Adventures in Hospitality: Things you probably didn't want to know about the last motel you stayed in (1426 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.36 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ashlee (View user info) at 2005-08-23 12:54:58 EDT
A couple weeks ago, I went into work, only to find that the store I was employed by no longer seemed to exist. The inventory, the computer and cash register, the paperwork, the furniture and store sign were just gone. At first, I thought we had been robbed, but I soon realized that things had been taken which would clearly have been of no use to any criminal.
And so began the job search. Summer being the slow season, and by slow I of course mean "ghost town," the search was proving quite fruitless. I was growing frustrated and discouraged. Then I remembered that I have a lot of friends, said fuck it, and started asking around to see who could get me in somewhere until I could find a more permanent solution.
Cue Robbie, the general manager of a local franchise location of a major motel chain which, due to the fact that I don't want to get us both fired, shall remain nameless at least until I don't work there anymore. One of the housekeepers on his staff had just quit, leaving him in a bit of a tight spot, so for the time being, he and I are helping each other out. The hours are decent, the pay doesn't suck, and it's better than nothing right now. And I've learned some very interesting things. I feel it is my duty to share them now with you.
A lot of things in a motel that you would think should get sanitized, don't.
People die in motel rooms a lot more often than you'd think.
You know that guy that set up the continental breakfast? He scrubbed at least one toilet immediately prior to doing so. And he probably didn't wash his hands.
It's safe to assume that they change the linens every day, unless a guest requests otherwise. The blankets, however, are a different story. Most motel beds have two blankets, neither of which get laundered. Ever.
Most motel rooms have chairs in them. Some even have recliners or loveseats. People have sex on those. They're among the things that don't get sanitized.
The desks too.
And the tables.
And the nightstands.
Actually, you can probably just assume that if someone can be bent over it or fit their naked ass on it, they have.
I lied about the linens getting changed every day.
Ever slept on a matress that someone else has urinated/defecated/vomited/bled on? No? Wanna bet?
People do really strange things in the bathtubs.
Said bathtubs are not cleaned all that well.
About forty percent of those bathtubs were cleaned with the same brush as the toilet.
Want to guess which got cleaned first?
The toilets aren't really cleaned all that well either.
Don't use the coffeemaker. Just trust me on this one, okay?
That pubic hair on the bathroom floor? It's probably not one of yours.
On that note, the bathroom floor isn't as clean as it looks. Bringing a pair of flip-flops or something to wear when in the bathroom would not be a bad idea.
I'm not even going to bring up the subject of the pool.
There's more, I'm sure, much more, but I haven't been doing this very long. And, in light of all this, chances are I won't be doing it much longer... I don't deal well with dirty, and dirty is what this business appears to be. Do keep in mind that this is actually a fairly upscale company, as motels go, and just try, if you will, to imagine what a lower-end motel must be like...Oh, and enjoy your next vacation!
User Reviews
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2005-10-14 00:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Eeesh! Yuck!
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-09-19 01:26:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-09-01 20:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cchero (user info) at 2005-09-01 19:34:58 (#)
Ranking: -1
Don't be so fucking poor and then you can stay in a HOtel
________
I'm not staying there, braintrust, I work there. Learn to read, eh?
Submitted by cchero (user info) at 2005-09-01 19:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Don't be so fucking poor and then you can stay in a HOtel
Submitted by Hector_Ramirez (user info) at 2005-08-27 17:08:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Disturbing but ammusiing. I also saw your picture. YOu are very pretty.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-08-24 20:13:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...assume that if someone can be bent over it or fit their naked ass on it, they have.
I live my life by that philosophy.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-08-24 10:41:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2005-08-23 19:59:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Put that down, you don't know where it's been."
=================================================
my mother used to say that about a girl I dated in college.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-08-23 21:55:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should talk to Lechuga about this, he has some information that would make even this seem timid, shy and mild. Disturbing, huh? I'll tell him he should leave some info on here- you'll be quite disgusted, especially the details about people dying in hotel rooms.
>shudder<
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-08-23 20:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I HAVE to know about the coffee pot.
Please explain that one. Can't be worse than what I'm imagining, though..
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2005-08-23 19:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There was an episode of Oprah where they did tests to see what was the most unsanitary item in an average hotel room, not including the obvious, like toilets and such. Was it the ass covered chairs or nightstands? No. Or the headboards, perhaps, which you know must be simply encrusted with pecker tracks? No. It was the TV remote. It was crawling with, er, fecal bacteria. Which sheds a (w)hole new light on the phrase, "Put that down, you don't know where it's been."
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:26:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's not so much that all hotels are dirty, but that Florida is inhabited by the dirtiest people in the world for 6 months each year. They are called retired Canadians.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:11:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will stay in those old 'Route 66' motels though - they expose you to YEARS worth of diseases...
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Night life? Sluts? Are we thinking of the same Panama City here? Because all I remember are old people and crazy church folk.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-08-23 15:25:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
panama city, oh how i miss your sandy beaches, your happenin' night life, and your slutty women.
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-08-23 15:08:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Glad to know no one has cleaned the cumshot I left on the comforter at the Tradewinds in Panama City Beach, Florida.
Submitted by Boon (user info) at 2005-08-23 15:06:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-08-23 15:03:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate hotels/motels already.
This has just enhanced my hatred for them.
Submitted by papaya_princess (user info) at 2005-08-23 14:21:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crudite (user info) at 2005-08-23 14:16:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think I've ever had sex on a motel nightstand. <note to self>
Thanks.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2005-08-23 14:11:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I should've heeded the advice of the title. 'Cause I didn't want to know. Well-presented though, especially the "I lied about the linens.."
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-08-23 14:08:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A couple years ago I designed a special hidden camera to help security to catch housekeeping at a hotel stealing things from the guest rooms...not only did BOTH of the maids steal items, one of them actually took the "guests" toothbrush and scrubbed the toilet with it...thats just not right...
Submitted by CoffeeAndSmokes (user info) at 2005-08-23 14:07:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
yuck
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-08-23 13:59:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-08-23 13:00:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
I have the same problem at my house, I've had sex on every surface and wall of our place and the wife refuses to sanitize everything
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And I thought I was alone....
Oh wait, I'm not married though
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2005-08-23 13:29:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should make this into a series of some sort.
Submitted by spamtrap50 (user info) at 2005-08-23 13:27:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good to know.
Submitted by brokenlizard534 (user info) at 2005-08-23 13:12:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thats great
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-08-23 13:03:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
all true. I've worked in those places.
Submitted by ChannelDunlap (user info) at 2005-08-23 13:02:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to be that guy who set up breakfast. It was better when I cut myself setting stuff up and just kept going. I smiled big at every customer who checked out that day.
some places do wash the blankets once a week, or once every two weeks. Everything else you said is true, though.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-08-23 13:00:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have the same problem at my house, I've had sex on every surface and wall of our place and the wife refuses to sanitize everything
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-08-23 12:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ew.
Although I know of one or two hotel beds that haven't had sex in em. At least not in one weekend.