Monstrous Politics (644 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Fiction
Rating: 2 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (View user info) at 2005-08-13 18:10:26 EDT
The yearly gathering of the Night Tribes went exactly as one would expect. Badly. Seating was the worst problem, of course. You couldn't sit the Werewolves by the Changelings, or by the Fey. The former would erupt into battle, and the latter into diner. The Vampires wanted nothing to do with the Ghouls, who liked to follow them around and the Gargoyles couldn't stand the Fallen Demons. (Old religious rivalry.) The Necromancers annoyed the Djinn, and no one wanted to be sat by the Zombies. It was a logistical nightmare.
The Necro-Avatar sighed. Things hadn't gotten off to a good start. A Werewolf had been seen at the bar with a Fairy wing caught in his fangs. A vampire prince told some of the Fey, who broke into screeching demands of censurement. The Djinn and The Fallen Demons had been playing a game of pin the arm on the Zombie, but had accidentally grabbed a Ghoul. (This kind of mistake happened often, but no one wanted to fess up.)
The Necro-Avatar, Gareth, stood at the podium, and pushed away his microphone. As the demi-god elected to watch over the Mortally Challenged Citizens of America, his job was not envied. Most of the time was spent baby-sitting, like now. He had to listen to petty grudges and territory disputes. He straightened his tie. He had wanted to cancel this year's little convention, but the upper brass wouldn't hear of it. Ceremony and tradition. Of course, those old bastards didn't have to be in the thick of it.
Gareth didn't think that any thing could top last years event. It had been held in Marseilles, France, home to at least half a dozen vampire convens. A clan of redneck werewolves from the southern United States had caused quite a headache. Seemed human politics were still big with the Night Tribes in the western world. At least, in the end, the body count had been in the single digits.
"Excuse me, sire."
Gareth turned to see a Ghoul to his right. It's eyes were bulging almost out of their sockets and it had filed it's teeth down to pointy nubs. A shock of yellow-blond hair stood out in contrast to its gray pallor. The creature was someone relatively important in the Ghoul community. Gareth smiled as he desperately tried to remember its name.
"Yes, can I help you?"
The Ghoul grinned widely, showing off his chompers. It was all for show, as Gareth noticed him dry washing his hands.
"Yes, well... a number of my associates were wondering if perhaps, if it would be possible, mind you we were just wondering..."
Micha? Mikail? Malakia? Gareth could not remember the fucker's name.
"... about the seating, that is. We would welcome the chance, ney, be honored if we had the choice, well not a choice per say, but the distinction..."
Moloch? Maelifick? Mochly? God damn it.
"... The seating is such a burden to your most holiness. Not that anything so troubles the Necro-Avatar as something as petty as this! It is just to say, the Blood Hunters just not be subjected to the presence of such lowly persons as..."
Gareth blinked. "You want to sit by the Vampires?"
The Ghoul made a strange gurgling sound. Gareth wasn't sure if it was a sound of pleasure or despair. Either way, the creature didn't seem use to such direct statements. He sighed. How could he stay diplomatic while telling the Ghoul that the Vampires would throw a complete hissy fit if sat beside the cannibals?
"I'll see what I can do, my friend."
The Ghoul began breathing rapidly through its mouth, and nodded. It bowed about three times, almost falling off the stage where his podium sat. Gareth resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
At least his job hadn't been anywhere as complicated as his more recent predecessors. The Undead Citizen's Right Act of 2012 had legally addressed the existence of Vampires, Zombies and Ghouls. It wasn't soon after that Werewolves and Changelings had stepped forward. Now all the members of the Night Tribes were recognized as legitimate citizens by most of the United Nations. How they had conventions like this back in the day, Gareth had no idea. To gather this many monsters in secret seemed impossible.
The UCRA had been written mostly to boost the world's economy. Vampire princes were ridiculously rich, and with their treasures now protected by the governments, they could buy company shares and employees. Military Black Op. teams made entirely of Gargoyles didn't hurt either.
The Djinn now sold their wishes over the internet by credit card, and the Fey practically ran the US's entertainment industry. Necromancers raised the dead at Halloween parties, and Zombies ate most of the toxic waste left over by chemical manufacturers. Everyone had made out, and found their place in the New World.
Gareth straitened his tie again. Most of the Night Tribes had wandered in for the last meeting of the day. They were going to go over the trade agreements with the Deavas and Tengu of Asia. Relatively boring stuff. He tapped the microphone to make sure it was on.
"Welcome again to the 2020 Night Tribes conclave here in Cleveland, Ohio."
What was that damn Ghoul's name?
User Reviews
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-17 12:45:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanted there to be more.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-15 16:57:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
do more with this shit...
Submitted by goose (user info) at 2005-08-15 09:30:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Would vampire princes really be caught dead (pardon the pun) in Cleveland?
I like the idea of a redneck werewolf, though.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-15 07:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good crack, very good crack indeed.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2005-08-14 20:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-14 19:22:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-08-14 12:05:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heheheheh. I like it.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-14 09:10:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very, very cool.
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-08-14 04:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:D
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-08-13 22:21:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The ghoul picture is of Shlongy. But the ghoul appears to have slightly more hair and a less vapid facial expression than "shlorty".
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-08-13 19:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-13 18:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
that's good stuff.