I think I hate my roommate. (2371 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: -1.17 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jarvis (View user info) at 2005-08-29 01:34:01 EDT
So I started college a few weeks ago at Auburn University. First off, I really wished I hadn't decided to continue my education in the south but there's some pretty good weed down here so I'll just have to put up with all the moron republicans. Back to the story... I'm living in the dorms and my roommate is from Texas. I knew he was Texas before school started so I was worried but after the first week he seemed like a decent guy. I was wrong. He thinks that because I smoke pot that I'm addicted and that automatically I'm a crackhead. Now I'm starting to hate him so I've come up with a plan incase he ever really pisses me off.
I'd wake up early on a Saturday that I know he'll be out really late that night and all day eat as much mexican food and chili as I could and then let it just fermint in my gut until I felt terrible. I would then climb in to my roommates bed and get under the covers and fart until I feel that I've created atleast a somewhat serious biohazard in his bed. I'd slip out of the covers so that all the farts stay under the covers. He'll come back that night drunk from one of his frat parties and crawl under the covers and BAM and massive dutch oven engulfs him.
User Reviews
Submitted by mestupsh0w0ff (user info) at 2005-09-15 18:54:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking stupid.
Submitted by Darth_Adwain (user info) at 2005-08-29 15:42:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are a stupid fuck
Submitted by Grownasskid (user info) at 2005-08-29 15:37:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
i think you're roommate hates you
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-08-29 14:13:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope you're one of the handful of freshman suicides most universities get.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-08-29 14:11:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Kill yourself.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-08-29 14:07:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wow. imagine if you applied this much ingenuity to your studies!
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-08-29 13:51:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh. that is just dirty. where did you ever get that idea?
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-08-29 10:51:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You should absquatulate
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-08-29 09:31:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Horseshit. Hook 'em Horns.
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-08-29 09:23:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-29 09:09:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
GO DAWGS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blasphemy!!!
Go Tech!!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-08-29 09:09:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GO DAWGS
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-08-29 08:49:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Skate that shit off!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-08-29 04:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61506
the most disturbing thing you have ever seen.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-08-29 03:01:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Uninspired writing and topic.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-08-29 03:01:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My roomate is sitting here at 3 in the morning playing Xbox. I'ms tond. He doesn't care, We're all good.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-29 01:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
If not, and Jarvis is a common American nickname or something, ignore me.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-29 01:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
If this is you again, you deserved to be banned for that long. That was fucking horrible that picture.
Submitted by twentyseventy (user info) at 2005-08-29 01:50:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
well, i can't say much
my first post blew too
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-08-29 01:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow...FPM? (first post monday)
Welcome to Uber!
-2DIE
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-08-29 01:38:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do your parents know you're up this late?