Never Judge Your Success By How High Up The Ladder You Get, Judge It By How High You Bounce When You Fall Off And Hit The Bottom (884 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.83 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Merlina (View user info) at 2005-09-02 06:15:24 EDT
A colleague of mine died last weekend. A lovely guy who was only 58. He had taken a few months off with stress and he was a hard worker. He was one of the bosses in the corporate world of London. Threw his life into working to provide for his wife and children only to have it cut so short. So early.
It got me thinking about how my father was only 6 weeks into retirement when he died. And how many emails I receive from head office saying that someone who recently retired, has died.
It seems to me, certainly here in London, that the more money that's earnt, the more affluent people become and how much they get used to having that 'perfect' holiday, the more money people want. That big house, the good school for the kids... never having to 'want' for anything.
That's the aim, isn't it?. To get to That Place.
The sad thing is - is that by the time you have it - your life has been a big ball of waste. Days spent miserably at desks. Meetings, lectures, presentations..
I don't doubt that some of these corporate bosses like their job, but how much of them being there is to feel a winner.
How many would have the courage to go home to their wives and say "darling, I know you've got used to the hot tub, this sprawling house, the trips to the Maldives" but I'm actually a bit knackered. You don't mind if I quit do you and we go and live in a small house somewhere else?"
The higher a man gets on the ladder of success, the further he has to fall.
Hell, I don't even want to climb. I can tell the age of someone at work, by how much he or she want to move on up that career ladder. They're grappling the rungs like a starving man who has been given bread.
When I was in my twenties, I worked seven days a week, 10 hours a day for a company. I was a retail area manager. But when it came down to it, they treated me like everyone else and made me redundant. Fair enough I thought. But I'll tell you what; I have never given loyalty to a company since. Not really.
And since hitting 30 I didn't really care about the company or it's fat cat boss. I come here to earn enough to be able to have my own company. And I am SO close I can almost taste the juices dripping off its delicious freedom.
I'm not saying that working hard will kill you but pressure and stress in this working world is not to be under estimated. I adore working but when working for myself, either with my flowers or renovating the house with The Bloke. Then I don't feel stressed. I feel alive. Exhausted by happy. At the office.... Well, I kind of understand why suicide exists.
The thought that my boss, who I get on really well with, is heading the same way as the other guy is depressing. He knows it too. He heard about this colleague's death and the worry was etched on his weary worn face. "Maybe we should all learn something from this" was the first thing he said to me upon hearing the sad news. "Maybe all the crap you spout on about working for yourself in the country makes a teeny bit more sense" he added with a wry grin.
But he knows he can't go home and say that to his lovely wife and two little daughters. He has a lifestyle to maintain. He is the Dad. The Man. The hunter-gatherer and the one they all look up to. He can't just quit. Not now. He's in his mid forties and he'll carry on, picking up the stress of London finance and put it on his shoulders all day at work, even on the train on the way home as he works on his laptop.
"Look um... hey.... don't die" was all I could say to him with a little lump in my throat. He smiled and carried on.
It scares me, it really does.
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A rat race indeed, a hard working breed
Will give up their lives just to toil
A standard of life, a family, a wife
The stress is beginning to boil
A meeting is called, up against the wall
He knows he has to attend
He's learnt a façade
Face blank as card
He knows he has to pretend
His wife in the pool,
His kids in good schools
The man had nowhere to hide
In the office at 8, working usually late
His heart said 'no more'
And he died.
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User Reviews
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-09 08:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Simple and emotive.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-10-09 08:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I only work part time now and I've given up all my management responsibility (and half my pay...)Best thing I ever did. I spent this morning painting with the baby, and took her round to see her grandad. The way I look at it is that I'm never going to look back and wish I spent more time at work.
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-09 08:03:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read this because I don't read depressing things. It helps with my overall mood.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-02 15:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
2 posts about ladders in two days, hmmm.
Submitted by spamtrap50 (user info) at 2005-09-02 12:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brand new Angry Kansan!
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-09-02 12:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know many successful people that have become who they are simply because they got married, had children and are now too afraid to go home and deal with reality.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-09-02 11:09:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Money, Money, Money - It makes the world go round.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-09-02 11:03:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2005-09-02 10:43:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
- because whenever it came time to choose between spending extra hours at work, or spending that time with my mother, sister, and I....he chose to come home to what was truly important to him.
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Your father is a smart man..
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2005-09-02 10:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was well written.
It rings so true...and hits so close to home.
My father will probably never retire. He'll be working until his dieing day. The reason: He never sacrificed his family life for his job. He is an extremely smart man, a business genious with multiple college degrees and decades of management experience...and he is working as a bartender for the last two years. Why you ask - because whenever it came time to choose between spending extra hours at work, or spending that time with my mother, sister, and I....he chose to come home to what was truly important to him.
Take some time for whats truly important in your life. There will be plenty of time for the world to chew you up and spit you out later.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are very right. I think my dad would go the same way if he didn't play golf.
Play golf.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:42:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by The_Bloke (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:40:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:16:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
...Men in suits turn me off.
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except birthday suits?
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oooh yes, The Bloke, except birthday suits...
Submitted by The_Bloke (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:40:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:16:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
...Men in suits turn me off.
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except birthday suits?
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:16:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you can buy a decent house in the Bulgarian countryside for about six grand. communal living is the way forward.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:16:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know. Pathetic.
Men in suits turn me off.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:09:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What depresses me is seeing grown men in their seventies fighting for control over various stocks and company assets. Get a fucking life.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:02:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm thinking on starting a PayPal account the purchase of the Uber Commune Island...some where out in the Bermudas or somthing....
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Sounds like an alternate version of Lord of the Flies. It'll all get a bit 'Alaister Crowley'.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm thinking on starting a PayPal account the purchase of the Uber Commune Island...some where out in the Bermudas or somthing....
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:43:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:41:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice post, i've been looking at hippy communes and they are bloody hard to find. Looks like Fabit is staying in civilisation!!
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There's a good one in Amsterdam actually.
However, I wouldn't live in a commune - too many people. I like animals. Lots of lovely animals.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:41:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice post, i've been looking at hippy communes and they are bloody hard to find. Looks like Fabit is staying in civilisation!!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:36:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HIPPIE COMMUNE IN MISSOURI HERE WE COME!
Submitted by The_Bloke (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:32:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice post.
One day we'll be free. Till then get your but over here and get painting; a stepping stone in the great masterplan...
Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah but I like having money to blow on coke and clothes and sluts and my car etc.
Don't particularly enjoy the graft though.
ESPECIALLY IF EXXON-MOBIL WOULD JUST MAKE UP THEIR FUCKING MINDS.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-02 07:30:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nope - Ill stay away from your mother this time
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You'll never manage it dad, you know what your like when you roll in after the pub kicks you out. I remember the time Gran was staying over for the weekend and you stumbled in, too wankered to find the lightswitch, and fell on her when she was lying in the sofa bed. Gave me a hell of a shock in the morning.
Still, at least I learned why the lads call you 'rumplestiltskin'.
*shudder*
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-09-02 07:06:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:56:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:48:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think Im going back to making money to buy coke to feed to cock hungry sluts
At least Ill die young and happy
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And riddled with sores.
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nope - Ill stay away from your mother this time
Submitted by matchoo (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:59:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nicely. people need to remember that when you retire, you're just entering another phase of your (possibly working) life. I see too many of my clients retiring, thinking that life as they know it is now over - that they will be sitting on a rocking chair drinking gin for the rest of their lives. that's the quickest way to an early grave.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:57:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hammer, nail, head.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:56:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:48:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think Im going back to making money to buy coke to feed to cock hungry sluts
At least Ill die young and happy
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And riddled with sores.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:49:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
oh you bloody hippie, wanting freedom from "the man"
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HA HA I'm a proud hippy.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh you bloody hippie, wanting freedom from "the man"
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:48:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think Im going back to making money to buy coke to feed to cock hungry sluts
At least Ill die young and happy
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:44:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
You fell off the ladder?
wait. lemme read this first.
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ha ha ha - oh yeah.. my last post was about falling off ladders wasn't it?!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You fell off the ladder?
wait. lemme read this first.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:41:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We need more of a feel good society. More hugging and kittens. I think that cybernetics and mass redundancies will go a long way towards achieving this goal. At least that's what I read in Personnel Today.
Submitted by Rasta (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:41:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You are so right. I quit being a stock broker in Dallas and moved to Florida. No drama is allowed near me. Peace and relaxation on the river near the beach is all i need now.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:37:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:36:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's just London. In the Midlands people live till they're 90 years old and nobody is ever sad or dies of a heart attack.
Seriously though, life is hard. I like to think it doesn't have to be.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:34:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:26:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a great post.
I've read alot of your stuff, Merlina, and its an eerie coincidence how similar my way of thinking is to yours.
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Hopefully its the 'right' way of thinking ozzy.. we can only hope *wry smile*
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good and very true.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:26:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a great post.
I've read alot of your stuff, Merlina, and its an eerie coincidence how similar my way of thinking is to yours.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry to hear about your colleague.
Nice post
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gah you have no idea how much you lit my torch with this portion:
'How many would have the courage to go home to their wives and say "darling, I know you've got used to the hot tub, this sprawling house, the trips to the Maldives" but I'm actually a bit knackered. You don't mind if I quit do you and we go and live in a small house somewhere else?"'
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-02 06:17:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice