How it Feels to be Hunted. (2370 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.74 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by WiLL ZoNE (View user info) at 2005-08-04 16:16:03 EDT
At 7:15AM this morning I, your humble narrator, Mr. Will Zone, was prey. It was a clean hit. A solid kill. We traded gunfire for a few shots but as the second assassin crept up behind me, it was all over. I was drenched. Dead.
"Will, Um, What the fuck are you talking about? You're typing so you must not be dead." asks Dr. Literal.
Well, Doc, for the past week I've been involved in a competition known as Street Wars. According to the website Street Wars is "A round-robin, all city, 24/7 water-gun assassination tournament."
Oh, but it's so much more. It's life. Death. Hunter. Prey. Check out the website: http://www.streetwars.net/about.html
Pretty much the goal of the game is to shoot your target with a water gun, thus killing them. There are 130 or so people playing and the winner/last-one-dry gets a cash prize. You win when you kill the target that has your information. When I joined I had to give "The Shadow Government" my personal details (name, home address, work address, phone numbers and email address.)
So last Friday night I pick up my Assassination Dossier. I follow my pick up instructions and head to the Black GMC Envoy that's parked on a shady, stinky street in lower Manhattan. I knock on the door and the window opens. Seated in the Driver and Passenger side are two young gentlemen in Suits and shades.
"What's your name?"
"Will Nunziata."
"ID, please."
I check out and they hand me the folder of info. The game begins on Monday August 1st. My target is a young and cute Upper Westside girl. I decide to attempt a kill on Monday, when she's leaving work. I hang out at her building for 2 hours, and there is no sign of her anywhere. The building and square block where you work is a safe zone, as well as subways, buses, and bus stops.
Being bored and stalking for over an hour now, I decide to call my target.
"Hello, XXXXXX?"
"Yes."
"I was wondering what time you're getting off work?"
"Why? Who is this?"
"Oh, I'm the guy who is gonna drench you with a water gun."
[click.]
I can't find her, and later that night I get word from the Shadow Gov't that she quit the game. I have to get a new target. I musta scared her.
Now, the hunting and stalking part of the game is fun. The being hunted part is something else entirely. Every morning when I leave my apartment, I scout the street from my window, water balloon in hand. You can't "kill" your assassin, but if you get them before they get you, then they can't kill you for 24 hours. 24 hours of safety, that's it. So every morning there I am, gun and balloons in hand scoping the block for would-be assassins. I go to the front door, look out the window, crack open the door, and if the coast is clear I walk down the street with caution.
The paranoia is insane. The city is full of people, and it's scary not knowing if one of them, is gonna drench you and knock you out of the game. I walked, constantly looking over my shoulder, gun nearby in a plastic bag.
Monday: No attempts on my life, but everyone is a suspect.
Tuesday: This is the day I figured to get killed. I had a show in Manhattan and I figured if my killer googled me they'd find out the details and shoot me while on stage or as we exited. I was surprised that I wasn't blasted.
Wednesday: Nothing.
Which brings us to today. Thursday. At 0715 hours this fine sunny morning a male and female assassin team accosted me and left me drenched. I left my apartment, water pistol in bag and headed towards work. I noticed a 20-something male sitting on the porch steps next door to me on a cell phone. This guy doesn't live there...and it's too early to be a stranger, or a guy just taking a break on a stoop. Immediately I crossed the street knowing full well that he was out to get me. While behind a car and walking towards the subway I took out my gun and prepared to fire. The second I saw his gun, he started crossing the street towards me. I took off back towards the apartment and my cigarette fell from my lips. It was no use. He had the angle on me. I had no choice but to do an over-the-car shootout. We traded shots over the car, and as I took off towards the subway I suffered a kill shot to my upper body. At that moment of drenching I noticed the female assassin creeping up behind me. She had black hair which was later discovered to be a wig. There was no need to wear a wig, since I had no idea what she was gonna look like, but I totally respected the undercover costume.
My killers couldn't be more nice. We exchanged pleasantries, said our goodbyes, and I walked to the subway wet, embarrassed, and a street wars loser. On the way to the train I passed a garbage can and tossed my gun away.
When I got to the office, an email from the Shadow Government was waiting in my email...it was my next Targets information. Sadly, I'm dead and I can't do shit.
Next year, all you bitches are mine.
Oh Uber, Squirt, squirt, squirt.
Will
User Reviews
Submitted by viciousthawts (user info) at 2006-02-10 01:36:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That has to be the coolest idea I have ever read. That is pimpin. I hope they bring it to Chicago.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-08-09 20:45:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a game I need to be part of.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2005-08-08 13:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is the killers account of my death (from the streetwars website):
Operation "Up At the Crack" was executed with crackerjack timing and precision this morning. While both agents' loyalty was tested in rising at the designated assault hour, our desire to kill people finally overcame the desire to sleep in, and we assembled our gear and cover. Agent Krazy 8, sporting a Hollywood-caliber disguise, coordinated transportation to the target destination. Full reconnaissance was done upon arrival, and Agents Krazy 8 and JAM deployed on either side of the only practical exit from the Target's residence. There was initial concern that the car with engine running and waiting driver right outside the residence was an armed escort; this concern abated, however, when it turned out to be Brooklyn Dad Driving Kid to School.
We had waited no longer than 5 minutes when the Target appeared, exiting the residence on his casual commute to work BUT with a suspicious-looking plastic bag in his hand. Krazy 8 confirmed the positive ID via wireless, and JAM quickly broke communications to approach the quarry on an intercept angle.
Unfortunately, in the deserted morning streets of Williamsburg, there is no rational reason why two people should eye each other warily, both holding plastic bags. The Target promptly recognized the situation and drew out his defensive weapon. With a shout of "Morning, Friend!" and a preliminary salvo that fell short, he took cover behind a Toyota Camry. Aimless shots by both JAM and the Target, crouching on opposite sides of the car, led to a brief stand-off. However, the approach of Krazy 8 on the Target's weak side forced him to retreat, leading to a footrace that ended in the kill shot, square in the back. A good-natured victim cursed his own demise and applauded the early-rise initiative.
A warning: Team Ninja is everywhere.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-08-05 09:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2005-08-05 08:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Dear BLOG -
Today I am posting because I have not posted in quite a while. I made sure to let everyone know my full last name in this post, as well as the fact that I can be "googled".
Will * YAWN * Zone "
Awesome dude...Snap! You Totally Zinged me. Oh man! LOL ROTFL! Har-Har.
douche.
-will
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-08-05 05:44:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That is awesome. I love stuff like that. Reminds me of capture the flag and jailbreak. Anyone want to play?
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-08-05 05:04:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's fucking awesome.
I wonder if the authorities would mind terribly if we were to do this using paintball guns?
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-08-04 23:23:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That is so damn cool...
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-04 23:11:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey you
Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-08-04 19:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about PlaguedByMurphy
User id: 16723
Registered on or around: 2005-02-23 18:50:53
# Messages posted: 7
# Reviews written: 107
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 108
# Hits: 2640
Average rating of all messages: 0.88 """
awwwww poor little cunt
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-04 19:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PlaguedByMurphy (user info) at 2005-08-04 18:11:28 (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear BLOG -
Today I am posting because I have not psted in quite a while. I made sure to let everyone know my full last name in this post, as well as the fact that I can be "googled".
Will * YAWN * Zone
----
Who is WillZone?
Submitted by PlaguedByMurphy (user info) at 2005-08-04 18:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear BLOG -
Today I am posting because I have not psted in quite a while. I made sure to let everyone know my full last name in this post, as well as the fact that I can be "googled".
Will * YAWN * Zone
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2005-08-04 17:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have got to get into one of these.
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-08-04 17:38:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This has been going on at my university for a couple of years now. It is insane. The paranoia and the risks people go through to not only get one another, but one-up what another person did on campus. I'm talking about hiding in people's dorm rooms, in the ceiling, during lectures, even during sporting events. Fun stuff, but it totally consumes your time.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-08-04 17:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2005-08-04 16:44:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-08-04 16:21:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
That is perhaps the coolest idea I have ever, ever read.
I am so going to start one up in Liverpool.
Chances are that it would end up with real guns though.
How's tricks Will?
(I am the fat headed englishman who used to go by the name of a greek god btw) "
if you want to start it up in Liverpool, be sure to email the Street Wars guys and get approval and maybe some advice.
===========================
I had a friend take part in the Vancouver one. I'm hoping to get in on it the next time it comes around.
This is the third one in NY and there was another in Vancouver.
==================================
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2005-08-04 16:44:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-08-04 16:21:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
That is perhaps the coolest idea I have ever, ever read.
I am so going to start one up in Liverpool.
Chances are that it would end up with real guns though.
How's tricks Will?
(I am the fat headed englishman who used to go by the name of a greek god btw) "
if you want to start it up in Liverpool, be sure to email the Street Wars guys and get approval and maybe some advice.
This is the third one in NY and there was another in Vancouver.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-04 16:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-04 16:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-04 16:43:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I did this when I was in high school. Nearly all of the 60 people that played new each other which I think only added to it cause the friends you're hanging out with could be your killer. We had to have two additional safe spots since we all hung out together but that also added to the entertainment factor.
I made it to the end. I left notes, and stalked my targets. I ended up being killed by the winner while I was at work in wendy's.
Knowing full well they had this information I had fashinoned a holster for my dart gun to hide under my apron. I expected it to come from the drive through but I was prepared. I was walking out to the smoking are to clean up or something. I saw two elderly people walking toward me. As I neared I saw the other two behind them understanding crashed in and I drew my gun from beneath my belt. I fired over the heads of the oldsters just as my oponent fired. I was hit squarely in the chest but alas my dart went wide. I congratulated the winner and was subsequently written up. One of the most entertaining things I've done.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-08-04 16:30:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know I thought this was Bullshit until I checked out the site.
This is possibly the greatest idea ever.
-Dave
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-08-04 16:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"For a job like this, we should have shotguns."
...or at least a super-soaker.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-08-04 16:24:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Definitely cool, but I don't know about giving personal info out to strangers.....
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-08-04 16:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that rocks
Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-08-04 16:21:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That is perhaps the coolest idea I have ever, ever read.
I am so going to start one up in Liverpool.
Chances are that it would end up with real guns though.
How's tricks Will?
(I am the fat headed englishman who used to go by the name of a greek god btw)
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-08-04 16:20:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was on CNN on Monday. Cool shit. Too hard to do out here, though. Too spread out.