UMIII - Round 5 Anal... err... Begins Today (1477 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 1.23 on 60 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by _Q_ (View user info) at 2005-08-19 11:12:56 EDT
Round 5!
The Elite Eight!
The Consolation Bracket!!!! (yes!)
It all starts here.
Authors, don't forget that titles are being released today at 12 pm eastern time (roughly one hour from now). Submission and voting deadlines are as usual. That is, submissions are due at noon eastern on tuesday, voting ends noon eastern on thursday. Let's get this train back on the tracks, bitches!
The match-ups (in no particular order):
In Contention
-------------
domenad vs jack11058
ParlorTrick vs stevie_says
snark vs electrictoothsyndrome
pentameter vs antluvdog
Consolation round
-----------------
jgreening vs DonkeyOnTheEdge
JMG114 vs Bye (comicbookguy forfeit)
Slovin vs Bye (adamdidit2u forfeit)
Phallic_Cymbals vs Bye (razor forfeit)
In unrelated news, I've been named the captain of my golf team for the upcoming company tournament. How exciting is THAT!? I'll let you in on a secret though, *I'm not even the best golfer in the group!* LOLROFLOMGWTF!? How did that happen!?
Good luck one and all!
User Reviews
Submitted by omnifica (user info) at 2005-08-25 17:01:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
good luck to all who made it through. i hate you very much.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-08-24 12:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brand new Shlongy!
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-08-24 11:59:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sweet happy jebus, people. get out the vote!!!!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-08-23 13:08:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well. Fuck a duck. Nice titles this time around.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-08-22 18:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I HATE MY STORY.
HATE HATE HATE HATE.
NURRRRRRRR.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-08-22 18:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God-diddly-amnit I can barely wait to see the good shit coming out of this round. i think the ETS/Snark matchup will be one for the ages. screw that: all of them are going to rock, except for mine, where Domenad will feast on my lifeless remains like the fine-writing bastard cannibal he is...
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-08-22 18:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He is definitely a gentleman.
I ixnayed the idea of a word limit already though so it may be me in line for a reaming.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-08-22 18:14:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-20 00:07:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's come to some agreement or something.
Maybe we can do a self-imposed word limit?
If nothing else, let's agree to write something that's 500 words or less. Best piece wins. Shouldn't take 20 minutes to do.
There has to be a way. I'm willing to work with you. You're too good to go out this way.
--
You, sir, are a gentleman.
Either that or you are setting yourself up for a reaming.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-08-22 17:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't know how I managed it but my story is done, for better or worse.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-08-21 09:54:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
alright, domenad. i've just posted a 150 word discertation on the intricacies of particle physics as it relates to the formation of stable wormholes for potential human interstellar travel to that really cool krispy kreme the next star system over.
your move.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-20 07:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Round 5 Anal beings today?!?!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-08-20 07:30:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nah bro,
Lets just write as many words as it takes.
For now, I'm gonna try and sleep on it.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-08-20 06:51:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, go get thumb jack1
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-08-20 05:45:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you hit your prostate, you start cumming all over the place.
...so I've read.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-20 02:44:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going to try to give myself anal.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-20 02:23:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-08-20 01:14:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-08-19 16:11:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Good News!
My girlfriend just got diagnosed with Meningitis and I feel like shit.
Looks like you might have this one in the bag ETS.
***
"Spinal meningitis got me down..."
-----------------------
HAHAHA!!!!! HELL YEA!!!
Chocolate and Cheese is the SHIZZ!
AIDS!
de de dede de de de deeee dede de deeeee
HIV!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-20 02:21:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-08-20 00:57:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
ETS you rock.
Good news is its viral not bacterial. I feel like shite but I'll give it an effort man.
Lets see what hardcore muscle relaxant does for the ole imagination process.
I really look forward to your submission. You're an officer and a gentleman... k well maybe not an officer.
-------------------
So does that mean you wanna do the 500 words?
If so, just say the word.
I think it might be a nice shake-up anyway...
"Lets see what hardcore muscle relaxant does for the ole imagination process."
I see that as an advantage, by the way! :P
Nothing like narcotics to get the body out of the way for the mind and spirit to take over.
Let me know here if you want to do just 500 words. Let's give 'em hell either way!
Hang in there, dude.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-08-20 01:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-08-19 16:11:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Good News!
My girlfriend just got diagnosed with Meningitis and I feel like shit.
Looks like you might have this one in the bag ETS.
***
"Spinal meningitis got me down..."
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-08-20 00:57:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ETS you rock.
Good news is its viral not bacterial. I feel like shite but I'll give it an effort man.
Lets see what hardcore muscle relaxant does for the ole imagination process.
I really look forward to your submission. You're an officer and a gentleman... k well maybe not an officer.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-20 00:07:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-08-19 16:11:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Good News!
My girlfriend just got diagnosed with Meningitis and I feel like shit.
Looks like you might have this one in the bag ETS.
-----------------
Snark, you're not going out like that.
They're already saying I'm only here because of luck. That's no way to win. What good is winning if all your competition goes home?
Let's come to some agreement or something.
Maybe we can do a self-imposed word limit?
If nothing else, let's agree to write something that's 500 words or less. Best piece wins. Shouldn't take 20 minutes to do.
There has to be a way. I'm willing to work with you. You're too good to go out this way.
Email me so we can talk about it. electrictoothsyndrome.at.gmail.com
I haven't even started yet. In fact, I've been busy all day and don't know what the title even is yet. I'm checking on it right after this review. (I was fucking with everyone earlier)
Let me know something, dude. Wanna go 500 words?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-08-19 23:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-08-19 12:31:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Go Domenad! I want to lose to the winner...
------
I'm torn. I lost to Dome, so I want him to win.
But I've called Stevie winning since the beginning.
And I never emailed Q, but I got my title.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-08-19 23:21:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How the fuck do you guys have time for this?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-08-19 21:19:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're kidding me... Me and Donk are the only consolation match?
Yeesh.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-08-19 16:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My title is...
fun?
I don't know...
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-08-19 16:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*taps watch*
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-08-19 16:14:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ETS is the luckiest mofucker in this competition if that happens...
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2005-08-19 16:14:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have sent email.
I have been assimilated.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-08-19 16:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good News!
My girlfriend just got diagnosed with Meningitis and I feel like shit.
Looks like you might have this one in the bag ETS.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-08-19 16:10:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where's my email? Where's my title?
Where are my EYES?
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-08-19 16:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I emailed.
I'm cold. so cold...
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-08-19 16:03:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2005-08-19 15:16:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Domenad is a girl?
How can a girl POSSIBLY have a name contrived by concatenating the words "dome" and "nad"?
--------------
Not a girl, but I'm telling ya, he's got man-tits.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-08-19 15:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The titles are with bart, so he has to upload them before you can post.
All competitors e-mail me at djbabysmooth.at.hotmail.com
Once both you and your competitor has sent me a message, I will reply with your title so you can start working on your story.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-19 15:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-19 11:19:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
couldn't you just realign the consolation bracket so those with byes face one another?
----------
obviously not, this contest was fucked from the get go.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-19 15:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
NOBODY CARES NOW
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-08-19 15:44:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where's my title?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-19 15:44:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GHEYBEARD says YAR YAR PEENER
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2005-08-19 15:16:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Domenad is a girl?
How can a girl POSSIBLY have a name contrived by concatenating the words "dome" and "nad"?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-08-19 15:03:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2005-08-19 14:31:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the fuck is my title?
-------------
Could be an arranged forfeit so that Pentameter and domenad can meet in the finals. That would an all-tits UM Final showdown then....
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2005-08-19 14:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the fuck is my title?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-08-19 13:51:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-19 13:45:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
No more holding back.
Now it's on.
PS: This is a kickass title!
=============================
Har Har Peener!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-19 13:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No more holding back.
Now it's on.
PS: This is a kickass title!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-08-19 13:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
rizzo for uberlord.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-08-19 13:20:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i plan to write a 27 page emo-fest about losing my pet chihuahua to tail cancer. if i ever get my title, which better not be "how i lost my pet chihuahua to tail meningitis", because that will ruin my whole plan.
where is my title!?!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-08-19 13:19:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I blew my load on the first round.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-19 13:13:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Expecting the best writing so far....don't disappoint
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2005-08-19 13:02:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can someone post a picture of Pentameter? That name sounds good enough to lick.
She IS a she ... right?
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-08-19 12:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The spelling of "petnameter" was deliberate. Fuck you.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-08-19 12:56:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For the records, im gonna slave my fuckin balls off for this competition. I love these guys, emo style. Petnameter especially.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-08-19 12:31:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Go Domenad! I want to lose to the winner...
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-08-19 12:20:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tha bye makes me LARV JOO!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-19 12:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I won't name names as to who I hope will win.
I wish you all well.
COME ON GUYS. ENTERTAIN US!!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-08-19 12:02:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by adjones619 (user info) at 2005-08-19 11:57:33 (#)
Ranking: -1
WHAT IS THIS
=================
A COMPETITION TO SEE WHO HAS THE BIGGEST KIDNEY
Submitted by adjones619 (user info) at 2005-08-19 11:57:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
WHAT IS THIS
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-08-19 11:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
domenad vs jack11058
ParlorTrick vs stevie_says
snark vs electrictoothsyndrome
pentameter vs antluvdog
All very good writers and worthy contenders. I want Pentameter to win, even though she said my entry was a shitfest.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-08-19 11:42:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it's about goshdarned time.
that's right. i said goshdarned.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-08-19 11:24:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Adam punked out?
That dirty pig fucker.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-08-19 11:22:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It might be fun to read what JMG, Slovin and Phallic submit since they know they're going up against forefits.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-19 11:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
couldn't you just realign the consolation bracket so those with byes face one another?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-08-19 11:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Poor Jay and Donkey are the only ones in the consolation bracket who has to compete?
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2005-08-19 11:15:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOO!