I'm Back (827 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.25 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by harmlessness (View user info) at 2005-08-17 11:21:05 EDT
I doubt that most of you even remember who I am, but I've decided to return anyway. In my 3 months away from Ubersite I have participated in many grueling adventuers, and I have decided to share one of these adventures with you today. This is the story of when I hunted down the fiend who stole my watermelon.
I woke up that morning to a beautiful day outside. The sun was blocked by the clouds overhead, and the air smelled like cancer. Ahhh, sweet home Delaware. After getting out of bed, I made my way to the kitchen, where I expected to see the watermelon that I had been nurturing for the past 2 years. It was a super watermelon. It would be the tastiest fruit (vegetable?) that any human would ever taste, and I intended to eat it that day. And yet, I found it gone.
"Who has stolen my watermelon?" I asked incredulously.
"I have," a voice replied.
I looked behind me to find...HAHA RABBIT!!!!
"DEAR GOD!" I screamed.
"Yes, it is I, Haha Rabbit, and I am stealing your watermelon."
"But why?"
"After a thousand years of suffering, there has been only one thing that has kept he species of rabbits living: the legend of the watermelon. The legend speaks of a master watermelon that would end the pain of the rabbits, and would send all of them to freedom. This is the master watermelon, and I am taking it to save my people."
"I'm not letting you take my watermelon!!!"
So before the rabbit could get away with my prized watermelon I whipped out my dick and splooged all over him. I then cut a hole in the watermelon so I could fuck it, and when I was done I got into my 747 and flew over the world. Once I was up high enough, I dropped the gigantic watermelon filled with my semen and watched as it bombed the Earth which exploded in a fantastic sight of white goo. I then set the controls of the 747 to auto pilot, jumped out in front of it, and screamed with delight as it entered my ass.
THE END
User Reviews
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-06 06:57:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2005-08-17 19:08:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
Nothing much is happening.
But wow, it looks like a lot of people have forgotten about me/don't know who I am at all."""
nobody ever knew who you were.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-06 03:28:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by beancat (user info) at 2005-09-05 01:12:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm.... good to know I've raised a healthy and emotionally stable young man...
What?
----------------
LOL, IN BETWEEN VISITS TO THE CRACK HOUSE YOU FILTHY CUNT!
Submitted by beancat (user info) at 2005-09-05 01:12:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm.... good to know I've raised a healthy and emotionally stable young man...
What?
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-08-21 17:50:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe you're not back permanently, but I still love you anyhow.
This was Tom who made this, wasn't it.
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2005-08-18 19:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I remember reading a post here once about the pros and cons of fucking various varieties of fruit. If you didn't write that you should search it out. I think you'd appreciate it.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-08-18 19:06:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-08-18 18:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-17 11:25:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Y HELO THAR GIBBERISH
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2005-08-18 18:12:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, so it wasn't me. And thanks to __, I have to start posting again. So, Uber, thank __ for me posting again. BAHAHAHAHAH!
-2die.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-08-17 19:48:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok so maybe I lied...
BUT THIS POST SUCKS
Overall rating- 0
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2005-08-17 19:48:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh, Seb, are you alright?
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-08-17 19:46:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OMG GUYZ DIS ISN'T STONEDSILLY ITS SG DA PLAYTPUSS MONSETR OMG!!!11122345676890-==
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-08-17 19:38:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2005-08-17 19:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hah. Thanks CATAL.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2005-08-17 19:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You suck, I was totally gonna come back too, now people will just think I'm a biter.
I am so posting something now. Welcome back even though I haven't been hanging around either.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2005-08-17 19:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nothing much is happening.
But wow, it looks like a lot of people have forgotten about me/don't know who I am at all.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-17 16:23:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey you.
what's up?
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2005-08-17 14:20:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You get a +2 for the pain you must have felt as the 747 entered your ass...
What?
That is all
Submitted by VengefulDaddy (user info) at 2005-08-17 13:58:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea who you are, but
"...the air smelled like cancer."
Beautiful, just beautiful.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-08-17 13:29:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great, the master of shenanigans is back.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-08-17 11:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Welcome back.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-17 11:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Y HELO THAR GIBBERISH
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-08-17 11:25:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Made me smile"
Welcome back.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-08-17 11:25:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for some reason, the line "Yes, it is I, Haha Rabbit..." made me laugh out loud.
not laugh out loud in the AIM acronym sense of the word, but in an actual HAHAHA! sense of the word.