The neverending story part 2 ( (1110 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.88 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kre8rix (View user info) at 2005-08-03 15:19:50 EDT
I apologize ahead of time, I had nothing and I'm in a bit of a hurry.
Original Idea: http://www.ubersite.com/m/72399
*************
"And so I said to him, 'Listen, I don't care how much you want it, I don't have any holes left!'" Bernice chortled, her high pitched cachinnation igniting raucous laughter from the small group that surrounded where she sat.
She wiped a tear from her eyes as she caught her breath.
"Ah," she sighed, "College."
The others nodded in agreement, their eyes never leaving her ample bosom. Bernice took a drink from her glass, but froze mid-sip. A quick glance revealed the source of the stench that gave her pause. Her eyes locked with the wild gaze of Bubba, who was staring at her intently.
"Is there something I can...do for you?" she sneered, her small band of groupies taking defensive positions in front of her as if to protect her from his odor.
"You're on my stool, bitch," He grunted in reply.
"Well, perhaps you should find another, and take a bath while you're at it,"
Bernice turned away from Bubba; redirecting her focus on deciding which three of the group would accompany her back to the ship, while their focus went back to her chest.
-----
Sam, the bartender, was sitting back watching the exchange out of the corner of his eye. He knew better than to give Bubba a hard time, but he was abnormally busy and didn't have time to intervene. He went back to serving his current patron when Bernice's small group turned away, thinking that it was done; but he should've known better.
A quick sideways glance told him that it was far from over.
-----
"Ignore me will ya," Bubba mumbled again to himself, reaching behind his back, "I'll learn ya to ignore me."
"Hey bitch!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.
Bernice turned toward the small malodorous man just in time to catch a hand full of shit to the face. She screamed as Bubba grabbed the back of her head and smeared fecal matter across her mouth and up her nose. He was grinding it in her hair as Sam and a couple other patrons pulled him off of her.
"GODDAMMIT BUBBA!" Sam yelled as he dragged him out the front door, "I told you; No more smearing shit on people in my bar!"
"She deserved it Sam!" Bubba retorted as he wiped his hands off on his pants, "She wanted to be in my stool, now she's in my stool!"
Sam couldn't help but laugh at Bubba's pun; and was pushed aside as Bernice's entourage walked her out the door.
"Well, I suppose your stool's free now. But for god sakes, wash your hands before you sit down."
Bubba smiled his half toothed smile at the group as they plodded down the street towards the harbor.
"Goddamn tourists,"
-------
Next up _________?
User Reviews
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2007-09-26 22:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, Comment.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-08-16 23:18:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is turning into quite the read.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-08-04 03:14:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hoped Sam washed his hands.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-08-04 00:14:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh, awesome dude. That was really funny.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-03 23:22:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why do i keep leaving zeros everywhere?
Ubermadness is fucking with my habits.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-03 23:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-03 21:43:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
this sucks. i have no imagination. i have read both posts 4 times trying to come
up with something but I cant.
<weeps>
you guys suck with all your talent and imaginations.
------------
Munkey, that's precisely the point in this, you don't have to 'come up with something' necessarily, you just start writing whatever comes out. You could drive the cruise ship off the edge of the world if you want. That's the beauty of it. ANYTHING can happen.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-03 21:43:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this sucks. i have no imagination. i have read both posts 4 times trying to come
up with something but I cant.
<weeps>
you guys suck with all your talent and imaginations.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-08-03 18:29:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read it, but if nobody else will do it, then I'll do a post tomorrow. Pick me as a last resort.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-03 16:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Come on! Someone has to be willing to write a short continuation to this!
We need volunteers!
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-08-03 16:56:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit smearing???
I didn't think that happened anymore...uuuhhh....or ever.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-08-03 16:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well I can't keep it going.
I'm only allowed to do it once.
It's on everyone else now.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-03 16:34:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
keep this going and maybe I can jump in. it might have to be the weekend though :(
good job!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-03 16:25:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit. ruined the perfect 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-03 16:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't see a problem with continuing tomorrow. As long as it continues. It should be easy to keep going because the entries aren't more than a few paragraphs.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-03 16:18:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It is rather dismal, like I said I'll write one tomrrow if no one else wants to. B Uber is slow today!
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-08-03 16:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is looking more and more like 'the end' to the neverending story...
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-03 16:02:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that's pretty funny shit. haha, see what I did there?
I'd participate but I couldn't do anything till tomorrow. time to get the hell out of here.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-03 15:31:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"GODDAMMIT BUBBA!" Sam yelled as he dragged him out the front door, "I told you; No more smearing shit on people in my bar!"
----------------
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
This is probably one of the greatest lines in all of literature! ....and that's not even the punchline!
Great job! This is going to be good.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-08-03 15:20:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll be back at work in an hour and choose the lucky successor.