Dear Ms Internet Celebrity... (1612 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.47 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Stin (View user info) at 2005-08-19 21:27:57 EDT
Dear Ms Internet Celebrity
In this day and age, there are very few teens and twenty-somethings who do not have access to an internet connection. Be it through home, school, college or the work place, it seems that everyone and their dog is now part of the "online revolution". Although millions of people log on every day, public forums appear to still be very much a male-dominated place. They consist of the stereotypical schoolboy nerd checking in with the latest video game cheats through the young politicos who feel that what they have to say is important enough to be broadcast throughout all humanity, right out to the college students procrastinating over that final essay.
Although young women are beginning to find their feet in this heady cyberworld, they are still in the minority. Because of this, they are uniquely placed to become internet stars; queens in a land of tapping fingers and clicking mice. Although on the internet anyone can become an "Insta-Celeb", it's much easier for women because of the novelty value they hold. It's somewhat akin to seeing a woman in a drum corps - you know they're there, but you can't see them for the crowd of men swarming around them like bees to the proverbial honeypot.
Women on the internet have a distinct advantage over their counterparts in real life however. The anonymity provided by technology allows them to temper or exaggerate their personalities to become exactly the person they want to be. For some that can be the person they would like to be in their every-day life, trendy enough to be popular, holding down a good job with a nice salary and a steady boyfriend. For others, it allows them a creative outlet with the all the advantages that being a woman in a man's world brings. Still more find that they can release the side of them that they must keep hidden from the outside world. They can air their more extreme views, creating controversy and mayhem to get their name recognised. This ability to mould themselves into whatever shape they desire has led to a startling rise of the female "internet celebrity".
The immediate mental image of an internet celebrity is not always favourable. To some people, it is instantly associated with hype and spin; someone who perhaps does not deserve the attention and renown which such people receive. They are seen as desperate people with too much time on their hands, clawing for attention in the only place where they can get it. Perhaps these cyberwomen have nothing better to do than to post in numerous online forums, garnering some kind of shallow respect for a picture showing a little flesh here, a suggestive comment there. There is an inherent lack of substance to the internet; nothing said or read has the power or weight behind it of a good orator or a thick-paged book. But perhaps that's not the point of internet celebrity. Maybe the best any star in the ascent can do is to take today's fame, because tomorrow it could all be gone.
There are different ways to achieve online notoriety. One of the most common places to see many women on the internet is the same as in the mainstream media - pornography. There are countless sites dedicated to what one might call "the study of a woman's form". This idea of sex selling has also found its way to places where you might not expect though, such as writers forums and gaming sites. One easy way for a woman to gain instant status is to display a picture of her body somewhere prominent. Combined with her user handle (often something suggestive or lewd), she is guaranteed to receive attention. If she is a true beauty this is the easiest way to get immediate recognition, although often at the expense of her relationship with any other women belonging to the same "club". If she's not a classical oil painting, well hey, it's the internet. Nobody will know whether it's her own picture she has posted or that of a minor film actress from Lebanon. This appearance-based validation is often nothing more than a desire to be seen in a light which she does not feel she is with the people she knows, and can occasionally swing violently against her depending on the prevailing mood of the site in question. "I'm all woman," these pictures seem to cry, "and I want everybody to know about it!"
That's not to say that the only people who upload a picture to the internet are seeking confirmation of their own beauty. Some people find that the best way to gain celebrity is simply by being themselves. However, once the dizzy heights of fame have been reached, these women often change to fit the accepted persona which they themselves have created. Where they may have started out being completely genuine and honest, they too begin to mould themselves to whatever they feel is expected from those who "know" them best. This often means a muting of strong opinions so as not to offend their supporters. After all, it's no fun to be simply well-known if what you desire is popularity. These women become softer, more likely to follow trends and be more sympathetic to those who appear to be more powerful than they are. Often, women in this situation will be somewhat sly; quietly focussing their attentions on those who can advance them up the food chain. They are also the most likely to have internet romances. These liaisons make them appear more lovable to their online peers, and if chosen correctly, the object of her affection can be a powerful tool and ally in her pursuit of the position of Queen Bee.
Other women go out of their way to garner controversy. Some play up to the typical "blonde" stereotype; they deliberately come across to others as vapid and less than intelligent. Often, these women will also be the ones who show pictures of themselves at every opportunity. Others play Devils Advocate in discussions, arguing that black is white for nothing more than ten minutes of notoriety. These overly opinionated women often relish being celebrities for the sharpness of their tongue and their ability to upset and anger others. They don't feel the need to be liked, just to get a rise out of as many people as possible.
All of these kinds of women make it more difficult for a woman without these intents. Some women belong to writers forums to do just that; write. Other women belong to online chess forums, car maintenance discussion groups and video game collectives because that's what they like to do in their spare time. However, if they hit upon a site which has had bad experience with women previously, it doesn't matter how much like "one of the lads" they are. They are instantly vilified by virtue of their gender. Some manage to overcome this and stay, Others will look elsewhere for a place to spend their time. But even if they leave, in the short time that they have been around they will have achieved a level of recognition untouchable by a man spending the same time in the same place.
So, Dear Ms Internet Celebrity, next time you go to bed thinking about your time online, remember this. No matter how much infamy you have in your own little corner of cyberspace, you are still a small, small fish in an increasingly large pond. If you are proud of the persona you have created, there will be one thousand other people who have created a persona they are equally at home with that is as far from who they are in the real world as you are from "LittleMiss1989". A dose of sunshine is what the doctor will suggest; get out into the real world and hone your communication skills with the ones you love. Taking off your clothes will get you noticed but never respected, and finally, you are as much a human as the person behind the monitor 5000 miles away laughing at what you believe to be real.
User Reviews
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-10-19 03:38:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is so
<sigh>
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-10-17 04:10:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG! I've just found the unlimited lives cheat for Alex Kidd 3! Can't wait to tell the guys down at the "Maoists against apple juice" forum.
This was really good, Stink. More reasons to be glad I'm not a bird.
"queens in a land of tapping fingers" - Is that a reference to Pock Hobbert?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-10-11 13:44:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
plus fucking 2.
you rock my world.
We will meet one day. I'll prob come over to a US Ubercon..
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-09-21 03:25:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Absolute fucking 2.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-09-05 05:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well reasoned. Not sure we fully agree on all the points... check this- http://www.ubersite.com/m/73737
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-08-24 07:34:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2005-08-22 14:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"..that of a minor film actress from Lebanon."
Interesting choice there. I like details like that.
A similar situation has been taking place with female cable news "contributors".
Submitted by thechairnamedgod (user info) at 2005-08-22 14:36:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey i came up with that title
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-22 14:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-08-20 01:52:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
This really looks like a dig at certain Uber people, even though you say it isn't.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-08-22 00:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hello again.....
good stuff
Submitted by Id (user info) at 2005-08-21 19:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bravo.
This kinda makes me think about why I post on Uber in the first place. Is it the need to write or the need for ranking?
..............................................
meh. I think I'll have a bagel.
Submitted by GaidinCanuck (user info) at 2005-08-21 13:46:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Who'd've thought the internet would reflect real life scoial habits?
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-08-21 12:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-08-20 21:53:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Why have we descended to a pissing contest?
"My daddy can beat up your daddy, SO THERE!"
Jesus, the pair of you. Step away from the computer. Take five minutes to walk around outside, smoke a cigarette, get some fresh air. Seriously, you're both gonna take about 7 years off your lives if you carry on at this rate, or die of heart failure in the next hour.
************************
I love it when I read something smart and rational in a ridiculous thread of replies. I don't know why but this comment made me want to give you a hug.
YAY! A SMART PERSON!!
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-08-20 20:23:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What can I say.........
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-08-20 20:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No worries dude.
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2005-08-20 19:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice to see you too, Natty my old friend.
Since this post bothered you, please can you tell me how I could improve it?
-----------------
Shit, I apologize for ranking this a -2. It's more of a habit this days, I'm so used to just rating shit. Please accept my apologies.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-08-20 17:59:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think as soon as you used the internet, the inherent thought is that Uber is involved. This was a lot of good observation, but a lot of generalization too.
The funny thing is, you could swap men in there with a few minor changes.
"My emu can beat up your emu."
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-08-20 17:49:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is cheating cheating if the cheatee kind of starts to suck?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-20 17:02:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was with you pretty much all the way up till the last two paragraphs, then you lost me somewhat, but still good.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-08-20 16:57:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-08-20 16:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting perspective.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-08-20 16:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff, all seriosity
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-08-20 14:29:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2005-08-20 12:57:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Women definitely are not in the minority on the internet.
One word: porn.
___________________________
Thankyou for actually BOTHERING TO READ THE WHOLE THING.
Argh! Why do I bother?
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2005-08-20 12:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Women definitely are not in the minority on the internet.
One word: porn.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-08-20 12:34:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice to see you too, Natty my old friend.
Since this post bothered you, please can you tell me how I could improve it?
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2005-08-20 08:36:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Urbane, I think Stin just told you to get a life. You should really think about that.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-08-20 05:09:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Late night crew.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-08-20 03:20:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the hell are you doing up at this time of the night/morning?
-Dave
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-08-20 02:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dave, it REALLY isn't a dig at anyone on Uber. It's a piece I'm hoping to refine and maybe try and sell and is based in generalities.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-08-20 01:52:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This really looks like a dig at certain Uber people, even though you say it isn't.
-Dave
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-20 01:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very insightful.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-19 23:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I see MI is well represented tonight. This was interesting. Sex on the internet??? Nevar
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-08-19 23:16:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Open up a booth in a mall and give tourists blow jobs.
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2005-08-19 22:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Lamer than my grandma's legs.
Submitted by EvolvedChicken (user info) at 2005-08-19 22:53:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know a few cutters.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-08-19 22:16:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EvolvedChicken (user info) at 2005-08-19 22:16:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"I also take offence at the remark about cutting, because it's screamingly obvious this 15 year old imbecile, quite apart from being incoherent and babbling, doesn't know what the ever-living hell they're talking about."
What the hell are you talking about? It's as if cutters say "I'm in so much pain, I'll just myself with a blade even though common sense tells me it will hurt me phisically and leave a scar!"
By the way. You can write anything that's intelligent from religion to politics in such wonderful grammer while even separating the paragraphs and still get pounced on by people like you.
Shut up.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-08-19 22:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
huh.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-08-19 21:50:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well presented argument. Lots of good points here...I think that some of what you said can be applied to males as well.
U R so smrt
I enjoy reading your stuff.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-08-19 21:46:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
JPeg's title, I just looked it up.
Just a note - this is not about Uber, just general ramblings.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-08-19 21:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
not my title, but I love the essay
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-08-19 21:29:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've decided that since I have no mojo right now, I'm using suggested UM titles to write stories, articles, open letters, blog entries... You name it.
This is one. If it's yours, claim it!