Tribute To Mai Tai The Badass Bird! (509 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.2 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by BadAssJulie (View user info) at 2005-08-19 01:58:00 EDT
I rescued Mai Tai, my cockatoo, about a year and a half ago from some people who weren't taking care of him at all. He's supposed to be about 18 or 19 years old now and he's been through a lot of shit but he's still the most kick ass bird I've ever met. This post is dedicated to him and the top ten reasons why he's such a badass.
Reason #1- Years 1 through 17- Mai Tai, known as Crackers during this time, lived outside in a cockatiel cage with a macaw twice his size. Not only did he survive the extreme heat and cold and only getting food and water when the owners felt generous, he also survived being picked on by a bird a lot bigger than him.
Reason #2- He was a little stressed out from this situation so he pulled out all his feathers. Now he's a bit of a nudist because he's done so much damage to the skin that his feathers won't grow back. Does he care? Nope. Mai Tai'll show off his nakedness to anyone he can.
Reason #3- When I got him he had a big puncture wound right on his spine from the other bird but he just skated it off.
Reason #4- We live in the ghetto and many of our neighbors are big scary black guys but Mai Tai still calls every last one of them a cracker. This has almost gotten us in trouble a few times because if they ask "what'd he say?!" I try to make something up but then he screams "cracker!!" at the top of his lungs!
Reason #5- If someone is afraid of him, he uses it to his advantage or tries to scare them even more. For example, my mom is terrified of birds so of course everytime she walks by his cage, Mai Tai grabs her shirt or arm or whatever. When he's out of his cage and she's nearby, he'll sit quetly until she's not paying attention and then he'll fly at her. When she freaks out and goes running, he starts laughing at her.
Reason #6- He has a yellow mohawk.
Reason #7- He won't take shit from any other animal no matter how big it is or how easily it can kick his ass. I took him to visit my friend and as soon as he saw her 18 pound cat, he raised his mohawk, screamed at it, and chased it out of the room. The cat wouldn't come out from under the bed for a few days after we left. He also bullies my two dogs. One is 70 pounds and the other is about 30. Mai Tai weighs just under a pound and attacks both of them at the same time. They won't come out of my room when he's out and they avoid even looking at him when he's in his cage. He's actually bitten my big dog twice when she got too close to him.
Reason #8- He can do a karate chop with his leg. Well, it's actually more of a wave but that's probably just what he wants us to think. He's actually a third degree black belt.
Reason #9- He has liver disease and a few other problems and can't really gain weight. Even though he probably feels like shit and is underweight, he just skates it of and still acts like a badass!
Reason #10- He's my bird.
Here's Mai Tai, the toughest bird you'll ever lay eyes on. Isn't he a sexy bitch?
User Reviews
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-09-01 17:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That bird is awesome!! I wish he was mine
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-08-19 17:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DooZa (user info) at 2005-08-19 02:50:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
That is the ugliest bird, ever.
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-19 17:21:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was good.
Save pictures as a .jpg for future reference :)
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-19 16:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had to give away my little Ticky - I have to move.
She was a Sun Conure, loud and playful.
*cries*
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-19 06:50:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
badassJulie?
Where you been all my life?
Submitted by Smithens (user info) at 2005-08-19 05:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA the bird looks like its insides are falling out
funny post!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-08-19 04:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty good.. birds scare me..
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-19 02:56:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That is one scary bird, and the post was pretty funny.
Submitted by DooZa (user info) at 2005-08-19 02:50:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That is the ugliest bird, ever.
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2005-08-19 02:38:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*sigh*
bmp's make the baby jesus cry