I Have a Confession to Make (SPT) (899 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.21 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by _Q_ (View user info) at 2005-08-18 14:01:16 EDT
One time when I was around 12 or 13 years old I was at the mall with my mom. We got back to the car and she had to go back in for something so I said I would just wait for her since she was going to be quick about it.
While I was waiting I realized that I had to take a shit really bad. So I did what I had to. I shit in my hand and then threw it under the car.
You have no idea what it is like to have a steaming pile of your own poop in your hand inside of a warm car in the middle of a parking lot. You have no idea what to do with it, so don't judge me.
I don't know what bothered me the most about it, though.
Maybe it was the fact that pooping in my hand and throwing it was really fun.
Maybe it was the fact that I had to wipe my ass and hand on the blanket that was in the back seat. I don't remember if it smelled really bad or if my mom noticed, but I am sure she eventually did and had to wash the blanket. She has never said anything about it. Good thing the blanket was a light brown to begin with.
Maybe it was the fact that I didn't piss even though we all know that you can't take a shit without pissing at the same time... unless you piss before you sit down. But I didn't do that. Perhaps that was my greatest physical accomplishment of all time: shitting without taking a piss.
Maybe, though.. maybe the thing that bothered me the most was the fact that I thought I was all grown up and mature. But here I was, shitting in my hand and throwing it underneath a car.
No grown up and mature person does that. I can honestly say that most people around 12 or 13 are not mature people now.
I wonder if my mom saw the poop in the stall as she pulled out.
This hasn't been the thing that's been bothering me, though.
I have to confess that every time I think about this time, I wonder what it would be like to buy an adult diaper and poop myself.
Would it be as satisfying as I have always dreamed of?
PS - Bart should make SPT an offical category, with a steaming turd as it's logo. Maybe with some flies around it.
User Reviews
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-08-19 01:16:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-08-18 21:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you have irritable bowel syndrome or something? Holding my shit until I came across a toilet has never been a problem for me. Maybe it's willpower.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-08-18 21:08:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-08-18 19:45:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
class act
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2005-08-18 19:28:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just like a monkey at the zoo.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-08-18 19:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
well.. it IS SHIT post thursday.........
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-08-18 17:25:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, shit in the hand used to be my favourite game.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-08-18 16:34:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is this shit true? Cause I have shaken your hand before, and that is just nasty!!! No hard feelings, and just remember, nobody is as cool as Q!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-08-18 16:25:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to confess that every time I think about this time, I wonder what it would be like to buy an adult diaper and poop myself.
Would it be as satisfying as I have always dreamed of?
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-08-18 16:25:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if every shit post was as good as this, i'd love it.
but they're not.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-08-18 16:22:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:29:53 (#)
Ranking: 1
I refuse to ever shake your hand.
-----------------
Good point
Boys are gross!!!!!!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-18 15:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe that you just admitted to that.
heh. cool.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-08-18 15:47:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:27:17 (#)
Ranking: 1
YOU ARE AMONG FRIENDS
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-18 15:43:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know I always did like pissing in the street or bushes because you have no constraint, it's freedom. I had never applied this concept to excrements. Maybe I should buy diappers and shit myself to feel a true free man.
+2 for inducing reflexion.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-18 15:26:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is fucking disturbing
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-08-18 15:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You people need to get out more.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:57:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The fact that you pooped in your hand when you were 12 doesn't bother me.
The fact that 20 years later you've turned it into a full-blown scat fetish, however, does.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:29:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I refuse to ever shake your hand.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
YOU ARE AMONG FRIENDS
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"back into the trees, all of you"
God
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:15:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
uh...
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:15:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"You have no idea what it is like to have a steaming pile of your own poop in your hand inside of a warm car in the middle of a parking lot."
Says who?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:15:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gross.
Brave of you to admit this.
Still, though. Gross.
Submitted by dirtycyberdawg (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:14:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
One time when I was around 12 or 13 years old I was at the mall with my mom. We got back to the car and she had to go back in for something so I said I would just wait for her since she was going to be quick about it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
LIAR
You were 30yrs old
And this happened yesterday
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:12:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Sometimes I make little race cares out of my poop."
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:12:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow.
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okaaaaaaay.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:07:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:04:08 (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm sorry I have no idea how to rate this...
I feel awkward just typing now...
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
dont waste money on diapers, just shit an old pair of undies.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm sorry I have no idea how to rate this...
I feel awkward just typing now...
Submitted by goose (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:03:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm a white male, aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me! No matter
how dumb my suggestions are.
-- Homer Simpson
Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:01:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am going to make it up to her today by giving her some tickets to Def Leppard.