A question, a poem, and some random weekend crap. (1266 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: crap:humour
Rating: 1.54 on 51 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Circe <fickle.muse.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-08-20 10:03:37 EDT
When people post their pictures, I take maybe two seconds to look at their face. The rest of it is examining what's around them; I want to know what's on their desk, what's on their walls, what's in the room with them. These little glimpses of life are more interesting than a simple photo of a face.
So, it's the weekend, and as I've pointed out time after time, I have no life. It's Saturday night and the house is clean, the kids are in bed, the Dutchman is watching some bloody history thing - hang on - ("What are you watching?" "Napoleonic History.") about Napoleon, apparently... he's great to be married to. I don't need to remember anything about anything, I can just ask him. He knows stuff about dates and kings and wars. I know stuff about Chinese torture. It depends on your area of interest, you know?
So. I want to know what's on your desk. Where you are, right now, what's on it? What are you listening to? What other windows do you have open besides this one? "Share", as they say in the group therapy they ended up kicking me out of for being disruptive (no, that's a lie, they didn't kick me out. But when it was finished, I made everyone a South Park character bookmark with a quote on it that suited them. They were all thrilled; they loved me. I was "cheerful").
Here's some random stuff that passes as "content."
User Reviews
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-08-28 15:40:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
derka derka
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-22 19:58:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice burka
Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-08-22 05:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Apollo old horse, why don't you go and boil your head.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-08-22 05:54:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-21 13:33:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Rad - yes.
Apollo - no, I'm really not. """
Oh.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-08-22 04:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO TODAY, NAPOLEAN?
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-08-22 01:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Way too much crap to mention on my desk.
Most of it is here http://www.ubersite.com/m/65307
Add a couple of dirty coffee mugs swiftly growing my own anti-biotics, some different bottles an iPod and you get the picture.
-Dave
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2005-08-21 21:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My laptop (which is currently downloading Rat Pack music and bluegrass and playing classical bits from various operas and Stephen Lynch)
A coffee cup half-full of yesterday's coffee(cold) (which doesn't mean I won't still drink it)
Two CD wallets
A water bottle
My cell phone
A book on the relevance of Christianity in the modern world
A book on European superstitions
The collected works of Rudyard Kipling
'Race Matters' by Cornel West
A pair of Special Forces throwing knives I need to sharpen
A bottle of butane for my Zippo
My Zippo
Half a pack of cigarettes
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-08-21 14:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and those pictures are awesome.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-08-21 14:34:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That poem send shivers down my spine. Creeeeepy!
On my desk is a digital camera that doesn't work. Two computer speakers that are never on. Some things that my mother and I plan to sell on Ebay in the fall. A #2 yellow pencil and some blank CDs
for burning. The remote control for the TV is atop the computer printer which also doesn't work. A few pieces of paper with some notes and numbers. And that's about it!
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-21 13:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rad - yes.
Apollo - no, I'm really not.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-08-21 13:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You are better than 'every time I go near his credit card' sub-seinfeld-esque jokes.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-21 10:12:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously.
call me, we will set it up.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-21 10:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Will you imprenate me?
Please?
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-21 09:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Around me? On my desk? It's all the work I'm supposed to be doing everyday that gets discarded for meaningless internet shenanigans
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-21 08:22:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm surprised and thrilled by the number of people who are as neat and organised as me. They need to start marketing bigger desks.
Snark, I don't want to know why you have a salt shaker and a nipple ring. Those two together just seem... threatening.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-08-21 07:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm listening to closing time by semisonic cause I'm at home (no speakers at work). I only really came here to see if my Uberverssary post had any more reviews but you know how it is, I will soon be leaving the house and desperately try not to be so pathetic as to come here again before Monday.
I don't have a desk because I'm currently viewing Uber on my living room's big screen with my wireless keyboard on my lap and my mouse on the arm of the sofa. A little bit of an unecessary luxury for a person of my meager wage? Heck no! Best purchase of my life this projector!
Why I'm rambling like this I don't know.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-08-20 23:36:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, starting from the top and working down.
Speakers
Two random plants that my wife likes
A set of car keys
Three pieces of blue and white pottery that my wife likes to collect
Two scented candles
One eyeglass case
One pair of Persol prescription sunglasses
One set of lawnmower keys
Two baseballs
One pecil sharpener (shavings included)
Two empty diet cola cans
A printer
One pack camel lights three quarters full
One lighter
One Topps 1979 Ken Griffey baseball card
One package of pretzels
One Rand Mcnally road atlas
One Franklin planner
One pair boys underwear size M (10-12)
One completely finished puzzle of a T-Rex
Submitted by dwype (user info) at 2005-08-20 21:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
dunno what to call them...headphone-type thingies that who's sole function is reducing the number of sound waves entering my ears. a bunch of random papers my dad left on the desk, 'cause he's researching a good vacation spot. as to windows open...43things.com is kinda interesting.
toodles
- the one who cares about things that matter most.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-08-20 18:20:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-08-20 10:10:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm at home. I'm watching some crap Hollywood gang movie. My desk has got about 12 empty packets of cigarettes and about 14 empty bottles of water on it.
==============
Switch the water bottles for beer bottles.
Also I have a salt shaker, a lighter, a nipple ring, and my entire DVD collection which is currently made up of.
Dog Soldiers
28 Days Later
The Graduate
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
Saving Private Ryan
Excalibur
This is Spinal Tap
The Salton Sea
oh, and an empty pickle jar.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-20 17:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're too funny.
I have a pez dispenser, a portable phone, some cd's and a my toe rings.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-08-20 17:32:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A half finished can of Stella, a digital camera, a stuffed koala named Bruce, a postcard with a doctored roadsign on that reads "CAUTION! WHORES!", a piece of volcanic rock, Hawk the Slayer on dvd and an Amy Hempel book.
Other windows open include Word where I was desperatly trying not to write anything emo, something about the history of Oxford and iTunes, currently playing 'And you will know us by the trail of the dead'
I feel strangely cleansed now.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-08-20 17:17:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Huh?
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-08-20 16:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post.
My desk currently has on it- a pocketwatch, a 'to do' list (which has been lying there for some days now), a half-full cup of coffee (I put brandy in to keep me awake and it tastes like Satan's armpit), a dvd of 'Five Easy pieces', a cute little mini-stapler and a cookie of questionable origin.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-08-20 16:43:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bottle of Sobe.
My cat. The young one, not the old one.
crust of a ham sammich.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-08-20 16:08:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the poem.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-08-20 15:40:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A glass, a can of pringles, a bottle of water, my webcam, and a lamp.
The other windows I have open are two AIM windows. One of which is yours.
Submitted by jet_stream_nz (user info) at 2005-08-20 15:09:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My desk has my coffee mug (still waiting for someome to make some)
2 Screens, 2 Keyboards, 2 Mice ... My Diary ... 2 Phones (1 is cordless)
A container of Isowipes ...
My headset box ...
Two of those draws that you monitors sit on to raise the height ...
My headphones ...
A page covered in follow ups for things that have been fucked up ...
Yes the delight of my desk at work ...
Submitted by FallenZer0 (user info) at 2005-08-20 13:58:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
on my desk- half full cup of water, green pen, paper i've been doodling on for a month, printer, seashells, giant lobster claw, taxidermied spikey puffy fish (i have no idea.) necklace made of seashells, glasses of seashells, crystal ball in, you guessed it, a seashell...
i have "smack my bitch up" stuck in my head. ARRRGHHGHG
i have one of those scarves!! mine is blue though, and not sparkly =(
i like that poem alot too =) it seems like something you'd teach a kid and they'd teach their kid ect..
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-20 13:08:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
On my desk I have crumbs from the sandwich I just ate.
I have a phone I hope doesn't ring.
I have a cup full of yesterday's coffee.
There is a pillow I brought from home so if I feel like taking a nap instead of calls, I can.
There is a pair of sunglasses that are chipped at the bottom because I dropped them once and popped the lens out, but instead of buying a new pair, I simply used my ingenuity and repaired them.
There is a Sprite with a condensation ring around the bottom. I was thinking of getting a Mountain Dew next. Did you know they don't have Mountain Dew in England? Why!?
Other windows open:
A site about busking.
This month's Vonage bill online.
One labeled "The Man is Clearly Tr..."
"Page Cannot Be Displayed"
Outlook Express (The biggest piece of this program in the world.)
I'm not listening to anyhing, but I have a song by Iron and Wine spinning around in my head over and over again. Right now, it's soothing me immensely. It's one of those simple little melodies that make you think that if some little ditty can make you feel this way, then anything must be possible.
--
Your poem was good. It reminds me of a song I wrote not long ago: http://www.electrictoothsyndrome.com/songs/Sessions/nightlight.mp3
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-08-20 13:06:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm listening to boxcar racer and crying for about the fifth time this week for no fucking reason... And my boyfriend is out in Northbridge without me. *sniffs*
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2005-08-20 12:44:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This post pissed me off.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-08-20 12:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here, you should have a gas with this:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73496#1536379
(It's a picture of my desk. Or my nuts. Who knows really? Surprises always make life more fun.)
Sphag: You can just turn off the movie right now. And break the DVD in half. And then burn it.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-08-20 12:11:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have this odd sensation in my leg to go buy a case of beer and gently throw it at a map of Australia. Thanks.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-08-20 12:09:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-08-20 11:58:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the bedtime story! Write one for my kids, will ya?
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-08-20 11:33:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
desk: keys, two phones, butter knife, cup of ranch dressing, cup with old tea-bag in it, excuse ball. Big honking fucking computer, my bidness cards (pimpin is da bidness), magic marker, empty coke bottle, empty tupperware container (I stole and ate the entire bin of my bosses beloved chex-mix) kleenex (for when done slapping the monkey around to internet porn).
at my crack house: tons of shit. I'm a bachelor, so it's mostly all over the floor in various stages of decay and disarray. I'd be embarrassed to have anybody over, except for my regular posse of ho's and crack-ho's and fellow pimps.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2005-08-20 11:28:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1. Sunpass (toll road thingy so I don't have to stop at booths...not yet out
of package...need for new job next week.
2. Rolodex...some people can't get
into a palm pilot
3. blank? cd
4 camcorder and tape battery
5. coaster
6. guy I met in chat's drivers license history
7. stapler
8. HP photosmart printer
9. On the wall above computer is painting my great grandfather did
of palm trees and mountains...I think it is suppose to be some
exotic island...not that great of art...but it was in a frame.
I love the camwhore!!!
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-08-20 11:20:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's see...
desk: the book I'm reading (The Snow Fox. Ecxellent read.) 2 overful ashtrays, 2 packets of cigs, one empty, one mostly empty, spare bits of paper, my journal, tin of Godivas that Godchicken sent for my birthday, empty bowl, fork, lighter, Sobe lid that says "I believe you have my stapler" on it, crazy lam from Marakesh.
in my bedroom: Half naked sexy boyfriend stopping me making the bed, a yard of purple vinyl and 2 yards of black pleather for purposes unknown, too many shoes, laundry, devil-kittens, pirate stuff for my birthday party tonight, my nicely appointed smoke tray complete with peach-flavoured wrappers that come in a little roll instead of individual sheets so that if I want to roll n obscenely long joint, I can, half-played monopoly game disrupted by the kittens, and a phone book.
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-08-20 11:20:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*grin* i liked the aubrey hepburn look - very mysterious
um
on my desk
a 120GB portable harddrive
a cd case
a bottle of antihistamines
a pair of earphones i've knotted up
a stick of glue
a post-it pad
lip ice
empty coffee cup
a toy spider
pinky and the brain
a water bottle
a tupperware container with sunflower seeds
vitamin c tablets
a pen
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-20 10:54:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have a very animated face.
Just checking in on this in between ripping tile out of my bathroom.
My desk has bills, 3 old cell phones, a lamp with no shade, the innards of a Dutch Master Honey, 4 cd's by Stephen Covey, a bottle of blowing bubbles, a bottle of Cinch glass cleaner, and but of other stuff.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-20 10:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-20 10:32:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
And no, I'm not, but my mother has never been able to explain to my satisfaction why I'm three shades darker than the rest of my family.
--------------------------------------
Hahahahaha
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-20 10:32:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thorpe - yes, that's exactly what I wanted.
That post was hilarious..
You ate the questionable and ancient lifesaver, didn't you? I know you did...
And no, I'm not, but my mother has never been able to explain to my satisfaction why I'm three shades darker than the rest of my family.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-20 10:30:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, you look slightly Aboriginal in those photos. Are you part Aboriginal?
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-08-20 10:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-20 10:24:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sphag, I've never been able to make it all the way through that movie. I always find something more important to do, like seeing how long I can hold my breath.
-------
Duly noted. I just saw a guy get kicked 10 feet across a room. That is when I stopped paying attention.
Thorpe and facial hair?? HAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-20 10:26:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've wanted to do a post like this, but I was afraid it would clutter the place up with people posting pictures.
I'll give you the report.
-------------------------
Transferring music to my oh-so-fantabulous mp3 player at the moment. The Who, Neil Young, Holst's "The Planets", R.E.M and the Whitlams.
Shitty headphones and broken alarm clock on computer desk in front of me. Also spare change, a copy of the White Pages, a pair of scissors, lip balm, a clothespeg, random public policy textbooks, a lifesaver that on closer inspection turns out to be... musk, a letter from the government inviting me to clarify whether or not I will be an organ donor, a twisty-tie-thingy, and a voucher to the Indian restaurant down the road. Computer desk is clogged and inoperable.
Bed is nicely made. Bill Bryson's "Notes from a Big Country" and keys are on the bed.
Turtle is on the rock. He thinks it's daytime, because his light is on. It's fun to screw with his mind.
There are half deflated balloons on my main desk from my 18th a couple of weeks back. Along with PVC glue, more fucking textbooks and lecture notes. And a bottle of rum.
I have worn these jeans for five days in a row now without washing them. This jacket stinks because I haven't washed it for about a month, and I wear it everywhere. Shirt is clean.
The whiteboard on my wall is reminding me to go for my license again already, and various arrangements regarding opportunities for the consumption of large quantities of alcohol.
I just heard a noise in the trees outside.
View Thorpe's room as of a couple of months ago in full 3D Thorpe-o-vision: http://www.ubersite.com/m/62304 Add a shelf above the computer desk with a globe and that little flag on it for added up-to-date realism. Add a centimetre to Thorpe and the slight hint of facial hair. And rug him up because it's cold now.
-------------------------------------
Was that the kind of stuff you were looking for?
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-20 10:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sphag, I've never been able to make it all the way through that movie. I always find something more important to do, like seeing how long I can hold my breath.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-08-20 10:21:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The crap movie that I'm watching is called "Romeo must die".
Can someone tell me whether it is worth persevering with? It seems to blow pretty hard from what I've seen so far.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-20 10:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
C1ndy, thank you.
Now I have to explain to him why I need to buy a plane ticket to the UK... should be easy enough.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-08-20 10:15:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't have a desk- I have a laptop. I'm watching the football results come in with my husband and one of our cats. Well he is watching it.
I would wear that scarf to a christmas party with a black dress. I'm having a party for you Circe so you can wear it, ok?
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-08-20 10:14:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
14 empty cigarette packets?
Sounds like fort-building time..
On my desk, which is really a niche in the floor-to-ceiling bookcase in my study, I have a glass of iced coffee, an ashtray, cigarettes, a letter from the plumber, a Dutch-to-English dictionary, and 68 paper cupcake cup things that my daughter found in the cupboard and bought me as a "present" four days ago.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-08-20 10:10:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm at home. I'm watching some crap Hollywood gang movie. My desk has got about 12 empty packets of cigarettes and about 14 empty bottles of water on it.
I have another browser window open on google. I was thinking of posting since I can't sleep but I'm fresh out of ideas (as usual).
Maybe I'll play video games instead.... Who knows?