Farting in Front of 20,000 People (653 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by WrightCopy (View user info) at 2005-08-15 08:52:21 EDT
I'm bored on a Sunday night and I'm waiting until it's a decent time to go to bed, so instead of doing anything useful, I go to Ubersite. I click on the posts that have kept me interested the past few days, see if there are any more funny comments. My boyfriend makes some comment about how I read Ubersite too much. I read Nath's post "August - Month of Uber No Hopers?" http://www.ubersite.com/m/73178 and say to myself "Yeah, he has a point, people have been kinda stupid recently, I'm glad I haven't contributed to that yet."
Lo and behold, only about five minutes later, I find out that I have. I go back to the front page, start glancing at the titles and users, and see my name. At first, I think, "Is someone making fun of me and using my name?" I click on the user info and discover that, no, it really is me, or rather it's my user name. Then it all makes sense. The Anchorman quotes, the making fun of me. My head jerks over to my boyfriend and I ask, "Did you post something using my name on Uber?" He laughs, because it's all fun and games to him, and confesses. He wanted to see if I really read everything that appeared on the front page. And I got pissed off at him. "But dear, it's just a website, no one knows you nor do they care." Yeah, I know, I know, but it still pissed me off. I couldn't explain it last night when he asked me if I was angry, but I've realized exactly what it is I'm feeling: embarrassment.
I remember once seeing on some TV show (I actually think it was Beakman's World... yeah, this was a while ago) that the three most common phobias are the fears of heights, bugs, and speaking in front of people. I have all three. And speaking on Ubersite is like speaking in front of a large crowd. There are a possible 20,000+ people on here and everything I say is visible to every single one of you. Therefore, I try to say something that won't come off as retarded because, for whatever reason, being thought of as a retard by 20,000 people I don't know really bothers me. Here's how I think of it. I'm walking on stage and I'm about to make a speech in front of 20,000 people I don't know. I get to the mic, stand in front of it, and before a word comes out of my mouth, I fart. And now 20,000 people only know me as the kid that farted on stage in front of everyone. And to add insult to injury, someone goes and says 45 minutes after my fart, "Wow, there are a bunch of fartin' retards around here recently." It's a great feeling to know that I'm one of those retards now.
So, specifically in light of Nath's post and any others like it, I apologize for farting in front of you all. It was rude, it was stupid, and I'll try to hold it in next time.
User Reviews
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-15 09:46:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"I'm sorry a shit post of mine bumped some good stuff off the front page. Here, Have this trite apology that knocks more good stuff off the front page"
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-15 09:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In your general direction!
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-08-15 08:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha fair game don't worry. Post what you like. I do, sometimes it goes down well sometimes it doesn't. I always have my fun and that's all that matters!