Adventures in Basic Training Part 1: The Welcome Wagon (1505 hits)
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Submitted by Jack11058 (View user info) at 2005-08-11 14:03:36 EDT
24 April 2000
Private Jack D. 11058 arrived in Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, for U.S. Army Basic Combat Training.
"How bad can it be?" I thought to myself. I've heard all about this "new Army." They can't beat you up anymore, the can't cuss at you, it'll be a piece of cake!
I'm a dumbass.
Reception and in processing wasn't too bad. This portion of basic training lasts three or four days, during which time you fill out all necessary paperwork, receive your basic issue of uniforms, boots, and toiletries, and are schooled in basic military courtesies, traditions, and regulations.
During reception, three kids tried to commit suicide. One of them took 12 children's chewable Tylenol. I couldn't understand it--it wasn't bad at all. The food was decent, we got a good 6 hours of sleep a night, and even the reception Drill Sergeants were really laid back and nice.
That's how they sucker you in, see.
The final day of reception arrived. We all gathered to be transported out to Charlie Company, 1st of the 48th Infantry, which would be our actual basic training unit and home for the next nine weeks. We stood in an open field near the main gate of Fort Leonard Wood (aka "Fort Lost-in-the-Woods" aka "The Wood) waiting for our transportation to arrive.
Three semi trailers pulled up, towing what appeared to be cattle cars. Yes, actual trailers used to hail cows and pigs and sheep and shit. They smelled like shit too.
Two Drill Sergeants dismounted each truck. These types looked a little more road-hardened than the reception Drills. They didn't say anything; just stood there watching all of us from behind mirrored lenses.
Our reception Drills moved us into the cattle cars. We were packed in tight, holding our duffel bags against our chests. The Basic Training Drill Sergeants mounted up behind us and stood in the center of the cargo area. The heat was stifling. The trucks took off with a lurch, throwing a bunch of us around.
No one said anything. The Drills were creeping everyone out. I decided just to bury my face in my duffel.
We hit a small bump in the road, which I later decided had been a pre-determined signal for all hell to break loose. All of a sudden, the Drills were bellowing curses (hey, I thought they weren't allowed to do that!) and shoving at the people who had lost their balance going over the bump.
"Shut the fuck up!"
"Shut UP!"
None of us had uttered a word, anyway.
"I am Drill Sergeant Pereda, you fucking pinheads!" His voice was hoarse from what was probably a lifetime of assholeitude.
"And I'm Drill Sergeant Balistreri, you fucking brain-dead knuckleheads!" His voice was even croakier, like a bullfrog hopped up on meth and steroids. I found it delightfully amusing given the circumstance, and allowed a quiet chuckle to bubble forth like clear spring water. A chuckle too quiet for any mortal man to hear.
Nonetheless, bully number 1 (Pereda) was instantly breathing hatred into my ear.
"When we get to Charlie company, I'm going to smoke the shit out of you," he whispered, his words a tender caress of evil brushing my earlobe.
Oh boy.
Well, we all got the shit smoked out of us when we got to Charlie company.
The cattle cars disgorged a sweaty, terrified mob of 18-21 year old boys and girls into an open, dusty field, where they were immediately set upon by a crowd of Drill Sergeants, who had been waiting impatiently for their fresh batch of victims.
All in all, it was a good time. We stood in formation, learning a little something called "front-back-go." You run in place (the "go" part), then the Drill yells either "front", at which point you drop to the ground and furiously begin to do pushups, or "back", at which point you fall backwards and do flutter-kicks, an exercise devised by Lucifer himself. The exercise can progress in any order, and often with little time in between, so you are consistently trying to move in four different directions at once.
During "breaks" from FBG, we dumped out our duffels, re-packed them, dumped them again, over and over again. Meanwhile, Drill Sergeants, looking ever-evil under their "Brown Round" campaign hats, stalked the rows of soldiers, randomly picking recruits to torment. One kid two down from me actually shit his pants.
Suddenly, Drill Sergeant Pereda stood in front of me. His face was a half-finished block of granite, his eyes were bloodshot.
"11058, huh?" he said, consulting a clipboard. "Looks like you're in my Platoon."
"Yes, Drill Sergeant!" I hollered out.
"Shut the fuck up and beat your face, meat!" he grunted. Beat your face means do pushups, so I complied.
He paced up and down alongside my struggling body.
"Do flutter-kicks, knucklehead!"
I turned over on my back and started doing flutter-kicks. (This is an exercise where you lie down on your back and raise and lower your legs like a pair of scissors. Fast.)
"Stop!"
I came to the rest position, with my legs at a 45-degree angle off the ground.
Pereda knelt next to me, smiling like I made his day. He carefully removed his Brown Round and placed it under my quaking legs.
"I'll be back in 10 minutes, dicksnort," he snarled. "Best not crush my cover..."
And he was gone.
It was going to be a long nine weeks.
ps. For Badassmofo, Joedaddy, and all you other old schoolers, I know this is pretty pansy stuff. But I was an out of shape couch potato before I joined. It was all new to me. So there! Yeah, that's it!
User Reviews
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-14 13:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.
My ass is off to Benning next June.
FUN FUN FUN!
Submitted by RydinJ (user info) at 2005-09-16 22:43:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A great start to an AWSOME series
Submitted by foodman (user info) at 2005-08-25 13:12:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My experience from reception in the cattle cars was similar.
"Put your fucking face in your fucking bag!!! Don't fucking look at me!!! I fucking own you!!!"
Damn, that was more than 2 years ago. Shit.
--SPC PARKER
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-08-25 13:06:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just finished blowing through a bunch of these. Good stuff.
Submitted by spacemanor (user info) at 2005-08-23 01:27:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
joker is mc
Submitted by heatherm (user info) at 2005-08-15 22:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh how I miss Ft Lost in the Woods, Misery.
C Co. 3-10
2/01/01- 4/12/01
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2005-08-15 19:39:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
jack, i just read this. i went to lost in the woods too. alpha 148 my self. i was 2003 though. ahh that story brought me back.
Submitted by atomicmac (user info) at 2005-08-15 15:24:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Again, I have to say I loved being a Drill Sergeant.
1-48 is a tough bunch! I spent some time there and in the 3-10th...
Spent many a night at Big Louie's!
LOL... I have to know when you did this, and you skipped reception and integration in the pit!
Submitted by chemokenny (user info) at 2005-08-15 14:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
D co 2/10
June - Aug '02
Fort Leonard Wood
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-12 16:03:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-08-11 23:37:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
........./\..R Lee Ermey
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-08-11 22:52:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would not do well in basic training.
Submitted by CoffeeAndSmokes (user info) at 2005-08-11 21:11:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-08-11 17:26:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can never get enough basic training stories. My dad tells a great one about his drill sergeant breaking a coffee mug against the face of an out-of-shape fella who refused to run anymore. I laughed for a month straight.
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2005-08-11 16:39:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-11 16:21:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Vulva = Oldschooler
Boot camp grad class of 95' bitches! wOOt
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-08-11 16:14:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I recieved a rifle butt to the face for my first act of insolence during those days.
I'll take touchy-feelie over mind-fuck, any day.
Makes me feel, loved.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:44:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nope it was McClellan in AL, I think they were moving it though?
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:40:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lotta military types on here.
when I went through, OSUT MP was at FLW...
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:38:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Badass, were you at Leonard Wood?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:35:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah mine was OSUT One Station Unit Training = Basic and AIT in one shot 17 weeks.
June 20th 1993 B-787 MP Training
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GET DOWN AND PUSH MISSOURI REAL ESTATE, YOU FUCKING GEEK!
F.L.W. 6/93-11/93
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:30:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome, man. I did Basic Training for the Navy in 1999, right before they made it EVEN EASIER and it wasn't shit. I love hearing stories about the other services. Any Air Force fags on here want to tell us what it's like to ride a bike through boot? COol story bro...
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Flutter kicks and "Beat your face" gave me a flashback.
September 1992 - Ft. Jackson
D co 2-28
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff Jack, we called it the shark attack.
I remember one DS pulling the hysterical girl to the payphone telling her to call her fucking mommy.
I remember being made to drink both canteens one right after the other and puking my guts up then having to drop in the same spot.
You've inspired me Jack I too will make a post about boot camp.
I'm sure Joe's stories involve actual physical contact being back in the day and all.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:15:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can see I'm going to enjoy reading this.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:15:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I did basic training for the Navy in 1990. I was totally amazed at what a piece of cake it was. I sure hope the Army and Marines and Air Force train harder than what we got, because I'll tell you what, they're training a LOT harder on a LOT less food with a LOT less support around the rest of the world.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:12:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know this is going to be good, bu tyou better not stretch this out into an 8 part once a week series or I swear I will take Mrs. 11058 out to nice steak dinner and not call her back.
Submitted by rurumon (user info) at 2005-08-11 14:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dicksnort...I love it.