Sometimes I wish I was a little green man. (560 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.42 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by KnightsWhoSayNi (View user info) at 2005-08-06 14:27:20 EDT
I work at a depertment store and we have this really fun prank that we play on all the new girls that come to work at my job. We pick a day she's working and we tell all the workers to run up the girl everytime they see her and poke her with their finger and make a BZZZ sound, then run away. Especially if she's working the register or helping a customer. The looks we get from people are hilarious. We do this to her all night until she gets so pissed off and demands to know what the hell were doing. Thats when we her...(Drum Roll) The Joke.
So were all sitting in the break room before its time to leave and every 2 seconds someone BUZZ's her. So for a minute all you here is BZZZ...STOP IT! BZZZ...CUT IT OUT ASSHOLE! BZZZ...DONT TOUCH THAT! BZZZ...STOP OR I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU ALL. Finally after all the BZZZing has ceased, I start to tell her the Joke.
(Please Note: I dont know if this joke has been posted yet, so post a link in the comments if it already has.)
A man walks into a bar after a rough day at work and orders a beer. A little green man walks into the bar, sits next to the man and orders himself a beer. The little green man pounds down his beer then turns to the guy next and pokes him with his finger which makes a loud BZZZ sound. The guy turns to the green man and yells "What the FUCK are you doing?! Don't ever put your hand on me again!" He then gets up and moves to the next seat. The little green man moves to the seat next to him and orders another beer. He pounds down the next beer and turns to man BZZZ's him a second time. The man gets gets really pissed and yells "YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN AND I WILL KICK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!" He moves to the next seat. The green man follows him yet again, and orders another beer. The bartender is starting to get pissed and looks at the green man and warns him not to fuck with the customers anymore. The green man agrees and gets his third beer. He pounds down the beer and turns to the guy and BZZZ's him again. The man bellows "THATS IT!" and beats the shit out of the green man. Pounds him repeatedly in the face, kicks his stomach and spits on him when he's on the ground. "I told you not to touch me again, now if you do it one more time I WILL pull down your pants and slice you dick off and that is NOT a joke!" The man moves to the next chair and sits down. The green man gets up, sits next to the man and orders another beer. The bartender yells "You're pissing off my customers and you just got your ass kicked. I will give one more then you're fucking gone." The green man says "Okay! Okay! I promise I will drink it then leave." The bartender slides him his fourth beer and the green man pounds it down. Once again he turns to the man and BZZZ's him. The man slams down his beer and picks up the green man by his throat. "I told you that wasn't a joke, now you're going to lose your fucking dick!" With that he pulls the green mans pants down, looks at the green man and laughs hysterically. "What the fuck is this!? You have no dick! Hey everyone, look at this guy, he has no dick!" He shows everyone in the bar then looks the green man again. "You don't fucking have a dick! How do you have sex?" The green man looks at him and goes BZZZZZZ!
As soon as I am done telling the joke, a horrified looks creeps over her face. WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN DOING THAT SHIT TO ME ALL NIGHT! Then everyone pounces on her and BUZZ's the shit out of her.
I love my work sometimes.
User Reviews
Submitted by GaidinCanuck (user info) at 2005-08-17 01:40:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2005-08-17 01:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"What the fuck is this!? You have no dick!"
I hate it when they say that about me....
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-08-10 01:21:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hadn't heard it .. but liked it.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-07 21:57:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll be honest.. I am a little short in time so I skimmed it...
your name kicks ass though!
Submitted by fallenangel (user info) at 2005-08-07 16:38:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for the name.
-1 for the OK story.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-08-07 09:31:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well if it isn't the leader of the weiner patrol, boning up on his nerd
lessons!
-- Homer Simpson
Boy-Scoutz n the Hood
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2005-08-06 16:48:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Coincidentally, I watched Holy Grail earlier today...Oh the irony.
BZZZ!!!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-08-06 15:27:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How stupid was this? It made me laugh....
Submitted by egadz (user info) at 2005-08-06 15:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hahahahhaha
Submitted by alex.lifeson (user info) at 2005-08-06 14:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2005-08-06 14:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bart: I had a fight with Milhouse.
Homer: That four-eyes with the big nose? You don't need friends like
that.
Lisa: How Zen.
-- Homer Simpson
Homer Defined
*********
This +2 is purely for your name.
I <3 Monty Python.
Submitted by pbnjams (user info) at 2005-08-06 14:38:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That's pretty funny. I'd want to kick your ass if you did it to me, but since that will never happen, rock on.