Some 'Kiddie' Porn Is Okay... But Certainly Not All... (2051 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: Classics
Rating: 0.96 on 56 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by d_prime <dprime.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-09-02 00:08:59 EDT
At the beginning of the summer, I moved from the ghettos of Toronto (not really, but I like to say that) to a random section of generic Canadian suburbia. Little did I know that this would start a chain of events which would change my life forever, or at least, make this day a little more awkward; by a little, I mean a whole fucking lot.
I had to go to an 'Orientation Day' at my new high school at 10am this morning. No big deal, right? This caused me to have to get up before my dad left for work at 7am (he doesn't trust me to get up in time on my own.) I go to this orientation thingy, it's stupid and meaningless and half an hour long, I come back, and I'm bored and too tired to read or play bass because I only got 4 hours sleep last night, and none the night before.
So, as usual, I make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and look for porn while listening to Rush. No big deal. The sandwich was a bit over-done and a little messy, but other than that, nothing suspicious was happening.
Well, I had a small problem. 'Girls 18 and older only' just doesn't quite do it for my 15-going-on-16-year-old self. So, I looked for one of them legal, pseudo-porn, 'modeling' sites for girls my age that don't show any actual 'bad parts.' There's nothing wrong with that, right?
Well, there is something wrong with another aspect of what happened. Though (jokes from a few months ago not withstanding) I'm not into *that* kind of *entertainment* these legal, pseudo-porn, under age 'model' sites don't only cater to individuals such as my self who want 16 year-olds... they cater to people who are interested in all ages... such as prepubescent ages.
Despite the fact that there's no actual pornography, seeing a sex-themed site of which only 25% of the girls were 14 or older, even in passing, disturbed the fuck out of me. It disturbed me more than real child pornography would have, just like regular porn would offend a Christian Fundamentalist more if it was, say, on the back of a box of children's cereal and set up subtly to seduce people.
Well, no big deal really, nothing I can do about it. I closed the window and decided that my endeavor for 16 year-olds certainly wasn't worth wading through THAT, and I got tired of the thought of finding porn altogether. I'll have more coffee and then be able to do something real, I thought.
I'm upstairs playing bass later that afternoon and continue to do so past the time my dad normally gets home.
When I come downstairs to the basement, I see my father checking my Internet history, which I did not erase. He hardly ever does this. In fact, I think this was the first time since before I was 13. Coming across a porn site he would, knowing him, probably laugh and make a few quips at me about it and then go on with business as usual. Well, it wasn't just a porn site that he saw. I saw him open one of those flashy 'under-age model' pseudo-porn sites.
I knew that it was no hope to tell him the truth (he wouldn't believe me,) so I figured I'd say that they were part of a less-than-wholesome pop-up ad, or that I was curious, or went there by mistake or something. Yeah, that'd work. I even thought that I'd say that I did it just to see whether or not he ever checks my Internet history.
Then, of course, he looks down at the nice black computer chair and sees a thin smear of jelly from my sandwich. There wasn't enough to show its color, especially when on dark black leather, but whew was there ever enough to reveal its sticky, relatively thick texture. Remember, this is cheap No Frills jelly which I happen to prefer, so it doesn't have the grape seeds or whatever in it; damn me and my ghetto tastes and my bringing them with me to the 'burbs!
Upon seeing this, I instantly ran upstairs and hid in my bedroom as though I didn't see or hear him or any of what happened. I didn't come out until he was in bed, hoping that I wouldn't hear about it and this little problem would all go away; I really didn't want to face him.
I haven't spoken to my father since. Maybe I can just avoid him for the next few years and eventually he'll forget?
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-09-04 01:28:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Indeed.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-09-02 23:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
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Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-02 15:42:30 (#)
Ranking: -2
one post per day
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 16:11:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
4 posts per day over the 7 to the 9
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-02 15:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
one post per day
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 14:44:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-09-02 11:17:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Kid, this will be one of those things he reminds you about on your wedding day. You'll be lucky if he doesn't fit it into a speech.
-
Hahahahahaha...
Hadley, I really doubt that I'll be on it in six months. I think that if I kept this rate, I'd be on it in about seven or eight, seeing as not many people in the low area of the MVA are going up that fast, and even if more people get on it, the bottom five or so all pretty much have the same amount of hits. However, I almost certainly WONT keep up this rate.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-09-02 12:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Meh. Just look at the 18-yr-olds that look young enough to be 16-yr-olds. Sometimes I am shocked when I read 'all models appearing on this site were 18 years of age at the time of photography" I'm like 'bullshit, she is maybe 17 tops'
Submitted by spamtrap50 (user info) at 2005-09-02 12:45:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brand new Angry Kansan!
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-09-02 11:51:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Creepy?
LWF
WOOOOOOOOO
http://www.ubersite.com/m/74448
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-09-02 11:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i just found out that s+m porn may soon become illegal in the uk...
time to buy a new hard drive.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-09-02 11:17:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kid, this will be one of those things he reminds you about on your wedding day. You'll be lucky if he doesn't fit it into a speech.
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2005-09-02 10:59:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
he won't forget
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-09-02 10:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
should've had a picture
wait, what?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rad you just need to get someone on the MVA banned
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:25:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here, in Las Vegas, you can lust after as many 16 and 17 years olds you want.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/54596
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:22:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Er...I used to lust after gals who were 16/17, which was dandy because I was 17 too, but now that I'm 18 I'm not allowed to.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:03:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I predict I'll hit it at about 06:05 Ubertime on the 19th of September.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-09-02 07:51:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 02:16:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
I just broke 66 000 hits, after breaking 65 000 hits this afternoon. At this rate I'll be on the MVA in 5-6 months. OH NOEZ
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Doesn't this assume that the people ahead of you STOP getting hits for that whole time? Yes. Yes it does.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-09-02 07:33:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
rad = MVA in 3 weeks. My prediction.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-09-02 03:22:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All it takes to get on the mva is posting absolute fucking crap.
You're well on your way. Congrats!
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 03:20:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I DID say at this rate. If I continue whoring ubersite like I have been recently, I likely will.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-02 03:09:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 02:16:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
I just broke 66 000 hits, after breaking 65 000 hits this afternoon. At this rate I'll be on the MVA in 5-6 months. OH NOEZ
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doubt it.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 03:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
At this point I believe the odds are in my favor.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-02 03:03:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahah. I'll race you to MVA.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-09-02 02:51:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wtf no pic
Submitted by Menaretehsuck (user info) at 2005-09-02 02:37:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good job.
Submitted by Rima (user info) at 2005-09-02 02:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+ 2 long!
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 02:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just broke 66 000 hits, after breaking 65 000 hits this afternoon. At this rate I'll be on the MVA in 5-6 months. OH NOEZ
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-09-02 02:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When did Fuckface come back?
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 01:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:25:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, but I wasn't planning on getting in on that. I went there by mistake while looking for 16 year-olds.
Also, it wsa indirectly sexually themed. there was no actual porn. completely legal, though disgusting.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-02 01:43:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:15:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
You think because you are slightly underage it's your personal right to jerk off over kids?
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 01:43:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you coming on to me?
Submitted by AlkalineSolo (user info) at 2005-09-02 01:33:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm 16.
With that said, I have, my whole life, found girls approximately 20 attractive. And in my hopes it will stay that way well into my eighties.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-09-02 01:16:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you two are sooo cute.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 01:01:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And d_prime loves his FAC.
In the most HOMOSEXUAL way possible.
I also hate that other guy. Grrr.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FAC loves his d_prime.
But FAC hates his PFF. Fucking PFF.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:45:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Note that I don't feel bad now, because I know that FAC loves me any way...
...right...?
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:43:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I found this quite funny and entertaining, especially when Mr Cancer made the comment about being glad you were back. He was actually referring to PFF. He is the one that has been gone for a little while. You will get used to him. PFF i mean. Or maybe you wont, hard to tell.
Submitted by starshine (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:34:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks billy!
Submitted by Boon (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have psychabillyjean to thank for this +2.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So when you were in high school, after having just moved to a different city, you could sit in your basement, too tired to do any thing or go any where, and magically produce attractive chicks to fuck? Teach me!
I'm not a virgin, however, I'm not able to make females apparate in front of me. Sorry if that makes me a loser.
Submitted by psychabillyjean (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're in high school, right? If you weren't such a loser you'd be getting REAL 16-year-old pussy.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:27:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha *two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff*
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:26:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
116 year olds?
www.elderlycarecenter.org
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:25:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, but I wasn't planning on getting in on that. I went there by mistake while looking for 116 year-olds.
Also, it wsa indirectly sexually themed. there was no actual porn. completely legal, though disgusting.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"seeing a sex-themed site of which only 25% of the girls were 14 or older"
meaning the other 75% are how old? anyway, like I said I don't give a fuck, good day
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:24:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh I was gone for *two* days. Fuck, for most people that's not even considered gone. I guess I'm different because I'm always on.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:22:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'back'? I've posted almost every day since December.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:21:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
DID YOU GUYS NOT GET THIS???
I wasn't looking at children. I was looking at 16 year-olds. I'm not a pedophile.
Also, these sites aren't illegal. They're just completely disgusting and it's embarassing to get caught with them.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:21:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And PFF, if you're sixteen, what's wrong with being attracted to sixteen year old girls? It's not statutory or anything, and it's the equivalent of jacking off to the hot junior varsity cheerleader at your high school. You're just being a nit-picking ass who has to scrutinize everything to be a dick.
Did I mention how happy I am that you're back?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:19:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
when they come to the house to arrest your dad, being that it is his domicile, I guess you could talk to him then.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually come to think of it I don't really give a shit, if you don't think it's illegal and you don't believe in god, then it doesn't really matter what you do. still a pretty pointless post
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:18:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Minus the quasi-getting caught part, I relate to this.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You think because you are slightly underage it's your personal right to jerk off over kids?
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:12:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nothing's more gay than looking for images of 16 year-old females on the Internet.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-09-02 00:11:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
faggit