Ubersite
Home - About Us - Contact
"Work is the scourge of the drinking classes." - Oscar Wilde
Welcome to Ubersite!
Search Ubersite
Search for:

Most Recently Reviewed
  1. I'm jumping on the switch-...
  2. I never said I was pretty....
  3. lNSTANT BRET-SELLER!!!
  4. Dear Uberers of NYC and Gr...
  5. You assholes should be ash...
  6. Fat Tony's return: Now wit...
  7. Different Types of Vagina ...
  8. Holes.
  9. CuteMadness - 08
  10. I Would Like to Have a Neg...
more...
Most Heated
  1. Holes. (201 heat)
  2. Uber Haiku Time!! (147 heat)
  3. Dear Uberers of NYC and Gr... (125 heat)
  4. Something REALLY Stinks In... (71 heat)
  5. I Need And Want The Mens P... (67 heat)
  6. The Shatner/Lee Incident (... (65 heat)
  7. Just….some stuff (59 heat)
  8. I'm jumping on the switch-... (56 heat)
  9. lNSTANT BRET-SELLER!!! (48 heat)
  10. A Bitch and Her Dog (47 heat)
more...
Most Viewed Messages
  1. The Ultimate MS Paint: It... (1149611 hits)
  2. "If I cum now, will it be ... (707850 hits)
  3. Exploiting Peer-to-Peer Ne... (387792 hits)
  4. How To Pick Up Chicks (328699 hits)
  5. Motivating the Weekend (310343 hits)
  6. Knockoff porn movie titles (303794 hits)
  7. My J-Date Misadventure (288291 hits)
  8. Licking A Bum's Ass (252365 hits)
  9. Badass Australian Cows (248423 hits)
  10. Totally Useless Facts (233567 hits)
more...
Most Viewed Authors
  1. Bart Cilfone (1471649 hits)
  2. Stanley Moore (1450915 hits)
  3. Razor (1412779 hits)
  4. JMG114 (1392239 hits)
  5. MickGinny (1296608 hits)
  6. loki (1069904 hits)
  7. Jonukah (986296 hits)
  8. weeeeep (933362 hits)
  9. Most Hated (929318 hits)
  10. Cat Crooner Extraordinaire (894745 hits)
  11. Ubersite needs me! (888192 hits)
  12. Abortions Tickle (886024 hits)
  13. Tom (838657 hits)
  14. Sideburns, MUHFUCKA (816776 hits)
  15. apollo88 (775235 hits)
  16. T+I+G+E+R (764174 hits)
  17. oy vey (763248 hits)
  18. Sorrell (751539 hits)
  19. Satan is my Motor (696066 hits)
  20. Alter 5694™ (695225 hits)
  21. RON PAUL 2008! (692222 hits)
  22. HIDDEN101 (690220 hits)
  23. User Blocked (650202 hits)
  24. Phil Phone (647848 hits)
  25. TTOM88 (637716 hits)
  26. iddqd (626972 hits)
  27. kaos-king (611951 hits)
  28. comicbookguy (605324 hits)
  29. ♥ (588811 hits)
  30. O (584311 hits)
Click here to return to the list of messages.

After the Pandemic: Lem and Amelia (503 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 2 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by scupa (View user info) at 2005-08-16 04:38:50 EDT


Recently, there has been a surge again and I thought I would write some more...

The first 2

Intro http://www.ubersite.com/m/68959

Part 2 http://www.ubersite.com/m/69473

Thanks Jack for the great idea and to thecaes for writing inspiration.



The music thumped and pounded all around them. It was so loud in the club that it was difficult to talk to anyone unless you put your tongue in their ear. Lem was dancing with a Thai girl both his thumbs slipped underneath her thong their crotches gyrating in tandem and his tongue in her mouth rather than her ear. At this point they didn't have too much to say to each other. She grabbed one of his hands from her ass and started dragging him towards the bathroom. Lem spotted Amelia and winked at her while thrusting his hips back and forth and mouthing "Oh Yeah!" as he hustled to keep up with her.

Amelia watched Lem disappear into the grungy toilet with what she would refer to as a Thai hooker. She had given up on her date after the alcohol had worn off enough to help her realize he looked like the Japanese version of Dorf. Would Lem realize he was taking a man into the bathroom before or after he got head? She couldn't wait to tell him.

"Oh yeah, baby. Show me what you got!" Lem groaned. This was taking longer than normal, the girls usually had his package out and were halfway finished in the time it was taking this one to get started. He guessed he could help her out a bit by whipping it out, he was a stand-up guy after all. His hands went down to undo his zipper and it came to him that the girl was leaning against his crotch. "Fuck!" he yelled. The girl had passed out. Lem pulled her head back to wake her and looked into her wide-open eyes. Damn! She obviously didn't know her limit. He backed up and opened the door to leave the bathroom and the girl's body thunked heavily to floor. He kneeled beside her and rolled her face up, she didn't seem to be breathing. He put his hand close to her mouth but didn't feel any air passing through her lips or nose.

"Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me..." Lem repeated to himself. What could he do? He forgot CPR years ago. He bent down and slapped her hard hoping he could somehow wake her from the dead. Nothing happened.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He screamed under his breath. He ran the water and filled his hands splashing first his face and then throwing water on the corpse in the bathroom. Cold water always made him feel better after drinking, he wanted it to work for the Thai girl. He kept splashed water in her direction.

"Stop it, fucker..." Holy shit! She wasn't dead! Lem thanked Christ, Buddha, and any other God he could think of.

"You're alright!" Lem shouted with relief. "You know, you were passed out pretty bad, I was a little worried about you." He bent down to help her stand up and put her arm around his shoulders to bolster her weight. They got up together and walked towards the door to leave the bathroom. To his surprise she wasn't stumbling at all, she wasn't even leaning on him that much.

"You recover pretty quickly, don't you?" he chuckled to her. He had been so worried; he thought she was dead! He couldn't wait to tell Eli this story.

"Yeah, thanks handsome." She said grinning at him. Her teeth were gleaming in the darkness and Lem saw that a couple of them looked like fangs. He couldn't remember feeling those with his tongue. He surely would have cut himself. It wasn't unattractive in the least, in fact it turned him on a little bit.

"My what big teeth you have, grandma." Lem snickered. "Want to come back to my place for a picnic?"

She smiled at him again. What a pretty girl, Lem thought. She tightened her arm around his shoulders and leaned in towards him. He puckered up, fully expecting to get laid that evening.

"What the fu...?"

He felt an intense pain in his shoulder. He pushed her off of him and saw blood pouring from his shoulder and dripping from the Thai girl's lips. His mind raced as he backed up slowly. She was cornering him against a table.

"Come on, baby. Let's dance!" She cooed wriggling her hips and clapping her hands.

"Get away from me, you crazy bitch..." Lem could barely find his voice. One of his hands had reached behind him unconsciously searching for something with which to defend himself. The girl jumped forward, cackling horrendously with her mouth open, a red mess. Lem's arm swung up and he heard a gruesome cracking sound as the wine bottle he was holding connected with her forehead snapping her neck and leveling her to the ground like she had been hit by a truck. He stared at her body sickened and strangely captivated by the unnatural angle at which her neck twisted.


Amelia smiled to herself as she watched Lem disappear into the bathroom. She turned back to the bar and sipped what was left of her gin and tonic.

"Hey... nice... legs..." A man growled from behind her.

Amelia giggled a bit. These guys were getting desperate.

"Mmm...neck...tasty"

So there was more than one! She hadn't even turned around and she was attracting a crowd of horny guys.

"...hungry..."

She guessed she was going to have to deal with these cretins, collect Lem, and get the hell out of this place.

"Listen, fellas," she started as she turned to face them eyes closed to keep herself from laughing. "I'm flattered that you are so interested, but..." Amelia stuttered as she opened her eyes and saw three men advancing slowly towards her. Their eyes were jaundiced and bloodshot and they stumbled shakily towards her.


"Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem!" The shrill cry shook Lem from his trance and he looked up to see Amelia shaking an umbrella at an advancing crowd of monsters. He felt the rage build up slowly as the blood dripped from his shoulder down his arm and off of the wine bottle he still held. He charged the three men surrounding his friend kicking the first guy in the back so hard he flew over Amelia who looked on in shock as he crashed into the bar behind her. The wine bottle circled in a vicious arc caving in the head of the would-be suitor to the left as he destroyed the other's knee with heel kick. Amelia was still staring wide eyed in disbelief when Lem grabbed her by the arms and dragged her outside.

They burst through the entrance and Lem was aghast at the chaos he saw in the streets. It looked like something out of a B-horror movie. He heard screams close and far and was mortified to see what looked like groups of people eating the dead who had fallen. There were many cars, mostly mercedes and beamers, scattered all over the place some even on fire burning slowly. The drivers were either slumped over the steering wheel or, Lem guessed, out wandering the streets.

"Amelia! Let's go!" Lem shouted.

"What the hell is going on, Lem?" She asked in a panic stricken voice.

"I don't know, but we've got to concentrate! Fuck, mum, keep it together! I have a feeling this isn't going to get any better."

"OK, OK," Amelia said calming down. "What are we going to do?"

"Lets find a car and get the hell outta here. We gotta get Eli."

They ran over to a nearby SL 600 with a man still inside. The car wasn't smoking but the front was dented from its collision with a lamppost. The driver was still inside and woke up a little when Lem took his arm. Lem dragged him out of the way of car and told Amelia to get in.

"Alright, lets get the fuck out of this hellhole." He said as he closed door. He thought about putting on his seatbelt for a second and then reached for the ignition.

"Hey, mum, you see the keys near you?"

"Huh? Oh! Let me check." Amelia was still in a little bit of a daze. Lem thought she was probably going through shock so he didn't press her. He looked around his feet and felt around all the little nooks but he couldn't feel anything. He turned around to look in the back seat there was...

"Nothing." Amelia said flatly.

"Goddam, motherfuckin, piece of shi..." Lem looked out the window as he swore and saw the man he had just dragged out of the car stand up slowly. The keys dropped from his hand and he met Lem's eyes.

"Stay in the car, mum. I'll be right back."

"Don't leave me here! Are you crazy?" Amelia had a wild look in her eye and she was already scrabbling for the door.

"I said stay here." He said quietly. She looked at him and decided it would be better not to argue this time. Lem got out of the car and walked toward the man.

"Listen, friend, I'm sorry about the car. I thought you were already dead. There's enough room for all of us, we can get out of here together." The man, still staring at Lem, made no response and continued moving towards him. Lem put his hands up to defend himself, he had been in plenty of brawls before and most people couldn't fight to save their worthless hides. He had also been taking karate since he was 6 years old. He gauged his opponent, slow moving, and making no effort whatsoever to protect his vitals.

"There's no need to fight. Lets just clear out of ..." The man lunged forward, much quicker than a man who had been half dead a moment ago should be able to, both arms extended and let out a gurgled cry. Lem was surprised but reacted instinctively punching the man directly in the nose. Bone and cartilage collapsed as the thing fell to the ground and started writhing. Lem looked down, and then to his fist; pieces of the man's face were stuck to his hand. He shook his hand in disgust and ran over to get the keys.

"Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me!" Amelia screamed in fright when Lem opened the driver side door.

"Take it easy, mum, we're getting out of here." Lem turned the keys and car came weakly to life. He watched in amazement as the man he had just flattened got up and started walking towards a body lying on the ground. He had to find Elijah and make sure he was OK.


ropponginight.jpg (126 kB)

Submit to Digg Submit to StumbleUpon

User Reviews


Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2005-08-19 00:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Thanks for the feedback, I have a couple more ideas I want to incorporate... though my friend read and said it could be a little more exciting. What do you think, and I know this is terrible but, how could I make it more exciting?

Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-08-17 01:01:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hey, nice installment. I forgot all about this series.

My only major complaint is that you need to add punctuation marks in here and there. You've got a couple of really run-on sentences.

Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:56:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Nice Work. I'm glad to see ATP making a come back.


Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Schweeeeeet

Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:19:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Nice.

Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-08-16 05:00:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Cool, very cool.


Michael:
Hi. I'm Michael Jackson, from The Jacksons.

Homer: I'm Homer Simpson, from the Simpsons.

Stark Raving Dad