My Battle Scars or Pain? Skate it off you pussy! (783 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 2 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <brdn_nkd.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-08-12 10:35:25 EDT
In response to: http://www.ubersite.com/m/73039
Scars, evidence of a life well lived? Or, perhaps evidence of being accident prone. Whatever, that's not important. I've had the misfortune of being sewn back together several times, so, when Chronic asks for responses to his "Battlescar" post I find that I pretty much have to write on of my own in order to respond.
Age 1, learning to walk, I fell into the coffee table and received stitches in my eyebrow.
Age 5, having discovered the joys of socks on hardwood floors I was sliding down our hallway when I was suddenly introduced to a door jamb in a much more intimate manner than was acceptable. The doctors decided to put a butterfly bandage on it and tell me to skate it off so I now have a half inch scar near my hairline in the middle of my forehead.
Age 11, after getting really pissed at my parents I stormed out of the house, hopped on my super fly ten speed and rode angrily down the street. I rode to release the anger and hatred I was feeling at the time. I noticed that I was gaining on the truck in front of me and not wanting to run into it pulled into the deep grass next to the road. Unfortunately what I didn't notice was the culvert buried in the grass that I subsequently hit at about 25 mph. I flew face first over the handlebars into the gravel road behind it. I don't know if I was out at all after that but when I got up and picked up my bike to ride home I was extremely pissed to find the front tire bent into a big U shape. I threw my bike down in disgust and started walking. This was during rush hour, I was bleeding profusely walking along the side of a busy road, and ONE person stopped after I'd already walked nearly a block. She walked with me the rest of the way to my music teachers house who was appalled by the sight she saw on her front step. My teacher called my parents who came and took me to the hospital where I spent the next eight hours laying on a table listening to "plink, plink, plink" and finally received more stitches. The plink was the sound of the gravel being picked out of my face and dropped into a metal pan. Finally the doctor stitched me up and told me to skate it off. My nose had to be sewn back down to my lip and my cheek had been torn so that too had to be sewn back together. Half my face looked fine while the other half looked like hamburger helper.
Age 13, while night skiing I was challenged to a race. I was winning handily when all of a sudden my ski jumped into my mouth. There was a log on the edge of the trail that, being dark, I did not see. I got up, touched my lip and asked "Am I bleeding?". My opponent confirmed that I was indeed bleeding and made it known that he was doing all he could to stay conscious. I put my skis on and skied it off. Ok, I skied down to the lodge where they had to sew my cheek back together again, this time on the other side.
Age 15, chopping wood for the camp fire I started screwing around and ended up with a hatchet in my shin. It hurt a lot. I asked my buddy for something to help stop the bleeding and wasn't terribly excited when he offered me his sock. I took it anyway and was able to quell the flow of blood. Skate it off? Hell's yeah I went cliff jumping later that afternoon and never gave it much though thereafter.
I have numerous other minor scars from playing soccer, hunting, fishing, mountain biking, cliff jumping, etc but those are the ones that are easiest to see. Surprisingly enough, even with all the needlework and having had half my face scraped off I don't have any scars that really jump out at you, in other words, you really have to look for them.
Maybe I was a tad accident prone. I prefer to think that living the active and exciting life I had I earned the battle scars I have. Scars are cool, chicks dig em (or something). The most important thing to remember is that earning a scar may require some pain, and to that I say, skate it off you pussy.
User Reviews
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-12 19:16:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, we might have been in the same gang as kids...I think it was the 'Stitches.'
I've had multiple stiches; undecided as to my favorite. Either the 12 in my forehead from playing 'Fonzie' on a tricycle or the fishing lure that got stuck in my forehead?
I've got graphite in both of my knees one from tackling someone with a pencil in their back pocket and one from trying to grind the tip of a pencil into my desk...it slipped.
Good Post man, I'm gonna read your stuff from now on.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-12 16:14:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-08-12 16:10:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
seems like natural selection tried and tried and tried but it just wouldn't happen.
entertaining stories though
Nice...... that's funny, i think.
Like I said though, the Irony is the fact that I never got hurt doing the truly stoopid stuff I did.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-08-12 16:10:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
seems like natural selection tried and tried and tried but it just wouldn't happen.
entertaining stories though
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-12 16:04:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn I forgot to mention that I still have a piece of graphite pencil in my hand from first grade (read 20+ years ago). I was flipping a pencil and catching it, I missed on the last time so I still have this black spot on the palm of my hand. I am researching the long term effects of graphite implants or something.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-12 15:58:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-12 15:41:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
This was the biggest piece of shit I've ever read
----------------
wow, normally you are so mild mannered, sorta out of character for you
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-12 15:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-12 15:37:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2005-08-12 15:35:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey there -
Your book posted today by Xpress Post.
I'm sorry. I suck.
Will do better with the next, I promise.
satchel
thanks for letting me know. S'all good. I knocked yours back in about a week so I'll have plenty of time to finish the next. B
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2005-08-12 15:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey there -
Your book posted today by Xpress Post.
I'm sorry. I suck.
Will do better with the next, I promise.
satchel
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-08-12 15:03:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Scartastic!
Actually.. i almost wrote a post like this last night. Luckily I didn't because you have way more battle scars.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-12 14:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-12 14:01:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
you're lucky you havn'e eliminated yourself from the genepool yet...
lucky? we'll see. I'm somewhat less likely to experience these kinds of accidents now that I am a "responsible adult" or something. I just don't do the stupid shit I used to. Actually now that I write this the irony is that I never got hurt from the truly stupid shit I did.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-12 14:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're lucky you havn'e eliminated yourself from the genepool yet...
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-08-12 13:34:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a south GA redneck. I've skated off buckshot before. Among many other things.
Good post/reply.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-08-12 12:54:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have many a scar with tons of stories to go with them all. Some say I am accident prone, but I like to think that I live on the edge and happen to slip and fall off every now and again.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-08-12 11:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sometimes, i hurt myself to make sure i still feel pain too.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-12 11:30:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-08-12 11:28:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't fuck around. That's some damage.
I used to console myself by saying i'd never broken anything. Last fall, coaching a soccer team I sprained my bad ankle (sprained many times before). Went and had x-rays and the doctor says "Well it's not broken, I see you've broken it once before though". Apparently one of the times I sprained it I'd really broken it and never knew. It's a wonder I'm alive sometimes.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-08-12 11:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't fuck around. That's some damage.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-08-12 11:22:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You sure do like skating a lot dontcha'?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-12 11:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-12 10:57:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2
p.s. I still dislike you
Whatever, I personally don't have feelings for you one way or the other. Thanks for reading/rating though.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-08-12 10:57:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto plus 2 for scars and injuries.
Chicks seem to run when I show them my scar though. Bitches. That circumcision hurt.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-12 10:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2
p.s. I still dislike you
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-08-12 10:38:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.