Love Hurts (597 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.67 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by dirtycyberdawg (View user info) at 2005-08-17 02:39:46 EDT
Being the youngest in the family, i had the run of the house. No chores to do, being in charge of the goodies that Mum and Dad would bring home, getting whatever my little heart desired and the ultimate perk of all, never having to foot the blame for anything that went wrong while i was out my parents sight. I'm not sure if there is a certain age when all these perks stop, or if your parents just decide that your trying to get away with too much (ie. murder) and decide one day to let you know all about it.
This is the story of the day i found out
It was the school holidays, i was 6yrs old, my sister 7 and my other 2 sisters 11 and 12. Mum and Dad were up preparing to go to work, and the only other person awake was me (doin my "when are you coming home" and "i'll miss you both" routine). Before walking out the door Mum pulled $10 out of her purse and left it in my capable hands to buy milk, bread and eggs. Back then $10's was alot to an adult and like $100.00 to a little kid like me. The car had not even left the driveway before i had finished my plans for the $10.00.
The plan was i would tell my sisters that Mum had left $10.00 to be divided between the 4 of us, and that we could spend it on whatever we wanted.When the girls had awoke i gladly told them the good news and they were delighted. So off we went to the shops, the girls buying lollies and ice blocks (popsicles were the in thing back then), while i spent the next 1 to 2 hours playing the space invader machine.
Later that afternoon my parents arrived home, my usual routine was always the first child to meet them, and then search through their bags for any goodies they might have brought home. All was good until the sound of the milk truck (the milk truck would play music like the ice cream man) could be heard coming down the road. Out of the house comes my sister asking Mum for some milk money because we had run out of milk earlier that day. Mum questioned why that was, as she had left money for milk, bread and eggs before she had gone to work. Thats when all eyes turned to me, and it was time for my lesson to begin.
In my days when you were taught a lesson by your parents it was through the medium of a jandal (or thomgs for you aussies). I'm not sure what came first, the "what happened to the money" question or the crack of the jandal aginst my thigh. Whichever it was this is the prompt for your fast excuses, mine were as follows
-I forgot Mum
-I told them what the money was for but they did not listen
-i fell asleep and when i woke up they had already spent it
Usually each excuse is met with another crack of the jandal, which prompts you to your last act of defence......crying and screaming at the top of your lungs (like a soldier getting killed in a war movie) hoping someone will come to your rescue. Mum would counter act this move with the most famous of all battle cries........"Boy you stop crying or i will give you something to cry about"
Needless to say that was the end of all my perks
Not a day goes by when i don't recall this incident and, when my sisters and i are having a friendly banter they always remind me. Kids these days do get away with murder, and i always wonder if they would be this way if they had the same lessons i had at their age.
I always tell people that "Love Hurts"
I should know...........I've felt love
Love ya Mum
User Reviews
Submitted by dirtycyberdawg (user info) at 2005-08-17 11:44:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-08-17 11:38:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the Asians call them slippers bro.
Who, besides redneck Kiwis, has ever heard of a Jandal?
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I think you they were introduced to you as "Paddles" ya B&D Freak
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-08-17 11:38:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the Asians call them slippers bro.
Who, besides redneck Kiwis, has ever heard of a Jandal?
Submitted by dirtycyberdawg (user info) at 2005-08-17 11:15:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-17 07:50:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
In my days when you were taught a lesson by your parents it was through the medium of a jandal (or thomgs for you aussies
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Is she hitting you with her fucking sandals? I hate reading stories from these savages who don't write in real English.
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Jandals, Sandals, Thongs
All the same thing, they just leave a different imprint
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-17 07:50:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In my days when you were taught a lesson by your parents it was through the medium of a jandal (or thomgs for you aussies
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Is she hitting you with her fucking sandals? I hate reading stories from these savages who don't write in real English.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-08-17 07:29:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love your mum too. Send her my regards, nigger.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-08-17 07:12:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-08-17 06:19:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She learned ya some dissiplun. Good lady.
Submitted by Frde (user info) at 2005-08-17 05:59:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I WANNA BE A REAL BOY
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-08-17 05:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stop your crying young man, or I WILL give you something to cry about.
Tool.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-08-17 04:53:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My youngest brother has always gotten away with murder, still does now, even though he's just turned 18.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-08-17 04:45:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHAT ARE YOU 80?!?!?!
MILKMAN?!?!
IM DRUNK...WHY DON'T THEY HAVE BEER MANS
I NEED ONE OF THEM
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-17 04:34:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny how stuff like that stays with you. Back in '95, my freinds and I went to play at laser tag in Acocks Green; we'd all team up and fight together against everyone else. It was great fun, but I would often find myself inexplicably hit. It used to weigh heavily on me, was I just so unobservant that I couldn't outwit a group of 10 year olds?
Years later I learned that Rob, one of my bestest westest freinds in the whole wide world had shot me in the back, the man (boy) I trusted to cover me and protect me had betrayed me. Repeatedly.
Never forgive, never forget. Fucker can find someone else to be his best man.
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2005-08-17 02:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Getting older and coming to terms with your parents rules!