I always wanted to have a few more inches but God, at that price? (1219 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.81 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (View user info) at 2005-08-11 12:33:47 EDT
I stood in the parking lot, hesitant, like Gilbert Grape standing in front of the new supermarket at the edge of town, the one with live lobsters in the tank, apprehensive about going in, feeling dirty about it. But what choice did I have? My source for all things electronic, Best Buy <cue angelic harp music> had sold out, quickly. I couldn't wait until tomorrow, I had to play today.
I shook my head headed across the parking lot, eyes on the ground and my hands planted firmly in my pockets, like going into a sleazy video store at 2 AM in the bad part of town; I was hoping no one I knew would see me.......
"Hi. Welcome to Circuit City."
"Thanks" I replied as I scurried by attempting to avoid the onslaught of sales pitches and special deals.
"Here, take one of these mailers, they tell you about all of the wonderful deals we have right now."
"Thanks"
"My name is Kyle. If you need anything, let me know."
"Thanks"
As it was, I didn't need anything. Well, other than a copy of Madden 2006 and I didn't feel like assistance was necessary in this search.
"Games....Games.....Where the fuck are the games?" I pondered as I strolled around the race track of a walkway laid out around the store.
"Anything I can help you with?" The salesman, who looked no more than 12, asked.
"Not really, just looking for the PS2 games.....?"
"Ok, well let me know if there is anything I can help you with"
"Ummm, how about the current location of the P-S-2 games?"
"Next to the computer games" the young clerk responded
"Who would have thought that? You guys are on the cutting edge of product placement. You know it?"
"Yes sir. We have weekly meetings on the subject, product placement is very important to making sure the customers are able to locate everything they need in a quick and convenient manner. If there is anything else, just let me know."
"No shit?...... Weekly meetings?"
Now at this point, my gut instinct was telling me to walk away. To go home, and try another Best Buy tomorrow or something. There was just something uneasy about a 12 year old kid wearing a clip on tie lecturing me about marketing and customer satisfaction.
"During one of your more recent meetings, did you guys select a location for video games?"
"Yes sir, we felt like the computer gaming industry and the interactive video gaming industry were growing closer and closer. You know, like twins."
"Yes, good analogy"
"So we felt that they should be placed together, adjoining each other since many of our best selling games have PS2, X-Box, and PC versions"
"No shit?"
"Yes sir"
"I don't believe it, show me"
"Right this way"
He passed me and headed for the back of the store and began to strut like a peacock. Now, this story should have ended here but oh no........
"See here, we have multiple versions of all of our games." He proudly pointed out
"Madden?"
"PS2, PC, or X-box"
"PS2"
"Right there, just to the left"
"Thanks, where do I pay?"
"Follow me"
And with that, I had my Madden 2006 and would be playing in less than an hour. Or so I thought.......
On the way to the register, we pass by the TV section. Now, a man simply cannot walk past the TV section without being somewhat interested in a big screen, plasma, LCD, or Sony Trinitron Wega. It just isn't allowed. So, I slow down (BIG mistake) to admire the picture quality of the seven-thousand dollar TV in front of me.
"That is our best model"
"Yeah, you guys are proud of it, I can tell"
"That is a 50 inch Plasma HDTV, from Hitachi"
"Nice picture"
"Video games are unbelievable on these things" he said with a determined look.
"I came in for a fifty dollar game, sport. I ain't leaving here with a $7,000 TV. Don't waste time, energy, or your breath. Mmmk?"
"Oh, you don't have to have that one, we have a lot of less expensive TV's. Look at this one; it is a 42 inch version of that one (pointing to the 50 incher). Same features, just less screen."
I happen to glance down at the price and see that it is $3,249.00. Suddenly, 'sarcastic-wants-to-fuck-with-people-until-they-are-a-babbling-mess-of-confusion-and-mental-disarray-Toby' showed up.
"Wait a minute, Kip"
"Kyle"
"Yeah, the 50 inch is 7,900 bucks, but the 42 inch is 3,250?"
"Yes sir"
"Is that extra 8 inches worth $3,650? I mean twice the price for two-thirds of one foot?"
"......"
"By my calculations, and I'm no rocket scientist here, I'm just spit-balling, but based on the 42 inch price, that comes out to roughly 77 bucks per inch."
"....."
"Now, if the plasma screen is priced in that regard, the 50 inch model should be priced at about 3900 bucks give or take a bit."
"......"
"You said they had exactly the same features, correct?"
"Y....Y-Yes s..sir"
"I'm confused here, Kent"
"Kyle"
"Sorry"
"Let me get a manger"
Kip/Kent/Kyle picks up the bat-phone, the red phone with no numbers to dial on the front, and requests assistance over the loud speaker.
The "manager" comes over; a middle aged Asian fellow who I would soon learn did not speak Engrish very well.
Manager: "HONK HONK HONK HONK"
"....WTF?...."
"HONK HONK HONK HONK"
"Umm, yeah, OK. The price of the 42 inch model is $3,250 but the 50 inch, which by the way is only 8 inches larger and don't get me wrong, while I would trade my left leg for 8 more inches, $7,900 seems a little off on the price scale."
"HONK HONK HONK"
"Ok, can I have the 50 inch at the 77 bucks an inch rate you are charging for the 42 inch model?"
The manager shook his head furiously, "NO!" and stormed away.
"OK, he seems a little aggravated. Aww, come on Kevin?"
"Kyle"
"Yeah, sorry. How about it? I think it is a good deal for you too. I mean how many 50 inch plasma screen TVs do you sell in a week? At 5 percent commission, one woud buy you like 20 lap dances over at Scores or get you the happy ending at the Tokyo Spa."
"You would need a good surround sound system to go with that TV"
"Ken....."
"Kyle"
"Yeah, sorry."
"DVD player, monster cables, a TV stand, any of that sound good? You'll need them"
"Don't get greedy on me, Kurt."
"Kyle"
Yeah, sorry. I came in for a 49.99 video game and I am now leaving with that and a $4,000, 50 inch TV to play it on, don't get greedy.
We get up to a remote terminal or something, he punches some buttons and looks to be deciphering codes in his head all the while and finally announces my total....
"$4,253.12"
And everyone was happy.........except the manger who would probably be honking Kyle into another career choice by the time they closed......
Now, if I could figure out how to hook up the 1.2 million wires I have from all my other crap, I'm in business.
User Reviews
Submitted by Gunslinger (user info) at 2005-08-15 19:12:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful. Convincing people like that is what makes me appreciate impressionable people. By the way. Painkillers are the fun.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-08-12 23:39:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by testify (user info) at 2005-08-12 17:35:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
the 42" in screen area whether it is a 3:4 or 9:16 aspect ration. Added to that the cost is exponential in making larger screens, and you'll find that for the area of the 50", they are making less profit per square inch than on the 42". And oh yeah: grow a fucking brain and stop writing stupid stories in which you make an idiot out of yourself.
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Idiot out of himself? He just got a 50 inch screen for the price of a 42 inch (which as you pointed out, is 60% larger, OMG). That sounds more like genius than idiocy to me.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-08-12 20:09:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'sarcastic-wants-to-fuck-with-people-until-they-are-a-babbling-mess-of-confusion-and-mental-disarray-Toby'
Sigh. I like that Toby...
Submitted by testify (user info) at 2005-08-12 18:33:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's not an opinion, its basic trigonometric fact. My user information has nothing to do with the fact that a 50" TV is 60% larger than a 42" TV, although if it helps you get by, feel free to think it does.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-08-12 18:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about testify
User id: 21021
Registered on or around: 2005-08-04 10:02:31
# Messages posted: 2
# Reviews written: 43
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 50
# Hits: 1161
Average rating of all messages: -0.96
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Some people's opinion matter to me, too bad you're not one of them.
It's just a story, lighten up.
Read Nitty's review at the bottom.... "Nice Write UP" OK?
Submitted by testify (user info) at 2005-08-12 18:24:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"YOU PROBABLY WORK AT TEH TEEVEE STORE!@!!!!"
Wow, didn't see that one coming. Then again, I didn't expect someone to write an entire story priding themselves on their superior intelligence over a salesman, only to find out they are wrong anyway.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-08-12 18:20:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by testify (user info) at 2005-08-12 17:35:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
"By my calculations, and I'm no rocket scientist here, I'm just spit-balling, but based on the 42 inch price, that comes out to roughly 77 bucks per inch."
"....."
"Now, if the plasma screen is priced in that regard, the 50 inch model should be priced at about 3900 bucks give or take a bit."
_____________________________
Apparently you are "no rocket scientist", because a rocket scientist or even a highschool graduate would inform you that the price is based on screen area, the length from the bottom left to the top right corner is just the standard in advertising. The 50" model is more than 50% larger than the 42" in screen area whether it is a 3:4 or 9:16 aspect ration. Added to that the cost is exponential in making larger screens, and you'll find that for the area of the 50", they are making less profit per square inch than on the 42". And oh yeah: grow a fucking brain and stop writing stupid stories in which you make an idiot out of yourself.
--------------------
Kyle? Is that you?
I hate you lost your job selling TVs at circuit city over this deal, I really do.
Well, no I don't. I got a good deal out of it and I am happy.. Try Mcdonald's, I hear they need a new french fry guy.......
Submitted by testify (user info) at 2005-08-12 17:35:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"By my calculations, and I'm no rocket scientist here, I'm just spit-balling, but based on the 42 inch price, that comes out to roughly 77 bucks per inch."
"....."
"Now, if the plasma screen is priced in that regard, the 50 inch model should be priced at about 3900 bucks give or take a bit."
_____________________________
Apparently you are "no rocket scientist", because a rocket scientist or even a highschool graduate would inform you that the price is based on screen area, the length from the bottom left to the top right corner is just the standard in advertising. The 50" model is more than 50% larger than the 42" in screen area whether it is a 3:4 or 9:16 aspect ration. Added to that the cost is exponential in making larger screens, and you'll find that for the area of the 50", they are making less profit per square inch than on the 42". And oh yeah: grow a fucking brain and stop writing stupid stories in which you make an idiot out of yourself.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-08-12 16:30:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was fucking funny man.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-12 15:35:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-08-11 15:56:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 cuz I like Best Buy?
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Everything you ever wanted to know about nrduncan
User id: 16267
Registered on or around: 2005-02-09 12:11:48
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This is why Pent and Donk are leaving. This is why Bickerstaff and Badlands are no longer around.
People like this ass, think they are being cute.
The future of Uber is in deep trouble.
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agreed... however, people have to learn to get over it.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-08-12 07:49:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-12 02:02:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-08-12 01:30:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Movie party at Tobe's!
-------------------------
Sure! List the movie you would most like to watch. I have an extensive collection of DVDs but they are mostly of the "adult" variety.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-12 02:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-08-12 01:30:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Movie party at Tobe's!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-08-12 01:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Movie party at Tobe's!
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-08-11 23:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's always easier than it looks at first. Eventually you'll see that it's really just 3 cords with different options.
Submitted by Tastycat (user info) at 2005-08-11 22:55:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
WTF? I got a 62" for $2800CDN. Haggle, me boy.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-08-11 20:46:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for this being a great story.
As for all-stars leaving Uber, if they're leaving over something as dumb as an occasional bad score given by some Internet loser, then they probably should leave because they're taking the Internet more than a bit too seriously.
All the people you mentioned are exceptional writers. I hope they didn't actually leave because of the occasional idiot. I think I'd lose a little respect for them if that were true.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-08-11 20:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you buy the extra warranty?
come on, you can tell us, we won't tell anyone
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-08-11 19:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're made of 150% awesome.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-08-11 15:56:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 cuz I like Best Buy?
---------------------------------
Everything you ever wanted to know about nrduncan
User id: 16267
Registered on or around: 2005-02-09 12:11:48
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 787
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0.00
---------------------------
This is why Pent and Donk are leaving. This is why Bickerstaff and Badlands are no longer around.
People like this ass, think they are being cute.
The future of Uber is in deep trouble.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-08-11 15:48:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dirty commie pinko liar!
Submitted by manicvelocity (user info) at 2005-08-11 15:29:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant!
Best Buy rocks. The employees may not always know what they're talking about, but goddamn, at least they don't have huge dollar signs reflecting in their eyes every time they look at you.
Submitted by twentyseventy (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:56:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's ridiculously awesome to pull that off
HONK HONK HONK - priceless
Submitted by goose (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:45:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It is an awesome story.
And Best Buy is obviously superior to Circuit City. The analogy I used to explain this to my mom was thinking of the difference between, say, Neiman Marcus and Sears (excluding the tool department). Circuit City is the electronic equivilant of the Hostess Factory second-hand store, where all of the Twinkees too old to sell in the regular grocery store go to die. Sure, it taste good at first, but you just wind up feeling dirty, and slightly ill.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:33:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny stuff.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-08-11 13:37:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm sorry, but what?
Best Buy is a better store than Circuit City? I don't know what kind of strange alternate universe you come from, but the one I'm in is the complete opposite. I don't even have to make my point myself, I will just direct you to best buy's fansite: http://www.bestbuysux.org/
Even if you can find someone to help you there's a 98.67% chance they'll have no idea what they're talking about.
I have NEVER had a problem with circuit city. I've rarely had a trip to best buy where I didn't have a problem.
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dude. this was a sw eet story. if the only reason that you -2 him is because that he likes one store over another, and you disagree with that, but think it was an awesomely entertaining story, thats fucked up.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-11 13:55:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-08-11 13:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm sorry, but what?
Best Buy is a better store than Circuit City? I don't know what kind of strange alternate universe you come from, but the one I'm in is the complete opposite. I don't even have to make my point myself, I will just direct you to best buy's fansite: http://www.bestbuysux.org/
Even if you can find someone to help you there's a 98.67% chance they'll have no idea what they're talking about.
I have NEVER had a problem with circuit city. I've rarely had a trip to best buy where I didn't have a problem.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-08-11 13:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's some hardcore negotiating. How do you feel knowing you probably cost a 12 year old kid his job?
Solid post.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-08-11 13:27:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Must....buy....teevee....
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-08-11 13:12:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok post, but the "HONK HONK HONK" was fucking hilarious.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-08-11 13:04:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is great.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-08-11 12:50:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was going to be about that dumb peener-enhancing pill. I'm glad it wasn't
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-08-11 12:47:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You had me at: "My source for all things electronic, Best Buy <cue angelic harp music>"
I do so love Best Buy. I know what I want, I know where it is, leave me the fuck alone unless I ask.
God Bless Best Buy.
Also, your tale of acquiring your TV at that bargain basement price has made me weep tears of empathic EMO JOY!
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2005-08-11 12:43:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HONK HONK HONK.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-11 12:41:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome - when I bought my 50" DLP tv the guy told me I would probably spend an extra grand on accessories. and I did.
When I went back to get the 26" Flat screen for the bedroom I told them to shove the accessories right up their asses.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-08-11 12:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice writeup
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-08-11 12:35:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NCAA Football '06 is truly a better game than Madden.