A black belt in shitty. (2207 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.73 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Its Always Seven (View user info) at 2003-05-13 18:37:40 EDT
I used to take karate lessons when i was a little kid, in hopes that they would make me strong, and good at fighting.
They didnt.
Martial arts are a fucking joke.
Asians have pulled the wool over our eyes yet again....
User Reviews
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-06-28 23:06:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what?
go back to myspace.
Submitted by D-Prime (user info) at 2006-06-28 22:42:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hmm... this is hard for me to say because i have a 2nd degree blackbelt in tae kwon do, and a red belt in hapkido...
i know that most martial arts will not help you on the street atall(trust me i learned from experience) but hapkido on the otherhand i have been in lots of fights and used it and it has saved my ass all around. i think that what happened was the azn's made tae kwon do, karate, judo, kendo, and all the other bullshit ones and realised that they didnt work so they made hapkido which is basically a mix of all the components of everything plus streetfighting a bit it incorperates jointlocksover 2000!, pressurepoints over 2000!, and grappeling, kicking,punching, disarment, and bunch of that stuff. hapkido is the only martialart that will save your ass!
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-01-28 22:19:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There should be a fighting style where a person bites the other, and also disembowels them. I love biting people:
Everyone: You're sick!
Me: Biting people kicks ass.
Everyone: You're just a pussy!
*pretends to bite those people and they cower*
Me: You are the pussies.
Biting kicks ass.
-Mike Spencer
"The Yellow Dart"
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2003-10-28 07:29:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just noticed this post & feel I have to correct several glaring mistakes.
1) Judo is a child of Dr. Jigiro Kano & was developed in the late 1800 as a "sport" subset of techniques of Ju-jitsu. As such, judo techniques are relegated to throws, holds, sweeps, chokes & levarage. Judo is by no means confined to ground fighting.
2) as regards jujitsu, I suggest you read this. http://akayama.topcities.com/history.htm
Submitted by JinkyWilliams (user info) at 2003-08-07 11:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The problem here is that you decided on the wrong martial arts. There are "arts" and then there are "fighting methods". Some styles of karate aren't good for much more than forms. Other styles, like shotokan, just plain rock. Krav Maga is a great practical defense. It was originally developed by Imi Luchtenfeld, a wrestler and boxer. He modified his techniques for street fighting. It's taught to almost all of Israeli military forces, and some U.S. law enforcement. Or Muay Thai, Thai kickboxing, definitely speaks for itself. Look it up. Kung-fu (wing chun and hun gar, in particular) are always good bets, as is tae kwon do. Aikido, pakration, savate, the list goes on. And of course, there's ninjitsu.
Bottom line is that there are plenty of practical self-defence martial arts. It just depends on the one you choose (as well as the teacher, as was pointed out by another poster). All you've done here is group all martial arts together and called them crap as well as accuse the Asians of fraud.
Submitted by ItsAlwaysSeven (user info) at 2003-05-17 16:43:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If martial arts wont help you kick ass on some punk that starts nerding around in your shit... then what the fuck is it good for?
Again, proving my theory that a padlock wrapped in a bandana is far better than 10 years of kung-fu classes.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2003-05-15 16:51:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I agree. Your only hope is to buy a gun http://users.breathemail.net/austindangerpowers/Austin1/Sounds/Laugh.mp3
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-05-15 16:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no way this
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=104751751310571303
can't be the thing that is keeping you from running?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-05-15 16:29:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the last time i ran a 10-miler, i did it in one hour flat. that's 6 minute splits. i couldn't run ONE 6 minute mile right now. after taking up drinking and smoking, and forgetting about exercise and proper diet, i've turned into such a piece of shit...
do you know how depressing it is?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-05-15 16:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's pretty good Hidden. My knees are not up to any more than a 10k. I thought about training for a marathon, but I decided that I didn't want to end up in tae chi and swimming laps instead of shotokan and running.
I'm pretty sure jujitsu is either from Japan or Okinawa, and any martial art that ends in "tsu" has thuggish leanings. The sport version is Judo, but I'm not really into ground fighting unless someone buys me dinner first and even then I tend to be a bit choosy.
Submitted by Istaros <archon_templar.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-05-15 15:56:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just find it amusing taht jeetkunetony essentially denied that jiu-jitsu/nin-jitsu was, for a good long time, considered a "thug's karate" in... was it Japan?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-05-15 15:55:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I can run a 10k in under and hour so you'll have to catch me first"
i used to be able to run 10 MILES in under an hour.
...god i'm out of shape.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2003-05-15 15:53:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because i had to scroll right to read the ratings
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-05-15 15:49:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't know why I am bothering to answer this other than the fact that oh yes, I have in fact already finished everything I need to do at work today and it's only 3:30.
If you want to be strong - lift weights
If you want to learn how to fight - join a street gang
If you want to defend yourself - practice dialing 9-1-1 while you're running like hell
Martial arts is not about fighting and kicking ass. There is a self defense component to it and a fighting one as well, and now that I think about it there are a few school out there that do teach no holes barred fighting styles, but they are run by crazed, no brain no pain types, make sure your insurance is paid up and good luck with that.
Real martial arts, as opposed to Power Rangers karate is more about control, discipline, respect, thinking on your feet, concentration, achieving goals (insert yellow pages brochure here). It's also a lot of fun and one of the few sports that you can play for the rest of your life and start at any age.
Street fighting? Shit no, I can run a 10k in under and hour so you'll have to catch me first and then be damn sure that I'm going to fight dirty. Ain't no shame in smashing someone with a brick. The thing about self defense is that the person who is attacking you does this all the time and is hopped up on god knows what and can't feel anything. He's been mugging people since he was a kid whereas this is your first mugging so guess who has the upper hand here. Also, I don't want to skulk around like a paranoid schizophrenic waiting for someone to attack me.
People ask me all the time if I've ever "used" it. Hell yes, I used it just last night, in the dojo, where it is meant to be used. I also "use" the zen side of it to keep from road raging and to face any number of adversities that come my way.
So essentially grasshopper, martial arts is not the problem you are, but hey not everyone can hack it. Of course that's just my opinion and we've already established that I'm a bitch.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1053007560628326749
Submitted by jeetkunetony (user info) at 2003-05-14 21:34:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey Hadooken, quit watching Tae Kwon Do and stuff like that. If you want to learn how to apply martial arts to real life it doesn't have to be in some self defense class, or tae kwon do class, get to a class that will do stuff like kickboxing, grappling, jun fan, REAL fighting techniques. I agree, there are no ref's in real life, that's why I don't do that kind of fighting.
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-05-14 11:06:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So true Hidden, however you better be a quick draw with that shotgun, or ninja boy is going to relieve you of it, real quick like.
Don't think, just pull the trigger.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-05-14 08:38:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"A shotgun blast to the chest beats a fucking liu kang dragon kick anyday of the week. And lets see your self defense save you when somebody hits you in the back of the head with a brick or runs your ass over with a fuckin ford escort."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Dirk (user info) at 2003-05-14 08:25:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's not the martial arts that are a joke, it's you. Maybe if you learned from an asian who was good in martial arts as opposed to some stupid american with a tan who charged your parents $200 for a piece of black cloth then you'd be a bad ass. Anyhow, american martial arts regardless of how many asian names and characters they put in the sign on their store in some strip mall are a waste of fucking time, money, and rental space that could be used for a porno store.
OuT - DirK
http://www.drinkddt.com
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2003-05-14 08:07:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm gonna have to somewhat agree with chip on this one. it's not that i don't believe martial arts works or not. As far as self defense goes I could give a shit. If it comes time to get into a fight, I don't expect a referee to show up and award me points for stiking somebody and I damn sure don't plan on following any rules. I am more than likely gonna find a big stick or some other big-ass object that can cause bodily harm. I just think its ri-fucking-diculous how everybody thinks it's the canned heat. A shotgun blast to the chest beats a fucking liu kang dragon kick anyday of the week. And lets see your self defense save you when somebody hits you in the back of the head with a brick or runs your ass over with a fuckin ford escort.
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2003-05-14 07:41:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=104974234341251811#20587
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2003-05-14 07:40:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ninjas break into shit all the time. That's their job. Just ask Tina.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2003-05-14 01:01:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you saying that not one person who knows "martial arts" has ever broken into a house? I didn't think so.
Submitted by BerZerK (user info) at 2003-05-14 00:39:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ha Ha.. are you guys really arguing over martial arts?
please..
i have to make myself respond to these pre-pubescent posts.
i am not about to argue over them.
-BerZ
Submitted by jeetkunetony (user info) at 2003-05-13 22:34:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OK Chip, once again your stupidity amazes me. Why would a jiu-jitsu master break into your house anyway? A master of the martial arts is a little more wise and has a little more respect than your average hoodlum. They don't just go around breaking into houses. They do it ninja style, haha.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2003-05-13 21:54:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Look, if martial arts is gay and one huge joke, how do you explain Bruce Lee doing hand-stand push ups on his pinkie's? The man was nearly fucking 'Jesus Ripped'.
I don't really care for it, but I'll be damned if Jackie Chan wouldn't come to your house and psycho-flex the hell out of you with his meditating powers.
Flush that ya bitch.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-05-13 21:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
did you just get your ass kicked today, or something?
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-05-13 20:53:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Martial Arts kick ass. I wish I had taken up some form of martial arts when I was younger. Maybe I will someday... Who knows?
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2003-05-13 20:11:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Martial Arts are gay. Why the fuck does anyone do them? Especially since that if any Jujitsu master breaks into my house, I'm blowing his Asian head off with a shotgun. He can "hyah" all he wants, but it won't stop me from blowing is dick off with a .45.
Fucking Martial Artists. Even the name "Martial Arts" is gay.
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2003-05-13 20:09:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I am a master of the martial arts.
Go now, for you have incurred my wrath, bitch.
Submitted by SantonioSpur (user info) at 2003-05-13 19:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
From what I've pulled together, martial arts won't necessarily make you stronger, and its only a method of self defense.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-05-13 19:43:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I do Tae-bo, I'll kick your ass."
I heard this from a retard we call Floyd. (the first day he was at the school, he wouldn't tell anyone his name, so we said 'Hey he looks like a Floyd')
Submitted by jtber (user info) at 2003-05-13 19:40:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are the master black belt of shitty posts, bitch.
JT
Submitted by jeetkunetony (user info) at 2003-05-13 19:40:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you, don't ever dis martial arts. This is a quote told to my instructor when he tried out Aikido. My instructor told the aikido teacher that he didn't think aikido worked. The aikido instructor replied "Your Aikido doesn't work". Just 'cause you can't do it doesn't mean it doesn't work. Bring it on anyday, I would woop you, biatch.
Submitted by Crash3087 (user info) at 2003-05-13 19:12:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this is so ATTN GHEY MENZ
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2003-05-13 18:41:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Tiger Shulmans Karate isnt real martial arts, dipshit. Find a real instuctor or master, whatever the fuck you wanna call it and I bet you could kick some ass.
Submitted by skitty (user info) at 2003-05-13 18:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that's because you suck.