How The Allman Brothers Can Destroy Your Weekend. (1036 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.9 on 53 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by NumLock (View user info) at 2005-08-23 15:44:51 EDT
I went to my 14th Allman Brothers concert on Saturday the 20th, and it was all I imagined it to be.
That's a lie.
Moe was to open for the brothers, and they are a good band, but for me ..the concert started at 8:00, when the Allmans take the stage.
The following is the events of Saturday the 20th - Monday the 21st, in chronological order, as best as I can recollect.
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SATURDAY:
9:00 AM - Get out of bed, go to Stop N Shop, get tons of burgers, hot dogs, and other barbeque supplies. Also pick up about 5 pounds of peaches. (Handing peaches out at an Allman Brothers Concert is awesome ..in exchange for the fruit, dudes would give me bottled water, a beer, a hit off of their spliff, or a dollar or something, and chicks would give me a hug or a kiss on the cheek)
9:30 AM - Drive to all of my friends' houses, honk the horn twice, give them a minute or two to get in the car, otherwise they are on their own for a ride over to Mark's house (which is where we are barbequeing)
10:15 AM - After driving to 12 different houses/apartments, only one of my friends was already outside waiting for me. Good Ole' Ricky. Yea sure, I pissed him off once so he started shitting at my house and leaving it behind for me to flush. But he's always there when you need him!
10:30 AM - Ricky and I stop at the packie to get a 30 rack of BLs and our 'Southern Brother Special'. Which has a name that is far too fancy compared to the only two ingredients, Southern Comfort and Apple Juice.
10:45 AM - Get to Mark's house, turn the Allman Brothers up waaaayyy too loud, crack a beer and fire up the grill. The three of us are starting the day off right.
12:00 PM - 10-12 more people show up with copious amounts of beer. The Bocce/Horseshoe tournaments commence.
1:00 PM - Drinking.
2:00 PM - Getting drunk.
3:00 PM - Everyone starts getting packed up and ready to head down to Great Woods. I have to wait for my girlfriend to get out of work. Everyone takes off (except good ole Ricky) for Great Woods, while I wait for my girlfriend and her friend.
3:15 PM - I swear a lot, not so much in anger at my girlfriend for being late, but more so frustration for losing my buzz.
4:00 PM - Luckily, I only live about 15-20 minutes to Great Woods. We were only a half hour behind the group of people we were originally with, which means we were in the same lot, only 5 rows back. We got our coolers and chairs, and migrated up to the rest of the group. Someone brought a funnel, and it seemed a great idea at the time to fill it up all the way (3 beers) and have a go at it, twice.
4:05 PM - Shot of Jack Daniels.
4:05:30 PM - Vomit
I figure by this time I've had 15-18 beers, plus an additional 6 that I funneled, a shot of Jack, and a quarter pint of SoCo.
The hours between 4:30 PM and 8:00 PM (Start of the show) were, for the most part, uneventful. We mostly walked around, handed peaches out, and casually sipped our beers. Even if you don't like the Allman Bros, I highly recommend going down to the lot at least once in your life. The people are all happy to be there doing exactly what your doing. Once the sun starts setting, you can almost see an aura of happiness over the crowd that intoxicates you even further. I've been waiting all summer for 8:00PM on this day, the opening act was done, The Allman Brothers were about to take the stage.
There was a group of about 20 of us that all walked in through the main gates single file, I was towards the end of the line. This is where the shit hit the fan, as they say.
Keep in mind that I am freakin HAM-SLAMMED by this point.
I get through the gates, and everyone I was with had disappeared. I didn't make a big deal out of it, because theres a section on the lawn that we always meet up and party at. I'd meet them there. I went to the bathroom and got in line to buy beer at $7.50 a piece. Damnit.
I'm standing in line, when a pimple-faced 12teen year old comes up to me and starts flirting pretty hard. It was obvious she wanted me to buy her a beer.
"Sorry toots"
I approach the bar and order 2 Budweisers, to which the vendor replied "Nope, sorry"
"Ok..." I took my liscense out of my pocket and asked for Heineken instead.
"Sorry guy can't serve you anything"
"What? I'm 23 years old, heres my liscense."
"I'm sure you are, kid. But I can't serve you anymore because I saw you take money from that youngin'.
"No you didn't, I'm not that stupid. You were literally 15 feet away from us, do you really think I'm that retarted?"
"Well regardless of what I think you are, this whole area has been notified and will not serve you beer. And since you are wearing a white shirt with just a Budweiser logo on it, you are pretty easy to spot. I suggest you go enjoy the show before that cop catches wind of this."
Totally bogus. I walked to the other side of the entire venue, got two Budweisers, and walked right back to the spot I was black-listed in before taking a sip. Those were 2 of the most delicious beers I have ever had, and I made sure everyone around me knew it.
After being on the receiving end of the stink-eye from the beer vendors for about 10 minutes while I drank my beers, I went onto the lawn. Almost immediately I regretted that decision, because I had to pee, hard. I have a hard time finding words to describe my level of intoxication at this time, but I was drunk enough to pee against the back wall in the bushes on the lawn, so use your imagination. I peed for what seemed like 3 hours, only to zip up, turn around and see a cop looking right at me with his arms crossed, blocking the only exit from the shrubs.
I was going to get arrested.
He got out of the way and reached for his zip ties so I could get out, and as soon as I saw his hands behind his back, I booked it. I ran into the crowd and didn't look back. Eventually I bumped into some broad and we both fell over. It was my girlfriends best friend! In a ridiculous twist of fate, I was rejoined with my friends! I enjoyed the next few songs with them, and then it happened.
Some kid squirted me in the face with a squirt gun. How was I supposed to know whether or not it was filled with nice refreshing water, or instead with liquified vomit feces? I was enraged. I grabbed the squirt gun from the kid, squirted him in the face, and threw it as far as I could into the stadium seats (I hope noone got hurt). Appearantly, he wasn't travelling alone, because someone he must have been with saw this happen and pushed me to the ground. That's no big deal, a strong breeze would have knocked me over at that point. I'm not the biggest kid of all time, nor do I like to fight, but my girlfriend was bitching at me for throwing the squirt gun, and then she was upset because I was gonna get my ass kicked. Her constant bitching + my level of intoxication = much sympathy gathered from the surrounding concert-goers. Ricky, Mother Fucking Ricky, starts chanting my name, cheering me on to get revenge. A couple other people who had seen this whole situation go down join Ricky in chanting my name. I shit you not, within 5 minutes I had half the fucking section chanting my name. It was so awesome, I let it all soak in for a minute before I showed everyone how much of a pussy I am.
The kids ended up just walking away, thank god. I enjoyed the rest of the show in peace.
Heres the set list:
Revival
Every Hungry Woman
You Don't Love Me
Who's Been Talking?
No One Left To Run With
Desdemona w/ Chuck Leavell
Woman Across the River
Soulshine
Egypt
Melissa
Dreams w/ Chuck Leavell
Leave My Blues at Home
>Drums
Jessica w/ Chuck Leavell!
Encore: Southbound w/ Chuck Leavell
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Pretty kickass if you ask me. Anyway, the concert ended and people walked back to their cars. Except me. I walked around drinking with random people. Eventually I stopped at a pretty happenin little spot and was offered a beer.. by a co-worker of mine! We sat in the lot after the show for about another 45 minutes before we were told to leave.
I'll cut this story off here, becase this was only the start of my bender. Here is what happened though:
We ended up going to foxwoods.
I'm lactose intolerant, my co-worker didn't know that.
The bathroom lines at Foxwoods are long late on Saturday nights.
I shit my pants while in line for the bathroom, and had to buy a new pair for like $60
Instead of throwing my shitpants away, I decided to carry them around with me.
I lost $400 at Foxwoods
Then I got home.
Some random hoe was walking out of my apartment as I got in. She didn't say 'Hello'.
My roommate was being verbally berated by his girlfriend. I didn't put two and two together until an hour later.
The girlfriend trashed my roommate's room, and part of the living room
Once she calmed down a little bit (45 minutes later) she puked EVERYWHERE. On the TV, on the couch, everywhere.
I had nothing to do with this, so I left.
It was about 5:45AM by this point, and I could only think of one place to go.
I knocked on the door and told Ricky about my night after we got separated. He yelled at his girlfriend to go back to bed. We sat up drinking and storytelling until 10:00AM, just like 24 hours prior.
User Reviews
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-24 11:01:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow. Thanks for making this my best ever, everyone.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-24 10:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Mister (user info) at 2005-08-24 08:10:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn.
Sounds like fun, except the drunk part.
Unless you like that, the fun all around!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-24 07:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now this is a good drunk story. It's got the shit, it's got random stuff happening around the poor son of a bitch and it's got pathos. No arrogant bullshit, just the self destruction of a simple young man.
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-08-24 00:52:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well when I say yes I mean no and when I say Marvin I mean Martyn but other than that you're banmg on.
In actuall fact I was born in England and arrived here a year ago. I'm still constantly amazed that so many of you guys (ok so I'm about to make a mass generalisation) have no awareness whatsoever that there is a whole world out there that has no concern with your little (and when I say little I mean fairly large) corner of the globe.
So what kinda shit does these guys play anyway? How many of them are still alive and kicking?
And are they even brothers?
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-08-24 00:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-08-23 22:09:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:17:20 (#)
Ranking: 1
I've no Idea who the Allman brothers are but it sounds like you had a good weekend.
____________________________________________________
mbstateside was born on Pluto and just arrived an hour ago. . .
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Yeah me and Marvin are cousins. He says hi by the way.
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-08-23 22:14:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The best weekend of my summer involved that very show!
I was going to do a post about it, but it would seem really tame in comparison to this one.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-08-23 22:11:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Peach story about Duane is a fact. The only player who ever even came
close on slide guitar is Johnny Winter.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-08-23 22:09:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:17:20 (#)
Ranking: 1
I've no Idea who the Allman brothers are but it sounds like you had a good weekend.
____________________________________________________
mbstateside was born on Pluto and just arrived an hour ago. . .
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-08-23 21:45:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh! Awesome.
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-23 19:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anti-Manifesto (user info) at 2005-08-23 19:32:11 (#)
Ranking: 1
awsome story...
love reading about drunkin' adventures... hmmmmmm
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Created an account and this was the first post you decided to rate? Sweet.
Submitted by Anti-Manifesto (user info) at 2005-08-23 19:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
awsome story...
love reading about drunkin' adventures... hmmmmmm
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-23 19:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Duane plays better guitar dead than everything you will ever hear as far as rock music is concerned.
That doesn't make sense, but somehow its true.
'Lord I just cant get out the door!'
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-08-23 19:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'cause there's a man down there
just might be yo' man
I don't know
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-08-23 19:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh, "he plays pretty good for a dead guy!"
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-23 19:05:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
erm.. not *RECORDED* after he died, as he played on all the tracks. But maybe released under that name, 'Eat a Peach' after the fact.
It might just be an odd coicidence too, though.
Also, a year later (almost to the DAY) Barry Oakley (bass) died by crashing into a peach truck.
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-23 18:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by spamtrap50 (user info) at 2005-08-23 18:48:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Great story, and I feel like a 'tard for asking, but why are peaches so popular?
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Thanks, and as for the Peaches:
Duane Allman (GOD) died in a motorcycle accident as he crashed into a peach truck. The Allmans also have an album 'Eat a Peach', which I believe was recorded after Duane died and was meant as a tribute? Not exactly sure about that, but the album is definately their best studio recording.
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-23 18:50:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-08-23 18:35:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
I passed on going to see them this year for a couple of reasons
I dont do outside concerts anymore
The Allman Bros minus Dickie bums me out.
The Allman Bros have delivered some of the best concerts i have ever been to. 3 hour shows were common for the boys.
==
Dickie was indeed awesome (inbetween his sessions of wife-beating), hes still playing somewhere, I forget the name of the band hes in now, though. It sucks not having all those songs to hear, but Derek Trucks + Warren Haynes is a better combo, in my opinion. I miss the older shows (I say older, but I really mean '98 and '99), though.
Submitted by spamtrap50 (user info) at 2005-08-23 18:48:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great story, and I feel like a 'tard for asking, but why are peaches so popular?
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-08-23 18:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I passed on going to see them this year for a couple of reasons
I dont do outside concerts anymore
The Allman Bros minus Dickie bums me out.
The Allman Bros have delivered some of the best concerts i have ever been to. 3 hour shows were common for the boys.
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-23 18:13:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:46:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Pussy.
==
"You wanna fight? Why don't you stick your head up your butt and fight for air? heh heh" - Joe Dirt
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pussy.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:38:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
attleboro
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:37:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:25:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome. Allman Bros concert is like nothing else. I've been to several and always have a great time.
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Most Definately. They change it up all the time, I have always left their shows entertained.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:29:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:17:20 (#)
Ranking: 1
I've no Idea who the Allman brothers are but it sounds like you had a good weekend.
_____________________________
: - ()
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Indeed man, indeed. This must doubly piss you off after you just made a comment about them and Panic!
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:31:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
That peach idea is awesome.
They didn't play Blue Sky? I love that song.
God bless 12 minute guitar solos.
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Nah, They can't play alot of their older stuff. Alot of it was thanks to Dicky Betts, who is no longer with the Bros. But the classics that they do play are always welcomed.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:35:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who the fuck are the allman brothers?
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That peach idea is awesome.
They didn't play Blue Sky? I love that song.
God bless 12 minute guitar solos.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:29:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:17:20 (#)
Ranking: 1
I've no Idea who the Allman brothers are but it sounds like you had a good weekend.
_____________________________
: - ()
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome. Allman Bros concert is like nothing else. I've been to several and always have a great time.
Submitted by alex.lifeson (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I saw them a few days ago in Toronto...very different setlist. And Haynes was missing, which sucked.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:23:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Numlock - I'd say a good 6-7 hours but well worth it.
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:17:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've no Idea who the Allman brothers are but it sounds like you had a good weekend.
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:11:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:09:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, the show I am seeing is The Allmans and Skynyrd...I know I know...at one fucking time....w00t!
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Oh man.. There have been rumors about an Allmans/Skynyrd show for like 3 years that would hit Massachusetts, but I haven't seen it yet. How far is a drive to That venue in PA from Boston?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:09:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, the show I am seeing is The Allmans and Skynyrd...I know I know...at one fucking time....w00t!
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-23 17:00:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:57:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Here...have another.
I love the Allman Brothers.
===
Hell yea, they are my favorite band. Unless Skynyrd comes around, The Allmans is the only concert I really go to anymore.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:57:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here...have another.
I love the Allman Brothers.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ALLMAN BROTHERS ROCK THE FUCKING HOUSE
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:42:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:25:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just for carrying your "shitpants" around after you'd befouled them. 'Shitpants' simply isn't used enough in this crazy word of ours. At least as a noun, anyway.
Now as a nickname...
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Yea, The co-worker I was with is responsible for the rest of the sales floor at my workplace calling me that. Your minds think alike, it seems.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:39:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:25:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just for carrying your "shitpants" around after you'd befouled them. 'Shitpants' simply isn't used enough in this crazy word of ours. At least as a noun, anyway.
Now as a nickname...
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Hahahaha!
Congratulations on not getting arrested.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:36:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FREEEEEEBIIIIRD!
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:33:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I grew up in Weymouth, moved to Milford in when I was a Freshman in High School. You?
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:28:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh. oops.
i did go to wpi, you did go to wsc.
i have attended 4 allman brothers concerts at great woods. what town are you from?
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:26:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-08-23 15:57:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like a blast. I'm jealous. I got to see them in concert once and had a lot of fun at it. They put on a really good show.
I would have done something nasty to that little 12 year old. Dude, she fucked up your beer access!
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If I ever see her again, I'll be sure to donkey punch her, just for you.
MyNameIsTim: Yea.. Mansfield. I refuse to call it the Tweeder Center. The place sucks compared to when it was Great Woods. And I think we've had this conversation before on one of my other posts. You went to WPI(?) and I went to WSC.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just for carrying your "shitpants" around after you'd befouled them. 'Shitpants' simply isn't used enough in this crazy word of ours. At least as a noun, anyway.
Now as a nickname...
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a) nice stories of binge drinking.
b) great woods, as in mansfield, ma?
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:22:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn you Bob! I noticed that right after I posted..
The Concert was on the 20th, and the other date should be Sunday the 21st.
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HillBoyJr: Warren rejoined the tour the night before the Great Woods show. Warren is awesome, don't get me wrong, and it was awesome to see him again.. but Jack Pearson was to be his substitute.. and Pearson is also ridiculous. I believe he played with the Bros from '97-'99. I heard that when Warren first came back, all 3 of them played! (Trucks, Haynes, and Pearson) That would have been a sight to see.
Xcuses- Yea, they used to play 2-3 shows a year here in Mass in 1998-1999, when I first started going to see them. Plus I've gone up to VT and NH a couple times as well.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:17:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"How The Allman Brothers Can Destroy Your Weekend" more like "How being a drunken fool can Destroy your weekend."
Join a support group.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe noone noticed this yet:
"The following is the events of Saturday the 20th - Monday the 21st"
Methinks one of those dates is wrong...
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You've seen them 14 times???
Wow, that's some dedication. I've only done that once...
Go New Edition!!!!
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:05:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got sick of the Allman Bros about 20 yrs ago, but sounds like a good time. It just irritates the shit out of me how people latch on to them and go around talking about Widespread Panic like they're a new band. Hello?
Submitted by HillBoyJr (user info) at 2005-08-23 16:04:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
going to see them myself in a few weeks. was Warrnen playing? i heard he got hurt and was sitting a few out and i'd really like to see him.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-08-23 15:57:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like a blast. I'm jealous. I got to see them in concert once and had a lot of fun at it. They put on a really good show.
I would have done something nasty to that little 12 year old. Dude, she fucked up your beer access!
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-08-23 15:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
stop n shop?
i didn't think those were still around!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-23 15:48:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll be seeing them September 13th at the York County Fair...York, PA.