Wanna bag a bitch? (3929 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.44 on 199 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Paul Hibbert (View user info) at 2005-08-16 05:40:12 EDT
Ever need to get laid so bad that your cock has packed its balls and is planning to try its luck attached to a frequenter of your local radio club? Course you have you're on the Internet; at least that guy has a hobby.
Ever find that girls always go for the bad guy? You wanna know why?
Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls you, yes you have the potential to be 'the bad guy'- if you have the balls. Which of course you don't because they're currently being selotaped to an unconscious geek by your rabid disgruntled penis. However I shall continue this lesson in futility for my own amusement.
Rule number 1. Don't ever offer to buy her a drink; a) She'll drink it, b) She'll ask for another one, c) She'll leave with the guy that called her "bitch", flicked his cigarette at her and didn't buy her a drink.
You wanna know why? Women are fucking idiots- get over it.
Rule number 2. Belittle her constantly; a) She'll lap it up, b) she'll ask for more, c) She'll leave with the guy that called her "bitch", flicked his cigarette at her and didn't buy her a drink.
Why buy her a drink when you can abuse her for free?
Rule number 3. Stop listening to shit music, women don't think you're deep just because you look miserable and wear black. Women don't think at all. They're kinda just like an attractive housing for chemical imbalances and hormones- you'll do well to remember that.
Rule number 4. Don't talk about them. Contrary to popular belief women don't want to talk about themselves, they just want to bitch about each other and wear makeup. Best thing generally is to not talk to them at all. Just make snide comments whenever she says something stupid and laugh so hard that you spit at her and her mindless gaggle of fucked up friends.
Rule number 5. Sneer, it worked for Elvis, it'll work for you. Sneering makes women crazy because She'll assume you're going to treat her like crap. Women want to be treated like crap so that they can relish the challenge of turning you into a love-pansy over the coming years and then dump you for a guy who'll call her "Bitch", flick his cigarette at her and never buy her a drink. This is known as the menstrual cycle.
Rule number 6. Keep up the good work otherwise look forward to the tail end of Rule number 5. followed shortly by a stint in rule number 3. You are not part of her cycle and don't you forget it.
Once you've bagged your lady be sure to heed the following advice...
Women love a drunk, especially an abusive angry drunk. Getting out of your brain on cheap cider and shouting abuse at her is a quintessential part of your relationship, it will also let your partner know you are the boss and that you require oral sex if she doesn't want yet another beating.
I've been with my mindless bag of hormones for a couple of weeks now and it's easy to forget that she's not a person. If you find yourself believing her bullshit then it's time to leave; if there was any such thing as love then you wouldn't have been born with a cock.
Follow these simple steps and you too can look forward to a long and happy sex life with many varied partners, and just remember: you're not having sex for her, there is no such thing as a female orgasm, and even if there was- who gives a fuck?
Remember loser: Nice guys finish last.
User Reviews
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-08-20 04:24:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-08-19 21:09:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-08-19 19:33:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-08-19 19:03:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish I had the balls to be a shithead.
***
A-FUCKING-MEN
i think i'm going to start doing so, too...
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-08-19 19:03:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The beauty of treating a girl like shit is that:
a) you put no effort in
b) if on occasion you treat her half-decently, it'll get a bigger reaction than if you always treated her nicely and then bought her something special
I wish I had the balls to be a shithead.
Submitted by spamtrap50 (user info) at 2005-08-19 18:56:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-08-19 18:42:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
On a side note, if you're capable of sleeping with yourself after treating every woman you see like complete shit, you probably won't have to sleep with yourself at all.
That is to say, for what it's worth... if you're happy with meaningless non-relationships with sexy but slutty girls who don't really give a fuck about you personally and will leave you the minute that a badder or more famous bad ass turns up, do what wolfie here said. It WILL- mark these words, WILL get you fine tail.
But for what it's worth, none of those relationships are really worth more than a good stroking for your dick and your ego.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-08-19 18:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
8. Wanna bag a bitch? (69 heat)
Plus two.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-19 11:06:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not a sociopath.
I just speak with my subconscience.
I liked you!
I still do.
Rape.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-19 05:39:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-08-19 05:25:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-19 04:10:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Boon (user info) at 2005-08-19 03:38:08 (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny, but overdone.
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Everything you ever wanted to know about Boon
User id: 19881
Registered on or around: 2005-06-20 16:46:34
-How the fuck would you know?
You know Boon backwards spells Noob right? ""
hahahhahaha
You are all a bunch of n00bs in here.
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he he he... Where's that Dent fellow...
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-08-19 05:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-19 04:10:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Boon (user info) at 2005-08-19 03:38:08 (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny, but overdone.
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Everything you ever wanted to know about Boon
User id: 19881
Registered on or around: 2005-06-20 16:46:34
-How the fuck would you know?
You know Boon backwards spells Noob right? ""
hahahhahaha
You are all a bunch of n00bs in here.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-08-19 05:04:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for the reviews alone.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-19 04:10:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Boon (user info) at 2005-08-19 03:38:08 (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny, but overdone.
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Everything you ever wanted to know about Boon
User id: 19881
Registered on or around: 2005-06-20 16:46:34
-How the fuck would you know?
You know Boon backwards spells Noob right?
Submitted by Boon (user info) at 2005-08-19 03:38:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny, but overdone.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2005-08-18 17:54:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have to say, the sneer has worked wonders for myself this summer....and school starts in a few weeks, which means freshmen!!
Submitted by cheruboo (user info) at 2005-08-18 16:48:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Believe it or not this shit works. I used to be a pussy, then about 2 years ago I turned into an asshole. Women aren't smart, wussy guys give them too much credit and that's their first mistake. If your decent looking and an asshole you'll be swimming in poon.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-08-18 11:41:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
POCK YOU MUST E-MAIL ME! IT IS OF THE GREATEST IMPORTANCE cookielass24.at.yahoo.com
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-18 05:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheGirlWithoutATitle (user info) at 2005-08-16 15:22:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 Bastardized, misogynistic excuse for a man.
+2 Funny.
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http://www.ubersite.com/m/64400 - this is my true understanding of women and relationships. The piece you have reviewed was sattirical.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-18 05:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-08-17 21:52:08 (#)
Ranking: 1
This has been done to death.
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Yeah I shot it in the balls first then personally buried it. I'm sure someone will drag it back out in the near future. And It'll probably be me.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-08-17 22:19:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They're kinda just like an attractive housing for chemical imbalances and hormones- you'll do well to remember that.
________________________
The horrifying thing is that this was true of my ex girlfriend.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-08-17 21:52:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This has been done to death.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Truer words were rarely spoken.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-08-16 23:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-16 23:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHA! Classic.
PS - You're a fag.
PPS - Just kidding.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-08-16 22:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:24:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
I AM THE GREATEST
YOU ARE ALL CUNTS.
(except for Dervel who's a cock and Mike who, being scottish, is beyond mere genetalia orientated categorisation)
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I wanna be a cunt like all the cool kids!
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2005-08-16 21:31:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA HA HA HA HA
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-08-16 20:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Sneer, it worked for Elvis"
HAHAHAHAHAAH
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-08-16 16:27:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Menstrual cycle. HA!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-16 15:51:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wrote more of this subject as well...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/50371
Submitted by TheGirlWithoutATitle (user info) at 2005-08-16 15:22:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 Bastardized, misogynistic excuse for a man.
+2 Funny.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-16 12:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Decent concept, written ok
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-16 11:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*snorts*
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-08-16 11:29:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-08-16 11:02:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
I love cock!
_________________
I knew it all along
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 11:22:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about Rad1101
Registered on or around: 2004-09-19 06:05:46
Everything you ever wanted to know about Spam
Registered on or around: 2004-09-18 11:42:22
Noob.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 11:20:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DON'T TYPE TO ME IN THAT TONE OF VOICE FLANGE MONKEY, I'D TEAR OFF MY PENIS AND BLUDGEON YOU TO DEATH WITH IF I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D ENJOY IT.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-16 11:11:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I HAVE A 1.07 YOU WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT YA CUNT?
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 11:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about apollo88
User id: 1507
Registered on or around: 2003-06-25 08:33:41
# Messages posted: 315
# Reviews written: 12121
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 10883
# Hits: 255336
Average rating of all messages: 1.08
Only 1.08??
hack.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-08-16 11:02:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
STFU n00bs!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 11:01:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm off home then. I must say I have thoroughly enjoyed chatting with all of you except Rasta who can suck my British dick, stupid Yank.
See you all Thursday.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:57:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:54:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you'll find the term is wardrobe american.
Closet is so colonial.
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WARdrobe? WARdrobe? We won the god damned War not you pesky Americans!!!!
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:54:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you'll find the term is wardrobe american.
Closet is so colonial.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:32:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:24:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
My rare yet beautiful thing. I hate seeing the banter. Oh Circe you're so important you am important.
________
Damn straight.
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you am important??? I would never say something so illiterate for I am the almighty and wonderous Pock, so almighty and wonderous that Ubersite would be a dingy little dank place full of nothing but Americans without me. I'd go as far as to say I'm the only reason British people stay here. Infact I'd go as far as to say I am the only true British person here. Everyone else is a closet American.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters...
Except Ser-Seeeeee....
If Queen said it it must me true.
Submitted by RandomJose (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:46:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You may have written this as a joke, but it sounds about right.
I one to never pass up a chance to linkwhore. http://www.ubersite.com/m/42056
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:32:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:24:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
My rare yet beautiful thing. I hate seeing the banter. Oh Circe you're so important you am important.
________
Damn straight.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WORD UP!
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Turns out he wasn't British at all! So he did end up getting laid!
Haaaa haaa.
<ahem> haa
<crickets chirp>
*cough*
OK, I'm leaving. Cause it is 10:29am and I am still drunk from last night
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:31:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ok no, I haven't go ahead.
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:28:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well have ya?
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:28:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:27:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, you guys heard that one about that British guy?
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I bet the jokes better than that one about the American guy
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:27:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, you guys heard that one about that British guy?
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:25:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That goes for Spam too.
And Plus2 for me cause this post was the best Ubersite has ever ever seen ever and totally original.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:24:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:21:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
I love it when Pock posts.
All the lunatics come crawling out of the woodwork to amuse ME, because I'm the most important person in the world.
And Pocks asks me to remove half of his girlfriend's brain.
I just want to point something out - I had time to go to dinner, get drunk, pick the kids up from the sitter, put them to bed, get drunker, and come back here while y'all have been entertaining each other.
It's a glorious thing.
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My posts are a rare yet beautiful thing. I hate seeing people plus2 me for my arguments and ignore the post though... Actually that's not remotely true. I think I only post for the sake of the banter. Oh yeah and Circe you're so self important you fail to realise I am more important than you.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:24:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I AM THE GREATEST
YOU ARE ALL CUNTS.
(except for Dervel who's a cock and Mike who, being scottish, is beyond mere genetalia orientated categorisation)
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:22:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Haven't had a serious battle of wits for ages."
Probably not the rasta guys fault.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:21:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love it when Pock posts.
All the lunatics come crawling out of the woodwork to amuse ME, because I'm the most important person in the world.
And Pocks asks me to remove half of his girlfriend's brain.
I just want to point something out - I had time to go to dinner, get drunk, pick the kids up from the sitter, put them to bed, get drunker, and come back here while y'all have been entertaining each other.
It's a glorious thing.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:16:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
wolf I wasnt directing my insults towards you. I shall start now if you like
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Who are the twats then? Is this a free for all?
I'm just messing with you fellers anyway, I just wish that rasta guy had hung around long enough to get properly mad with me. Haven't had a serious battle of wits for ages.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:19:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are we all insulting each other?
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-08-16 05:51:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
but I can not agree with the female orgasm comment... that there is the way you get them to praise the very ground you walk on.
Seriousily,
Girl 1: feed my toenails too, loves me
Girl 2: cheat on 6 times, break up with 4 times just to fuck other girls, loves me
Girl 3: Got drunk, threw her across room, gave herpes, LOVES ME
Girl 4: Smacked with math book, burned all her stuff, loves me
Girl 5: made fun of for trying to kill herself, laughed at her and her different boyfriends, loves me
the list goes on...
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I shant take advice from a child who wears SILVER PANTS!
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:16:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wolf I wasnt directing my insults towards you. I shall start now if you like
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:14:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:11:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:05:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:03:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
oh shit maybe its your sense of humour to act like angry self important twats and I just dont get it. I must need to broaden my horizons.
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is it still considered being self important when talking to Johnny foreigner?
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No no... we are superior under those circumstances.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Im completely lost with you guys now.
badassmofo have you been taking Alanis morissette lessons in irony ?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:13:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Spam - excuse my ignorance but I don't understand the question.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:05:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:03:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
oh shit maybe its your sense of humour to act like angry self important twats and I just dont get it. I must need to broaden my horizons.
---------
is it still considered being self important when talking to Johnny foreigner?
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:07:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:03:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
oh shit maybe its your sense of humour to act like angry self important twats and I just dont get it. I must need to broaden my horizons.
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coochycoo!!!! You're miles out, surely you don't think we're honest to goodness pleasant people??? We're nasty arrogant egotistical pricks. I don't have a humble bone in my body and don't you forget it!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:03:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
oh shit maybe its your sense of humour to act like angry self important twats and I just dont get it. I must need to broaden my horizons.
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irony.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:03:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:02:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
-
American.
-
African?
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Racist!!!!!!
---
Fascist
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:03:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh shit maybe its your sense of humour to act like angry self important twats and I just dont get it. I must need to broaden my horizons.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 10:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:58:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:57:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:55:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:53:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Who you are...who you are? What the fucking fuck does 'who you are' have to do with anything.
I've changed my mind based on your pretentious attitude, this post sucks.
--
you can almost TASTE the fury.
====
I don't even know what pretentious means...
-
American.
-
African?
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Racist!!!!!!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:57:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:55:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:53:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Who you are...who you are? What the fucking fuck does 'who you are' have to do with anything.
I've changed my mind based on your pretentious attitude, this post sucks.
--
you can almost TASTE the fury.
====
I don't even know what pretentious means...
-
American.
-
African?
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:57:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Search for pretentious on Uber and you'll probably find my camwhore.
Then again search for piss-taking Cunt and you'll probably stagger across it too.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:57:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:55:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:53:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Who you are...who you are? What the fucking fuck does 'who you are' have to do with anything.
I've changed my mind based on your pretentious attitude, this post sucks.
--
you can almost TASTE the fury.
====
I don't even know what pretentious means...
-
American.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:53:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Who you are...who you are? What the fucking fuck does 'who you are' have to do with anything.
I've changed my mind based on your pretentious attitude, this post sucks.
--
you can almost TASTE the fury.
====
I don't even know what pretentious means...
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:53:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Who you are...who you are? What the fucking fuck does 'who you are' have to do with anything.
I've changed my mind based on your pretentious attitude, this post sucks.
--
you can almost TASTE the fury.
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I know man, it was that guy I wanted to bate. What a fucking Yank
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't understand how you could think that I have been doing anything other than sitting here and laughing...the whole time.
Please don't stereotype me, you don't know me.
Ask Berty, I'm a cool guy...
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It's true, I'm half tempted to send him an email offering his family political asylum.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:53:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who you are...who you are? What the fucking fuck does 'who you are' have to do with anything.
I've changed my mind based on your pretentious attitude, this post sucks.
--
you can almost TASTE the fury.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:42:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
this exchange between badassmofo and mrwolf is such a perfect paradigm of trans-atlantic differences.
I cant understand how you seppos can possibly get angry while sitting behind your computer.
============================
I can't understand how you could think that I have been doing anything other than sitting here and laughing...the whole time.
Please don't stereotype me, you don't know me.
Ask Berty, I'm a cool guy...
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:42:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Whaddaya mean its a joke? It's fuckin relevant!
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:42:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this exchange between badassmofo and mrwolf is such a perfect paradigm of trans-atlantic differences.
I cant understand how you seppos can possibly get angry while sitting behind your computer.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:36:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
Congrats Mr. Wolf, I'm sure after the next update you'll surpass my post on the Heated List.
This was fun, excuse my initial curt as I just wanted in the frey.
Please do another one of these witty posts again one day so that I may join in again.
--
Fucking hell, in less than hour this guy developed something very closely resembling a sense of humour.
wonders will never cease.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:36:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Congrats Mr. Wolf, I'm sure after the next update you'll surpass my post on the Heated List.
This was fun, excuse my initial curt as I just wanted in the frey.
Please do another one of these witty posts again one day so that I may join in again.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:33:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:28:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
--
touche my picasso faced friend, you must be vertiably moist with pre-ejaculate after crafting that response.
======
You're kidding right? I am afflicted with RE, I came when I typed the first 'n'
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:21:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:15:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:13:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
noob noobie nooberson. newb noob, n00b?
=========================================
boob boobie booberson. bewb boob, b00b?
come on man keep us interested.
--
touche my picasso faced friend, you must be vertiably moist with pre-ejaculate after crafting that response.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:21:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yay, most heated! That was easy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
With a little help from your freinds.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:21:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yay, most heated! That was easy.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:21:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:15:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:13:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
noob noobie nooberson. newb noob, n00b?
=========================================
boob boobie booberson. bewb boob, b00b?
come on man keep us interested.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've already explained to you Arty, HITS, it's all about hits. They're like currency.
and err... g'day... I guess.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:17:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:15:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:13:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
noob noobie nooberson. newb noob, n00b?
---
huh?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh god aha ha ha ha...
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:13:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:10:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel like a fisting.
=========================
Um...ok...would you like a t - bag to go with that?
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Ok I'll admit that was pretty funny, but shouldn't you be busy reading everything I've ever done? Right from my humble begginings to my eventual acceptance into the Uber clique and finally my elite status? I hope you've got two browsers open young man!
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:13:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
noob noobie nooberson. newb noob, n00b?
---
huh?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:13:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:10:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel like a fisting.
=========================
Um...ok...would you like a t - bag to go with that?
Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:11:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Spam is more of a n00b than me.
And he is australian.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel like fishing.
Everything you ever wanted to know about badassmofo
User id: 15038
Registered on or around: 2004-12-29 12:57:36
# Messages posted: 61
# Reviews written: 2048
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 1781
# Hits: 30639
Average rating of all messages: 1.37
Who cares what this n00b has to say?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:10:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, this was funny.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I was young my mother told me to think great and I could be great. I said hold on a second mommy, I wanna be like Mr. Wolf when I grow up....She sucked me off and tickled my balls in light of my forsight.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pock is as great a man as any pikey can be.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:07:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So I shouldn't model my life after this man of genius?
*looks around, lost and confused*
Now what am I to do, I had rested my lively hood, my home, my family, my dreams on way day being as well rounded and insightful as this man.
When I was young my mother told me to think great and I could be great. I said hold on a second mommy, I wanna be like Mr. Wolf when I grow up....She sucked me off and tickled my balls in light of my forsight.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:02:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 09:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:57:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, I'm sorry you've been on this site 4 months longer than me so you're right I suck.
I haven't read your reviews so I'm sorry, I'm off now to read everything you have ever written because
I am in awe of your awesomeness.
I can only hope that some day in the annals of all that is gay, my name can one day appear next to yours.
Oh to dream.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't take hime seriously dude, he's just a pikey who robbed a student's laptop. He knows no better.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:57:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, I'm sorry you've been on this site 4 months longer than me so you're right I suck.
I haven't read your reviews so I'm sorry, I'm off now to read everything you have ever written because
I am in awe of your awesomeness.
I can only hope that some day in the annals of all that is gay, my name can one day appear next to yours.
Oh to dream.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Atta boy... by jove I think he's got it!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:55:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
" Women don't think at all. They're kinda just like an attractive housing for chemical imbalances and hormone."
Oh dear Lord Mr. Hobbert, you are a funny old bean.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My favorite was "this is known as the menstrual cycle", but this post seems to have ben wasted on Americans and Noobs like that fucking Dervel. Good to see another member of our elite has finally arrived to defend the post!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:57:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, I'm sorry you've been on this site 4 months longer than me so you're right I suck.
I haven't read your reviews so I'm sorry, I'm off now to read everything you have ever written because
I am in awe of your awesomeness.
I can only hope that some day in the annals of all that is gay, my name can one day appear next to yours.
Oh to dream.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:56:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:53:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well this is quite the uber elder/elite fest isn't it?
A poor n00b like me feels overawed.
That Dervel chap seems to be a bit of a wise cracking japester!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes but non are quite as super-elite as I! See how offended the nooby's have been, overcome with jealousy methinks.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
" Women don't think at all. They're kinda just like an attractive housing for chemical imbalances and hormone."
Oh dear Lord Mr. Hobbert, you are a funny old bean.
Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:53:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well this is quite the uber elder/elite fest isn't it?
A poor n00b like me feels overawed.
That Dervel chap seems to be a bit of a wise cracking japester!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:44:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm guessing you've read Andrew Dice Clay's dating tips? EEEEYYYYYYY. You're British so you might not get that one.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is that why people are saying this is unoriginal? Not just because We've all done this same post on Uber once or twice (this being my second) but a real life celebrity did it? Well now if I'd realised that I would have gone back to posting Z-shift :)
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:46:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:41:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
That's cause you keep dropping your beer to pull your trousers back up you god damned village idiot-clown.
on a side note I don't think my ego has ever inflicted so much damage on my ratings. I forget how important they are.
---
Outrage! You jolly well take that back! I have never spilt beer!
The floors get sticky because one look at me and women dribble from their special place and I don't mean they piss themselves.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you say special place you mean mouth, and when you say pub you mean mental hospital. Silly.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:47:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:44:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm guessing you've read Andrew Dice Clay's dating tips? EEEEYYYYYYY. You're British so you might not get that one.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Datings for losers, give me a poorly lit street and a drunk 17 year old walking home alone everytime.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:44:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
waaaa waaaaa, fuck you noob. God damn teenager American noob loser. Go masturbate to MTV
= = = = = = = =
Oh...oh...I'm dying...oh...ya gut shot me son.
noob - check
American - check
loser - check
teenager - check
masturbater - check
your post is still unoriginal and sucks
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Waaaa Waaaa.... I keep looking but that's all I see my friend. I figured you were a teenager because you haven't picked up a single line of irony, and let me just clarify for you (everything you have seen that has offended you was a joke) in any of the reviews and probably not in the post either. God damned nooby jerk cumsquat Americunt!!1!111
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:41:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
That's cause you keep dropping your beer to pull your trousers back up you god damned village idiot-clown.
on a side note I don't think my ego has ever inflicted so much damage on my ratings. I forget how important they are.
---
Outrage! You jolly well take that back! I have never spilt beer!
The floors get sticky because one look at me and women dribble from their special place and I don't mean they piss themselves.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:44:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm guessing you've read Andrew Dice Clay's dating tips? EEEEYYYYYYY. You're British so you might not get that one.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:44:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
waaaa waaaaa, fuck you noob. God damn teenager American noob loser. Go masturbate to MTV
= = = = = = = =
Oh...oh...I'm dying...oh...ya gut shot me son.
noob - check
American - check
loser - check
teenager - check
masturbater - check
your post is still unoriginal and sucks
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:43:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:38:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fortunately for me I'm really pretty and attract chicks like a rotten deer carcass attracts carrion.
In fact I'm so outrageously beautiful I've been known to cause floods.
I'm directly responsible for many a sticky pub floor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm so beautiful straight men grab my arse in clubs.
I'm so beautiful I have to wear a mask in public to stop men killing themselves for they're ATTN GHEY MENZ attraction.
I'm so beautiful Arnold Shwazzeneggar asked me for head.
I'm so beautiful Johnny Depp calls me and asks for beauty advice.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:41:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:38:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fortunately for me I'm really pretty and attract chicks like a rotten deer carcass attracts carrion.
In fact I'm so outrageously beautiful I've been known to cause floods.
I'm directly responsible for many a sticky pub floor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's cause you keep dropping your beer to pull your trousers back up you god damned village idiot-clown.
on a side note I don't think my ego has ever inflicted so much damage on my ratings. I forget how important they are.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:38:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fortunately for me I'm really pretty and attract chicks like a rotten deer carcass attracts carrion.
In fact I'm so outrageously beautiful I've been known to cause floods.
I'm directly responsible for many a sticky pub floor.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:34:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:33:31 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:20:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:13:10 (#)
Ranking: 1
Somewhat funny, but its all been said before.
The irony and thus the +1 is that you are posting about how to get women...on the internet!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I can't believe I'm getting 1's.... do you know who I am???
---------
Who you are...who you are? What the fucking fuck does 'who you are' have to do with anything.
I've changed my mind based on your pretentious attitude, this post sucks.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
waaaa waaaaa, fuck you noob. God damn teenager American noob loser. Go masturbate to MTV
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:32:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
We won the fucking war... you cunts were late etc etc banter banter firestarter ass cracker.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*goes quiet*
Boy... did you just call ME an ass cracker? Oh no, you did NOT just call me an ass cracker!
You take that back boy or 'am gonna have t' open a can o' whoop ass! I tell you what boy, I used to fuck guy like you in Guatamano Bay!
--
ROADHOUSE!!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:33:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:20:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:13:10 (#)
Ranking: 1
Somewhat funny, but its all been said before.
The irony and thus the +1 is that you are posting about how to get women...on the internet!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I can't believe I'm getting 1's.... do you know who I am???
---------
Who you are...who you are? What the fucking fuck does 'who you are' have to do with anything.
I've changed my mind based on your pretentious attitude, this post sucks.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:33:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:30:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
As others have mentioned, the content of the post has been done before and done slightly better.
However, the replies on this puppy are pretty fucking funny. That's some quality American bashing right there.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If I hear this one more time I'm coming over to America myself and starting a war on all you yanky nancys. You hear?
This is the most original piece of literature ever written! It's never been done before, not even by myself back in 2004 when I did it much better, when I was hungry for Uberstardom. It's never been done and you can't handle that simple fact just because you're Americans!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:32:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We won the fucking war... you cunts were late etc etc banter banter firestarter ass cracker.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*goes quiet*
Boy... did you just call ME an ass cracker? Oh no, you did NOT just call me an ass cracker!
You take that back boy or 'am gonna have t' open a can o' whoop ass! I tell you what boy, I used to fuck guy like you in Guatamano Bay!
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:30:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As others have mentioned, the content of the post has been done before and done slightly better.
However, the replies on this puppy are pretty fucking funny. That's some quality American bashing right there.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:30:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:26:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm just lucky that my massive penis and beautiful face are enough to bring any woman to her knees. And if they don't drop to their knees at my mere presence I can always beat them down with my huge cock.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your lucky, I have to ambush them in parks.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ambush what? Cocks?
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:28:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:25:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
You shut your fat filthy face! Go eat a McDonalds you stupid greedy American with your obsession with Oil... I'm surrounded by Americans. There's only me and Rad left in the British corner.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fuckin' pikey's know shit obviously. Here in the U S of A we eat Arby's chicken, we only send Mcdonalds over to you Eurotrash 'cause that's all your good for. Don't forget that if it wasn't for our oil you limey fucks would be speaking Russian right about now. And by oil I don't mean that pissy shit you pump out of the North Sea to cook your greasy fish and chips. You fuckin' savages.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We won the fucking war... you cunts were late etc etc banter banter firestarter ass cracker.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:26:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm just lucky that my massive penis and beautiful face are enough to bring any woman to her knees. And if they don't drop to their knees at my mere presence I can always beat them down with my huge cock.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your lucky, I have to ambush them in parks.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:25:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You shut your fat filthy face! Go eat a McDonalds you stupid greedy American with your obsession with Oil... I'm surrounded by Americans. There's only me and Rad left in the British corner.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fuckin' pikey's know shit obviously. Here in the U S of A we eat Arby's chicken, we only send Mcdonalds over to you Eurotrash 'cause that's all your good for. Don't forget that if it wasn't for our oil you limey fucks would be speaking Russian right about now. And by oil I don't mean that pissy shit you pump out of the North Sea to cook your greasy fish and chips. You fuckin' savages.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:24:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:21:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
In short girls aren't really attracted to the bad guy, but the confident guy. Oh and this whole post was sattirical, its as far removed from my view of women as you can get.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As I said, those are girls and not women. A real woman understands that being a man isn't about winning a pissing contest. Not to say that being a champion piss artist isn't attractive.
Men like teh big boobies and fine arse.
Women like strong men; manifested in confidence.
Both actually form relationships based on similar emotional needs and satisfaction. Well they would if girls weren't confused by all the mind controlling propaganda thrown at them.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm just lucky that my massive penis and beautiful face are enough to bring any woman to her knees. And if they don't drop to their knees at my mere presence I can always beat them down with my huge cock.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:21:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In short girls aren't really attracted to the bad guy, but the confident guy. Oh and this whole post was sattirical, its as far removed from my view of women as you can get.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As I said, those are girls and not women. A real woman understands that being a man isn't about winning a pissing contest. Not to say that being a champion piss artist isn't attractive.
Men like teh big boobies and fine arse.
Women like strong men; manifested in confidence.
Both actually form relationships based on similar emotional needs and satisfaction. Well they would if girls weren't confused by all the mind controlling propaganda thrown at them.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:13:10 (#)
Ranking: 1
Somewhat funny, but its all been said before.
The irony and thus the +1 is that you are posting about how to get women...on the internet!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I can't believe I'm getting 1's.... do you know who I am???
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:19:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
women love cock and want to get fucked. end of story.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:18:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:15:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that's below the belt! I'm not a dick head.
And I'm definitely not an American!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You sit there with your big ghey 'air an' fookin' try to tell me that your not some foreign fook from fookistan or wherever t' fook wankers like you come from. Back in t' day fookers like you knew their place, an' if they grew fookin' ghey 'air like you's we sent em' t' fookin' army for 'ead shave.
Fooking too bloody right your no American, fooking yanks know what t' do wiv fookin' bastards like yow'. Ya fookin' dick'ead!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You shut your fat filthy face! Go eat a McDonalds you stupid greedy American with your obsession with Oil... I'm surrounded by Americans. There's only me and Rad left in the British corner.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:15:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:07:47 (#)
Ranking: 1
Women just want to know a bloke is not a serial killer when they meet them, which I reckon is a pretty difficult task. I for one have a pretty tough time convincing a woman that Im not a psycho, but once thats out of the way (3 or 4 years or constant time with them is usually enough) Im straight in there.
The bad guy seems more appealing because they know hes not hiding anything, but if you're super nice then you probably have something to hide, so they go for 'treated slightly badly' rather than 'chopped up into tiny pieces'
mmmm... tiny pieces
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Women go for the bad guy because the nice guy has nothing but pleasantries to offer. Have you ever been approached by a slightly shy, semi-attractive bird with nothing to say that trips over her words when she does speak? It's the same thing. No one pays the slightest bit of attention to the nice guy because he's boring.
Trick is to act like a bad guy so that girls will be attracted to you and then when you've got one be yourself but make sure you're drunk for the first few dates so you're still confident.
In short girls aren't really attracted to the bad guy, but the confident guy. Oh and this whole post was sattirical, its as far removed from my view of women as you can get.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that's below the belt! I'm not a dick head.
And I'm definitely not an American!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You sit there with your big ghey 'air an' fookin' try to tell me that your not some foreign fook from fookistan or wherever t' fook wankers like you come from. Back in t' day fookers like you knew their place, an' if they grew fookin' ghey 'air like you's we sent em' t' fookin' army for 'ead shave.
Fooking too bloody right your no American, fooking yanks know what t' do wiv fookin' bastards like yow'. Ya fookin' dick'ead!
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:13:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:59:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:52:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK OFF
--
Rad's getting mad - quick, somebody get a cheeseburger.
____________
ahaha
the 500 foot high cow blender is currently out of service. Expect riots
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:13:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Somewhat funny, but its all been said before.
The irony and thus the +1 is that you are posting about how to get women...on the internet!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:11:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hairycoo - It's cause they've got low self-esteem you fool.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:10:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:07:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you nooby american nigger
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fuck you, you big gay-haired twat. Fuckin' gay dick'eads like you that fuck this country up, you fuckin' nobbite!
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Now that's below the belt! I'm not a dick head.
And I'm definitely not an American!!!!
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:04:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
Spamwise, you may fuck off as well.
cheeky cunt.
--
better make that a quarter pounder.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:08:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
god I've missed this. Where's that Nooby gone so I can pretend to berate his homeland further.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:07:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Women just want to know a bloke is not a serial killer when they meet them, which I reckon is a pretty difficult task. I for one have a pretty tough time convincing a woman that Im not a psycho, but once thats out of the way (3 or 4 years or constant time with them is usually enough) Im straight in there.
The bad guy seems more appealing because they know hes not hiding anything, but if you're super nice then you probably have something to hide, so they go for 'treated slightly badly' rather than 'chopped up into tiny pieces'
mmmm... tiny pieces
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:07:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you nooby american nigger
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Fuck you, you big gay-haired twat. Fuckin' gay dick'eads like you that fuck this country up, you fuckin' nobbite!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
</anger>
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:04:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Spamwise, you may fuck off as well.
cheeky cunt.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:03:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:01:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 05:58:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
You guys realise this was a joke right?
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Oh shit dude, I am such a douche.
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he he he
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:03:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:58:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
girls like that aren't worth fucking. Being a prick like that'll just mean you fuck up everything that matters when you get in with a real woman.
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Fuck you nooby american nigger
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 08:01:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 05:58:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
You guys realise this was a joke right?
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Oh shit dude, I am such a douche.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:52:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK OFF
--
Rad's getting mad - quick, somebody get a cheeseburger.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:58:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
girls like that aren't worth fucking. Being a prick like that'll just mean you fuck up everything that matters when you get in with a real woman.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:58:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:52:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK OFF
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I would have thought you'd be onside being that you're such a fine upstanding british fellow. It's those cum swilling americunts apollo and Dervel that I can't abide
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:52:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK OFF
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:51:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Isn't that Apollo character another Americunt?
I fucking hate them!
Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:42:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes I did spam, glad I didn't bump into that apollo monster, although the stretford end looked rather overcast all day perhaps apollo was in the balcony blocking out the light.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cider is drink of kings.
not queens.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
enjoy the cricket Sunday did you Arthur?
*smirks*
Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:38:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I drink Cider and I am a manly man.
But, each to their own, I wouldn't presume to disparage anyone else's personal taste.
Drink and let drink I say!
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Getting out of your brain on cheap cider"
Cider? Is this a guide for Lesbians to pick up women, because men don't drink Cider.
Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes, quite right Spam, I see your point.
I have been getting rather too big for my boots, it is all those people accusing me of being apollo, it upsets me.
As well it should of course, for he is nothing but an enormo-headed psuedo-intellectual chav.
Not like us eh?
Good riddance to him!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:31:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've missed these British posts. Up with Pock.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This Arthur Dent eh?
He comes on here with his 6 measily posts and a mere 2391 hits (because that's what really matters around here as we all know) and starts talking about the girlfriend's of (quasi-)ELITE USERS like he's an MVA or something.
If only that cunt Apollo were here to put him in his place...
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:08:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 06:53:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-16 06:49:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm making pie right now. Would you like me fetch you a beer or clean your shoes or suck your dick or clean something or scrub the floor naked or anything at all while it cooks in the oven, Mr Pock Sir?
And I hope rhubarb and strawberry is okay, but if it's not, I'll make something else. Anything you want.
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Yeah... teach Jenny to talk """
Yeah teach her to talk! You'll have to take her 'safety' helmet off first though as it restricts her jaw movements.
Or so i've heard.
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Fuck off Noob. Ejaculates tm.
Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 06:53:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-16 06:49:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm making pie right now. Would you like me fetch you a beer or clean your shoes or suck your dick or clean something or scrub the floor naked or anything at all while it cooks in the oven, Mr Pock Sir?
And I hope rhubarb and strawberry is okay, but if it's not, I'll make something else. Anything you want.
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Yeah... teach Jenny to talk """
Yeah teach her to talk! You'll have to take her 'safety' helmet off first though as it restricts her jaw movements.
Or so i've heard.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:06:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:01:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU SEXIST PIG!
and what's this?
RACIST TO BOOT!!??
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What's any of this got to do with my boots you stupid nigger!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:05:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-08-16 06:57:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
You're just jealous because America is the greatest country in the world and Britain is a spent force.
That's right you're jealous of our crappy low alcohol pale lagers served in an undersized glass at stupidly low temperatures and your jealous of our ridiculously large portions of fries (not chips) that get served with our hamburgers of biblical proportions.
But most of all your envious of the fact that we have guns and can shoot each other whilst wearing 42" waist jogging pants and dribbling melted cheese down our fronts.
Heck your invidious little country doesn't even consider 10 pin bowling a sport. Losers.
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All america is closet ghey! I'm surprised you silly fuckers even manage to continue to procreate. Now I might well be generalising here, I might not be, but I think every single American is a fat lazy good for nothing slob that shags his or her cousins!
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:03:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:00:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Q: How do you give a woman an orgasm?
--
Punch her in the kidneys?
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU SEXIST PIG!
and what's this?
RACIST TO BOOT!!??
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-08-16 07:00:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Q: How do you give a woman an orgasm?
A: Who cares?
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-08-16 06:57:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're just jealous because America is the greatest country in the world and Britain is a spent force.
That's right you're jealous of our crappy low alcohol pale lagers served in an undersized glass at stupidly low temperatures and your jealous of our ridiculously large portions of fries (not chips) that get served with our hamburgers of biblical proportions.
But most of all your envious of the fact that we have guns and can shoot each other whilst wearing 42" waist jogging pants and dribbling melted cheese down our fronts.
Heck your invidious little country doesn't even consider 10 pin bowling a sport. Losers.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 06:53:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-16 06:49:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm making pie right now. Would you like me fetch you a beer or clean your shoes or suck your dick or clean something or scrub the floor naked or anything at all while it cooks in the oven, Mr Pock Sir?
And I hope rhubarb and strawberry is okay, but if it's not, I'll make something else. Anything you want.
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Yeah... teach Jenny to talk and behave like that and I'll be your best friend!
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-16 06:49:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm making pie right now. Would you like me fetch you a beer or clean your shoes or suck your dick or clean something or scrub the floor naked or anything at all while it cooks in the oven, Mr Pock Sir?
And I hope rhubarb and strawberry is okay, but if it's not, I'll make something else. Anything you want.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 06:44:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-16 06:41:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Pock, baby, I need you. I long for your clenched fist to strike me deliciously between the third and fourth ribs. I ache to hear you slur words of abuse at me because in your drunken haze you think I'm your mother - and you still want me to give you head.
You and me, baby. Starting now.
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I want you bad baby, but only because you're not american!... I refuse to even capitalise the word for they are beneath such attention to detail.
Now go cook me some pie before I stab you in the throat with a knife decorated with penis'
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-16 06:43:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-08-16 06:37:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yank! How dare you call me a "yank"!
Don't you know that "yank" is an exclusive term of derision that can only be used by tho