I think I got abducted. (442 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Maz <Mazellan666.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-08-15 09:43:43 EDT
Oh no. Oh no is all that can be said on the matter.
I wake up one morning in my garden (after dreaming about shooting stars and stars that change their constellations) to find myself a little bit worse than I usually am. I counted about fifteen bruises, 3 cuts and a rather nasty looking burn.
I have a theory as to how I got so broken.................
I go outside at about midnight to admire the stars and whatnot, when all off a sudden I see the neighbour glowing and walking towards his little garaged shed thing at the bottom of his garden. Slightly pissed I think slowly to myself. Wait a minute, he shouldn't be glowing. I am a curious one, so off I stumble, as quietly as my inebriated feet will take me to the bottom of my garden, where I begin to hear a strange ringing in my ears. Something not so normal is afoot here my brain tells me, I am inclined to trust it, so I tread carefully and quietly. Until off course my clumsy, drunk, now alien probed feet fall over the nearest loudest thing they can. This happens to be a plastic watering can.
*eerie music (which I'm sure would be playing if this was a film)*
The back gate is flung open and there is the disfigured shape of our neighbour. Oh Donald I am ashamed of you, how could you succumb to these alien meanies. On either side of him loom the dastardly creatures themselves. Phew I thought, they have really little heads, this MUST mean that their brains are really little and they will not know what to do with a pissed teenage girl looking up at them from her garden path. Only apparently the alcohol seems to have slowed my brain down and once I am finished thinking this I am already being escorted back to their Ship.
Once on the ship I cannot remember what happened. But I bet it was just as scary as the beginning of my encounter.
Now you will hear the story of the cynics, the ones who do not believe that I was abducted. My friend seems to think that my drunken state may have caused me to fall over (reason for the bruises and cuts) and burnt my self as a result of my clumsy handling of a lit joint. The alien story she thinks came from me reading a book called "Mysteries of the unexplained" a few days previous to my encounter. Which incidentally does have a section on alien abductions. COINCIDENCE.
I know that I was abducted and I am determined to get into that state this Saturday and lure them back again. I will drink for the sake of mankind's progression.
User Reviews
Submitted by Gundam-Girl (user info) at 2005-08-17 15:47:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
-_- fi you have serious probs my friend, (this is from courts)
Ok, i thought the pogoin was enough, but wht on earth has happend to you! lack of socialisation!!! u need to get out more huni ! x x (from guess who lol)
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-15 15:54:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
does your asshole hurt?
If yes, you were 'abducted'...
Submitted by Chunker (user info) at 2005-08-15 11:03:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
bollocks - all that can be said on the matter
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-08-15 10:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
.bmp makes the pixilated baby Jesus cry.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-08-15 10:03:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This could have been done sooooo much better.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-08-15 10:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wore my extra loose pants for nothing. Nothing!
dagnammit
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2005-08-15 09:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i shit myself....
no seriously. i shit myself.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-08-15 09:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by mazellan (user info) at 2005-08-15 09:44:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
I cant help the bitmap. Sorry.
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Unless you're still on your Commodore 64, you can help the bitmap.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2005-08-15 09:48:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Why not? Did your copy of Windows not come with Paint?
Submitted by mazellan (user info) at 2005-08-15 09:44:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I cant help the bitmap. Sorry.