Top 10 list of things that rule everything on the planet, Vol. I of ? (1082 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.17 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by VeniVidiViciousriffs<Viciousriffs.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-08-09 01:41:27 EDT
10) Pygmy purple elephants with pink polkadots and wings:
You see these fuckers when you are ripped as shit. As soon as someone suggests to you that the little guys are flying around in the room you are in, and suddenly you can see them everywhere. Creepy...
9) People who hate Freemasons:
Freemasons are some evil bastards, and anyone who agrees to disagree with this lot has the right idea.
8) Red bull smoothies:
How can anyone hate this shit? It's good for you (well, except for you heart maybe, but who the fuck uses those anyway?), contains delicious fruit and hyperactivity fluids, and encourages vicarious coolness through consumption and the development of wings. What a winner!
7) Tea tree shampoo:
This stuff makes your scalp feel all tingly and awesome, and helps keep dandruff at bay- better than any other product! This shit owns your souls.
6) Those cars in Minority Report:
These cars were some of the sweetest shit ever! Sure, they may be the product of an overprotective government gone awry, but the cars alone were NICE! They had some type of power of floatation, or adherence to the highway when it was completely vertical. Sweetmobile!
5) Diesel shoes:
These astounding articles of footwear go beyond the call of duty and make everything your feet do supreme, divine and impressive. It's said that Jesus wore sandals made by the ancestors of the founders of the Diesel company. Most excellent.
4) Gaelic:
This is a sweet (albeit dead) language! There's nothing more attractive to the ladies than swearing at them in a foreign language. FEIS ORT, BITSEACH!
3) Good movies:
Stuff like Braveheart, The Life of David Gale and American Psycho. The kind of movie that leaves you feeling fulfilled, like you just learned something and enjoyed the process. Oh, edutainment.
2) Cheesy pornography:
Cheesy porno is sweet as shit! That crazy afro-having woman vag, along with Shaft himself pounding away at her entrails, while Barry White backs the whole thing up? Class act!
1) Good quality music:
You can find music anywhere, but finding good music? It is elation in the purest form. Some good classical, maybe Tool or Big Wreck, some fingerstyle guitar... quality is alive at these moments.
I hope you have enjoyed this little list of random quality as much as I have. Stay tuned, as next week may offer even more banality...
User Reviews
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-08-10 01:22:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
V V V - I worry about you.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-08-09 22:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is this shampoo you speak of?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-09 20:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You forgot 2 for 1 pizza coupons.
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-08-09 15:11:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My grandparents insist on speaking to me only in Gaelic. . . It's quite annoying, only because I can't speak it back to them.
Damn language barrier. One of these days I'll learn to be articulate.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-08-09 15:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And I thought jimthefiend was fucking horrible...
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-08-09 14:50:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Um....
This wasn't really an attempt of any kind- I've just seen so many top 10 lists lately, I decided to compile the most random shit I could think of. Come the fuck on, seriously, I put this together while I was on the phone. Effort? Not exactly.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-09 11:46:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I've seen much better
Submitted by HippoRapist (user info) at 2005-08-09 11:20:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
so not funny
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-08-09 10:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus shoes!
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-08-09 09:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Póg Mo Thóin
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-08-09 09:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The title had so much potential.
You failed to realize any of it. That's unfortunate.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-08-09 08:42:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
10) Pygmy purple elephants with pink polkadots and wings:
Have you been watching Winnie-the-Pooh whilst in a state of drunkenness again?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-09 07:29:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Tea tree shampoo is good, the rest of this is not.
Submitted by Fleadh (user info) at 2005-08-09 06:47:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The opening line was stupid so I stopped reading
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-08-09 06:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If this isn't some form of advertisement then what is? Some of it was funny though.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-09 05:44:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-08-09 05:42:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
I just somehow sat down incorrectly and hurt my balls.
---
I HATE it when that happens!
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-08-09 05:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just somehow sat down incorrectly and hurt my balls.
That does not rule...
This post does however...
I'm gonna lie down for a minute.
Submitted by jimthefiend (user info) at 2005-08-09 05:31:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like that shampoo
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-09 05:12:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was poo.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-09 04:09:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The Life of David Gale?! AMerican Psycho??!! Fufilling?
....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAAHAAHAHAHAAHAAHA!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-08-09 02:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehehehe gawd i can be immature at times, i giggled me arse off at this but you forgot Aloe impregnated toilet paper! man that stuff is so soft on your anus i swear to god i wipe my butt with it even if i havnt taken a dump.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-08-09 02:05:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
as promised, the nondenominational foot coverings saved you
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-09 02:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nope.
-2 die
Submitted by vexx (user info) at 2005-08-09 01:53:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
woo jesus-boot
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-08-09 01:48:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-08-09 01:44:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
VX3's been drinking again...
-----------------------------
CORRECT!
Oh, and the picture is what came up when I searched Jesus sandals.
Submitted by TheUn-PlacidPrincess (user info) at 2005-08-09 01:46:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's said that Jesus wore sandals made by the ancestors of the founders of the Diesel company.
--------------------------
ha haha. deisel shoes are badass.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-08-09 01:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
VX3's been drinking again...