A young Uberite goes Trick-or-Treating... (670 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.58 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Vulva (View user info) at 2005-08-02 15:35:13 EDT
I'm bored, I shall tell a joke.
A young boy is getting ready to go trick-or-treating on a cool, clear Halloween evening. He is especially excited this year, as his mother got him the absolute coolest pirate costume in the world. He trounces down the stairs from his bedroom, sword in hand, and exclaims "Lets go!"
He starts out on his voyage around the neighborhood in search of "the land of Snickers and popcorn balls!" As he cruises the streets, he would swear everyone, even the older kids, are in awe of his great costume. He is surely the class of the field this year.
First house, the expectations are high! "They will surely give me a million candy bars cause my pirate costume rocks so hard!" he says to himself. An older woman answers the door and proclaims "Oh a pirate!" "Awww, look at you, you have your little eye patch and a sword and a cute little parrot on your shoulder" she taunted while dropping (1)one travel size Kit-Kat in his pillowcase. "A goddamned TRAVEL SIZE! That Bitch!" he thinks to himself.
The woman kneels down to eye level with the child and condesendingly asks "You're a big mean pirate, but where are your little buccaneers?"
"They on my bucking head you cheap bitch!"
User Reviews
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-08-02 16:22:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm surprised this wasn't a picture of Shlongy.
So I stared at my asshole in the mirror and wasn't totally disappointed.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-08-02 16:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I actually LOVE Rudi Johnson. I mean that in the straightest way possible. Chris Perry is my worry spot.
I am hoping that the Bengals can once again have the best defensive draft class in NFL. 2 years of that, and we may have a respectable defense in a couple years.
Here's your +1, sweetiheart.
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-02 16:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
According to the rating laws of Uber, if you smile during any part of this, you are contractually obligated to +1 it...damnit!
HadToBeDone admittedly smiled and 0'd this. Therefore, I will take my +1, I am entitled to, and put it up myself.
God, I am bored...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-08-02 16:10:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Check out comicbookguy posts...they're always good for a laugh....nitty posts...sr or sg posts...one of those guys...1 out of every 30 Habeeb posts...
There's a bunch of peeps who make me laugh.
My posts work, too.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-02 16:10:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-08-02 16:07:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Cute
Shlongy likes to sit on park benches and slap women's asses as they walk by. Then he pretends he has Alzheimers so they don't prosecute.
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That's actually a brillant idea...
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-08-02 16:07:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cute
Shlongy likes to sit on park benches and slap women's asses as they walk by. Then he pretends he has Alzheimers so they don't prosecute.
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-02 16:07:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:51:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought it was cute...
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Cute = 0
I'll have to remember that dear! j/k - I liked it too, apparently we are alone here.
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-02 16:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-08-02 16:01:48 (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm surprised this wasn't somehow a picture of Shlongy.
Which would have been an improvement over THIS piece of crap.
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Damn dude, you're harsh! Smile much?
What makes the Shlongy laugh, seriously!
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-02 16:02:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:55:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Wanna get me tickets the Bengals/Steelers game, Vulva?
We have 2 8-8 seasons and the whole year's a sellout before trainning camp opens....
sigh
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We got you guys on December 4th. I do share season tickets with my boss through work. If the Steelers are somehow, god willing they won't be, a completely different team this year and are flat on their faces by this time..perhaps I will sell them. I don't forsee this happening though. I think it is going to be a tough division this year.
Seems to me you guys have the same issue we do! Running backs...
Deuce Staley and Rudy Johnson are not two names that provoke an instant boner in my Steeler sweatpants.
We shall see about the game though, no promises
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-08-02 16:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm surprised this wasn't somehow a picture of Shlongy.
Which would have been an improvement over THIS piece of crap.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:55:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wanna get me tickets the Bengals/Steelers game, Vulva?
We have 2 8-8 seasons and the whole year's a sellout before trainning camp opens....
sigh
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:51:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought it was cute...
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:43:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Just take a quick nap, you'll be better when you awake
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That sounds like a peach of a fuckin idea. Then when I wake it will be time for the Pirate game! No, no, no...the "real" Pirate game. I live in Pittsburgh see, and our baseball ....ahh fuck it...
g'night.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:43:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just take a quick nap, you'll be better when you awake
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:42:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, COME ON.
buccaneers..."fuckin ears"
buckin head..."fuckin head"
<squints and shrugs shoulders>
I thought that shit was funny...
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:40:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Last time I went anywhere on Halloween I dressed up as Death. I even went to an antique store and got an old, rusty, jagged scythe. Then I got a fake skull with a candle in it to hold and a little tray to hang around my neck with some dry ice in it.
Children were running away and leaving their bags of treats in the middle of the street. It rocked.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Worth a wry smile.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:37:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh....
what?
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-02 15:36:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You are right Vulva, you are bored