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Now I Believe (373 hits)

Category: UberMadness! Entry
Labels: ETS_Short_Stories

Rating: 0 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (View user info) at 2005-08-09 11:01:22 EDT


This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.


"Fuck you!" That's what I told them when they tried to teach me about their wrathful, but loving, God.

"You mean to tell me that God puts us here, instills us with the innate tendencies to behave in ways that are contrary to what he wants us to do, and then judges us and sends us to hell for doing that which is perfectly within our nature to do? If that's the 'God' you mean, then you can stick him straight up your righteous asses, cause I don't want any part of him!"

Well, maybe that's wasn't EXACTLY what I said, but that was the general thrust of it. Suffice it to say, most the people in the town I grew up in didn't like me much. But I wouldn't be lying if I said the feeling was mutual.

Since I was a boy, I'd had Christianity shoved down my throat like it was a hearty meal and there were starving children in Africa. "Jesus will save you! Jesus will save you!"

I could look around me and see a whole generation of would-be creative thinkers stifled and snuffed out before they ever even had a chance to blossom because of this plague of an ideology. From where I stood, it was obvious the Christian religion had cast its oppressive shadow over virtually every facet of Western Civilization, holding back the tide of evolution and the advancement of the species long enough.

Galileo...Copernicus...Kepler...Descartes...Darwin...all the revolutionary thinkers of the modern age had to mold their ideas to suit the Christian establishment in some form or another. Some have had their ideas suppressed altogether under the weight of these power-hungry crusaders of God. Contrary to popular teachings, even Sir Issac Newton was a victim of this fascist Christian oppression, having to feign a deep acceptance of the religion in order to have his scientific works accepted by the mainstream.

I, on the other hand, garnered a great deal of pleasure from putting those pseudo-holy bastards in their place. Call it the rock 'n' roll influence. Of course, they'd look all shocked like it was the end of the world because someone thought differently than they did, and they'd start praying for me as if God really gave a damn about the travails of some ant-like creature on a remote planet in an endless sea of galaxies, but this was the 20th century. It's not like they were going to burn me at the stake.

I remember how much I hated them then. They were a pack of Ed Sullivans and I was a hip-rattling Elvis giving them all the finger. I'd often fantasize about one day making a discovery that would prove once and for all the fallacy of their beliefs. Just to see their faces when I proved them wrong would be worth it. Just to watch them scramble - desperately clinging to debris from the sinking ship that was once their great religion - would be the ultimate high. Hell, I just wanted to see if the fuckers could even stand up after I'd kicked them off their collective soapbox.

Personally, I'd always looked to science for my answers. When it came to the BIG QUESTIONS that haunt us all, religion had always failed me. I had no trust in it because I couldn't close my eyes. For me, seeing was believing. IF there was a God, he gave me these eyes and this mind for a reason, and I intended to use them.

I'd dabbled in Astronomy and Physics and Biology as a younger man, but it was when I got into the computer software business and began to amass my fortune, that I began to formulate the plan that, today, I would finally be seeing to fruition.

When I received the phone call I'd been waiting for and I heard those three sweet words, "we've got it," I knew that the day had come I'd long been waiting for...

All that research, all that money, and all that digging had finally paid off.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


When the Leer jet landed at my private airstrip and Diederik stepped out, I knew exactly what to expect. It was, after all, only part of the plan. I'd already secretly amassed a team of the brightest biologists and researchers in a special bunker I'd built on my property, and this was the final piece of the puzzle I'd been waiting for.

He handed me the vacuum-sealed briefcase.

"Are these 'the vegetables'?" I asked.

"Yes sir. And they are well preserved it would appear."

"Good enough to eat?"

"Yes sir. That is our hope, but preliminary examinations have told us 'yes', they are good enough to eat."

"Thank you Diederik, you have done well," I said, handing him another briefcase full of money.

As Diederik's jet once again prepared for takeoff, I personally escorted the sealed briefcase inside the house to a hidden room off the East wing. From this room, I could gain access to the underground bunker in which the team of scientists eagerly awaited my delivery. As I walked down the hallway, the plasma panels I'd had installed in all the walls began displaying my favorite artwork as the embedded computer system sensed my presence.

The team knew that what they were doing was illegal, but they were there in the interest of science. What they did not know about the project at hand was no one's concern but my own, so I saw no reason to educate them on the full details of exactly what we were doing, choosing, instead, to merely inform them how they were about to help change the course of history.

"Everyone, gather 'round please. The package has arrived."

The team had already been here for several days in anticipation of 'the vegetables' and they immediately dropped everything, nearly trampling one another to get to the meeting room. I remember I could literally feel the electricity in the air as I carefully sat the briefcase upon the table.

"Gentlemen...and ladies," I winked at Lucy and Michelle, the only two women on the team, "the day we've all been waiting for has arrived. I know you are all fully aware of the illegality and potential unethicality, if that's even a word, of what we're about to do." Everyone smiled. "But you've all come with one purpose and one purpose alone: the advancement of human knowledge."

The room became hushed and the heads of the team members nodded in austere approval as I continued. "You are all here because you are some the brightest minds of our generation. You are here because, like me, you despise the suffocation and subjugation of knowledge in any form, and are willing to risk everything to preserve and advance scientific truth and discovery. You are all here so that the next generation of human beings might enjoy the benefit of living in a better, more understanding world."

Then I opened the briefcase slowly and carefully pulled out two small vials of liquidy content. "Today is a great day for science. With these two vials, we are about to change history for the better."

Dr. Stanny pulled his reading glasses up to his eyes to examine the vials. "When can we begin?" he asked.

"Immediately," I said as I handed him the vials. "Be careful and don't drop them, Doctor. In your hands you hold our future."

"I won't, sir."

"I know you won't," I beamed, giving him a reassuring grin.

"Let's go, people," the Doctor rallied. "You all know what to do."

With that, I bid my scientific comrades-in-arms adieu and left for the airstrip. I had an important business meeting in an hour, and time was money.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The next nine months were a blur of tests and retests, sonograms and heart monitors, spreadsheets and databases. More team meetings came and went, and the operation, for all intents and purposes had run flawlessly.

None of the team members had really been made privy to what exactly we were doing, but they had been given enough information to know that it was monumentally ground-breaking.

From what they'd been told, they knew we were cloning two individuals. In itself that was monumental enough, to be sure, but these individuals, they were told, were important scientific or artistic figures in history. Who they were, I would not specify. For security purposes, I could not disclose the full details of the project. They'd all agreed to those terms before signing on. Sometimes it was amusing, though, to listen to their incessant guessing.

"C'mon, please tell us! We've got a pool going. Is one of them Beethoven? Von Braun? Goethe? Those are my picks. You're going for the great German minds aren't you?" I remember one of them saying at one point.

"You know I can't tell you that yet, Dr. Erving. That was part of the deal. All will be revealed in due time," I assured him. "Besides, it would take all the fun out of it if I were to tell you now," I said with a chuckle.

Everyone sighed and boo'd, pretending to be incensed. It was a good laugh for them though. Although their work kept them pretty much occupied, they hadn't had contact with the outside world in months, and I knew they were starting to get cabin fever, or bunker fever, as the case may be.

Fearing it might jeopardize the project if they weren't entertained in some fashion, I allowed them access to satellite TV and a myriad of video and board games to keep them diverted when they weren't at work. I even brought them a box full of Elvis records - anything to alleviate their boredom. I felt it was the least I could do; after all, it wasn't as if they were my slaves or anything; they had come here of their own accord in the name of science.

I soon made it my practice to check in on them from time to time when other business didn't have me away from the house, and I would bring them pizza and any other living essentials they might need. We would all sit around and talk philosophy and discuss, without getting into particulars, what our project was going to mean to the human race.

Looking back now, I kinda miss those times, but they had to end eventually. On the final day of the project, the mood was again austere and everyone manned their stations in preparation for the payoff of all their hard work.

As I descended the stairs to the spacious bunker, I could already hear the screams of pain coming from Lucy and Michelle. It was a torturous sound I don't think any father ever really gets used to.

"Hello, sir! How's the weather on the surface?"

"Fine, Doctor, fine... And how are our expecting mothers today?"

"Everything is going well, sir. They are dilated 8 and 10 centimeters respectively. As per your orders, we have not given them the epidural, but we thought it best to go ahead and induce labor in both instances."

Both women let out simultaneous, blood-curdling screams.

"Any chance of anyone being able to hear any of this?" asked Doctor Stanny as Doctors Evans and Weiss instructed the respective mothers-to-be to "BREATHE!"

"Not a chance. We are 20 feet below ground, and the walls and ceiling are made of 3 feet thick concrete. You'd need a seismograph to detect anything down here."

Suddenly Dr. Weiss interjected, "We're at 10 centimeters here, Dr. Stanny."

"That's good, Doctor. Let's not lose focus, and let's get this thing done."

The head doctor clapped his hands and rubbed them together as a sort of Zen preparation for what he expected to be the shining moment of his career. If he only knew...

"That's good, Lucy. PUSH!" Lucy let out another spine-tingling wail as her baby's head broke through into the waiting world.

"Ok, one more time, Lucy, and we'll have him. Now PUSH!" Lucy pushed with all her might. Her face was turning all shades of purple as the baby finally arrived in Doctor Stanny's arms.

He wasted no time moving over to assist in the birth of Michelle's baby boy.

"PUSH, MICHELLE, PUSH! C'MON, YOU CAN DO IT!!!" Everyone cheered and breathed a sign of relief as Michelle's baby was born mere minutes from Lucy's.

Both babies were placed in sterilized cribs and carted to a nearby room while the doctors all congratulated each other on what looked, so far, like a pair of healthy cloned babies - the world's first!

When the laughter and celebration had died down, Dr. Erving couldn't stand it anymore. He had to ask.

"Ok, sir, you gotta tell us now. Who are they?"

I paused for a moment because I wanted to relish their curiosity, though I knew the time had come to tell them.

"You wanna know?" I asked.

"Yes!" they all replied.

"You all really wanna know?" Now I was just teasing them. "Ok, ok, first let's all take a short break. We'll check on the babies, clean up the delivery room, then we'll have a meeting in the meeting room in an hour. There I'll tell you everything. Ok?"

"Ok!"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


One hour, and not a second later, everyone but the two breast-feeding mothers was gathered in the meeting room, impatiently waiting for me...waiting for me to tell them the names of the famous men they'd worked so hard to bring back to life. I looked through the glass window into the room and for an instant had second thoughts about what I was about to do...if only for an instant.

I pressed the code on the door panel. It was an irreversible command only I knew. It would not only shut the door and seal the room, but also would extract all the oxygen.

Then, as my assembled brilliant minds struggled for their last breath, I pressed the intercom button...

"You all wanted to know who you'd brought back to life? Let me give you a clue."

And I began to sing:

"Love me tender, love me true.
Never let me go.
For, my darling, I love you,
and I love you so.
Love me tender, love me true,
all my dreams fulfilled.
For, my darling, I love you,
and I always will."

As I released the intercom button and looked again through the glass, I could see the look of disbelief in their eyes...or maybe that was the lack of oxygen. Either way, I couldn't help but smile as I pressed the intercom button a second and final time.

"What? You don't like Elvis? Not important enough of a historical figure for you? Ok. Let me clue you in on who second baby is then... Oh, you'll love this! By the way, this would be an EXCELLENT time to start praying, I think."

I cleared my voice and a grin of pure evil stretched across my face. If seeing is believing, I guess at that moment, I believed...

As I began to sing:

"Silent night, holy night!
All is calm, all is bright
round yon virgin mother and child.
Holy infant so tender and mild.
Sleep in heavenly peace.
Sleep in heavenly peace."


hail to the kings baby.jpg (56 kB)

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User Reviews


Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-11 15:32:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Stop using Vengeance.

Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-07-12 20:07:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Hmmmm... Two can play at this...

Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-10-28 06:03:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-10-28 05:44:01 (#)
Ranking: 2

retaliatory +2
-----------------
aah.........aaaah.............aaaaaaaaaah........................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!

Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-10-28 05:44:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

retaliatory +2


Anyway, we'd like to thank you for the occasional moments of peace and
love our family's experienced ... well, not today. You saw what
happened. Oh, Lord, be honest. Are we the most pathetic family in
the universe, or what?

-- Homer Simpson
Bart vs. Thanksgiving