One Man’s View of Organized Religion (916 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.96 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ENV3NOM (View user info) at 2005-08-18 12:39:35 EDT
Two men stand in the center of a large room. (A large oddly shaped room with many, many corners!) One man speaks to the other...
"Hey, why don't we go stand in that corner over there?"
"What for?"
"I don't know...there's a bunch of people standing over there, we should go stand over there too!"
- Man looks towards the corner, stares blankly -
"I don't see what's so great about that corner."
"Oh come on, it'll be fun. Look, they all have matching t-shirts!"
"That's ok, I think I'm going to stay here. I don't really see a need to stand in a corner. I can see everything fine from right here. Have fun."
- The other man walks to the corner. He soon shouts back to his friend -
"Hey, it's great over here, you should come on over."
"What's so great about this corner? It looks just like that corner over there."
"No, this corner is different. You see, that corner has borders at the top of the walls. This corner has crown molding!"
- The man squints as he tries to examine a difference between the two corners -
"It looks the same to me."
"No, this corner is much better, you should come on over. Besides, I know how much you like bacon. You can't eat bacon if you go stand in that corner."
"That is true, I do love bacon. Life just wouldn't be worth living if I wasn't able to consume greasy fattening pig lard. Well how about that corner over there?"
"No, you wouldn't like that corner. They go door to door like vacuum cleaner salesmen. Remember how much you hated selling vacuums?"
"Yeah, I've never been much for sales, especially when it involves bothering people at home."
"Those are hard core salesmen over there. Cold calls and everything."
"Telemarketing? No, that will never do. Well how about that corner?"
"No, they want you to learn to fly planes if you go to that corner. You'd have to overcome your fear of flying."
"Yes, I have always been afraid of heights. Well how about THAT corner? Surely that corner must be just as good as your corner."
"You like steaks, don't you? You can't eat steak if you go stand in that corner. They consider cows to be sacred!"
"You're right, maybe I * should * come to your corner. I don't know what I'd do without my Friday night Filet and Fellatio combo!"
"Whoa, easy there buddy, if you want to get down like that you're going to have to stand in that corner over there!"
User Reviews
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-13 19:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perfect.
Submitted by r1nce (user info) at 2005-08-21 00:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant!
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2005-08-18 20:27:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pass the plate,
I'll donate.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-08-18 19:35:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
clever
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-08-18 15:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was fucking great!!!
Submitted by goose (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:46:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
You forgot about the corner where everyone sits around and says, "Good thing we are not in a corner, those people in corners are so crazy."
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-18 13:55:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:59:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:55:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey indo, ever heard of the Church of the Subgenius? It's basically a religion founded on the idea that religion is bullshit and openly mocks itself. It's a legitimate religion, you can become a priest and get tax breaks and discounted bus fares etc. but essentially it's a multilevel marketing scheme.
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All Hail Bob! All Hail Slack!
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-08-18 13:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Go Scientology!
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-08-18 13:32:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reminds me of Lewis Caroll
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-18 13:15:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:55:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey indo, ever heard of the Church of the Subgenius? It's basically a religion founded on the idea that religion is bullshit and openly mocks itself. It's a legitimate religion, you can become a priest and get tax breaks and discounted bus fares etc. but essentially it's a multilevel marketing scheme.
www.subgenius.com
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Haha, I think my brother joined it, or maybe it was the Universal Church of Life, he basically signed up on-line and now he is a priest.
When I get married I might have him marry us, one less tux I have to spring for.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:59:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:55:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey indo, ever heard of the Church of the Subgenius? It's basically a religion founded on the idea that religion is bullshit and openly mocks itself. It's a legitimate religion, you can become a priest and get tax breaks and discounted bus fares etc. but essentially it's a multilevel marketing scheme.
-------------------------------------------
All Hail Bob! All Hail Slack!
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:55:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey indo, ever heard of the Church of the Subgenius? It's basically a religion founded on the idea that religion is bullshit and openly mocks itself. It's a legitimate religion, you can become a priest and get tax breaks and discounted bus fares etc. but essentially it's a multilevel marketing scheme.
www.subgenius.com
Submitted by RaineLark (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:54:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I don't know what I'd do without my Friday night Filet and Fellatio combo"
Super!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:53:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:46:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
You forgot about the corner where everyone sits around and says, "Good thing we are not in a corner, those people in corners are so crazy."
hahahahaha
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:51:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:47:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:46:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
You forgot about the corner where everyone sits around and says, "Good thing we are not in a corner, those people in corners are so crazy."
_____
Touché
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This is now a plus two because you realize your bullshit is bullshit too. (Shhh we can't let this get out)
Submitted by vettesrule88 (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:51:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that is one many cornered room... like a hexatactylgon or something
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Highly excellent.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:47:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:46:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
You forgot about the corner where everyone sits around and says, "Good thing we are not in a corner, those people in corners are so crazy."
_____
Touché
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You forgot about the corner where everyone sits around and says, "Good thing we are not in a corner, those people in corners are so crazy."
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent analogy. I shall use this in the future
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:41:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Huh.....
Submitted by Sandecki (user info) at 2005-08-18 12:41:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You got to love the "corners"