Holry Crawl! (520 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.25 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Heyzeus (View user info) at 2005-08-02 15:12:40 EDT
Man it's been a really long time since I've posted.
So to recap the past 150 day's of my life.
First, a squirrel, once again, attempted to assault me. If you read my other posts you'll know that this isn't the first time.
I was jogging in the woods by my house when I heard a snapping noise. I looked up and there above me was the screaming bucktoothed face of satan coming to devour my soul. falling from about fifty feet in the air, the bastard grazed my nose and landed right in front of me. He(I say 'he' because regardless of whether or not it had ovaries, one thing was for certain, this squirrel had BALLS) hit with a thud, and sent a cloud of dust into the air. When the dust cleared, the little devil got up and chattered it's rage at me, then took off. that's it.
Next I found out that I nocked up a chick, but there's only a fifty percent chance it belongs to me, because she was fucking some other dude while she was fucking me. Then I went and got tested...for everything...not fun. I'm still waiting for her to have the kid so I can find out if it belongs to me. I'd tell the whole story but there is entirely too much drama.
Then, God herself came down and told me I was a mistake and that she regretted ever thinking me into existence. I felt pretty bad after that, but the devil came up and we talked about it until that feeling went away.
Then my dog got liver cancer, and is currently dieing. Now he poops every where because of the medication.
Then this bitch asks me to testify in court for some stupid thing, and I say no. she doesn't need me anyways because she's got enough people to testify already, but because I said no she's all pissed off.
Now I will share with you my opinion on....things.
First off, there is entirely too many people on this planet, and it pisses me off more than anything that I'm contributing my horrible genes to adding another human on this planet. Seriously, there's like six billion humans, we don't need any more. start aborting your kids just for a little while until the population goes down a bit.
Now this guy come's up to me and says "Hey you better do the right thing, you better not be a dead beat dad."... Okay, first off I plan on taking care of this kid, because her family is a piece of shit. I don't trust them at all. Now granted I am a horrible person that holds no value to human life what so ever. This asshole has no right to assume I'm not going to do the things that society says I should do.
hfajksdhfjkwahuifhwqiufuihauiwhefuiwaihfahuifewahufiawiuhfuiaweufiuiwaehfuisjdcbnjseafuiweal....yea I said it...bitch.
User Reviews
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-08-02 22:55:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Not so very interesting.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-08-02 18:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Use spell checker next time and leave out the part about your opinions. Or put them in another post. This was all too confusing. Hope everything works out or something...
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2005-08-02 17:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Next I found out that I nocked up a chick, but there's only a fifty percent chance it belongs to me, because she was fucking some other dude while she was fucking me.
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Two guys at the same time, and you didn't notice? What, the Invisible Man in her pooper?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:18:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Next I found out that I nocked up a chick, but there's only a fifty percent chance it belongs to me, because she was fucking some other dude while she was fucking me.
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In a row?