Two Uberers Diverged in an Asphalt Parking Lot... (739 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.33 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by yewslus (View user info) at 2005-08-25 12:49:43 EDT
On Wednesday night I went to the System of a Down concert at Continental Airlines Arena. Yeah, the show was great, yada yada, and ok, cool. I will first go off on a small tangent to tell you that I hate the way corporate America has taken over the names of our favorite venues. The Garden State Arts Center was much better than the PNC Bank Arts Center. I know that many of you share in the same pain, having to deal with such landmarks as Qualcomm Field and the Staples Center or the Tampax Dome to make you think of cell phones and paper shredders and messy stuff. But this is not my point. Back towards it...
If any of you have been to the Meadowlands in East Rutherford, NJ, you already know that the parking lot at that venue is a veritable Stonehenge of tailgating. Our fathers' fathers' fathers were smoking joints and grilling brats centuries ago. Yes, centuries. You can smell the remnants of all the starter fluid that has been used between the white stripes designating parking spaces. At any given event, be it a Jets, Giants, Devils, or Nets game, or, in my case, a music concert, there is reason to tailgate.
First of these reasons is: it's simply easier on the wallet. Unless you take some sadistic joy paying $7.50 inside the arena for a 20-ounce beer, you're better off getting a six-pack for the same (or less) price, and going into the show with a decent buzz.
Second, it has now become next to impossible to smoke pot inside the arena. Not only with 'Event Security' guys waving their flashlights into your bloodshot eyes, but PLAIN-CLOTHES security wandering the area as well. Not worth the trouble; therefore it is much easier to blaze next to your car, where everyone else does it. The parking lot security van will rarely fuck with you, probably because they too are high.
But I'm getting away from my point.
In this lawless territory known as Parking Section B-24, the four of us parked and began the ritualistic lighting of the coals, and the cooler came out of the back. It was while I was smoking a joint on said tailgate that I dared to wonder:
At this very moment, in this parking lot teeming with thousands of people, how many knew about this place I call Ubersite? How many were members? How many were lurkers, or had at least read a post, whether here or via B@W? It dawned on me that there was no way to tell. For all I knew, MickGinny was shooting up two trucks over, and Krissi was giving head to some dude from Massachusetts in the next row. Perhaps youaresoghey was handing out those fliers near the ramp approaching the arena, screaming about the need to eradicate the Bush Regime.
But, alas, I had no way to tell. I have had this same question pop into my head at various events I have been to; bars, clubs, the Shore, etc.
I guess what I'm wondering here is, how could you possibly let on to someone that you are brothers-in-Uber, aside from screaming out "WHY HALLO THAR BUTTSECKS!" or "-2, DIE"?
This conundrum plagues my dreams. Please help.
User Reviews
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-08-25 21:21:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-08-25 18:32:22 (#)
Ranking: 1
Thats a huge bitch!!
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Every time I read that, I hear it in my head the way they say it in Deuce Bigalow. I don't know if that's your intention, but thank you anyway.
Useless, I've wondered that too, from time to time...then I remember I live in Canada and there are only about a dozen of us on here or something.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-08-25 19:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like mine well done thanks!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-25 19:26:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-25 14:20:31 (#)
Ranking: 1
I wonder that sometimes. I went to Ozzfest in Indy this year, and I had the same thought. With 40,000 people there, chances are, there could be at least 1 uberer besides me.
Next time you go to an event, just wear a T-shirt that says "My Name is Bart Cilfone." in big bold letters. If someone comes up to you and says "no you're not"....then you know they are from uber and you should probably kill them on the spot.
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I've also wondered the same thing.
I've also seen SOAD. Twice. They're awesome in concert!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-25 19:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
wear a button that says -2DIE
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-08-25 19:13:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hadn't thought of that before, but looking back at the mass of concerts I've been to and knowing how many detroit Ubers there are, I've probably not been the only one in the sea of humanity spread out before me.
Same goes for cleveland.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-08-25 18:32:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Thats a huge bitch!!
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-08-25 15:58:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-08-25 14:11:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
we should have a codeword or something. like a club handshake.
ooh! and decoder rings! and we can build a fort and there won't be any girls allowed cause they've got cooties!
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Sassy... I think I love you.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-08-25 14:34:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-08-25 14:27:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ETS, that's a good idea!
In fact, that's the first good idea I've heard outta' you!
Bravo!
Stay tuned for a followup post.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-25 14:20:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I wonder that sometimes. I went to Ozzfest in Indy this year, and I had the same thought. With 40,000 people there, chances are, there could be at least 1 uberer besides me.
Next time you go to an event, just wear a T-shirt that says "My Name is Bart Cilfone." in big bold letters. If someone comes up to you and says "no you're not"....then you know they are from uber and you should probably kill them on the spot.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-08-25 14:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
we should have a codeword or something. like a club handshake.
ooh! and decoder rings! and we can build a fort and there won't be any girls allowed cause they've got cooties!
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2005-08-25 13:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
that chick's gotta sweet rack.
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-08-25 13:57:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe I could just yell
SHLONGYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
at the top of my lungs.
Nevermind, that's rather ghey. Did anyone stop and think that with a username like Shlongy, he has a phallic fixation? Maybe some penis envy? Hmmm?
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-08-25 13:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-25 13:02:29 (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, the Masons usually say "Are there any good men here?" to signal their presence to other Masons. Uber people could say "HAHA Rabbit!" or "Hey did you check out Urbane's vag?"
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If some bloke came up to me and said that, my response would go something along the lines of;
"I'm flattered, but not interested."
"Do they call you Rectotron?"
"Why don't you ask that guy over there, he looks a bit queer."
"Caulaincourt will blow you."
"Don't let the dresses fool you, we're all men here."
"I think you're in the wrong establishment, bumtoucher."
"I'm sorry, but what evolutionary era did you say you were from again?"
"If I'd had a bit more to drink I could be persuaded."
"Probably"
"What's a typical response to that question 'cause I'm fresh out of ideas."
"*ejaculates*"
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-08-25 13:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
T-shirts? A hand signal?
+2 system of a down
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-08-25 13:34:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow. that's a very good question.
makes me wonder.
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-08-25 13:13:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, Cookie.
Once, I went to a local area bar to watch a Jets playoff game.
I bellied up to the bar and ordered a shot of Black Label.
I didn't realize it until a week afterwards, but MyNameIsTim was parked in the chair next to me.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-08-25 13:04:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have often wondered the same. +2 for thinking like me. That always makes my life easier.
At first I couldn't figure out how exactly this post had such a low rating. It wasn't crappy or anything, so what was the deal? Then I saw. Mostly-naked Obese nasty. And then I remembered that the Uber community can't look at that and see why it's funny. They can only manage getting pissed off because someone dared point a female at them that's less than a perfect 10.
I feel for you.
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-25 13:04:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-25 13:02:29 (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, the Masons usually say "Are there any good men here?" to signal their presence to other Masons. Uber people could say "HAHA Rabbit!" or "Hey did you check out Urbane's vag?"
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hahahah
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-25 13:02:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, the Masons usually say "Are there any good men here?" to signal their presence to other Masons. Uber people could say "HAHA Rabbit!" or "Hey did you check out Urbane's vag?"
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-08-25 12:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73899
Brand New WhatTheHell!!
PS; Mom??
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-08-25 12:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That picture made me vomit my three cups of coffee back up... thank you
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-08-25 12:56:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Meadowlands is sweet. Corporate venues suck, Great Woods will NEVER be 'Tweeder Center'.
Thats a huuuuuuuge bitch.
If you like tailgating in parking lots before a show, you might enjoy this.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73782
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-08-25 12:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't read it after I saw the pic, sorry but that grosses me out more than goatse and lemonparty
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-08-25 12:55:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-08-25 12:54:48 (#)
Ranking: -2
Stopped reading after I saw System of a Down.
===============
From the master of quality posting even...
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-08-25 12:54:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Stopped reading after I saw System of a Down.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-08-25 12:54:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Über is an institution.
Nobody will ever admit that they go here.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-08-25 12:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dont' do drugs.