Straight Incorporated Part 4: Removal...by force if necessary (3500 hits)
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Rating: 1.96 on 65 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by badassmofo (View user info) at 2005-08-02 23:35:56 EDT
Author's Note: I know I said this would only be like 3 parts but as I wrote it it turned out I had more to say than I thought. I apologize for the length but I am trying to wrap this up.
-- -- -- --
Part 1 http://www.ubersite.com/m/70402
Part 2 http://www.ubersite.com/m/70459
Part 3 http://www.ubersite.com/m/71327
-- -- -- --
My time at Straight was unpleasant to say the least. I had been in fights, I had been beaten, choked, deprived of food, administered prescription sedatives, etcetera. But the hardest part, to go through and to think about was the loneliness, utter loneliness.
As a child or more a teenage child you go thru a rebellious phase. The underlying cause to rebellion is usually a cry out for attention, how nice would it be if someone just noticed. This ideal, I think, leads to a lot of the self esteem issues that kids have nowadays. You can say you are a rebel, you can be a 'badass' but at the core of it you're lonely and really don't know where the world is taking you.
This was where I was at before I moved to my dad's place, I thought somewhere in my head that moving to dad's would allow me to get more attention. With my mom focusing on work and my baby sister I thought the idea of me going would be best for all parties. Mom would get a bit of financial relief and I might get the attention I was looking for.
I couldn't have been more wrong, no one in my life has ever...ever loved me more than my mother. To this day and although it was deemed a noble decision, I have regrets for leaving my mothers house.
The loneliness in Straight is what really eventually began to break me down. I slipped slightly into depression and I even tried my hand at cutting. When my behavior became noticeable I was given Elavil which at this point would be an 'old school' antidepressant. I wouldn't find out until later in life that the 150mg a day dosage I was given was enough to sedate a full grown adult.
As depression set in and the drugs took over I became numb. I no longer wanted attention; I no longer wanted to be 'part' of anything. I wanted to curl up in the corner and be forgotten. The loneliness hand engulfed me and I was quickly fading into the shadows. I was at my bottom.
The attention that I had once received as some sort of 'badass' non complier had begun to fade also. No longer did I get called upon to be ridiculed or called out on my rude behavior, no I was just a snot nosed brat soon to be forgotten. Fighting had become my only release, I mean there was no way I would come out and share my 'feelings' with these people...how could I? Even the willing participants to fight began to dwindle. I was being looked upon as a hindrance in a room full of drug addicts and alcoholics. Irony?
I made a decision at one point to start working my own program. I had got this far in life being somewhat strong willed so there had to be someway to rally myself. I quit talking, I mean to everyone...fuck them...whatever I had to say was for me. Of course my self imposed muteness led to a few physical persuasion sessions but as I said I was concentrated on my own business and had become cold and used to the beatings.
When I reached what would be my last week I had no idea of what lay before me in the coming days.
Day 121, came as any other day; uneventful and par. I had made my lunch, been delivered to the building and settled into another ho hum day at the office. Around 10:30 I was sitting in one of the usual mental adventure groups. The lights were low and everyone was laying down on their backs, eyes closed and soaking in the story being laid for them.
I was approached by Wes Fager, then current President of our Straight chapter. Wes told me that I had a phone call I had to take. You'd be amazed at what 4 months of no phone can do to you. I didn't know how to take this news, part of me was thrilled that I would be getting a call, I mean so many questions, who was it, why are they calling? Then there was this part of me that never existed before Straight, this terrified subconscious that said 'hey you're not allowed to talk on the phone.' Where did this come from, I mean it was a phone call, was I that scared of the consequences?
I worked over it pretty quickly I mean I was a teenager and the phone was supposed to surgically attached to me from the hours of 6 pm to 10 pm. So I followed this man, this overlord into his office to accept my phone call.
*As a note, I am pretty bad at writing dialogue so the conversations will be told as a story instead.*
I picked up the phone is this office, in the middle of this strange building, in the middle of this state that I had no business in and no ties to...and I heard..."Jason, its your mom..."
I lost it, four months with no contact, hell I hadn't even spoken to anyone in a mont and the first voice I heard, the first inclination of home was my mom; the one I wanted to hear the most. For a solid 5 minutes I cried, she cried, we both cried. It was four months of pent up emotion, sadness, loneliness, and fear. And that was just her side.
My mom asked me no less than ten times if I was ok. She asked me if they had done anything to me and I paused...I looked at this man sitting across from me and contemplated what was going on here. If I were to say anything in his presence there would be repercussions. I said I was fine; nothing had happened to me.
You see my mother was truly my legal guardian, when I moved to my father's house it was by choice and we never did any actual paperwork. So my father had really no right to put in such a place.
The story I got from my mom later on, was that she had called looking for me. She called repeatedly only to be met with 'he's working, he's with his friends, he's here or there.' Four months she put up with this until my spineless father broke down and told her. That conversation happened on the same day my mom called me.
Once we had a bit of our crying and expressing with one another my mother asked to speak with Fager. From my end of the conversation I got that my mother told Mr. Fager that there would be someone here in short order to 'take her fucking son home.' I heard him say that without signature of the admitting parent there could be no release.
I began yelling to my mom to not let them keep me hear. I know in my heart that this was tearing her apart to hear but I had no choice, I could see light and my ass was making for it. My outburst was also in part meant for Mr. Fager; I wanted him to know that in no uncertain terms if they tried to keep me here they would have an all out battle on their hands...well at least as much as I could muster before restraint.
The phone call ended abruptly and Fager told me he was going to escort me back to group. Well of course I refused, I wanted answers...was I leaving, was someone coming, who was coming, when? My questions were ignored and although I got a shot or two in on Fager, I was no match for him and was placed in a room with 3 counselors, sequestered from the group and left.
The next hour or so seemed to drag on forever. I tried running for the door a few times only to be restrained and reseated. I was making no headway and began to slip into the thought that maybe all of what had happened that day was a dream, had the brainwashing bullshit finally broken me?
My melancholy was interrupted in a flash as the door slammed open. Standing there, defiant yet approachable as ever was my Uncle Wayne, all 6'5" 230 pounds of him. One of the counselors stood as if to stop the inevitable only to be told that he should sit his fucking ass back down or face making one of the biggest mistakes of his life.
I ran to my uncle and he picked me up and hugged me, I never in any day before or after that felt safer than I did at that moment. With tears in his eyes my uncle asked me was there anything I need to get before I left. Emphatically I said no and that I just wanted to be gone.
We walked out the door that day like warriors; I having served a long battle and my uncle having made short order of his. As we got in his truck I saw my uncle reach into his belt line a remove his pistol and place it under the seat.
Not until about ten years later would I really understand the gravity of my uncles acts that day. The conversation between my mother, my uncle, and my grandfather went something along the lines of my grandfather handing out orders reminiscent of his military days. My mother had asked for help she had no money to deal with this situation. My grandfather made a call to my uncle who just happened to live about 20 minutes away. My grandfathers specific orders to my mom were to pack and get to the airport, there would be ticket waiting for her to Texas. The order to my uncle, coming from granddad, 'Go get my grandson Wayne, I don't care what you have to do you don't fucking leave without him.'
I thanked my grandfather, years later and on his deathbed for what he had done for me, he simply said 'You're family Jason and family doesn't let stuff like that stand.' And then he rambled something about the day he saw my father again and the old man ass whooping he would lay on him.
Ok, this is long enough...one last part to come...my revelations in the coming years and my stance on drugs and rehabilitation centers coming from the adult and mature (yeah right) badassmofo.
User Reviews
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-12-19 13:00:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay I read it. If anyone comes up to my cube right now I wont be able to talk... So sad.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-12-19 12:51:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, I can't fucking read this. I'm at work and it's seriously making me want to cry. It'll have to wait until I get home.
Submitted by BlazinBull (user info) at 2007-10-20 18:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad you were able to tell such a touching story.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-20 17:06:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by crosschris (user info) at 2007-09-19 21:55:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well written, touching story. All power to you my friend.
Uber needs more substantial posts such as this.
Again well done, all the best.
Submitted by Mike-Mc (user info) at 2007-09-19 09:51:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 , Very good read - Sorry about what happend to you.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-04-18 17:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-29 22:49:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-19 03:44:16 (#)
Ranking: 1
There are a solid four pages of +2 streaks with 30 or more reviews. That is stupid. I am weeding it all out by giving every one of them a +1; that way posts that have 1.99 with 200+ reviews gets best ever.
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2005-12-21 07:01:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:31:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by w1ndsurfer (user info) at 2005-12-08 16:27:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm with Mike on this one. I just don't have the words... Heavy stuff.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-11-11 10:24:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was kinda hoping your uncle would beat the crap outta someone for the hell of it.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-11-11 10:09:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is fucking unreal. I don't think I have ever read anything like this.
I don't really have the words.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-19 03:44:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There are a solid four pages of +2 streaks with 30 or more reviews. That is stupid. I am weeding it all out by giving every one of them a +1; that way posts that have 1.99 with 200+ reviews gets best ever.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-08-18 06:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nearly missed this.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-08-14 02:48:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Am I alone in seeing the Irony of drugging up someone in a rehab center?
Great stuff.
-Dave
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-11 09:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-10 21:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
God...god are you there?
Ok well...if you can here me...you can take it down ok.
I can make formal apologies if need me.
God...d'ya hear me?
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-08-10 16:04:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The emotion drips from your words and drags us into the hell you experienced. It's an impressive feat in writing. The fact that you survived and became the man we now know and love, extraordinary.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-08-10 15:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-10 14:29:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by twentyseventy (user info) at 2005-08-07 03:14:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
how many people wanna kick some ass?
I do
I do
----
I am filled with rage right now.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-09 15:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best story on Uber
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-08-08 10:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent stuff
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-08-07 14:19:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by twentyseventy (user info) at 2005-08-07 03:14:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how many people wanna kick some ass?
I do
I do
Submitted by chemokenny (user info) at 2005-08-05 19:10:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-04 03:10:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bad ass mother fucker.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-03 23:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
d_prime you're worse than my fucking mother Gosh!
So far I have scrapped 4 stories and 8 pages of writing on this goddamn title.
Don't worry I'll have it in on time to win, it's all about timing. First you wiggle some bait out there and when they bite you set the hook.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-08-03 23:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was awesome.
You only have about two days, until Friday night at 9pm, to post your Round Two D-Prime Madness entry. Don't forfeit... like a wad... 'cause you're not a wad... I hope.
Titles have been up for a moderate amount of time.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/72049
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-08-03 23:14:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Reaver (user info) at 2005-08-03 22:57:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jason this has stirred up an emotional tidal wave within me. All 4 parts have. You are a stronger person than i will ever be.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-03 22:06:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lady Plural could you expand on your comment...please?
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-08-03 21:29:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-08-03 21:23:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was lucky.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-03 16:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks everyone for the reviews, I love feed back.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-03 16:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As depression set in and the drugs took over I became numb. I no longer wanted attention; I no longer wanted to be 'part' of anything. I wanted to curl up in the corner and be forgotten. The loneliness hand engulfed me and I was quickly fading into the shadows. I was at my bottom.
lithium did that to me
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-08-03 13:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuck . . .
I'm so fucking glad I told you to start posting.
This was, amazing.
(and yeah, it brought a tear (or tears) to my eye. Wanna make somethin' of it?)
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-08-03 12:51:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. just wow.
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-08-03 12:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy hell dude, You actually brought tears to my eyes at the end of this. . . No one has ever done that here. You fucking rock. If you ever feel like talking about it more, hit me up with an Email and we'll AIM it or something.
UberLechuga.at.Gmail.com
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-08-03 11:50:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God fuckin damn, that was great. Just great.
Too bad real life doesn't hand out more endings like that.
Your Grandad and uncle sound like pretty cool guys.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-03 11:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stop camping on your own post
jk, go ahead
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-03 10:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jay - you're talking about UberMadness (where I got bounced in the first round) and X and I are talking about the lesser known yet still fun DPRIME MADNESS.
Yeah, I'm not too fucked up but a bit, like everyone.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-08-03 10:36:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-03 09:55:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
X - don't worry we're 'dark horses' we'll see each other in the finals maybe
Jay - one more to come but it's really just thoughts on how this all has affected me later in life and how I feel about drugs and rehabs and the lot.
---------
1) You and X won't make the finals. It's gonna be me vs Stevie. We've been doing voodoo spells for like, days.
2) I don't care if it's just thoughts, this is good shit. Seriously fucked up, but good shit, none-the-less. And moreso, because it didn't fuck you up beyond repair, which says something about you.
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-08-03 10:25:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JEEEZOIS.
I'm going to read the other bits now...
::hugs::
Submitted by LaganGroup (user info) at 2005-08-03 10:16:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome finale.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-08-03 10:11:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Words fail me...
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-03 09:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
About time, I should -2 it for making us wait, but it was worth it.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-03 09:55:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
X - don't worry we're 'dark horses' we'll see each other in the finals maybe
Jay - one more to come but it's really just thoughts on how this all has affected me later in life and how I feel about drugs and rehabs and the lot.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-08-03 09:47:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There is more coming, right?
Please?
Seriously.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-08-03 09:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-03 09:04:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't feel so bad that I barely lost to you in the first round.
Good job
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-08-03 08:52:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-03 06:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-08-03 00:56:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
...I enjoy you. In a non-sexual way.
-- -- --
Well balls, I mean sexual is what I was going for with all this talk of me crying and getting beaten.
I'm kidding, thanks for the response, now get back to posting.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-03 05:46:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brought a tear to my eye.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-08-03 05:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-08-03 04:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
These storys are ace. You've had quite the exciting life but i dont envy you.
Good luck. Looking forward to part 5
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-08-03 01:17:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Respond! See Voo Play!!!
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-08-03 00:59:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're not really a noob anyway! Join forces with us semi-veterans and be royal SOBs!
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-08-03 00:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Siren, you know what I'm am sorry I was a dick on your "I'm leaving post" I apologize. I think you caught me on a day whn I was fed up to here with all the 'this place sucks' and 'the noobs are ruining it'. Sorry that I took it out on you. Truce?
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Truce. I didn't mean all noobs, I hope you know. Just the ones who are ridiculously stupid. Not you. I didn't mean to offend anyone who didn't deserve it. Besides, I expected a hail of -2s, as I've seen the results of "I'm leaving" posts before. I didn't mean to single you out. I enjoy you. In a non-sexual way.
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+2 for you and your post.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-08-03 00:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your uncle is the fucking man.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-08-03 00:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's what Family, and True Friends, are all about.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-02 23:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and don't worry D Prime - I'm almost done with my Madness story I just had to get this out first.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-08-02 23:48:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by egadz (user info) at 2005-08-02 23:46:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You've got a kick ass uncle.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-08-02 23:42:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment