I will be right here waiting for you (Fix-efied!) (695 hits)
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Submitted by Spidy (View user info) at 2005-08-03 00:49:46 EDT
"I will be right here waiting for you." That's what you said one year ago as you stood there watching me board my plane. The plane that will take me halfway across the world, lead me to a new career, friends and a new life. The plane that will eventually lead to our separation.
We were together for over three years. We went through more than we could handle. We took "breaks". But we always ended up back together. You'd show up at my door and without exchanging any words I'd hold you. I'd cry when you felt pain. I'd laugh when you were happy. You were my other half. Correction, you are my other half.
Than when everything fell into place, I was suddenly whisked away. I had to leave immediately. Halfway across the world, to a new life that I would hate because it was without you. I hated the situation. I hated the circumstance. I hated the consequences. I wanted to throw a tantrum. But than you would look at me, hold me, promise me. You told me that everything would be perfect when I got back. And I believed you. I believed everything you said. I still believe everything you tell me.
'She' was my best friend. I would give her my life. I loved her like she was my sister. When she was nervous, I was her backbone. When she was sad, I would stalk and beat the shit out of the fucker who hurt her. When she cried, I would rent cheesy chick-flicks; buy tissue boxes and junk food and crash with her. I trusted her.
I asked her to watch over you. I know you better than you think. You put up a wall with people. You once told me that you had many faces and that you showed people the type of person they wanted to see. But I know the real you. The person you are, the dreams you have, and the future you want. So I warned her, I told her to watch out for you. To support you as a friend should. A friend. Nothing more.
Seven months went by. I would call you night and day. I missed you more than you will ever know. You would cry. I would cry. But the love was always there. Than one night I was startled awake by a terrible nightmare: I was supposed to meet you and a group of mutual friends at a party. I had been running late and when I finally showed up, everyone looked grim. People apologized to me but no one would explain what was going on. Than she came toward me crying and apologizing. "It's all my fault", she said. "I should have been watching him. I should have known!" I became frantic. I searched for you. I began crying. Finally a solemn face pointed me toward a door. I rush in and there you are. Your drunk and you kept losing consciousness. You kept saying random things. "I love you. I always will. I'm sorry. You and I have a love that goes beyond this lifetime. Forgive me for I have made some terrible decisions. I don't deserve you. You're too good for me." I listened to you and realized that you needed help. You could barely stand on your own when she walked in. "Take care of him", I said, and rushed out to get help. When the ambulance arrived your mother was in the front seat, waving to bystanders like this was the Miss USA contest. And though I was mad at your mother, I was too worried to do anything at the time. I held your hand the entire way to the hospital. You were still incoherent. "...love you... don't worry... never forget... Yellow..." When you said 'Yellow', I began to cry uncontrollably. Our first kiss at the ice skating rink was when the DJ played Coldplays: Yellow. Our song. We arrive at the hospital and before they wheel you away, you ask me to bring your uncle to the hospital. As I walked across the balcony there were hundreds, maybe thousands, of people standing on the hospital lawn. They had candles and signs that said, "We will miss you." I was so confused. When I come back to your assigned room all your loved ones are sitting in the hall. "He wants to see you", I hear someone say. I open the door and walk toward you, trying not to cry. I wanted to be strong for you. I held you and told you how much I loved you and that I would never make it without you. I was selfish. I needed you. And as I held you in my arms, telling you that everything would be ok, you left me. I fell into shock. I couldn't cry. I couldn't talk. I couldn't even yell, though I wanted to. I walked out of your room, down the hall, across the lobby and out the hospital doors. It was raining outside and I began running.
I woke up crying. I wanted to e-mail and tell you what an odd nightmare I had but the electricity was cut because of a thunderstorm. So, I went back to sleep and made a mental note to email you that the next day. I woke up the next day to a phone call from my employer. My supposed one year move was cut short and I would be coming back home in two weeks! I was so excited to tell you but since I was already running late I decided to e-mail you from work. As Outlook Express downloaded my inbox I noticed a e-mail from you. The subject was "I'm Sorry." And I remember thinking how ironic that was because that was all you had said in the nightmare I had the night before. I had a bad feeling and as I read your e-mail the feeling was getting worse. You'd fallen into trouble. You missed me too much. The face that I wasn't able to physically be there, to hold you, was too much to handle. You were emotionally falling apart. You'd fallen in love with my best friend. You got suspended from scho--- Hold the fuck on! You'd fallen in love with my best friend!? My first email to you read two words. "Fuck you." I was so hurt, so confused. And after thinking it through I wrote you an email saying that I was sorry for not being there. I was honestly happy for you. I really did want you to be happy, no matter what. I wasn't mad at either of you. But the trust was gone. Though I didn't say it, we both knew it. I told you about my nightmare, about how I cried. In all that drama, I forgot to tell you that I was coming home. When I did, you were crushed. We had made it through so much. We were apart for so long that two weeks seemed like nothing. It was nothing.
You came to visit me the day I arrived. We both acted calm and collected. There was no tension between me and you or me and her. I accepted the truth of life.
But now I can hold it in no longer. I can't accept this so called truth. This is not the truth. You and me, we're the truth. We belong together. You're my other half. I need you to survive this lifetime and all others to come. Now, a year later, I call you to me. I want you to hold me like you did before. To talk to me like you used to. To love me like I know you do.
When you look at me, I see It there. That love. That pure, unconditional, innocent love. We will always have it. I will always love you. "I will be right here waiting for you."
User Reviews
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-08-03 12:09:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My best friend of 15 years slept with my girlfriend of seven years...
...I'm on anti-psychotics now
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-08-03 06:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Are you...are you quoting Richard Marx lyrics?
"Wherever you go...
Whatever you do...
I will be right here waiting for you...
Something something something
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you"
If so, that is ill advised.
I hope it works out between the two of you.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-03 06:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going to assume that this is a true story. You poor, poor, bastard. Your fucked, so is she. The guilt towards you will destroy her current relationship and you'll never be able to get over this emotional earthquake..
Still it's better to have loved and to have lost than to never love at all. You can get a t-shirt with that written on it whilst you sit alone in your apartment getting pissed waiting for your dealer to turn up with the skag.
Alternativly you can be a bitter arsehole for the next 10 years untill eventually your internal tensions get the better of you and you can break down good and proper. Abandoning the shallow wife and abhorent brats you have spawned to make up for your own self loathing.
Of course you can always try to soak the experience and remember that although you both made a bit of a mess of things what you felt was real and good. Thus allowing you to truly fall in love again and live a dream of bliss and joy.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-08-03 01:58:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You better kill that bitch.
Ahem. I mean best friend.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-08-03 01:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Those are some really big paragraphs.
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-08-03 01:12:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*cries emo tears*