Where Were You? (882 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.43 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ainkara (View user info) at 2005-08-19 14:30:39 EDT
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a little girl. This little girl was very sad. She never knew her father or her mother, and the only family she had was an old aunt. Her aunt was very mean to her, but she didn't know who to tell, so she didn't tell anyone at all.
One day, she decided to go looking for her father. Although she had never met him, she knew that he was alive. The village rumours said that he ran away after the death of her mother, unable to bear the familiar things around him that reminded him of her. The little girl had always wished he had stayed for her.
The day her search began was a day she would never forget. She took her doll and some food and put it in a small bag. She hesitated, then grabbed her blanket aswell. Then she ran out of the house of her aunt and didn't look back.
She walked for many days, and eventually her feet became sore. She stopped at any houses she could see to beg for food. Whenever she stopped at a house, the people there asked what such a young girl was doing out on her own. She just smiled, and said that she was looking for her father. They asked her to stay, but she just smiled again and said she would be fine.
Eventually, she came to another village, much like her own. She spoke her father's name and asked if anyone had seen him. Some of the people ignored her, too busy with their own lives. Most smiled and shook their heads. Then she found someone who had heard the name, and told her to try the next village along the road. The little girl smiled and continued her journey.
The same thing happened in the next village, and the next after that. The little girl found it easier to find people who had heard her father's name. She began to smile more often.
Then one day, when she asked about her father, a kind man smiled and offered to take her to him. She took his hand and he led her to a small inn on the outskirts of the town. He took her inside and for the first time she laid eyes on the man who was her father.
He was tall, and had a kind face. Brown eyes and brown hair, just like hers.
She hesitated.
"You're my father," she said.
He looked at her and a single tear made its way down his face. He could see the little girl's mother in her eyes, and it made him sad to think of all the time he had been gone. The little girl stepped forward, and he held her, as he wished he had been holding her for all these years.
"Where were you?" she asked, wiping a tear from her own face.
"I was lost. But you found me. And now I will never be lost again."
User Reviews
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-08-26 13:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice, but I would've ended it a bit differently:
---
She hesitated.
"You're my father," she said.
He looked at her and a smile spread across his face.
"No, Luke is your father."
"Who's Luke?"
"You know, that guy in Starwars that looks like an ice skater?"
"NOOOO!!"
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-08-21 21:07:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to post the announcement for the finals in half an hour.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-08-20 04:32:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you ever know you were in my uberfiction series?
ainkara wooooooooooooooooo!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-20 02:09:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not your best work but I think you're the bees knees so...
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-08-19 23:18:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
its just me but that "i ran off but you found me so im sorry" doesnt do it for me
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-08-19 23:09:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Did you rapist him?
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-08-19 22:11:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*love*
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-08-19 21:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I was probably spying in your window, trying to get a glimpse of your angst-ridden pussy.
Submitted by silent1 (user info) at 2005-08-19 19:03:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very sweet ending.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2005-08-19 17:29:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And where have you been for so long????
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-19 16:21:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MadJesterVince (user info) at 2005-08-19 16:07:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautifully done
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-19 15:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice...did you google father/daughter for the pic? I just found the same one on monday.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-08-19 15:37:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-08-19 14:52:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-08-19 14:44:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not bad.
Submitted by manicvelocity (user info) at 2005-08-19 14:39:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good writing gives me goosebumps.
Submitted by Mr-Boo (user info) at 2005-08-19 14:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
not bad. A little short on details, but who the fuck am I to complain.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-08-19 14:37:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
WHAT..?? No boobs??
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-08-19 14:35:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
whereever i go...here i am!
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-19 14:35:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice