Things I hate (23396 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.89 on 64 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kracka (View user info) at 2005-08-04 09:24:04 EDT
I really hate these things here. Camel Spiders. Not to mention I am not a big fan of any spider but these things get fucking huge. Now before some smart ass says "Kracka, camel spiders aren't even spiders they're members of the scorpion family", I say this "Fuck off. It's got like 8 legs....ok so it has 10 I think. But the fucker is still ugly and I don't like them. So far this deployment I haven't seen any real big fuckers. These things aren't cool. In Kuwait at night if you shined your flashlight on these bastards they would start running right at you. Now mind you these things have 10 legs and are fast. Not to mention the things are mean as fuck. They would fight cats. FUCKING CATS!!!!! Now I hate cats but for a FUCKING BUG to whoop the shit out of a CAT that is balls. Its that time if the week so this is going to be short but still look at the video. That is a fucking big lizard and this thing is showing off like "Look at me. I could eat this on the ground but you fuckers wouldn't know the true power of me so I will lift this bitch up and workout while I eat. Fuck with me fuckers and you die." Damn I hate spiders. And fuck off about the scorpion thing.
User Reviews
Submitted by CaptainObvious (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:43:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Um, I meant "hours", not hous. And rock, not rocks.
meh. -2 for me.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:36:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH MY FUCKING GOD...
Submitted by CaptainObvious (user info) at 2006-09-22 00:22:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The problem with these fucking things is they run *AT* you, not away from you. I guess during daylight hous, it's because they see your shadow on the ground, and they are looking for shade. It still freaks me out though. You can always tell when one is around- people are all clustered (but not closely) around an area, and inevitably some brave soul finds a big rocks, cocks arm back, hurls said rock at ground, misses camel spider, and everyone scatters because they suddenly all lose visual on the bastard and think *oh shit oh shit it's gonna come after ME now!!*
My ALS instructor would have taken 10 points off one of my reports for that run-on sentence. ALS was ghey.
I hate camel spiders, even though most of the ones I've seen were dried-up dead husks. It's hard to tell from a distance, and the slightest breeze makes the husk skitter across the ground, which is even freakier.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-02-13 02:24:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can handle insurgents. I can handle car bombs, shredded limbs, and dismembered bodies. I can handle gunshot wounds, trench foot, and really bad infections that shouldn't even be there if that fucker would have washed himself...
but camel spiders. I'm going to run out of grenades out there, because I'm not going for accuracy when that fucker is chasing me down.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-02-13 02:17:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
Submitted by Wrightcopy (user info) at 2005-08-07 22:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"In Kuwait at night if you shined your flashlight on these bastards they would start running right at you."
After reading this and seeing the gif, I had a dream that spiders were turning into the facehuggers from Alien and chased me. Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-08-07 21:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, that shit scares the fuck out of me.
Product of alien hybridization, I say.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-08-07 18:52:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.blueplanetbiomes.org/goliath_bird_eating_spider.htm
Spider fighting...my moneys on the camel.
Submitted by fallenangel (user info) at 2005-08-07 18:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:34:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit. *runs and hides*
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2005-08-07 18:26:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i've been told those spiders taste like dog.
Submitted by AlexorGM (user info) at 2005-08-07 18:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-08-06 18:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd be more scared of the spiders than the insurgents.
Submitted by TheGirlWithoutATitle (user info) at 2005-08-06 14:10:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-04 11:22:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok then.
The website also said there were some in western US as well.
-----
Shit, I'm moving.
See you in a few weeks.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-04 16:00:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What do you kill that thing with, a howitzer?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-04 14:19:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EW
EW
EW
EW
EW
EW
<BARFS>
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2005-08-04 13:55:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cual- if you want the video it is 4 meg. send an email to kracka.at.gmail.com i just turned a little of it to gif. it is about a min 10 sec long.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-08-04 12:35:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That is one scary ass spidery type thing.
-Dave
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-04 12:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm afraid to put my feet on the floor.
I'm sitting here crosslegged and it's late and I need to go to bed but Im too scared to put my feet on the floor because they'll get me
hatehatehatehatehate
I'll just play Hitman Contracts until I pass out on the keyboard.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-08-04 12:02:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
Submitted by jinhenkim (user info) at 2005-08-04 11:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thats a gay lizard, thats why the spider killed it.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-08-04 11:50:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-04 11:22:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok then.
The website also said there were some in western US as well.
===================
Yes, there are a couple species out in the deserts of the southwest. Southern California, Arizona, etc. They are much smaller, although there have been some cases of finding these particular ones here around camp pendleton... because they hitched a ride home in a cargo container.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2005-08-04 11:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you should collect a bunch of those fuckers and drop them on the enemy.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-04 11:22:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok then.
The website also said there were some in western US as well.
Submitted by Jay_Bassman (user info) at 2005-08-04 11:09:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-08-04 11:05:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:33:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
although:
THE FACTS
Most of these claims are false or greatly exaggerated.
1. Camel spiders top speed - 10 mph.
2. Size: Up to 6 inches
3. They have no venom.
4. They don't jump.
5. Called camel spiders because they live in the desert.
They actually aren't spiders at all, they're solpugids.
==========
Your .gif is probably a prank.
==================================================================
#1. Most people jog slower than 8mph. Unless you're in a flat out run, it's going faster than you.
#2 Bullshit. I've seen them larger than that.
#3 No venom, but a very corrosive, acidic saliva that burns like hell if they bite you.
#4 why jump when you can hide in someones combat boot at night?
The Gif is not a prank. That's quite real. We had a guy who used to run around with his K-bar knife and spear these fuckers.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That gif has made me an anacrophobic.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:33:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
although:
THE FACTS
Most of these claims are false or greatly exaggerated.
1. Camel spiders top speed - 10 mph.
2. Size: Up to 6 inches
3. They have no venom.
4. They don't jump.
5. Called camel spiders because they live in the desert.
They actually aren't spiders at all, they're solpugids.. Along with
==========
Your .gif is probably a prank.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:29:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
whoa
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like chocolate covered spiders
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lizard mayhaps..
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:25:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Chicken?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:25:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder what THEY taste like?
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:24:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love spiders.... I hate scorpions.
I am torn on this issue. Should I reach out and pet it or run away screaming?
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:19:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Could you squish it? How do you kill it? Fuck spiders, I flip out at the tiniest ones that are found crawling in my office.
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
*crawls into a corner, dials her therapist*
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:17:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice, ever step on one? You know those freaks eat them over there right?
By the way
Go vote----------------->http://www.ubersite.com/m/72445
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:17:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mother of god............... i want one.
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok, now I'm gonna have nightmares.
thanks.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:04:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would faint dead away if I saw that thing.
I'd rather face off against an angry bull on steroids than one of those.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:00:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
kracka, you have your gun.
you have the power...
GENOCIDE!!!!!!!!!!
ALLAH ALLAH JIHARD
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-08-04 10:00:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:34:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:27:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
you need to stop taking videos of those fuckers and start smooshing them immediately
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Smoosh? Fuck that! I wouldn't put any of my shit within ten feet of that mother fucker. The army gave Kracka a gun for a reason.
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I'm in your exact boat, except I'm not in the armed forces. I cringe and get itchy when I see bugs like that. I honestly don't give a fuck what kind of negative effect it would have on the global ecosystem or whatever, if I could exterminate them in one fell swoop, I'd do it. Them and those cockroaches and killer bees and all those assholes.
Hitler had the right idea, but the wrong species.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:59:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY POULTRY MALE WITH A SUPERIORITY COMPLEX!
*ahem*
I emailed you, Monty.
That is all.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:52:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck is it eating, an alligator??
Submitted by Jimmy_Esquire (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:51:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:50:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nature is evil. KILL THE PLANET, KILL THE PLANET
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:49:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
another +2 because i got chased by one bigger than a full sized plate.
And because now I can show some people what I scream about in the middle of the night.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:48:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had a serious phobia about spiders up until about ten years ago. I have no idea what triggered the fear to leave me but I no longer freak out when i see a spider.
I dont know if my mysterious courage would hold up if i saw one of those mofos running at me.
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:47:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG! <shits in pants>
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:45:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for camel spiders. Those things are the physical stuff nightmares are made of
Submitted by DamianD (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:41:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It only want's a hug.
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:38:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit that thing is fucking scary. I want to cry and hide.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Evil lookin' bastard...
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:27:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
you need to stop taking videos of those fuckers and start smooshing them immediately
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Smoosh? Fuck that! I wouldn't put any of my shit within ten feet of that mother fucker. The army gave Kracka a gun for a reason.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:34:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit. *runs and hides*
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:31:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck camel spiders, YA KNOW WHAT FUCK ALL SPIDERS, FUCK 'EM RIGHT IN THEIR GODDAM WEB SPINNING ASSES!
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:29:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus, I hate those things...
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:29:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone needs to declare jihad on those things
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, that sucks
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:28:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My friend had numerous stories about those things. Fucking nasty things.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:28:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you need to stop taking videos of those fuckers and start smooshing them immediately
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:27:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That thing looks friendly.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-08-04 09:26:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is similar to a post of mine. Thus, you get a +2....and a linkwhore
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68164