Frozen Moments (296 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.6 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hirgon (View user info) at 2005-08-15 10:16:23 EDT
She walks towards her car, hips swaying gently as she flips her car keys around her finger. Her dark hair, held back by a multi-coloured headband blowing gently in the breeze. The bounce in her step from a morning spent running around playing soccer with some friends.
I freeze up, and see the world in a completely frozen moment. The smiles and laughs on my friends faces. The soccer ball suspended in mid air. Water droplets suspended from a water bottle, sparkling like little rainbows in the sun. A light peck on the lips, smiling as their lips meet, between two young lovebirds. A bird frozen between wingbeats, beak open in a silent scream.
I walked up behind her. Time unfroze, and the soccer ball thunked into the ground. A smile on my face, I asked for her number.
Time passes. Hours. Days. Each hour crawling like a snail across the garden path, the number burning a hole in my pocket, but never falling down my pant leg. Always burning. The time comes. I grasp the sheet of paper, scrawled with a few digits. It is strangely cool in my hand, no longer burning like a fiery molten boulder. A slight smile whisks across my face as I raise the phone to my ear.
The world enters the frozen moment. They are oddly soothing, with infinite possiblities. They are my friend, and I become one with the moment, savouring it. I ponder the girl I am about to call, and grow warm inside, smiling inwardly.
The phone hits my ear suddenly, the moment ends. The tone pulses once, twice. An answer, she is talking to me.
I freeze. The world freezes with me once more. I consider what it is I am doing, what to say. How to say it. Why I am saying it. A dust mote hangs suspended in the air in front of my eyes, and the dog is stopped mid-leap on the way to the couch. I know what to say, and how to say it. I am confident, and the moment is mine.
A shuddering vibration as my ear drum finishes the last words of her greeting. I calmly say hello, the conversation continues without pause, back and forth as we talk easily. A time, a place and a pick-up location are all set. The smile one my face is so large it is threatening to take my head off into its cavernous grin.
More time passes. Minutes, blending into hours, and then into days. A blur of actions and images, but all unimportant.
Driving in my car, tapping my fingers against the wheel as I sing along to the music. The soothing vibration of the freeway underneath calming me. Indicators flashing on, glowing like a whole host of drunken fireflies. Brake lights shine out, screaming their silent warning to the world.
I pull up in front of her house, with a small picket fence and an overgrown bush. The yard is covered by a light green blanket of grass, keeping the earth warm in its slumber. My feet hit the pavement, the door latch shutting behind with a firm metallic sound. I walk towards the green door, with its small number of broken paint patches in the bottom left corner. The sound changes, as my feet traverse from pavement to wooden planks, making a clunking sound as if I were a pirate on a wooden ship.
The door opens. I smile. The moment freezes.
The world is as it should be.
User Reviews
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-08-15 14:19:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-15 12:49:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-08-15 12:26:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
This deserves more attention.
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No it doesn't, if I read another post about 'moments' or with 'moments' in the title I'm gonna unleash a -2nami. The whole thing is getting too hackneyed.
The writing was acceptable.
Submitted by BusinessMan (user info) at 2005-08-15 12:49:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very nice
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-08-15 12:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This deserves more attention.
Submitted by Mr-Boo (user info) at 2005-08-15 10:21:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad. A little too descriptive for my liking. Made my brain want to wander while I was reading it.