A Couple of Idiots Discuss Complex Subjects (70881 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.82 on 164 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spencer Thompson (View user info) at 2005-08-17 10:06:30 EDT
A couple of idiots discuss...
PERPETUAL MOTION
"Like when you fall down a bottomless pit?"
"Kinda, but it's more like when you put two ice cubes next to each other, and they'll never melt because they'll just keep each other cold forever."
"What if you put two ice cubes next to each other and dropped them down a bottomless pit?"
"Well they'd drift apart and melt, unless you glued them, but then they wouldn't really be touching."
"Oh, right."
---
GLOBAL WARMING
"Every year they say it's global warming, but then like three months later it gets cold again."
"Yeah, you're right, because at first I'm noticing this change where it's warmer and the days are longer, and I think they're on to something, but then I realize the days aren't getting longer and warmer, they're actually getting shorter and colder, and I'm just like 'this is bullshit.'"
"I know, it's like every September they're like 'close call guys, we almost got global warming but we JUST missed it!' and that's why science can blow me."
---
LEAP YEARS
"Shit dude, I like having an extra day, why can't we have them every year?"
"Well there's a reason you only have the once every four years."
"Why?"
"It's like chocolate. If you have it too often you get too used to eat, then you need to eat more. Then we've got years that like right years."
"Wouldn't we live longer then?"
"...I think you're right."
---
THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE
"It's like we don't REALLY vote, we just tell the people who do the actual voting how they're supposed to vote."
"So they're undecided voters, and we tell them how to vote?"
"Yeah, except they don't HAVE to vote how we tell them to, they can actually vote however they want."
"That's fucking retarded."
"I disagree wholeheartedly."
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
---
THE TIDES
"So, like, sometimes the ocean water is high, but sometimes it's low."
"Cause why?"
"Cause the moon is like a magnet and it attracts the water."
"I thought magnets only attracted metal."
"Water's a type of metal."
"Oh, cool."
"Also it's one of the noble gasses."
---
HYDROGEN AS A FUEL SOURCE
"You can put stuff other than gas in your cars?"
"Only certain cars."
"What cars?"
"Well Hydrogen is 2/3 of water, so, like, cars that are 1/3 water."
"Really?"
"Yeah, cause like human are 80% water so we use hydrogen and not gasoline, and most cars are like 8%, but if the car is 20% or more water then it can run on hydrogen."
"Like boats?"
"Not at all like boats."
---
THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT
"The Butterfly Effect is what happens when a small insignificant event causes other, more major events to occur."
"Why's it called that?"
"It's like when a teenage girl gets lost in a foreign country, and as a result hundreds of reporters and thousands of hours of news reports result, and like the teenage girl, butterflies are pretty."
---
ABSOLUTE ZERO
"Isn't absolute zero like when it can't get any colder?"
"At all?"
"At all."
"Woah."
"I know."
"So like, even if it got colder..."
"It could get infinitely colder, but it wouldn't be anymore cold."
"Woah."
"I know."
"Me too."
---
NIHILISM / DARWINISM
"So, like, nothing can be known or communicated?"
"Yeah, because language isn't definite and is open to interpretation."
"So you might say 'boat' and I might hear 'boat' but I might interpret as 'banana.'"
"Yeah, so I say 'do you want to go fishing on my boat?' and I'd say 'fishing on a fruit? No chance, sir.' but it's not really a banana, it's a boat?"
"It's more like 'fishing on a fruit? hell yeah' because in your world you go fishing on bananas."
"But if I went fishing on a banana, I'd drown."
"Yeah, so your inferior reality doesn't get passed on to future generations."
"Ohhhh."
---
KARMA
"So the whole idea is people will do good, because good will happen to them?"
"Yeah, and if you do bad, you get bad stuff right back."
"Who decides who gets what though?"
"No one decides, no one votes, it's just decided, like, automatically."
"Like midterm House elections?"
"Like most elections."
---
THE WATER CYCLE
"So, like, water dies, right?"
"Right."
"Then decomposers break it down into organic matter."
"Yeah, decomposers are very important in nature."
"Definitely. Then it rains water seeds, and when the water seeds mix up with the decomposed water, lakes grow."
---
EINSTEIN'S THEORY OF RELATIVITY
"Einstein's theory of relativity is really complicated, and it can be almost impossible to understand what it means."
"That's E=MC2, right? What does it mean?"
"When you go really fast, time goes slower..."
"...Because you get there earlier!"
"You're catching on, buddy!"
"Thanks, and if you were to go faster than the speed of light..."
"..."
"..and you were in a MONSTER TRUCK."
"You...YOU COULD SMASH CARS BEFORE THEY WERE EVER BUILT OH MY GOD."
---
CORIOLIS EFFECT
"When you flush a toilet in the United States, it flushes clockwise."
"Just in the United States?"
"Just in the United States."
"Oh, right, because one time I went to China, and when I flushed the toilet, it did like this star-shaped maneuver..."
"I think that's what Animal Farm was about."
"Yeah, it's like an allegory for geographical toilet flushing."
---
CRYONICS
"You know when you reach absolute zero?"
"Man I went to this football game last year it was like absolute -3, absolute -14 with the wind chill."
"Yeah, anyway, when you get there you DIE, but you don't really die, you just stay dead until they figure out a way to make you alive again."
"How do they do that?"
"They don't know."
"How do they know they CAN do it?"
"I think it was on the news that you can do it so that's prolly where they got it from."
---
BLACK HOLES
"A black hole is this thing in space where light falls."
"Light falls?"
"Yeah, space is like a bathtub, and you fill it with light, and black holes are where the light drains out."
"Where does the light go?"
"It goes back into space as lightvapor, and when it condensates, that's how a sun is formed."
"So then suns are really clouds of light?"
"Yes, and then they rain sunshine."
User Reviews
Submitted by THERAPlST (user info) at 2009-07-23 21:50:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I lmao'd a few times, but most just gave me a small chuckle so +1
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-15 12:36:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Wicked (user info) at 2007-01-15 12:24:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I need to hammer this one because I don't think it 's really that funny.
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2006-12-24 16:15:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Thanks, and if you were to go faster than the speed of light..."
"..."
"..and you were in a MONSTER TRUCK."
"You...YOU COULD SMASH CARS BEFORE THEY WERE EVER BUILT OH MY GOD."
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-21 19:51:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MAYBE three funny ones...the rest are just shit. 60,000 hits for this?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-21 19:28:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
some awesome standup material in here.
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-09-05 01:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fantastic...
Submitted by seduce.a.stranger (user info) at 2006-07-13 22:26:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Not at all like boats."
i love it...i know this is late, but this post does not age.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-06-05 23:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I loved this part:
A couple of idiots discuss...
PERPETUAL MOTION
"Like when you fall down a bottomless pit?"
"Kinda, but it's more like when you put two ice cubes next to each other, and they'll never melt because they'll just keep each other cold forever."
"What if you put two ice cubes next to each other and dropped them down a bottomless pit?"
"Well they'd drift apart and melt, unless you glued them, but then they wouldn't really be touching."
"Oh, right."
---
GLOBAL WARMING
"Every year they say it's global warming, but then like three months later it gets cold again."
"Yeah, you're right, because at first I'm noticing this change where it's warmer and the days are longer, and I think they're on to something, but then I realize the days aren't getting longer and warmer, they're actually getting shorter and colder, and I'm just like 'this is bullshit.'"
"I know, it's like every September they're like 'close call guys, we almost got global warming but we JUST missed it!' and that's why science can blow me."
---
LEAP YEARS
"Shit dude, I like having an extra day, why can't we have them every year?"
"Well there's a reason you only have the once every four years."
"Why?"
"It's like chocolate. If you have it too often you get too used to eat, then you need to eat more. Then we've got years that like right years."
"Wouldn't we live longer then?"
"...I think you're right."
---
THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE
"It's like we don't REALLY vote, we just tell the people who do the actual voting how they're supposed to vote."
"So they're undecided voters, and we tell them how to vote?"
"Yeah, except they don't HAVE to vote how we tell them to, they can actually vote however they want."
"That's fucking retarded."
"I disagree wholeheartedly."
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
---
THE TIDES
"So, like, sometimes the ocean water is high, but sometimes it's low."
"Cause why?"
"Cause the moon is like a magnet and it attracts the water."
"I thought magnets only attracted metal."
"Water's a type of metal."
"Oh, cool."
"Also it's one of the noble gasses."
---
HYDROGEN AS A FUEL SOURCE
"You can put stuff other than gas in your cars?"
"Only certain cars."
"What cars?"
"Well Hydrogen is 2/3 of water, so, like, cars that are 1/3 water."
"Really?"
"Yeah, cause like human are 80% water so we use hydrogen and not gasoline, and most cars are like 8%, but if the car is 20% or more water then it can run on hydrogen."
"Like boats?"
"Not at all like boats."
---
THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT
"The Butterfly Effect is what happens when a small insignificant event causes other, more major events to occur."
"Why's it called that?"
"It's like when a teenage girl gets lost in a foreign country, and as a result hundreds of reporters and thousands of hours of news reports result, and like the teenage girl, butterflies are pretty."
---
ABSOLUTE ZERO
"Isn't absolute zero like when it can't get any colder?"
"At all?"
"At all."
"Woah."
"I know."
"So like, even if it got colder..."
"It could get infinitely colder, but it wouldn't be anymore cold."
"Woah."
"I know."
"Me too."
---
NIHILISM / DARWINISM
"So, like, nothing can be known or communicated?"
"Yeah, because language isn't definite and is open to interpretation."
"So you might say 'boat' and I might hear 'boat' but I might interpret as 'banana.'"
"Yeah, so I say 'do you want to go fishing on my boat?' and I'd say 'fishing on a fruit? No chance, sir.' but it's not really a banana, it's a boat?"
"It's more like 'fishing on a fruit? hell yeah' because in your world you go fishing on bananas."
"But if I went fishing on a banana, I'd drown."
"Yeah, so your inferior reality doesn't get passed on to future generations."
"Ohhhh."
---
KARMA
"So the whole idea is people will do good, because good will happen to them?"
"Yeah, and if you do bad, you get bad stuff right back."
"Who decides who gets what though?"
"No one decides, no one votes, it's just decided, like, automatically."
"Like midterm House elections?"
"Like most elections."
---
THE WATER CYCLE
"So, like, water dies, right?"
"Right."
"Then decomposers break it down into organic matter."
"Yeah, decomposers are very important in nature."
"Definitely. Then it rains water seeds, and when the water seeds mix up with the decomposed water, lakes grow."
---
EINSTEIN'S THEORY OF RELATIVITY
"Einstein's theory of relativity is really complicated, and it can be almost impossible to understand what it means."
"That's E=MC2, right? What does it mean?"
"When you go really fast, time goes slower..."
"...Because you get there earlier!"
"You're catching on, buddy!"
"Thanks, and if you were to go faster than the speed of light..."
"..."
"..and you were in a MONSTER TRUCK."
"You...YOU COULD SMASH CARS BEFORE THEY WERE EVER BUILT OH MY GOD."
---
CORIOLIS EFFECT
"When you flush a toilet in the United States, it flushes clockwise."
"Just in the United States?"
"Just in the United States."
"Oh, right, because one time I went to China, and when I flushed the toilet, it did like this star-shaped maneuver..."
"I think that's what Animal Farm was about."
"Yeah, it's like an allegory for geographical toilet flushing."
---
CRYONICS
"You know when you reach absolute zero?"
"Man I went to this football game last year it was like absolute -3, absolute -14 with the wind chill."
"Yeah, anyway, when you get there you DIE, but you don't really die, you just stay dead until they figure out a way to make you alive again."
"How do they do that?"
"They don't know."
"How do they know they CAN do it?"
"I think it was on the news that you can do it so that's prolly where they got it from."
---
BLACK HOLES
"A black hole is this thing in space where light falls."
"Light falls?"
"Yeah, space is like a bathtub, and you fill it with light, and black holes are where the light drains out."
"Where does the light go?"
"It goes back into space as lightvapor, and when it condensates, that's how a sun is formed."
"So then suns are really clouds of light?"
"Yes, and then they rain sunshine."
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-10 01:10:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
FUN FACT
CORIOLIS EFFECT
"When you flush a toilet in the United States, it flushes clockwise."
I actually got up and flushed my toilet to make sure this was right.
-------------------
the idea that the coriolis effect affects the way water drains is a myth.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:05:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nominated for best ever:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88684
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-04-18 11:30:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
moo
Submitted by EntityErased (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:23:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had to go read this again.
+2
Submitted by dedre (user info) at 2006-03-10 02:28:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"You...YOU COULD SMASH CARS BEFORE THEY WERE EVER BUILT OH MY GOD."
-------------------------
Hilarious
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-10 01:59:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God, this is badass...
Submitted by cascade (user info) at 2006-03-10 01:36:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can you make this shit up? For reals?
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-10 01:10:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FUN FACT
CORIOLIS EFFECT
"When you flush a toilet in the United States, it flushes clockwise."
I actually got up and flushed my toilet to make sure this was right.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-02-22 10:01:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One of mine, as well.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-02-21 22:01:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One of my favorite posts.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-12-04 22:54:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by crazyaardvark (user info) at 2005-12-01 01:56:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"But if I went fishing on a banana, I'd drown."
"Yeah, so your inferior reality doesn't get passed on to future generations."
"Ohhhh."
GOLD
+2 for you.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-12-01 01:45:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That was actually "Miscellaneous Thoughts From My Notepad," if anything.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-11-30 21:55:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I still love this...
It started a streak of Spencer posts that were gold for like, 3 months.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-31 08:16:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"That's fucking retarded."
"I disagree wholeheartedly."
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
------------------------------
That is my favorite line, EVAR!
Submitted by DocD (user info) at 2005-10-29 17:55:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hey on a scale of 1 to 10 and ten being the one with the zero, I'd rate this a nine!
Makes you want to just shut up and listen.
Submitted by gAGGLE (user info) at 2005-10-23 09:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Francine had a purse like that
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-10-15 16:01:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nihilism saved it.
Submitted by neonopensign (user info) at 2005-10-15 15:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"You...YOU COULD SMASH CARS BEFORE THEY WERE EVER BUILT OH MY GOD."
BRILLIANT and hilarious.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-10-07 23:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-09-28 06:24:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2005-09-28 06:13:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
not funny.
_____________________________________________________________
This post is Vigo! You are like the buzzing of flies to him!
---
I laughed heartily.
(+2 for the comment)
Submitted by a_palindrome (user info) at 2005-10-07 23:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Read it again, and it's still hilarious. The nihilism one's my favorite...
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2005-10-07 12:23:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I WANT TO SMASH NON-EXISTANT CARS!
A time traveling monster truck. I'd buy it.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-10-07 12:19:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-09-28 06:24:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2005-09-28 06:13:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
not funny.
_____________________________________________________________
This post is Vigo! You are like the buzzing of flies to him!
-----
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA Ghostbusters 2
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-10-07 12:04:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My favorite: CORIOLIS EFFECT.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-09-28 06:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2005-09-28 06:13:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
not funny.
_____________________________________________________________
This post is Vigo! You are like the buzzing of flies to him!
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2005-09-28 06:13:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
not funny.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-09-27 01:14:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by alfakyle (user info) at 2005-09-26 18:50:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't made it through it yet, but the end would have to suck not to get +2.
Submitted by a_palindrome (user info) at 2005-09-09 23:26:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Possibly the funniest thing I've ever read. Rock on.
Submitted by mush (user info) at 2005-09-09 16:02:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fascinating hit count.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-08-30 18:45:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good sheet
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-30 15:32:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Mister (user info) at 2005-08-30 10:40:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
HOly shit, 1000 hits a day?
This IS going out in e-mail isn't it? With a link!
---
When www.theinquirer.com linked to my Liberal Agenda, I was getting 1,000 hits *per hour.* Didn't last too long though. There was a huge spike, then it fizzled out after everyone had already clicked it.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-30 13:06:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't believe I hadn't read this yet.
Good stuff. I laughed a few times.
Submitted by Mister (user info) at 2005-08-30 10:40:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HOly shit, 1000 hits a day?
This IS going out in e-mail isn't it? With a link!
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-08-29 05:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by hael (user info) at 2005-08-28 23:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"waters a type of metal"
Submitted by Mister (user info) at 2005-08-28 00:14:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I mean 14K...
Christ...
Submitted by Mister (user info) at 2005-08-28 00:14:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit, this already has 13k hits?
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-08-26 19:05:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by starshine (user info) at 2005-08-23 20:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I KNEW this would make b@w. I am SO PSYCHIC. 1337.
Submitted by RandytheHelpfulPineapple (user info) at 2005-08-22 22:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Thanks, and if you were to go faster than the speed of light..."
"..."
"..and you were in a MONSTER TRUCK."
"You...YOU COULD SMASH CARS BEFORE THEY WERE EVER BUILT OH MY GOD."
------------------------------------
Oh my stars
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-08-22 21:21:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm surpirsed i haven't gotten an email with "FW:FW:FW:FW A Couple of Idiots Discuss Complex Subjects" as the header, yet
Submitted by ScoutCJustice (user info) at 2005-08-22 01:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hooray pot.
Submitted by djgray (user info) at 2005-08-21 15:42:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Thanks, and if you were to go faster than the speed of light..."
"..."
"..and you were in a MONSTER TRUCK."
"You...YOU COULD SMASH CARS BEFORE THEY WERE EVER BUILT OH MY GOD."
Couldn't have been said any better.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-08-21 13:52:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-08-21 13:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I come back to shit like this?
Submitted by Bushy (user info) at 2005-08-21 07:00:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
yeah, it "made me smile" but its not "kicker of all ass"
Something about it smacks of elitism/snobbyness/superiority complex.
although not said explicitly, it almost says "i've never said anything stupid ever, and listen to what these retards have said", even if it is a work of fiction.
meh, +1, time to stop thinking about it.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-08-21 06:57:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-18 03:56:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, somebody made an account just to fuck your streak up.
********
It's difficult and dangerous to expand the very limited rules of what it takes to become
banned at Ubersite.
However, I would include this type of behavior since it lacks merit and is bereft of any
intent other than to diminish the post and highlight the ignorance or hatefulness of the reviewer.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-08-21 04:59:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-08-20 20:28:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YES! B@W! WHOOOO!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-08-20 16:41:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For the big Spooon homey G funkmaster of the gravy sauce and crap shooting honkey tonk.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-08-20 12:10:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BRILLIANCE!
Submitted by Captain_Cool (user info) at 2005-08-20 05:38:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2005-08-19 19:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's a real one, courtesy www.overheardinnewyork.com
Girl #1: Yeah, I think those are real trees. Otherwise, I don't think they would grow like that.
Girl #2: Yeah, I think you're right.
Submitted by chuckg (user info) at 2005-08-19 18:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I believe the electoral college one is right. The electors are not bound by any law or framing in the constitution to vote how the populace goes. I think it's just an unspoken rule that they will follow the popular vote; ie: a whole state will go one way or another.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-08-19 16:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It was pretty cool, but I'm in the overwhelming minority here that doesn't agree it was that funny. Eh.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-08-19 13:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is some good shit
Submitted by eX (user info) at 2005-08-19 09:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now this is real comedy.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-08-19 07:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know you and Kracka are my favouritest
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-08-19 04:16:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He knew he couldn't leave you off BAW for this one. Everyone agrees that this was simply awesome.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2005-08-19 03:52:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU COULD SMASH CARS BEFORE THEY WERE EVEN BUILT OMG!
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-18 20:31:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I MADE MOST HEATED WOOOO!!!!
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2005-08-18 20:16:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm John Kerry, and I approve this message.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-08-18 16:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Submitted by Rope (user info) at 2005-08-18 16:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heheheh
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2005-08-18 15:29:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT
"The Butterfly Effect is what happens when a small insignificant event causes other, more major events to occur."
"Why's it called that?"
"It's like when a teenage girl gets lost in a foreign country, and as a result hundreds of reporters and thousands of hours of news reports result, and like the teenage girl, butterflies are pretty."
Submitted by metricgiraffe (user info) at 2005-08-18 15:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BWAHAHAHAHA. Hahahaha. HAH.
Monster truck.
Heh.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well don't jinx it. =(
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:21:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W, possibly
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good post
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-08-18 13:51:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like stupid conversations
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-18 13:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I'm kinda coming in under the radar because I don't do a lot of hitwhoring and I don't write a lot of reviews. Not to mention that I've only really been known for a few months now. People don't suspect me to have the amount of hits that I do.
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:43:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit. I had no idea you were so close to the MVA.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:22:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, thank you, that was awesome
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:21:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"..and you were in a MONSTER TRUCK."
"You...YOU COULD SMASH CARS BEFORE THEY WERE EVER BUILT OH MY GOD."
====
hahahahahahaha
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:20:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"But if I went fishing on a banana, I'd drown."
"Yeah, so your inferior reality doesn't get passed on to future generations."
"Ohhhh."
===
hahahhaha, wtf?
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shamone!
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:02:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No it isn't. You are mistaken, good sir.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-08-18 10:27:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's the same conversation had about different subjects.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-08-18 10:21:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-08-18 10:13:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew this would make it.
MVM too.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-08-18 09:49:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-18 08:29:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
<Stella>
Yaaayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!
</Stella>
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-08-18 08:13:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-08-18 07:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
write a book.
Submitted by emxel (user info) at 2005-08-18 05:11:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
holy shit that was the funniest piece of awesome i've read in a good long while.
Submitted by emplifire (user info) at 2005-08-18 05:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
B@W
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-08-18 04:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"You...YOU COULD SMASH CARS BEFORE THEY WERE EVER BUILT OH MY GOD."
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-18 04:38:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious. Congrats.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-18 04:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And it's up on B@W now.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-18 03:56:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, somebody made an account just to fuck your streak up.
FIrst review, the account is two hours old.
HOW COME NONE OF MY ALTERS GET APPROVED EVER?
Submitted by SBK (user info) at 2005-08-18 03:38:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was stupid. You forgot the one about how the universe is just one atom from a bigger universe which is just one atom from a bigger universe, and so on and so forth. You also forgot the one where what if you see green as blue, and I see blue as pink, and how would we ever know what colors we see????
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-18 01:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, right, yeah, I guess that was the joke... I thought you were getting deeper into it or something... whatever...
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-08-18 01:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73335#1532336
Perhaps you didn't do it on purpose, perhaps it's so obvious I shouldn't have to wait to get it, or perhaps my memory of Science class is hugely flawed. However, I laughed again when I realized not only that water isn't an element, but that an element can't be both a metal and a noble gas.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-18 00:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Probably the menacing letters I sent him made from cut-up magazines.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-08-18 00:43:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, Bart must feel threatened.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-18 00:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bart told me. He's like "you're not allowed on BAW anymore" and all I could do was cry. I think he's gone mad with power. He said he was "this close" to banning me altogether and deleting all my posts.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-08-18 00:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bullshit. This thing probably has 10 nominations already.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-18 00:27:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Because I'm not allowed on BAW anymore. =(
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-08-18 00:21:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why isn't this on B@W yet?
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-18 00:19:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:38:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is my first B@W nomination.
==
I will now read the rest of your posts.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-08-18 00:08:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73391
Thank you.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-17 23:51:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"hahahaha. I just got that."
I... don't know if there's anything TO get there...
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-08-17 23:32:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Water's a type of metal."
"Oh, cool."
"Also it's one of the noble gasses."
-
hahahaha. I just got that.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-08-17 23:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was one of your best.
Submitted by hoffshot (user info) at 2005-08-17 23:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Science explained.. awesome
Another perpetual motion theory (not mine but I love it... I think credit to Steven Wright)
You know now when you drop a cat, it spins and always lands on it feet.
And you how when you drop buttered toast, it spins and always lands buttered side down.
Well if you stuck toast, buttered side up, to the back of a cat and dropped it, it should just hover 1 foot above the ground spinning indefinately. I gotta try that.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-08-17 22:46:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Water's a type of metal."
"Oh, cool."
"Also it's one of the noble gasses."
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-17 22:41:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you had only posted the global warming part I would still rape a donkey to have your child.
Damn Good!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-17 22:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hilarious
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-08-17 22:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was awesome.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-17 21:18:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I love your posts."
My life, it is validated.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-08-17 18:10:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-08-17 18:02:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2005-08-17 17:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2005-08-17 17:27:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"...and that's why science can blow me."
I love your posts.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-08-17 16:25:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W!
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-08-17 16:04:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-08-17 15:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"You...YOU COULD SMASH CARS BEFORE THEY WERE EVER BUILT OH MY GOD."
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-08-17 14:03:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Yeah, so I say 'do you want to go fishing on my boat?' and I'd say 'fishing on a fruit? No chance, sir.' but it's not really a banana, it's a boat?"
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-08-17 14:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant!!!!
I loved this.
B@W
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-08-17 13:48:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I was present at any of these conversations, I believe my head would explode.
Luckily reading this stupidity only caused a nosebleed.
B@W!
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-08-17 12:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking brilliant! Very creative, I like.
"Water's a type of metal."
"Oh, cool."
ROFCOPTER!!!!
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2005-08-17 12:30:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent as always.
This is going up on the board at work. You're being published!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-17 12:17:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2005-08-17 12:11:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-08-17 12:08:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well done.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-08-17 11:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THE TIDES
"So, like, sometimes the ocean water is high, but sometimes it's low."
"Cause why?"
"Cause the moon is like a magnet and it attracts the water."
"I thought magnets only attracted metal."
"Water's a type of metal."
"Oh, cool."
"Also it's one of the noble gasses."
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I know people who would actually have conversations like these. God you rock sometimes.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-17 11:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Nice job there Spency Boy
Now take off yer pants..."
Yes sir. =(
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2005-08-17 11:55:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice job there Spency Boy
Now take off yer pants...
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-08-17 11:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You will make B@W for this.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-17 11:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted to B@W
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-08-17 11:15:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just, I, uh, wow.
This was so so good. Where do you get this shit?
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-08-17 11:01:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"You...YOU COULD SMASH CARS BEFORE THEY WERE EVER BUILT OH MY GOD."
-------------------
Plus fucking 2.
Submitted by BusinessMan (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:59:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"..and you were in a MONSTER TRUCK."
"You...YOU COULD SMASH CARS BEFORE THEY WERE EVER BUILT OH MY GOD."
Wow, i've never laughed so hard at a post before. I think my neighbors think i'm crazy now. Very good
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:43:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Har har.
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is my first B@W nomination.
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's ok Berty; I love to give people erections.
I also love cheese. I'm very complicated.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:35:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
God, that came out wrong.
Not accusing of plagerism at all, but it's so god damn funny and polished, it looks that way.
Sorry, man.
---
I know you didn't mean it like that, and people don't realize they're accusing me of plagiarism when theyre saying it, but especially a little while back when i was writing Miscellaneous Thoughts and Liberal Agenda, I'd get AIM messaged "DID YOU REALLY WRITE THAT?!" which are flattering, really, but thinky veiled accusations, really.
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:36:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:32:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
this, this should be on bored at work.
____________________________________________________________
This will end up as one of those things that gets forwarded all over the place, to the point where someone will see it, copy it, and probably paste it here on Uber.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:27:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed with open mouth and strained belly.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For some perverse reason this gave me an erection.
You have inspired me to do a post about debate.
Submitted by goose (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The relativity one made me tear up.
"..and you were in a MONSTER TRUCK."
"You...YOU COULD SMASH CARS BEFORE THEY WERE EVER BUILT OH MY GOD."
Bah ha ha ha
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God, that came out wrong.
Not accusing of plagerism at all, but it's so god damn funny and polished, it looks that way.
Sorry, man.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:33:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've called the coldest rain ever liquid absolue zero.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:33:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent, fucking A i'm going to print this
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this, this should be on bored at work.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:32:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this was GENIUS
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed with open mouth and strained belly.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:26:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I loved the Darwinism one. It actually made sense to me...I guess I am an idiot.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:18:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was amazingly funny. I have actually wet myself.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:18:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"So what's the deal here Spooner - just scribbling some random shit? Or did you have some inspiration? In the form of two idiots or something?"
To be honest, for a month or so I've just wanted to find a way to work in "if you put two ice cubes next to each other, they'll never melt because they'll keep each other cold forever."
All of the rest are filler.
greening- How come every time I do something funny I get accused of plagiarism?
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:16:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love this kind of thing. +2nami.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:14:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if this is copied or not.
But god I hope not.
Because I laughed at just about every one of these.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:14:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Not at all like boats" and the whole Nihilism/Darwinism one were the best.
So what's the deal here Spooner - just scribbling some random shit? Or did you have some inspiration? In the form of two idiots or something?
Submitted by BlueCollarDan (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Godly
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-08-17 10:10:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"That's fucking retarded."
"I disagree wholeheartedly."
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
------------------------------------
I'm going to conduct all of my arguments like that from now on.