My son the racist (2399 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.69 on 83 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by knucklesnelson (View user info) at 2005-08-31 22:26:19 EDT
Well yesterday was my sons first day back at school. As a treat i told the lad i would treat him to the finest resturant of his choosing. Him being 7, he pick Mcdonalds of course. Yep he was feeling pretty cocky just starting the second grade. "Daddy i'm a man now, I'm in the second grade. I think i can order for myself". I beemed with a pride most parents at one time or another get from their kids.
Well seeings as i had to work in a couple of hours i figured i would take him to the closest one. Bad choice, the closest Mcdonalds was in a seedier part of town. Oh well i thought, i grew up in the area its not all that bad. Plus it was noon what kind of problems could i run into at noon. But little did i know that the trouble i would find wouldnt be from a criminal, but from my son.
We strolled in, my son ready to order. He walks up to the register like hes the cock of the walk. At the register is an over-weight black woman, couldnt be no more than 20. On a side note this broad looked like she was in the last place she wanted to be, smacking her gum, rolling her eyes. My parental alarm should have went off there. But it didnt.
Well my son walks up. Black Chick: "Welcome to mcdonalds, how can i help you?" My son: "Yes, i would like a mighty kids chicken nigger meal with a rootbeer". Me: "Oh shit, he didnt just say what i think he did, did he?" Black Chick: "Wha? huh? Oh no you just didnt". Me: "Oh i am so sorry, the boy he wanted to order his own food, uh der uh der sorry". My son: "Daddy what did i do wrong?". Me: "Son you mis-spoke and used a word you shouldnt have". My son:"What word daddy?".
Now at this point I paused no knowing what to say. Then things went from bad to worse. Me: Well son you used the word nigger, and that is a racist name to call people of color". Black chick:"Wha? huh? Oh no you just didnt. Me:"I'm sorry, i was just trying to tell the boy, he's only 7." Black chick:"Sheeeeeeeeeet, he probally learned it from you, you racist bastard". By now a few people are watching, and there was no way i was going out like that.
Me:"Listen lady, i'm sorry my son made a mistake". Black chick: Uh-huh, yeah right. He had to learn it from somewhere, probally from his daddy you racist bastard." Nope i wasnt going out like that. Me:"Listen Laqaunda, Latifa, Latoya or whatever your name is Im trying to be polite. I appologized, this is no word we use around my house, let alone in front of children".
By this time a manager walks up, looking very concerned. Before i can say a word and he asks what the problem is black chick says "This bastard is a racist, his son called me a nigger". Me "whoa hold up there lady, my son mispoke he said nigger instead of nugget. I tried to apologize, was gonna have my son appologize. But Missy Misdemeanor Elliot here dont want to listen, she just wants to keep calling me a racist bastard. "Now i admit my son was wrong, but the attitude this chick was giving was not acceptable either".
Luckily the manager was white, so i had that going for me. Manager:"Well sir come down to this register and i will take your order". Well contrary to some of my remarks and posts on this forum i am not stupid. Knowing good and well anything we order now will surely get spit on, and rubbed between the ass cheeks by any and all of the black folks working in the kitchen i tell the man thanks but no thanks and turn around to leave.
Just as im getting ready to walk out a car pulls up to the drive thru window. Stereo blaring gangsta wrap by either the game, fitty cent, or whoever the fuck it was. All I could hear was "nigga this, nigga that". So i turn to the black chick very calmly and say "The next time you go running your soup coolers about where some white kid learned the word nigger listen to some of the music your fellow African americans are singing". And with that my son and i walked out (rather briskly as to avoid an ass whoopin from all the black folk we left behind).
Just a little story i thought i would share with my fellow uberites. Maybe it was funny, Maybe not. I'm just greatful me and my son made it out of the situation un-harmed. Me and the boy ended up going to Wendys, and needless to say i did the ordering for him.
For shizzle!
User Reviews
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-04-29 11:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2006-04-29 10:57:41 (#)
Ranking: -2
AWESOME WRITING!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2005-12-23 00:12:48 (#)
Ranking: -2
Quote:Me:"Listen Laqaunda, Latifa, Latoya or whatever your name...
___________________________
I guarantee you never said that
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-04-29 11:12:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude. Awesome.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2006-04-29 10:57:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AWESOME WRITING!
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2005-12-23 00:12:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Quote:Me:"Listen Laqaunda, Latifa, Latoya or whatever your name...
But Missy Misdemeanor Elliot here dont want to listen,
Luckily the manager was white, so i had that going for me
___________________________
like father like son.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-12-22 23:29:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The seedy part of ann arbor?
aaahhh, do you mean "ypsi"?
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-12-22 23:08:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kai, if im one of ubers best then this is a sad state of affairs.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-12-21 23:28:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a well-balanced, grade A post.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2005-12-21 23:06:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck, that's a tough situation.
When I was your son's age, my friend found Niger on a map and said "Look, Eric, it says nigger. Ahahahaha!" I didn't know what the hell he was talking about, but I went with it.
Later on my mother got really pissed at me when I started spouting "nigger nigger nigger" all day. I just thought it was a funny word, like "ragamuffin", or "douchebag" or "wet-back".
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-12-21 23:04:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are one of Uber's best.
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-12-07 19:22:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-12-07 18:54:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Kids say the darn-est things
Submitted by Mrs.Love (user info) at 2005-12-07 18:59:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was fucking hilarious.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-12-07 18:54:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kids say the darn-est things
Submitted by NewGuy08 (user info) at 2005-12-07 18:47:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
did you get the chicken mcnuggets, they are delicious
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2005-12-07 18:41:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love looking at the Uber of yore.
Submitted by podium (user info) at 2005-12-07 18:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Enjoyable.
Submitted by NewGuy08 (user info) at 2005-12-07 18:29:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dude, I can tell you're a stoner
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-12-02 14:55:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope that he ordered barbeque sauce to dunk his chicken niggers in.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-11-26 01:30:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wendys > mcdonalds.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-11-26 01:19:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm rooting for Michigan when they come down here for the Outback bowl....
I'm always for the Big Ten, even last year against Texas.
GO BIG TEN WOOO!!!
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-11-19 10:42:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GO BUCKS!!
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-10-21 21:35:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stupid niggers. Always getting offended when people tell them what they really are.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-10-21 21:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you going to start your second job at McNigger's soon?
Does the NAACP make you refer to it as McNegro's?
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-10-07 21:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for having kids...
and not bringing them to my house
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-10-05 10:05:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aren't kids fantabulous?!?!?
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-10-05 08:33:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-10-05 08:12:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Humm...I know I read this, but I never
rated it. Silly me!
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2005-09-03 04:16:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-02 18:30:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:12:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-09-01 23:00:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday (belated). Will you still be working for the VA?
Yep. In Tampa.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-09-02 02:55:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Rasta (user info) at 2005-09-01 01:11:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Pick any word that allows me to act completely irrational.
What is my word?
*********
AMEN!!!!!!!!
Submitted by mastershake (user info) at 2005-09-02 02:32:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-09-01 22:00:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
damn i always miss munkey! Is there no god?
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-09-01 21:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually beleive it or not i do like to throw the word nigger around. But not in front of the children.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-09-01 20:17:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude we ALL know exactly where he learned it from, don't even try to lie.
Funny post, that is a kodack moment for sure
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-09-01 20:09:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know this guy that was fired over a mistake like that.
His black coworker was in his face and they were arguing. His coworker
said "make me"
This guy came back with "I don't make monkeys, I train them" (he's a bit simple minded)
and the coworker took it as racist remark and complained. This guy was fired.
All he was doing was quoting Pee Wee Herman. He couldn't even defend himself
with that.
Submitted by psychabillyjean (user info) at 2005-09-01 19:59:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-09-01 07:44:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Lucky you didn't get a McCap in yo ass.
-----------------------------------------------------------
That's awesome.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-01 19:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG 666 HITS SPWAN OF THE RACIST SATAN
Submitted by starshine (user info) at 2005-09-01 17:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-09-01 17:03:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some people just don't understand an honest mistake.
I once heard a white woman and a black woman argueing about something irreleveant that both were obviosuly guilty of.
White Woman "now that's like the pot calling the kettle black"
Black Woman "you are such a racist bitch! I don't even want to talk to you anymore!"
WW "I wasn't being racist, it was merely an expression of speech!"
BW "Some white-ass, cracker-jack mother-fucker thinks that is an expression! All of you whities are the same, you're racist fucking pricks, you and all your white friends. Dumb white bitch!"
WW "Calm down, I was just saying that you are insulting me for something that you yourself are guilty of"
BW "quite changing the subject bitch! After years of oppression, we still have this kind of hatred towards us. No wonder the black man is always beat down and can't go anywhere in life. All you white folk refuse to let a nigger be equal with you... BLAH BLAH BLAH. "
If only people weren't so quick to jump to a racist conclusion.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-01 14:54:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2005-09-01 10:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-09-01 07:56:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ha.
For both the post and the reviews (particularly Sinna's just below this one).
-------------------------------------
Why thank you kind sir.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-09-01 10:15:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I'm a
Colored spade
A nigger
A black nigger
A jungle bunny
Jigaboo coon
Pickaninny mau mau
Uncle Tom
Aunt Jemima
Little Black Sambo
Cotton pickin'
Swamp guinea
Junk man
Shoeshine boy
Elevator operator
Table cleaner at Horn & Hardart
Slave voodoo
Zombie
Ubangi lipped
Flat nose
Tap dancin'
Resident of Harlem
And president of
The United States of Love
President of
The United States of Love
(and if you ask him to dinner you're going to feed him:)
Watermelon
Hominy grits
An' shortnin' bread
Alligator ribs
Some pig tails
Some black eyed peas
Some chili
Some collard greens
And if you don't watch out
This boogie man will get you
Booooooooo!"
From the musical--"HAIR"
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-09-01 10:15:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell yeah, give me some of those chicken wings!!!
Submitted by matchoo (user info) at 2005-09-01 10:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hah. this would have NEVER happened in South Africa. especially not in the 70's or 80's. we all love each other here.
Submitted by Karmajane (user info) at 2005-09-01 09:58:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Most kids are racists my nearly one year old hates black dolls and that certainly isn't something she learnt from me. She's just a born racist."
I agree.
I have a friend who has a beautiful daughter, Krissy; blonde curls, very chirpy, always polite and friendly whenever I see her. Nice kid. Anyway, when Krissy was 5 her mother took her to a picnic day for her father's work. During the day the kids were all paired up for a go cart race. Krissy was paired up with an aboriginal girl so she turns to her mum and says that she wants "a pink one".
Her mother is so far from being racist that it didn't occur to her that Krissy was referring to the girl; she thought Krissy wanted a pink go cart...
Another time she told her grandma that she didn't want to go to the doctor because he was black.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-09-01 09:32:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-09-01 09:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-09-01 08:45:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read the "Chicken nigger meal" bit just as I was eating some watermelon from my fruit salad.
Eating fruit salad at lunch does not make me gay.
It doesn't.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-09-01 07:56:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ha.
For both the post and the reviews (particularly Sinna's just below this one).
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2005-09-01 07:48:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd like a McNigger sandwich meal please.
Would you like to go Superfly for an extra 50p, sir?
Yeah, nigger.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-09-01 07:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lucky you didn't get a McCap in yo ass.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-09-01 07:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+ 1 for the story.
Another + 1 for some of the reviews.
"McNigger please." Aaahahahahahahaha !!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-09-01 05:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She should have been happy with the fact that he even acknowledged her at all. Next time, tell him that if a nigger tries to talk to him, just ignore them.
Submitted by ChannelDunlap (user info) at 2005-09-01 04:34:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Any cracker who can use Nigger in their everday life gets a +2 in my book. If you don't, give it to your kid.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-09-01 04:03:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There are a ton of great quotes in this. The story and reviews.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-09-01 03:42:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your son rocks!
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2005-09-01 03:26:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Most kids are racists my nearly one year old hates black dolls and that certainly isn't something she learnt from me. She's just a born racist.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-09-01 03:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That black 'nigger' behind the counter was me, you racist bastard.
Submitted by psychabillyjean (user info) at 2005-09-01 02:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Once, a number of years ago, I was really high and really broke at 2:00 am. I gathered up $3.00 in coins and drove to Taco Cabana where I ordered 10 tortillas, a pint of beans, and a cup of cheese. When I pulled up to the window I gave the handful of coins to this really fat Mexican lady, probably 30. She looked at me like I stole her churros and said in a tone more scolding than I have ever received from a fast food employee, "I SAID $3.47"
"Oh, I'm sorry, what did I give you?" I asked in an apologetic tone
"$3.46"
"Oh, my bad here you go," I said as I got another penny out of the ashtray and handed to her. Then I added, "Bitch". The last part I did not realize I said out loud because I was so high.
The guy in the passenger's seat looked at me in amazement. Apparantly I said it very loud.
Long story short, our order had been in a bag on the window ready to go. After I called her a bitch, she took the bag away and was literally gone for ten minutes. When she finally came back, both of us were sure she wiped her ass with the tortillas followed by the urinal and then the floor. We ate them anyway because that's what you do when you're high and broke.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-01 02:06:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-08-31 22:47:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your son was confused because in some parts of the South you can actually still order a "20 pack of niggers" for farm work.
Spelchek?
-------------------
mayhaps in the South of Australia; our are too lazy to work anymore.
Submitted by Phate (user info) at 2005-09-01 01:59:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There is no excuse fot your son to know that word. You should go back there again tomorrow and beg that nigger for forgiveness.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-09-01 01:27:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your son is a straight shooter. That's an admirable quality.
Submitted by Rasta (user info) at 2005-09-01 01:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oooooh..that whole "We can treat you like shit because you said Nigger" makes me irate.
Pick any word that allows me to act completely irrational. go ahead. I'm a melting pot of about 12 different nations but look like a white boy. What is my word? What word am i allowed to kick your ass for using? What word could you use on me that you would feel the need to apologize.
Equality my ass. Special treatment is what they want. boy. Don't get me started. too late. lol
Submitted by hael (user info) at 2005-08-31 23:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice one
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-08-31 23:23:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I know he learned it from you
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2005-08-31 23:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now, why all you you whitey's go playin' up in yo' ass like dat?
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-08-31 23:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-08-31 22:47:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your son was confused because in some parts of the South you can actually still order a "20 pack of niggers" for farm work.
Can you order those online?
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-08-31 23:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
har har Mcnigger
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (user info) at 2005-08-31 23:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sounds like your son was justified,
when i was a kid, my older brother was named michael, but i would mis-pronunciate and say guckgle, i know its not racist but i still can compare to being a little kid and saying the wrong shit
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-08-31 23:11:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
McNigger pleeze.
Submitted by Salvation_Jane (user info) at 2005-08-31 23:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for racist children
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2005-08-31 22:58:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's some crazy shit. I think you made the right decision about leaving without the food.
When I was a kid I went to the zoo with my Dad and brother. Whilst at an enclosure with crocodiles these hot women came up and started oohing and aahing over us and then my brother pipes up "Daddy, Daddy look at the fuckadiles". There is just no explaining that away.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-08-31 22:57:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
I want a chicken nigger meal too!
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-08-31 22:56:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*too
derp
derp
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-08-31 22:51:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah i dont spellcheck any of my posts. Reason being the computers here at work arent really computers, more like dummy computers. They are all hooked to one big computer. Way to complicated for me to figure out.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-08-31 22:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
From the mouths of children hehehehe.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-08-31 22:47:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your son was confused because in some parts of the South you can actually still order a "20 pack of niggers" for farm work.
Spelchek?
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2005-08-31 22:46:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
grrrrrrrrreat!
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-08-31 22:43:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-08-31 22:39:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yup
Submitted by starshine (user info) at 2005-08-31 22:36:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Grrr. Well handled.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-08-31 22:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Double standards, man. Not all black people are like that. Just most of them from those areas.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-08-31 22:30:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am too tired to actually ponder this. I will just think about what it is
like where I live...
yup
yup
word
yup
okay yeah. I agree with you 100%.