Mind Fingers. (1210 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 2 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Saxon (View user info) at 2005-08-24 22:00:53 EDT
It is not imperative you read the first instalment but it might help to understand the story so far.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73036
Fred Doherty had been working at the hospital for nearly six months now since his release from prison. He was employed as a janitor as part of a prison release scheme and was employed under strict proviso's, those being, he was to be supervised at all times and only to work the male adult section and only, during the day. Fred had a history of petty theft and rape but unbeknown to authorities, he had a penchant for young girls.
He had seen the little downs syndrome girl come to his section nearly every day since her grandfather was admitted. His erections grew each time he gazed at the soft bulge of her teen-age breasts and particularly liked the large buttocks most downs syndrome kids seemed to have. He toyed with the idea of approaching her, figuring she would be an easy target and masturbated frequently imagining stripping her naked and raping her virgin pussy.
Priscilla sat on a hospital chair beside her grandfathers bed, his eyes where closed and his breathing was shallow and somewhat laboured. She knew he was sick as she had felt the ugliness in his head, and of late she felt it getting stronger. Her parents where somewhere outside talking to the doctor and she wished her grandfather would wake up and take her fishing by the lake.
She gazed upon his face and remembered his voice with fondness; besides her father he was the greatest man she ever knew. Priscilla had used her mind fingers on others but never her family. She always felt it was wrong to touch her family that way for some reason, but she wanted to touch her grandfather to somehow be close to him.
Concentrating she let her mind fingers touch her grandfather and felt the ugliness that invaded his body immediately. It was easy to find the source as her mind fingers softly explored the old mans brain. The tips of her fingers burned as they moved across the tumour and she quickly found its shape but her closeness to it made her nauseous.
Closing her eyes, she felt her finger nail slip under the edge of the ugliness and lift it like a scab on a healing wound. Exerting a little more pressure she felt it lift some more tearing away from the brain tissue. Priscilla wasn't too sure if she should be doing this but she felt like she may be able to pull it completely from the brain of her grandfather.
Pulling gently, the tumour tore away from the brain tissue it adhered to and little by little Priscilla felt it come off under her touch. Tears ran from her eyes and she scolded herself for not having the intelligence to know if what she was doing was a good thing or not but it was too late now the tumour was almost completely free from her grandfathers brain, so she kept the pressure up hoping her grandfather couldn't feel any pain.
She felt the tumours last tentacles tear from the brain it was growing on and before removing her mind fingers from her grandfather's head she whispered, "I love you".
As soon as her mind fingers left her grandfather she felt a throbbing pain in the tip of her index finger and realised the tumour did come free but was now inside her finger.
Leaning forward she kissed her grandfathers forehead and started singing a jingle they both liked.
The following morning Priscilla was woken by the phone ringing downstairs, she listened to her mothers voice and the throbbing in her finger reminded her of yesterdays events, She lifted her hand in front of her face and looked at the finger that now throbbed with a dull pain as her mother entered her room telling her to get up and get changed as the doctor wanted them to come into the hospital as soon as they could.
They met the doctor in the foyer and he ushered them into his office seemingly a little excited and Priscilla sat and listened as the doctor explained to her parents of a truly remarkable occurrence. He told them how they found the old man awake and alert this morning. While he was still a little weak, his demeanour was one of a well and fit man, not of one on deaths door. The doctor went on to say they immediately ran some tests and ran a cat scan and no evidence of the tumour could be found.
The family sat and listened in awe as he explained they ran the tests again to be sure and he is convinced that the old mans tumour is gone. The doctor explained he had never seen such a quick response to the treatment but was satisfied they had made remarkable progress in the few short weeks of his admission. He went on further, that they would like to keep him in for another few days for observation but he assured them he was confidant of a full recovery.
Priscilla's mother wept openly as they stood to go see the old man and she watched her parents embrace, moving toward them she threw her arms around both of them as tears of joy ran down her cheeks. Moving from the office Priscilla told her parents she had to use the toilet and would meet them in her grandfather's room shortly and walked off smiling, turning back to see her parents disappear into the hospital room she knew her grandfather was.
The janitor Fred Doherty saw the little girl enter the toilets and slipped into the storeroom beside the female amenities. Leaving the toilets, Priscilla noticed the door to what she suspected was a storeroom, stood ajar slightly. She had never seen this door open and was slightly curious as to what lay inside. Her curiosity made her look in the open door as she passed. She saw a figure move toward her quickly and arms grab her, covering her mouth, pulling her into the little room.
She was held from behind and the rough voice of a man exclaimed, "Don't scream my little pretty and you wont get hurt". She felt something wet touch her neck as a hand went to her groin squeezing her vagina. The weight of the man pushed her onto the floor and his hands pushed her sundress up over her hips and were scrambling for her panties as she turned to try to fight him off.
Her underwear was pulled down quickly and the man forced his way between her thighs, parting her legs. Priscilla felt her head hit the floor sharply as the man pushed her back while kneeling between her open legs. The man grunted as he looked at the dark V of her pubic hair, slightly parted by the slit of her pussy.
Fred Doherty jumped to his feet undoing his belt and fly to push his trousers to his ankles revealing his erection. He was about to move forward to claim his prize by raping the young girl when he felt a sharp pain sear through his brain. His body froze as his limbs locked rigid. His face was one of questioning surprise as he tried to move his arms and legs but nothing responded. His mouth opened and shut, mouthing words but no sound came out.
He stood frozen in motion, his erection protruding from his hips. He watched the little girl get to her feet pulling her underwear up, smoothing her dress over her hips. He looked into her eyes and saw a malevolence he had never seen before. The little girls face was expressionless but her eyes burnt with anger and purpose.
Priscilla's finger throbbed as she felt it move over the slippery bumpy surface of Fred Doherty's brain. Her finger stopped in an indentation on the surface and concentrating hard she made the tumour leave her finger and felt it suck onto the brain like a leach, as she stood looking into the eyes of the tall skinny, balding man who's limbs she now controlled.
Fred's mouth opened wide in a silent scream as he felt a sickening ugliness become part of his brain. His head now throbbed painfully and his body shook uncontrollably. He saw a smile shape upon the girl's lips as she stood in front of him, looking directly into his face.
He felt his left arm move toward a shelf that he stood near and his fingers grasped a small plastic package. His arm moved the package in front of his body as his right hand went to the package and tore it open. He watched his right hand remove a shiny new scalpel from the package as his left hand dropped the ripped satchel on the floor.
His eyes followed his left hand as it moved and grasped his erection, holding it, as his right hand moved the scalpel close to the base of his penis. Fred Doherty tried to scream when the comprehension of what his hands where doing became obvious. His mouth was open wide in a horrified scream with no sound escaping as the sharp blade of the scalpel touched the stretched skin at the base of his erection.
The skin slit easily into a thin red cut and blood welled and dripped from it immediately. His left hand stretched his penis away from his body and the thin red line ran around the circumference of his cock. Fred started screaming manically but no sound escaped his lips as his right hand moved in a sawing motion as the scalpel easily cut through the blood engorged flesh of his erection.
Fred Doherty stood frozen, His severed cock in his left hand and the blood covered scalpel in his right. Blood gushed in a rhythmic pump from the meaty stump that remained of his genitals as his mouth opened and shut in a mumbling motion. His left hand opened and his now soft and flaccid penis hit the floor with a dull flop spattering blood around it in a pattern.
Priscilla watched his eyes close and his body slump to the floor as she let her mind fingers slip from the janitor's head. She stepped over the still body watching the spurt of blood from his groin grow less intense. She peered out the door and seeing the hall empty she slipped out shutting the door behind her.
She entered her grandfather's hospital room and nearly jumped on top of him as she ran to his bed to hug him. He kissed her face as he said, "There's my special girl". Priscilla's parents proudly looked on and her mother thought she saw blood on Priscilla's pretty white shoes.
User Reviews
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2005-08-31 21:21:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why are you here? Why aren't you sitting in some cabin writing a novel?
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-08-31 19:10:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It just gets better.
Submitted by Sockster (user info) at 2005-08-30 01:50:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep writing.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-08-25 21:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brand new Shlongy!
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-08-25 15:25:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well I've just lost my appetite.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-25 13:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-08-25 12:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent work!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-08-25 11:17:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very cool
Submitted by Spice (user info) at 2005-08-25 10:51:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Absolutely amazing... you know my history ... if only ... if only
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-08-25 10:00:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Arg, I didn't want to give this a +2, but the ending kinda got me. I love my penis and would hate to see it get cut off, you see.
Anyway, Berty was right about her seeming more human in the first one, but that's not my problem. There were just a lot of grammar/language mistakes and it was pretty predictable. Sometimes you over-describe or over-explain things. For example: "He was about to move forward to claim his prize by raping the young girl." It's VERY obvious that he's going to rape her. You don't need to actually say it, we can figure that out by "He was about to move forward to claim his prize." Sometimes being direct can deflate the moment. But not always. When you were describing the unfortunate incident of the penis-cutting, you were very direct and obvious but that was the perfect time to do it, in my opinion.
It's interesting how her mind fingers aren't physical, but somehow the tumor gets transferred to them. I actually expected the grandfather to die of a brain hemmorage; I think that would have added an interesting element of guilt to her character.
Wow, big review by me. I feel chatty today.
Good work Saxon. This is a great character and a good story.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-25 09:43:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this as 'Midget Fingers' so +2 for not being about Urbane.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-08-25 09:34:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
double yew tee eff man. Not really, I understand it but, fucking hell that was just....that was pretty fucked up, but in a good way.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-08-25 05:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dude, im eating.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-08-25 05:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-24 23:30:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hot stuff Saxon ole boy...damn fine.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seconded. Although I did prefer the first one. She just seemed a bit more human you know? That's just personal preference though, this was fucking awesome.
Submitted by Chazzy (user info) at 2005-08-25 05:01:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-08-25 04:35:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
brilliant! now if only that would happen to all rapists..
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-08-25 04:54:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking hell Saxon. I'm all curled up in the foetal position, hands covering my groin after reading that graphic description, but I just had to +2 this.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-08-25 04:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-08-24 22:25:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin Aye more more more
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-08-25 04:35:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
brilliant! now if only that would happen to all rapists..
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-08-25 04:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
blimey
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-08-25 01:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sax, you're on fire!
Great reading, again
and again and.......
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-08-25 01:03:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SO Awesome.
I'm not a fan of gore, but I LOVED this! Yeah Priscilla! Avenger of helpless girls/children everywhere!
You rock, Saxon.
Submitted by Lmarie22000 (user info) at 2005-08-24 23:51:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-24 23:30:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hot stuff Saxon ole boy...damn fine.
Submitted by silent1 (user info) at 2005-08-24 23:24:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was great! More please!
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-08-24 22:31:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It must be good, theres lots of words and paragraphs and stuff
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-08-24 22:25:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin Aye more more more
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-08-24 22:21:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
creepy goodness