Beastiality: an Uberpoll (903 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.28 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Pauly Snubnose (View user info) at 2005-08-19 17:44:43 EDT
I heard today that the man in Seattle whose colon was ruptured by a horse penis has now died as a result of his injuries, and it really made me think about fucking animals.
To set the record straight, I'm not into animals in a sexual way at all. I dont really care for them in a non-sexual way, either. Even their taste is overrated. Pig is weak sauce, and even cow is kind of meh.
But what if a situation arose in which it became necessary to have intercourse with one? Suppose a rare disease rendered all the humans on earth sterile, and God allowed your seed to combine with a single creature of your choice? (If you're a woman, God says you can squeeze out some some animal's eggs) Which creature would you choose?
Personally, I would go with a grizzly bear. When you think of someone fucking a horse, you're just disgusted by the perversion of the person. If you hear about someone fucking a grizzly bear, the first thing you think is "Wow! Someone managed to fuck a grizzly bear?"
Then again, it would be pretty sweet to roll up squishy-sneaky on a small rodent creature, like a squirrel, and watch it rip in half as I produce a massive erection.
Well, now that I have had time to think about it...
No. Nevermind. A grizzly bear. Definitely a bear.
User Reviews
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-10-10 01:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2005-08-20 12:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Definitely a bald eagle. KAW MOTHERFUCKER! KAW!
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-20 02:22:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-08-19 23:43:13 (#)
Ranking: -1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/26583
I have to -1 you just because I read it and it does sound like something I might write.
___________
Fucking moron.
TAKE NOTE: POLYWAFFLETWATSNOT HAS ARTISTIC LICENSE ON ANYTHING HE EVER WROTE ABOUT EVER, EVEN IF THE POSTS ARE NOTHING ALIKE
Submitted by Boon (user info) at 2005-08-20 00:53:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Horse.
Here's the video: http://content.amplovesyou.net/video/?file=226_08.mpeg (NSFW)
Submitted by WellFedEthiopian (user info) at 2005-08-20 00:06:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey! You! Bear-fucker!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-08-19 23:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/26583
I have to -1 you just because I read it and it does sound like something I might write.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-19 23:29:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AJ?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-08-19 23:29:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-08-19 23:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ive already fucked a mermaid. http://www.ubersite.com/m/72342
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-08-19 21:57:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pumpkin
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-08-19 21:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck the hypothetical, i'd fuck most Golden Retrievers if i just had a few beers in me.
Submitted by pfizzledizzle16 (user info) at 2005-08-19 21:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
IF it was me i would go with a monkey.They could do everything u could do with a human so fuck ya
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-08-19 20:13:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-08-19 17:49:25 (#)
Ranking: 1
three words: great white shark
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-08-19 19:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
bestiality
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-08-19 19:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Suppose a rare disease rendered all the humans on earth sterile, and God allowed your seed to combine with a single creature of your choice?
___________________
If the disease is rare, only a few people have to worry about not bearing children. And if you're sterile, you shoot blanks, so no matter what you fuck, there's no way you're getting offspring. Besides, God doesn't allow bestiality:
"And if a man lie with a beast, he shall surely be put to death: and ye shall slay the beast. And if a woman approach unto any beast, and lie down thereto, thou shalt kill the woman, and the beast: they shall surely be put to death; their blood [shall be] upon them."
- Leviticus 20:15-16
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2005-08-19 19:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you are a sick bastard.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-19 18:55:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I heard today that the man in Seattle whose colon was ruptured by a horse penis has now died as a result of his injuries, and it really made me think about fucking animals.
-----
what that story fails to mention is that his esophagus and stomach were ruptured too.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-08-19 18:30:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Giant squid.
Hell yeah, baby. I likes it like that. To quote Filthy's 'Nature. It's fucked up' post (http://www.ubersite.com/m/61429),
"All those tentacles allow for simultaneous penetration of cunt, mouth, ass, ears, and both nostrils and in my country that's spelled H-O-T."
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2005-08-19 18:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a whale. after doing your mom, i need to downsize.
zing.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-08-19 18:13:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'd fuck your mom. Boy is she ever an animal!!!
Submitted by Draqus (user info) at 2005-08-19 18:11:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't help feeling the traditional sheep is the way to go.
At least that way, you can go to conventions and things in rural parts, and meet some hot sheep-fucking chicks.
And ask them for sheep-fucking tips.
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2005-08-19 18:06:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd do a bat if I could. Mmmmmmm nocturnal
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-08-19 17:57:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would go with a Koala. I've always been into chicks with accents.
Submitted by userpete86 (user info) at 2005-08-19 17:57:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It made me smile.
I'd choose a mermaid.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-08-19 17:49:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
i stopped reading when you said 'meh' about the flavor of cow.
Rib Eye owns you.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-08-19 17:49:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
three words: great white shark
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-08-19 17:48:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah i think you should let that grizzly give you a hand job while your at. Yeah thats hot!
Submitted by Gilles_De_Rais (user info) at 2005-08-19 17:48:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment