Straight Incorporated Part 5: The Wrap Up (1970 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: uberbook
Rating: 1.96 on 57 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by badassmofo (View user info) at 2005-08-10 13:35:51 EDT
Author's Note: I wanted to say thanks to everyone that has read this series over the past few weeks. Your words of support have been appreciated very much. You would all be amazed at how theraputic this whole thing has been.
-- -- -- -- --
Part 1 http://www.ubersite.com/m/70402
Part 2 http://www.ubersite.com/m/70459
Part 3 http://www.ubersite.com/m/71327
Part 4 http://www.ubersite.com/m/72350
-- -- -- -- --
I dodged my Straight bullet for quite awhile, in fact it didn't catch up with me until my senior year of high school. Seems no one had done any research on little Jason, and it seems no one noticed that Jason had no credits on the books of any school for his 10th grade year.
Well I had spent 3 months going to school before Straight and 4 months there so with 2 months left before the 3 month summer vacation. My mom's infinite wisdom decreed why go to school for the last 2 months of a year. So I ended up with no traceable credits for 10th grade.
Halfway through my senior year the principle, who I had become quite familiar with, brought me down to his office to tell me I would be about 5 credits short of graduating. I told him I might as well go ahead and leave right now because there was no fucking way I was coming back for another year. He told me to calm down and let him figure out some alternatives.
Long story short I had to pass all of my remaining classes and take some 10th grade stuff my final semester as opposed to my electives. It all turned out ok for the most part other than me having to write some report on Economics in order to get enough extra credit to pass the class...blech!
In hindsight this was just another way Straight would affect me over the years to come.
The day after my uncle dragged me out of that hell hole my mom joined us at his house. I remember being very confused and slightly happy. You see although I didn't conform while I was in the program once I was out I had no structure so I regressed to what they had been trying to pound into my head for so long.
I was doing Moral Inventories, reading from the AA book and talking in ways that made my mother nervous. I finally settled back into just being a teenager but only after many hours of confrontation with my mom. Without bashing my mom here lets say she had always been a fan of drinking and partying, and I with my new found knowledge that drugs and alcohol were bad, we had some differences in opinion.
Nowadays I look back and try to pick out the traits, malfunctions, or shades Straight has caused me to develop over the years.
I have this habit of rubbing my over the edge of my forefinger to make this odd sound (try it when your hand is dry; curl your finger then forcefully rub your thumb forward) whenever I feel emotion but don't want to talk about it. It used to drive my wife nuts but now she just knows I have something on my mind. Did it come from Straight? I'm not sure but my desire to not share certainly did.
I tend to be emotionally shut down. Meaning whatever the emotion is I tend to keep it to myself. Over the years it has caused some problems between the wife and I. I tend now to tell her if I have a problem with something. I also tend not to make my stance on things known. This certainly stems from Straight, I mean at one point I tried to work this program only to have it fail me. I give credit to my wife because she has helped me a ton with this problem. She'll push me until I am so tired of fighting it I finally break down.
I have a real problem with large crowds and quantities of people. I tend to live a hermit's life; staying home most of the time and not reaching out for new friends. In crowds I'll actually get nervous and sweaty because I have no control over the situation. I don't think I'll ever get over this one, I don't my living as a recluse but I'm sure its not healthy for my wife and my child. I keep my circle of friends very small, only the most trusted are allowed in.
Over time I have developed a disgust for those with addictive behavior. I know its wrong, I know that people with addictions are battling a disease but in my mind their minds are just week. Its wrong and I try to deal with it. I have a brother in law who has had some serious addiction issues and for a long time I just couldn't stand him. We are great friends now but my initial feelings about him were only of disgust.
I tried more drugs after Straight than I had ever thought of trying before I went in. Granted part of that is simply timing, I mean I was young when I was in there. But part of it is the education on drugs I learned while I was there. I've tried pot, heroin, cocaine, acid (mmmm I loved acid), mushrooms, Gel caps, Special K, ecstasy, pot (yeah well some things are just part of you), prescriptions, and a few others I probably can't remember. Am I proud of the drugs I've done...hell no...would I change my experiences...again hell no.
I think that if you can do your drugs in a somewhat responsible manner and still handle your duties as an adult then have at it. There is too much stress in this world for me to judge your individual form of escape. For me all I can handle anymore is pot, anything else and I could slip.
All in all I feel pretty lucky to have come out the way I have after this. I've read the stories about Straight and other peoples experiences with it and I am one of the lucky ones. I email back and forth with some of them from time to time keeping up on developments with law suits and what not. For me it's over, it was over a long time ago.
Looking back I really wouldn't change the events of what happened. If I did I would certainly be a different person than I am today. If nothing else Straight made my experience with Boot Camp and The Army much easier to handle. The tactics seemed very similar; break you down and then build you up the 'right' way. As soon as I saw the same head games I laughed to myself thinking this would be easy.
My relationship with my mother has always been a bit stronger based on all of this. She was/ is my best friend (outside my wife) partially because we grew up together and partially because of these happenings.
My relationship with my Uncle gets stronger everyday. Recently we've been talking about moving our collective asses to Kentucky and start our own woodworking business together...that's going to be great.
My relationship with my father was never there when I was a kid. We never knew much about each other nor spent time together. I've always been the one reaching out, trying to establish something. Sometimes my wife will make me call; I'll say 'well he's the fucking dad he should be the one calling' and she'll remind me that I'm calling for me not for him...damn her and her being right all the time.
I saw my dad recently, at our family reunion. Straight is something we don't talk about (see emotional problem above) but we talked about life and father hood. My dad is 50 I think, and he has 2 little boys; a 3 year old and a 6 year old. It's funny because his youngest is the spitting image of me as a child. My dad told me that he was proud of me after watching me with my daughter. Proud of the man, the father I had become. It felt good to hear, its all I ever wanted in the first place.
I watched him with his boys, in my heart I had jealousy. Why them why not me? But I'm an adult, those feelings quickly faded and were replaced with joy for my dad. He had become a good father too. I told him I was proud of him too and that his boys were lucky to have him as a father; that may be all he ever wanted too.
User Reviews
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-12-19 13:06:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My boyfriend spent the majority of his youth in different facilities. His mom was an inept parent, and when her bad parenting led to a child who acted out, instead of helping him, she had him put away.
This continues, to this day... She's called the cops on him numerous times...
Oh the stories I could tell.
Anyway, reading these posts gave me more of an idea of exactly what my boyfriend went through. He's told me a lot about it, but it's just somehow different to hear it from someone else. I can't explain.
Well... I guess... the stories he's told me were more about certian fights he got into, certian things the counselors did, etc... he never told me how it FELT. And if I asked for him to tell me, he'd just say something vague like "it sucked".
He still struggles with his demons, too.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-04-18 17:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2005-12-21 07:00:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-11-11 10:40:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would tell all your half siblings that they were all accidents. Then give them alcohol and your fathers car keys cause 6 year olds should know how to drive.
+2 for OBVIOUSLY being WAAAAAYYY more mature then me about the whole thing.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-11-11 10:16:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Keeps getting better.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-11-02 17:48:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just read all of these and they made me get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-10-14 07:48:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have just read all these and I think they are wonderful.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-08-20 23:46:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mofo, I don't know how often you still check your old posts, but you might be interested in this.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8729932/
Submitted by Smithens (user info) at 2005-08-19 11:16:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Missed alot of this and caught up this last hour.
All i can say is simply breath taking, i am not much of a reader, but your writing was so powerful.
i had a true knot in my stomach, fantastic writing, you are a strong man, i respect you highly
motherfuckin +2
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-08-14 02:57:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent.
Although after reading some of your comments in the "other" place, I am not entirely sure you are this well balanced individual you are implying.
-Dave
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-11 10:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-08-11 09:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Read through the series...put up with the typos (you put up the disclaimer, so it's all good)...this was about the story and the events, after all....
Just shocking stuff...amazing that you didn't berate your dad after that.
Powerful stuff.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-08-10 22:41:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to admit you are a talented mothertrucker. Very refreshing seeing as how much horseshit from noobs we have to sift through every day.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-10 20:52:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
can we make smores?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-10 20:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
don't sweat it, and yes I may just camp the entire night fucker.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-10 20:36:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck me up the ass for not giving +2 last time
I'm such the asshole
SOrry
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-10 20:36:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You gonna lay a sleeping bag down and camp on this post all night?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-10 20:04:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
kissmyarse - everyone keeps saying things like 'strength' and 'overcame.' I don't know...I never meant it like that, like look at me...at what I've done.
Its really not that hard to write about as it was a long time ago.
joe - I'm not getting anymore of those pics?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-08-10 18:40:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
gotta learn to take time and read reviews
nah
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2005-08-10 17:39:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a real problem with large crowds and quantities of people. I tend to live a hermit's life; staying home most of the time and not reaching out for new friends. In crowds I'll actually get nervous and sweaty because I have no control over the situation. I don't think I'll ever get over this one, I don't my living as a recluse but I'm sure its not healthy for my wife and my child. I keep my circle of friends very small, only the most trusted are allowed in.
==========
There is nothing wrong with that, you're a family man with a wife and child. As long as you don't completely cut yourself off from the world.
Over time I have developed a disgust for those with addictive behavior. I know its wrong, I know that people with addictions are battling a disease but in my mind their minds are just week. Its wrong and I try to deal with it. I have a brother in law who has had some serious addiction issues and for a long time I just couldn't stand him. We are great friends now but my initial feelings about him were only of disgust
==============
I know how you feel about this. Addiction was forced into my knowledge in a different way, and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth too. I try to not let it, but it does.
Awesome post, I researched Straight Inc. from the first post you wrote. It's incredible the amount of suicides and young adolescent lives it scarred. Props to you for being strong enough to write this.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-08-10 17:38:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-08-10 17:23:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I tried it, but I already do it all the time anyway, so I guess 'try' isn't the right word...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-08-10 17:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-10 17:02:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
ok how many tried the finger rubbing move? Come on I want to know.
--
All the time. Works wonders and...
Oh, you mean the move in your piece above? Never mind.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-10 17:02:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ok how many tried the finger rubbing move? Come on I want to know.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-10 16:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm gonna kidnap Manic and drag her with me
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-08-10 16:59:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-08-10 16:41:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
When and if I get to meet you, I owe you a drink and a joint.
You're an impressive human being, badass. Coming from me, that's a lot.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Me too. But without teh illegal contriband.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-10 16:51:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Manic I truly appreciate your words, I'll be at the NY Ubercon, quietly sitting in the corner, stoned and making fun of people with my wife, come and join us...we both really like cool people. You're cool...in my book.
Jack thanks for the tips, it's just a thought right now I mean I have never even tried to publish anything I just keep thinking I've got a lot of material on this so why not check into it.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-08-10 16:41:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The publishing catch-22-- Can't submit something for publication without an agent, can't get an agent if you are unpublished.
Write it out in proper manuscript format, include a synopsis letter and just do a cold-mailing to all the big men's mags in the US. Stuff, Maxim, FHM, etc. Who knows?
Go here...
http://www.shunn.net/format/story.html
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-08-10 16:41:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When and if I get to meet you, I owe you a drink and a joint.
You're an impressive human being, badass. Coming from me, that's a lot.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-10 16:35:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
manic - I spent years eating myself up over my father, to that point that it started to affect my relationship with my grandmother. I sent him a letter when I was maybe 26 saying that I was going to be a good man in spite of him rather than because of him.
My wife is the one that finally made me stop and think about what I was doing.
Its odd when I go to the family reunions because its all his family, that untrusting side of me creeps into my brain and tells me 'they're all looking at you, You're Jason the one that had 'those problems' in the past'. Makes me want to stand on the table and take'em all on.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-08-10 16:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I cannot articulate the anger I now have from reading this series. What was done to you was inhumane at the very least, most likely illegal, and could have destroyed you both as person and a functioning member of society. You should be proud of your strength to perservere over what was done to you and in taking back your life. And you are a better man than I (yeah I'm a chick, but it doesn't sound right if I word it otherwise) for forgiving your father. THAT, I'm not sure I could do if I was in your place.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-10 16:17:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kre8ix - thanks, the rage I felt and all has really subsided. It was probably at it's worst when I was about 22-23 trying to make something of myself and not having the proper emotional tools.
Jack - it's no big deal but I have someone helping clean this up and put it into one piece, I was thinking you might know a few avenues I could take as far as maybe publishing it? I know others probably do too, but I figured I'd ask you first.
X - be afraid of what tomorrow will bring.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-08-10 16:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-08-10 15:53:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
And I want to meet your uncle. He is now my fucking hero.
--
I second that.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-08-10 15:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't explain why, but after reading all of this series I've become...volatile.
I'm of the opinion that some, but very few) people are in need of death as they are a waste of the life they were given. Not very often I hear about people like this (the people that started/run these places), and would love to volunteer to do it myself.
I'm glad you made it out dude, I hope whatever God you choose continues to bless your family.
And I want to meet your uncle. He is now my fucking hero.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-10 15:42:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm pretty frightened what tomorrow will look like...
maybe I should be 'sick' tomorrow and go fly a kite or something
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-10 15:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
X - consider this a safe haven. I've been out on the board today and its tough to stomach.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-10 15:39:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm camping on this site because the others are too shitty or are Shlongy and Jimthefiend fighting.
What has this site come to?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-08-10 15:29:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, bamf, I can't access outside email at work. It's like the fuckin CIA here.
Use this, and hopefully I'll remember to check it tonight at home.
bazuemague.at.yahoo.com
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-10 14:40:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack I have a few questions for you...jmaguire.at.cbrwoodworking.com
If you don't mind.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-08-10 14:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good wrap-up.
Use this 'just me talking' voice in your fiction. A believable voice carries a lot of weight when it comes to readers and the suspension of belief or whatever the fuck. You know, if you are writing a short horror story about seven-foot tall marauding mutations that look like semi-erect penises invading a girl's dormatory you can get away with it if you tell it in a certain way.
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2005-08-10 14:37:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man I was pissed the first time I got put into treatment. It was outpatient and I flunked, so then it was inpatient for a month. I was my second year of college and I was given a choice: go inpatient for a month or we cut off all support. Meaning I would have to pay for school if I wanted to go. Fuck that. I didn't stop, although I was in and out of AA voluntarily for the next ten yrs. or so. Second time I put myself into a live in facility and stayed there for six months. See, I was due to inherit a substantial ammount of cheese and I knew I'd probably kill myself with it if I was still getting high. Didn't work. I blew over $130,000 in less than a year - mostly on crack.
That was almost 10 yrs ago. Nowdays, I drink a few beers every day and somke up occasionally, but most importantly I hold a good job (for the most part responsibliy) and have been at it for almost four years. I haven't been to a meeting in many years. It is possible to find moderation (unlike the 12 steppers tell you), although it would be fairly easy to return to the dark side, too.
Nice writing. It jarred loose some memories for me that I would do well not to forget.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-10 14:32:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
man, what a roller coaster!
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-08-10 14:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another winner.
You complete me, too
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-10 14:32:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great series. I'm glad you turned out as great as you did despite all the bullshit you had to go through.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-08-10 14:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-10 13:57:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
wookie - http://www.chetart.com/thought.html
---------------------------------
Good stuff.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-08-10 14:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nobody would blame you if you went back and found the chapter president and put him in a shallow hole out in the woods.
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-10 14:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gonna wait to read this one, I missed 3 and 4 somehow. I am printing em all out now to read. This better have a cool ending, you made me wait a long tome to finish teh series thar peener.
+2's to follow!
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-10 13:59:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-10 13:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wookie - http://www.chetart.com/thought.html
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-08-10 13:54:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who did the artwork?
I painted something very similar.
Submitted by Mr-Boo (user info) at 2005-08-10 13:50:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-10 13:49:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Teeph - yes massage but pronounced meh - saw - gee
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-08-10 13:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love happy endings.
Wait. This wasn't about massage therapy, was it?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-08-10 13:42:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Required reading.
All 5 of 'em.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-10 13:41:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is that great or gey pictures?
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-10 13:40:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'great' pictures
fucking keyboards
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-10 13:40:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great wrap up
You also add some greay pictures to your posts