What I, Michael Jackson, got for my 47th Birthday! Includes thank you notes! (1632 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: 1.71 on 70 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Michael Jackson (View user info) at 2005-09-02 08:13:27 EDT
Oh Uber buddies!
As most of you know, Monday was my 47th Birthday! Well, gifts have just been pouring in from all over the world this week. So I just wanted to take some time out and thank all the Uber boys and girls for being so generous to me!
This list is in no particular order, because as you know I, Michael Jackson, love each and every one of you equally!
User Reviews
Submitted by bandphotographer (user info) at 2005-11-09 20:09:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sing me a song, tell me a story... we all love you!
+2 fairy
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-09-03 00:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
frigg'n nazi collaborator
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-09-03 00:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dearest Michael,
I had the most wonderful time at the zoo. I'm sorry that the chimps made you cry.
I know you miss Bubbles.
Love,
Munkey
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-09-02 19:17:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-09-02 17:42:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHAT ABOUT MY TEDDY BEAR I SENT YOU GOD DAMNIT!
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE RESTRAINING ORDER!
GET GOD DAMN GARY COLEMAN OFF OF ME, HE AIN'T SHIT FOR PERSONAL SECURITY!
I SWEAR TO GOD MICHAEL, YOU'LL LEARN TO LOVE ME!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I came by today.
Fuck off.
It's not a daily thing, anymore.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-09-02 15:27:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-09-02 15:20:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
you left the "r" off of the end of my name.
NOW who's ignorant?
------------------
Oh dear :(
<hangs head in shame>
I will repost
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-09-02 15:20:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you left the "r" off of the end of my name.
NOW who's ignorant?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-02 15:10:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dang!
I forgot to send something, sorry...
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-09-02 14:06:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you so much, Michael, that I've scheduled a dr.'s appointment so I can look into having surgery that will make me a 12 year old boy forever so that you'll love me back.
Hope you like redheads.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-09-02 14:04:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-09-02 14:02:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Michael, why dont you return my emails? I send you at least 3 a day. And you made no mention of the bound and gagged 7 year old white boy I sent you for your birthday, why? I know I'm older now and not the boy I once was. But damn it Michael, I love you!
------------------------
I just checked my mail! There are none from you? Are you sending to the correct place? neverland_ranch_69.at.yahoo.com? I would hate to miss out on any fan emails from my uber fans!
<grabs crotch>
<fires machine gun>
<leans 41 degrees>
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-09-02 14:02:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Michael, why dont you return my emails? I send you at least 3 a day. And you made no mention of the bound and gagged 7 year old white boy I sent you for your birthday, why? I know I'm older now and not the boy I once was. But damn it Michael, I love you!
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-09-02 13:53:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-09-02 13:52:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew you'd love it!
I got my dad the same thing. My dad's birthday is the same day as yours', Michael. OMG YOU'RE BITDHAY TWINS!
------------------------------
MY WORD! I COULD BE YOUR DAD! LET'S CELEBRATE! MORE POUTINE FOR EVERYONE!
Shamone!
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-09-02 13:52:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew you'd love it!
I got my dad the same thing. My dad's birthday is the same day as yours', Michael. OMG YOU'RE BITDHAY TWINS!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-09-02 13:42:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice.
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-09-02 13:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A Yee Hee!
Shamone!
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-09-02 13:22:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-09-02 13:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-09-02 13:04:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-09-02 12:55:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
---------------------
Oh now you +2 it? You confuse sometimes Buckeyes... just let it go! Reveal your true feelings for me, Michael Jackson! Shamone!
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-09-02 12:55:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by spamtrap50 (user info) at 2005-09-02 12:49:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brand new Angry Kansan!
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-09-02 12:21:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-09-02 12:19:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Michael,
HAHA RABBIT!
Love,
Rad101
__________________
Yay Rad
----------------
It's his birthday! I sent him a poney! Ah yee hee!
Remember Rad, ponies need food!
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-09-02 12:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Michael,
HAHA RABBIT!
Love,
Rad101
__________________
Yay Rad
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-09-02 12:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-09-02 12:08:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The gift from Kraka alone deserves a plethora of +2s
NICE WORK
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-09-02 11:50:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it's not retared. i laughed my skinny white ass off.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-09-02 11:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2005-09-02 11:22:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOO
SAve me a bottle mike
or i will bash your soul
-------------------------
WOOOO!
First review since unbanning!
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2005-09-02 11:22:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOO
SAve me a bottle mike
or i will bash your soul
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-09-02 10:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-09-02 10:51:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
i'd offer to tutor you (regarding bart bart's gift) but i know how your tastes have changed since...well, since i "changed."
what will you do with 40 lbs of assorted animal-shaped rubber bands? i have faith that you will put them to good use.
hey! you could send them to the disaster zones! starving people love colorful stretchy bands of rubber. it's a fact!
stop by the firm later, some of the lawyers want to meet you. (they're all defense attorneys, not prosecutors, so rest easy)
there will be punch, brownies, and other various refreshments.
if you want, i can clear some of the clutter off of the old "breakdancing stage" we have in the basement. it hasn't been used in a while, but i'm sure that after a good waxing/polishing by yours truly, it will be in ship shape.
we look forward to a celebratory moonwalk.
ceeeeelebrate good times, shamone!
sassmaster
----------------------------
I told you yesterday that this was going to be retarded.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-09-02 10:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'd offer to tutor you (regarding bart bart's gift) but i know how your tastes have changed since...well, since i "changed."
what will you do with 40 lbs of assorted animal-shaped rubber bands? i have faith that you will put them to good use.
hey! you could send them to the disaster zones! starving people love colorful stretchy bands of rubber. it's a fact!
stop by the firm later, some of the lawyers want to meet you. (they're all defense attorneys, not prosecutors, so rest easy)
there will be punch, brownies, and other various refreshments.
if you want, i can clear some of the clutter off of the old "breakdancing stage" we have in the basement. it hasn't been used in a while, but i'm sure that after a good waxing/polishing by yours truly, it will be in ship shape.
we look forward to a celebratory moonwalk.
ceeeeelebrate good times, shamone!
sassmaster
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-09-02 10:50:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the way this post has no mention whatsoever of my Birthday gift to you, Michael "King of Pop" Jackson. I don't send everyone my 7-year-old son on their birthdays, you know!
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-09-02 10:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
best.
alter.
evar.
Submitted by starshine (user info) at 2005-09-02 10:32:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you!
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-09-02 10:25:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-09-02 10:18:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
You are, by far, the strangest man who has gotten into my pants.
I love you, Michael!
----------------------------------------
I love you too! The pants itch! Shamone!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-09-02 10:18:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are, by far, the strangest man who has gotten into my pants.
I love you, Michael!
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-09-02 10:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't understand... You didn't get the neighbor's child I sent you? I stuffed him in a crate and put in plenty of air holes and plastic suffocation bags! I bet Ashcroft has something to do with this.
Fucking homeland security.
Happy Birthday anyways.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-09-02 10:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:25:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:22:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
and i went to all that trouble hand wrapping and posting... *sob* ... and not a .... not a mention of it *waaaaah*
-------------------
Those Bahraini's must have stolen it! <weeps>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But the post office said your pet llama signed for it!
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-09-02 10:03:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This shit is hilarious!
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:58:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
coolsome
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is gold. Pure fucking gold.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:43:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:37:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess you didn't get my preseant....
Time to kill the postman.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:35:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my goodness, Michael Jackson, you're my hero.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahahaha. What ignorant uber buddy wasted a dollar on the Uberboard in jest?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:00:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
He's not Danger_Ranger.
He's not Habeeb.
He's not Adam.
I think he's Method now.
--------
SHUT UP. IT IS THE REAL MJ!
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:15:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is awesome on a whole new level.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:05:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:04:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Michael, I just knew you'd understand what I was really trying to say with that book. <sobs> No one has ever made me feel . . .<cries>. No one has ever touched me . . . <weeps>. The way you have . . . <sniffles>. With your music.
I will always and ever be your biggest fan <wails>.
---------------------
<weeps>
I love you too!
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Michael, I just knew you'd understand what I was really trying to say with that book. <sobs> No one has ever made me feel . . .<cries>. No one has ever touched me . . . <weeps>. The way you have . . . <sniffles>. With your music.
I will always and ever be your biggest fan <wails>.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-09-02 09:00:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He's not Danger_Ranger.
He's not Habeeb.
He's not Adam.
I think he's Method now.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:56:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why, but I found this post abso-fucking-lutely hilarious.
For some reason I'm in a really good mood. +2's and abortions for all!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:56:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
She?
Oh, Hi Danger_Ranger....
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:51:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:50:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
The funny thing is, the box actually looks exactly like that.
I think it's hilarious that you have just picked a random user to hate.
------------------
She started it!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:50:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The funny thing is, the box actually looks exactly like that.
I think it's hilarious that you have just picked a random user to hate.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:48:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Michael,
Hadtobedone is so IGNORANT. I'm sorry he's trying to ruin your special day. Happy Birthday!
Love,
Fartsmeller
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Made my ass smile.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:34:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I sent you a combo pack of chips including Doritos, Fritos, Funyuns, baby crap, and books on how to grow marijuana, and this is the slap in the face that awaits me? Fuck off Michael, fuck off and die.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:33:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Poutine is bad ass stuff
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Badassmofo should read this, it'll remind him why life is worth living.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:28:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heee heee! shamone motherhumper!
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:22:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
and i went to all that trouble hand wrapping and posting... *sob* ... and not a .... not a mention of it *waaaaah*
-------------------
Those Bahraini's must have stolen it! <weeps>
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:24:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
??
What the fuck!? Where's my gift?
GOD DAMN UPS!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:24:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Heart attack! Please, Michael! You know I don't go anywhere near that nasty poutine.
On a side note, though, nice birthday gifts! Can I have some of those rubber bands? C'mon! You'll share with your bestest buddy, Tony Danza, won't you? Puh-leaze?!?
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:23:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:22:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
wheres MY birthday present?\
i wanna pony
-------------------
Get back to me on Monday
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:23:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything about this was perfect, right done to the file name
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:23:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
woo it made it. i thought the postal service was going to give me shit about it but when i punched him in the grill and his shit got fucked up hje said he'ed mail the yardbird to ya. glad you liked it.
kracka
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:23:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha. michael, you are shinging beacon that all alters should aspire to.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:22:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and i went to all that trouble hand wrapping and posting... *sob* ... and not a .... not a mention of it *waaaaah*
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:22:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wheres MY birthday present?\
i wanna pony
Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shut up hadley! don't ruin it.
shamone!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-09-02 08:15:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Go away. Please.