! They can't even do that.
My sister says "But I like it here (in boring little suburbia, getting drunk, and doing nothing)"
There are definitely better places to see and live. I know it.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-08-02 14:20:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
West Virginia trailer park???
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-08-02 14:17:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I agreed with you through all of this.
Ocean city sucks, but if you must attend make sure to go to Seacrets.
Thats why I left MD, it's just too meh.
-2 DIE DON'T EVER TALK ABOUT MY FUCKING TEAM LIKE THAT
PURA VIDA GO TERPS
CLASS 03'
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-02 14:07:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel some of your pain.
Terps blow.
So does Ocean city, but of course not as much as the jersey shore.