Coffee Shop - (For Circe) (700 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.07 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rawrg the Wise and All-Knowing (View user info) at 2005-08-04 17:12:43 EDT
More than likely, this should have been labeled SPT, but since Circe was feeling upset about all the SPT posts of late, I went ahead and finished this little gem. If you're looking for a plot, go read a published author, otherwise, relax and enjoy.
(Two men, BARRY and JIM are sitting in a coffee shop on a tuesday night, there is a constant hum in the air as the two men talk)
BARRY: "I went to the strip club the other night. I don't go that often, but Cynthia was going away and she wanted to hit the club with us before she left for Springfield. You ever go to the strip clubs much?"
JIM: "I've been two or three times."
BARRY: "Yeah, well, you know how they start making small talk trying to make you feel obligated to pay them for your time with a lap dance? Well, I'm sitting there in between songs, killing time and she starts to ask me about my job, so I tell her. It even takes me a couple of minutes before I realize that I just drove 30 minutes and paid a 20 dollar cover to end up talking to a stripper about the thing I think about when I'm trying to hold back an orgasm."
JIM: "Ha!"
BARRY: "So now that I've thoroughly killed the mood, I turn to her and I ask her, 'What's the worst part of your job?' I figure it'll be something like men grabbing her ass, or people she knows recognizing her. You know what she said? 'Oh, the traffic here sucks.' So then she asks me what the worst part of my job. I told her, 'Today I had to take a 5 year old to the hospital and half way there I had to tell her that she wasn't going to be able to go back home because her parents would rather send her to the hospital than deal with her problems.' She gave me this horrified stare and then I told her that the traffic was horrible most days also and then I paid her for a lap dance."
JIM: "Why do some people have kids, right?"
BARRY: "No shit. I mean, you know me, I'm all for civil rights, but if I could find a way to force people to earn a license through any kind of credentials to become a parent, I would. It's truly sad what some people do to there kids. Tuesday I get a 200 lb 15 year old that raped one of his teachers."
JIM: "Hey, I just thought of something. You said you thought about work just a minute ago during sex to hold back an orgasm. Doesn't that technically mean that you're thinking of little kids while you're having sex?"
BARRY: "Shut the fuck up."
JIM: "...or is it more contextual? Like some Dad's getting ready to go to town on his step son with an appliance cord?"
BARRY: "It's a shame that after I'm forced to kill you for the good of humanity, in doing so I will have reserved my own place in hell, probably within speaking distance of you."
JIM: "A fifteen year old homosexual rapist eh?"
BARRY: "He's not homosexual. It was about power."
JIM: "Semantics. It's a sexual act with another man. If he got it up, he's at least bisexual, which makes him heterosexual and homosexual."
BARRY: "He beat the man with a stapler, slung him over his desk and shoved it up his ass Jim. You don't need an erection to ram a stapler into someone's ass."
JIM: "Jesus... Why don't we just kill people like that?"
BARRY: "Don't be so quick to judge him, he was probably raped and beaten as a little kid..."
JIM: "I don't see that as an excuse. That's just like saying that because I didn't get everything I wanted when I was a kid means that when I'm tempted to steal I shouldn't be blamed for acting on it."
BARRY: "Getting raped is a traumatic event in your life, not getting what you want is much different."
JIM: "Still, trauma or no trauma, that teacher's going to be shitting staples for a month all because that kid is dangerous and can't control himself."
BARRY: "So what do you want to do, kill him?"
JIM: "Why not?"
BARRY: "I don't know, because human life has value?"
JIM: "That life holds no value to me. He is a broken unit. Best remove him from society before he hurts someone and creates more broken units. White blood cells don't cry for the bacteria they kill."
BARRY: "So because he holds no value to society he should be killed?"
JIM: "Because he is and always will be a detriment. How many of these people are ever fixed?"
BARRY: "A good number can be taught to cope with there problems. You should see the turnaround rate at my office of these kids down at SRS."
JIM: "How many? Give me a number. There has to have been a study by now."
BARRY: "It depends on what groups your monitoring, and frankly I don't know. I don't have any figures. Besides, it's completely subjective as to whether or not these people are cured in the first place."
JIM: "Exactly. There are no figures because no one gets fixed. It's all bullshit and they know it. Your job exists to make people feel better about society because we appear more merciful this way. Meanwhile we slaughter millions in wars that no one seems to give a damn about, and why? Because life has no value to other human beings other than a feeling of guilt because if it were you or someone you cared about, it might effect you then. Guilt on principle is something I'll never understand about most people."
BARRY: "Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you."
JIM: "Yeah, well, the Golden Rule doesn't apply when people are out raping teachers and setting off bombs in public. Society is so soft on this stuff. Spineless people who are too concerned with civil rights to give a damn about their own safety because 1984 has them so scared that if we give society the power to at least make an effective attempt to remove the criminal elements, that we'll be chopping off hands for stealing apples and the police will be judge, jury and executioner."
BARRY: "I'll agree that the system is flawed, but death is permanent. If the system makes a mistake, they can't simply let the guy out of jail when he's dead."
JIM: "Well prisons aren't really fixing the problems, once they get out, they'll be as much a parasite to society as they were before."
BARRY: "They tried to fix criminals once. Early in the 80's into the 90's we had the reform era of law enforcement. They tried turning prison's into schools that would train people how to make it on the outside. Work programs, in house education, boot camp programs..."
JIM: "Yeah, like in that movie, First Time Felon with Omar Epps, the boot camp program. You see, that's what those street punks, thugs, gangsters and the like need. They need a little humility to set them straight. They're too busy trying to hold up a strong façade that they don't have time to develop a strong character to fill themselves out with. Those places tear down those illusions of being a bad ass and rebuild them as new people."
BARRY: "Actually, they did have a really high success rate, but there was a problem. You see, while the prisoners had a really high turn around rate at the boot camp and were less prone to violence and more prone to cooperation with peers, as soon as they left that structured lifestyle, they fell apart again. No one wants to hire ex-cons and when they get back, they normally find old hookups and are back doing whatever it was they did to get in. Only in rare cases do the boot camps actually change lives. Eventually the reform era ended and now we have the containment era where the purpose of prisons is now to warehouse prisoners until they're sentence is up."
JIM: "See, if I were king, I'd exile offenders to prison colonies that were completely self-sufficient. No more wasted tax dollars. They would produce something, maybe have them pump oil or mine or grow crops, whatever. After they sell their product, they pay the overseers in the form of taxes and still save up an income. With today's technology, they could all be kept track of by GPS anklets and if one of them left, the overseer's would track them down. They would live in separate dwellings that they all built and paid to furnish with what little money they made. In essence, it would offer a humane way of rehabilitating people in an environment away from society so that they couldn't hurt innocent civilians."
BARRY: "What happens when they kill someone in the colony or start up a drug trade?"
JIM: "Shoot them."
BARRY: "Oh, that's rational. Let's shoot someone for dealing drugs."
JIM: "No more second chances, too many and they never learn."
BARRY: "Death hasn't been shown to be an effective deterrent, in studies done, they've shown that states with the death penalty don't have any significantly lower murder rates."
JIM: "I don't care if it deters them from the initial act, all I know is that it will deter all future ones by the dead guy. Eliminate the problem, plain and simple."
BARRY: "So then let's say some prisoner has a beef and decides to plant some drugs on another one, then what?"
JIM: "I don't know. Collateral damage I suppose."
BARRY: "So someone who might be innocent in one of your prisons could be shot because some gangster with a grudge decides to plant a meth stash on him?"
JIM: "Come on, let's talk realities here. First of all, we'd have to make it so that no drugs ever got in the colony in the first place. Monitor the grounds every night with infra red and patrol dogs to make sure no one gets by. Put it in the middle of nowhere and eliminate all forms of currency in the prison so that they can't trade to outside sources. Make it virtually impenetrable and the penalties for acting out paramount."
BARRY: "Ah, they'd never go for it, and you know it. It's too far fetched."
JIM: "Why? Because it might actually work?"
BARRY: "You'd have monstrous expenses to start this pet project, so you'd have to practically sleep with a congressman to get what you wanted to start. This has never been done before, neither."
JIM: "Look, I'm not stupid. I know it could never happen, but..."
BARRY: "But what? Idealism is bullshit when it comes right down to it. There are a million things that our country woulda coulda shoulda done in the past to be the ideal of today, but the fact is that we should be focusing our efforts on small changes that can be made."
JIM: "That's the attitude that losing us this country."
BARRY: "No, that's the attitude that's going to save it."
JIM: "Maybe so, but it's probably only going to delay the inevitable."
BARRY: "What's inevitable?"
JIM: "Change."
BARRY: "Things are changing."
JIM: "I'm talking real change: revolution."
BARRY: "People don't revolt when they're well fed and have a place to live for the most part."
JIM: "I wonder how long that will last."
BARRY: "What could possibly cause this country to collapse overnight to cause a revolution?"
JIM: "Oh, not overnight. Just a series of unfortunate events, that's all. Imagine someone who thought the same way that I do decided to take matters into their own hands of speeding up to what they felt was the inevitable."
BARRY: "I'd say they were vigilante madmen. Society will take it's own course."
JIM: "Oh I think society is headed in one direction too, but if someone decided to start a movement in this country and got enough people behind it, do you think it might be possible to create enough sabotage?"
BARRY: "Domestic terrorism?"
JIM: "Domestic sabotage. Terrorism is aimed at scaring people into getting what you want. You can't give those kind of people what they want because they want to start over and they want to be in control this time. They want destruction. I'd believe it's starting to look possible soon as well, I mean, look at the last election. The only difference in the candidates were the parties they were going to pander to. They had virtually no differences in their campaigns."
BARRY: "Have you ever met anyone like this?"
JIM: "No."
BARRY: "Then what makes you think this could happen?"
JIM: "Because, in the back of my mind, that's the way I feel about things. How nice it would be to start over with a new system. One with hundreds of political parties instead of two that pander to special interests for power. A system where taxes were voluntary and you received benefits based on merit rather than desire or need all the time. A society where charity provided aid to those who needed it and community centers replaced churches. I want a society that removes criminal elements with proper force while maintaining due process. I want professional arbitrators for jurors instead of idiot janitors and bus drivers who know nothing of the law. I want a country that could start a national civil rights organization with the balls to actually stop events like Rwanda and Somalia from happening before they get out of control. A country that could help lead the world to a better future rather than the same old circles, but the only way to do that is to start over again."
BARRY: "Not that I agree with all that, but you know what will happen if there is a revolution, don't you?"
JIM: "The same kind of assholes will rise to power again. The more things change, the more they stay the same."
BARRY: "See, this is why my life is so stressful, because assholes like you are my best friends."
JIM: "I know. If this is what you consider 'unwinding' after a hard day's work..."
BARRY: "It's like I can't escape my job or my responsibilities anymore. A few years ago, I could travel, go upstate and go fishing or I could spend a few days holed up with a book where the hardest thing I did was jerk off before I took a nice hot shower, nuked some frozen pasta and fell asleep to an episode of the West Wing."
JIM: "It's kind of sad, your man-crush on President Bartlett and all..."
BARRY: "Well c'mon, it's President fucking Bartlett."
JIM: "Even so, straight men desiring to have sex with another man because he's so cool isn't healthy."
BARRY: "It's like that song about Wayne Gretzky."
JIM: "It's just plain wrong. Besides, the only man worth my time is Russell Crowe. I'd have to give him a once over if he asked me to."
BARRY: "Same thing with President Bartlett. If he were like, hey Barry, come over here and give my Johnson a once over, I'd have to say yes."
JIM: "Well, as much as I want to dwell on that thought, I have to at least make an effort to get up early tomorrow, so I think I'll call it a night at President Bartlett's happy ending. Give me a call if you want to go bowling with us on Saturday. Midnight special's only seven bucks."
BARRY: "I think I can make that, I don't have any appointments on Sunday."
JIM: "Well, you know me, I work only when I need the money."
BARRY: "I sure hope no one listens to our conversations."
JIM: "No one here would care. If you haven't noticed, we seem to be the most normal people that have walked through those doors tonight."
BARRY: "I doubt that."
JIM: "Are you kidding? Just looking at everyone here gives me hope. Every one of these poor bastards has less of a clue where to start than we do, but they get up everyday. They get up, they go to work and when they're done, they come here for a cup of coffee at ten o clock at night and talk about things they'll never change. I think the only think that makes us more normal than most of them is that we admit to ourselves that we really know nothing and that our whole life will probably be determined by our gut instincts. That's a far cry from what you thought your life might be 10 years ago, eh?"
(BARRY stays silent for a moment, trying to summon the energy to comment but refrains)
BARRY: "I'll see you tomorrow Jim."
(And with that, BARRY leaves, JIM stands by the door smiling to himself for a moment, and then he steps outside, the coffee shop continues to hum)
User Reviews
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-08-05 11:40:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-04 23:27:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it...
Uhm. I wasn't bitching because I don't get enough attention....
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Sorry for being unclear. The review was meant to be to you, not about you. Most people gripe simply because their posts get pushed down the line. You've been established for quite some time, and that wouldn't be a problem at all for you. I just remember that's why I used to bitch about it. Looking back, I took things a little too seriously around here.
Submitted by r1nce (user info) at 2005-08-05 05:30:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for the effort and for touching on a few things I think are a good idea.
-2 for their, there and they're.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-08-05 05:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-05 04:59:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really, really liked this. A lot.
I wish I had half your talent.
Submitted by GaidinCanuck (user info) at 2005-08-05 04:01:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written. I liked it.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-04 23:27:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it...
Uhm. I wasn't bitching because I don't get enough attention....
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-08-04 23:05:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kind of goes to show you why SPT is so popular. No one really wants to read this shit, and rightfully so. It's not exciting, particularly funny or even clever. It's just writing, but it's on par with pretty much most of the writing on this site. The only reason anyone bitches about SPT is because they feel like their posts won't get as much attention.
Submitted by AlexorGM (user info) at 2005-08-04 21:30:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-08-04 21:18:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bubba2341 = AJ
I liked the perspective on this, maybe because I've had almost this exact conversation with somebody before. Nice work.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-08-04 20:31:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF I'M NOT READING ALL THAT
Submitted by ballchick_handjob (user info) at 2005-08-04 20:06:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
God, why would they have a talk like that when there are cute girls like me hanging out at coffee shops all the time?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-04 19:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, it's no 'My Dinner With Andre', but it'll do...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-08-04 18:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're welcome
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-08-04 18:08:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you for understanding what my goal was.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-08-04 17:57:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Screw it... Don't pay attention to my spelling people, it sucks!
(opinion, not opionion)
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-08-04 17:56:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
D'oh!
RaNdom asides... Random!!!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-08-04 17:53:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like it Rawrg - you totally captured the flow of a typical conversation. Radom asides and everything.
I've been pondering how best to write dialogue, and you have just cleared that up wonderfully for me. Thank you. I did enjoy the views you expressed as well - and the fact that it shows that while most of us have opionions, sometimes we fail to think them through to the conclusion.. and how often political issues, when thought out, seem to all follow that circuituous route back to where we are now...
Like Eddy Izzard said "The united states is the new Roman Empire: you have Vomitariums and orgies to look forward to"
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-08-04 17:48:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Begone unoriginal alter.
_________________________
You want original? Why? Nothing on this site is original,
you foreskin chewing goat fucker!
Submitted by TM (user info) at 2005-08-04 17:28:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-08-04 17:24:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
Started out fine, then descended into the depths of left-wing commie pinko liberal tofu-eatin whale-savin seal-kissin honky democrat CRAP!
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Begone unoriginal alter.
Submitted by Sherman (user info) at 2005-08-04 17:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-08-04 17:26:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmm, only the second moron in the history of this site to think that anything I write has a political agenda. If you think that I'm taking a side in this fictional writing, you're stupid.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-08-04 17:24:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Started out fine, then descended into the depths of left-wing commie pinko liberal tofu-eatin whale-savin seal-kissin honky democrat CRAP!
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-08-04 17:15:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HOLY UNORIGINAL REVIEW BATMAN!
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-04 17:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy not reading all of that at the end of my day
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-08-04 17:13:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love play format. It focuses on the dialogue and leaves more to the imagination with a better sense of flow than normal prose. But hey, that's just me.