Motionless (632 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 0.86 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <ThineJericho.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-08-07 01:50:18 EDT
Motionless.
Hair clenched in one hand, sitting. Murmuring words, unheard, words you can't quite understand. Searching, for something. Something real, true, open - but without sharing the hidden self. An impossible task.
Shadows from the wicker chair, falling across a bared stomach. Forming lines, a crisscross of silhouette procession. Muscles tighten, relax, tighten, re ... no - remain clenched, in response to the inner voice now far louder than the spoken words almost drowned out by crickets, singing in the trees around.
The shadows form bars, a prison of light and dark in the fading dusk of evening. Outlined by a light behind and above, the trees serve to dampen the effects of the stars and force a watcher further within.
Approached by a stranger, a grizzled old man with a half-smile in his eyes, but a solemn expression in his features. The visitor asks one question, in a too-loud voice for the mood, projected across the silence.
"Who are you?"
Frozen now, he still sits. The man had taken the words from his very lips, an innocent query, commonly asked of any guest, but turned around on the perhaps unwilling host.
Then, realizing that behind the simplicity of the question there lies a deeper significance, the sitter stills.
Frantically, he searches his mind. "Who am I?" Tricks of psychology, meaningless logic, ploys upon layers of deception. He continues to travail the endless labyrinth, searching for a sense of self. Beyond the usual, "Who am I not," and futile whispers of the general lie. Past the material and into the spiritual. A cold path, and he retreats quickly. Further up, and further in, he sits - and thinks, "Who am I?"
Time passes, but the lonely visitor still waits for an answer.
Everything turns eventual, and so the now hopeless quest ends.
He looks up, with the remains of the search still laid barren in his eyes, and slowly taps his forehead.
"No one home. No one's there."
Finally, the old man speaks again, a wisdom only found in the wandering, elderly prophets of ancient age.
"Perhaps. But, then, who was looking?"
User Reviews
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-11-01 22:18:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll have to come back to this one.
Submitted by fallenangel (user info) at 2005-08-07 17:46:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the way it doesn't make sense- and how it doesn't have to.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-08-07 15:50:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was good...
Submitted by TheUn-PlacidPrincess (user info) at 2005-08-07 05:20:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Written really well, but I just couldn't get into it. Perhaps if I wasnt so tired it would make more sense.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-08-07 03:35:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-08-07 03:05:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dosen't make an ounce of sense.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-08-07 02:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel it.
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-08-07 01:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
(Disclaimer: Basic idea taken from the Illumantis! Trilogy and various related published works)