A Slight Miscalculation (511 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 1 on 2 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Parlor Trick (View user info) at 2005-08-30 05:37:14 EDT
This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.
I handed the $1.20 through the clouded sliding glass window and took in trade a single dip ice cream cone from a blue-sleeved arm that extended back. I had barely tasted the cool cream, when the scoop of chocolate pecan rocked over the edge and fell to the concrete sidewalk below.
My good thing turned bad and I was left holding an empty cone. Despite my experience with this particular activity, I still had pushed things too far. I stood there defiantly, gesturing at the ground and looking back for the blue arm, no longer there. Our business was done.
I was baffled. Many an ice cream cone had safely achieved the objective of full consumption without suffering the fate of this particular scoop of chocolate pecan. This should not have happened. All available intelligence suggested that things should've gone smoothly.
I stood there to the side of the small gathering of people still waiting in line and looking in my direction. They were smiling compassionately at my bleeding treat and me the one who failed it. Each one of them thinking "Amateur."
"Mind your own business. " I radiated unsuccessfully. "Carry on, nothing to see. It was just a simple mistake, an unfortunate overcorrection as a result of some fluky atmospheric anomaly."
There did seem to be a high-pressure cell in the area. But regardless, I couldn't help but think that had the blue arm mentioned the ice cream was particularly hard perhaps this whole ordeal could've been averted. But the blue arm didn't speak and bad information was allowed to frolic about knocking people and their ice cream off course.
I used the small white napkin to pick up the cold remains of my error. "Everyone makes mistakes, they happen all the time." I consoled myself, "It's just that sometimes the results get splattered on your shoe, right out there for everyone to see."
I dropped the napkin and the scoop in the nearby basket and was going to eat the cone, but resisted the urge to settle and tossed it in too. I accepted my loss, as I had accepted other losses, big and small, due to nothing other than simple fuck up. I knew his name was Kevin and why I said Brian I'll never know.
The greater the consequence the more difficult it is to forgive our imperfection. This was chocolate pecan after all and I was rather angry with myself, but recalled forgiving the loss of Kevin quite quickly.
I considered that had my now discarded scoop been a passenger jet, the million dollar government inquiry into the cause would simply have read "She forgot to carry the one and the plane went down with everyone. She's sorry." But fortunately, it wasn't a passenger jet.
I surveyed the remaining chocolate evidence on the sidewalk and declared I had suffered enough. I fished for another $1.20 in my pocket and stood at the back of the line.
Hindsight, the ever-vigilant teacher looking over my shoulder, eyed the situation and after careful calculation concluded; the next one should be vanilla.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-16 17:52:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-10-27 10:28:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Horray for the elite 8!
(I was secretly rooting for you from the beginning.)